Daryl watched carefully from the prison gates as Rick and Glenn bounded up the hill, careful as to not draw any unwanted attention from the various walkers that were limping around in the distance. Daryl stood to watch them leave, readying his crossbow through the fence to cover his two friends in case any of them decided to attack. He wanted to yell after Rick and Glenn to be careful, but he knew that wouldn't be a smart thing to do. Still he opened his mouth on instinct as if the words were about to fall past his lips. Daryl was never the praying type, but he still made sure to say a silent one to himself once the top of Glenn's hat disappeared from under the hill. Rick stopped as if a sudden thought came to mind. The hunter straightened up and looked at his friend, readying the group leader's orders in case there were any. Instead, Rick gave him a grateful nod and Daryl replied with a slight smirk and a friendly nod back. Finally, Rick turned around to catch up to Glenn, and soon, he disappeared in the distance as well.
He knew it was pointless to worry, especially for Rick and Glenn – two of the toughest men in the group. Glenn has sure come a long way and Daryl knew with Rick by his side, he would be okay. Even still, things were only getting worse in this dead world. Though Daryl hated admitting anything to himself, he sure as hell hated to admit he was worried about both of them. All he could think of in that moment was Carl and the baby. If Rick died – "Mm-mmm." Daryl mumbled, shaking his head at the thought. He hated thinking like this. "Stop being a pussy." He muttered to himself before starting back to the prison doors, casually tapping his crossbow on his shoulder as he walked. There were very few walkers limping around outside the gates – not even a hand full, so wasting any arrows would be pointless.
He opened the double doors to get into the prison and made his way to the cell block. Inside Carl was sitting on the stairway, leaning against the railing. His head tilted down so that his hat covered his face. Daryl smiled sadly at the sight. He hardly ever sees that hat off of that kid's head. Glenn wasn't the only one who grew up so much.
"Carl?" Daryl asked cautiously, not sure if the kid was dozed off or not. Not to mention the recent death of Lori – Daryl wasn't sure if Carl was hiding his face because he was recently crying. Of course he was crying – he's been upset for days. Not only did he have to watch his mother suffer during child birth, but he also had to put a bullet in her head to put her out of her misery and to keep her from turning. Daryl winced at the memory.
However, Carl slowly picked up his head, tilting the bridge of the hat back so that he was able to see well. The boy smiled when he saw the man in front of him. For some reason he felt as if Daryl was like an older brother to him ever since his little sister was born just a few days ago. Not to mention that the fact that they had a little bit in common. Like Carl, Daryl also lost his mother when he was very young. Now, for some reason, the kid felt a little more connection the hunter after that story. "Hi, Daryl." Carl said. He sounded out of it, like he has just woken up from a nap.
Daryl walked over and put down his crossbow, leaning the weapon against the railing of the stairs, and taking a seat next to the kid. "Don't worry about your dad." Daryl said, as if reading Carl's mind. There was no mistaking the concern in the boy's voice. "He'll be back."
"You know what's weird?" Carl began. "I never used to be worried when he would make frequent trips back at the farm. Now with my mom gone…." His voice trailed off and he hid his face in the hat again. When Lori died, Carl hardly ever showed any emotion. Daryl assumed that was just the shock and the inability to actually process her death properly. Now it's been just a few days and Carl is finally beginning to show a little more emotion.
Daryl found it best not to tilt Carl's hat up. If the kid was going to cry, he had every right. But he still shouldn't be ashamed of it. Instead, Daryl just wrapped his arm around the boy's shoulder and Carl immediately pressed the side of his head to the man's chest seeking any sort of comfort. Daryl bit his lip, not sure how to handle the whole thing. He was never good around people when they cried or showed emotion like this since, growing up, he never had a shoulder to cry on himself. Though, it still hurt the hunter see Carl broken like this. He was just a kid. This whole thing was just so unfair for him. "I ain't good with words, Carl, but… I know for a fact your father and Glenn will both come back in one piece."
Daryl felt Carl's shoulders quiver. He was crying, but trying so hard to hold back. "Do you miss your brother?" Carl asked softly.
Daryl shifted slightly at the thought of Merle. "Of course I do." He said. "But I know he's alive."
Carl sniffled, "How could you know that?"
Daryl managed a laugh. "I'm alive, ain't I?"
Carl's shoulders shook again, but this time it wasn't from crying. He was laughing. "You are."
"There, see? And if I'm alive, he's alive." Carl pulled away from the man and used the sleeve of his jacket to whip his eyes before looking up at Daryl.
"And you're still alive." Daryl continued. "As long as you're still here, your dad will be. Trust me."
Carl smiled softly and wrapped his arms around Daryl's waist in a hug. "We all trust you, Daryl. Thanks."
The man, rubbed the top of the kid's hat before standing up and taking his crossbow with him. God forbid it's ever out of his hands. "I'm gonna go see if the rest of the group needs anythin'. Will ya be okay?"
Carl nodded. "I'll be fine." He said as he stood up also. "I'm actually going to go see if Beth and Hershel need help with my sister."
Daryl smirked, "Give that Lil' Ass-kicker a hug for me."
Carl rolled his eyes in amusement. Ever since the baby was born, that's all Daryl would call her. Carl did find it funny, but even still, the baby did need a name. He's been thinking about what to call her, but nothing really seemed to stick. "She really needs a new name." Carl said, with a bit of humor to his tone.
"She'll always be Ass-kicker to me."
A sad smirk snaked it's a way onto Carl's lips before he tipped his hat over his eyes and walked away.
oOo
Carol and Maggie were sitting on a bed in one of the cells upstairs. Daryl was just about to walk by when he heard the two girls…. laughing? He stopped short just outside of the doorframe. The sound of laughter during a time like this just made him feel uneasy. He groaned in disgust when he finally decided to step into sight. Maggie was the first to notice Daryl, but the smile still didn't leave her face when her eyes met the man. She just smiled even wider which had Carol turn her head. Daryl's eyes met her's and he suddenly forgot about the laugher bothering him.
"Havin' a party?" He asked sarcastically, still not taking his eyes off of Carol.
"We were just reminiscing." Maggie said.
"About?" Daryl asked, stepping into the room.
"Girl talk, Daryl. Men aren't allowed – out." Maggie teased, pointing to the door way.
Daryl blinked and tapped his fingers on his crossbow. "Now that's not very nice. Choose your words and tone more carefully when you're speaking to a man with a loaded crossbow, missy."
Maggie rolled her eyes, feeling unthreaded. She knew he was only teasing. "Did Glenn and Rick make it out okay?"
"Well, yeah, if they didn't I would be frantic…"
Maggie turned to Carol who just smiled, "He grows on you." She said.
"No I don't." Daryl growled, leaning against the wall behind him.
"You grew on me." Carol muttered, trying not to meet his gaze.
Daryl swallowed hard and shifted uncomfortably. He looked back at Maggie. "What were you two talking about, then? And don't give me that 'girl talk' bullshit."
"Men." Maggie said. Daryl looked confused. "We were talking about men, honey."
"Why did Rick and Glenn leave?" Carol asked, trying to change the subject.
"They went out to get stuff for the baby."
"And why are you here?" Maggie asked, "Shouldn't you be out fetchin' squirrels, arrow boy?"
Daryl smirked. He wanted to keep teasing the girl, but suddenly Carol stood up. "Hey, Maggie, how about you go take over look out? Luckily it's still early so odds are there aren't too many walkers out now. With some luck, maybe Glenn and Rick will be back soon."
Maggie was reluctant, but the thought of Glenn walking back to the prison unharmed, unbitten and safe made her consider it. Her shoulders dropped and she sighed, picking up her rifle she left on the bed. "Okay, good idea." She said before walking out, making sure to stick her tongue out at Daryl as she left. Daryl just rolled his eyes.
"You two act like children sometimes." Carol said when Maggie was out of sight.
"Nah, I just like kidding around with her." He then plopped down on the bed, laying down behind Carol and folding his arms to the back of his head. "So you two were talking about men, huh?"
Carol shoved his legs over so she could sit on the edge of the mattress better. "She did most of the talking."
"About Glenn?"
Carol nodded.
"Who did you talk about?" Daryl asked with a laugh as if the thought of Carol with anyone from group made him sick. It really didn't, but with Ed gone, it just seemed unreal. Still he was having a mental debate with himself on who it could be. Even though Ed was long dead, he knew it wouldn't have been him considering the son of a bitch spent most of their marriage beating Carol until she was black and blue. Daryl hardly knew Ed, but the thought of him alone made him cringe. He hated men like Ed, more so because Daryl was abused just as badly as Carol. The two had a lot more in common than they really thought sometimes.
Carol bit her lip and looked down, trying to hide the sudden redness in her pale cheeks.
"Well?" Daryl asked curiously, seeing how her ears suddenly got pink.
Carol was still silent, which annoyed Daryl slightly. He propped himself up on his elbows and sighed. "Okay, can I guess? Let's see…. Can't be Hershel 'cause he's way too old-"
"Daryl!" Carol said with a laugh.
The hunter smiled with a light laugh as well, "At least I'm just bein' realistic. Seriously, though, who is it?"
Carol was silent, but she just eyed the man, trying to suggest a hint. Daryl blinked in shock, the realization hitting him like a punch in the face. He then sat up completely. "Wait…Me?! It ain't me is it?"
Carol looked away. "Feel free to cuss." But Daryl was quiet… for a while actually, which was something that usually shocked everyone. Daryl was always used to doing what he was told, but in the past the littlest thing could set him off. Sometimes Carol forgot how much Daryl has changed ever since Merle disappeared. He was like a completely different person now without the influence of this older brother around. The woman opposite him quickly turned her head back to look at the hunter as if he wasn't there the whole time and she was just imagining his presents. But no, he was still there, but not a single hint of anger or shock was on his face.
"You… You're not mad?"
"Mad?" Daryl asked. For the first time his voice actually sounded soft and understanding. This was a type of tone Carol hasn't gotten a chance to hear ever since she lost her daughter. It made her smile to hear the soft side of Daryl again.
He swung his legs over the side of the bed so that he was sitting right next to her. "Why would I be mad at you?"
"Well…" She laughed softly to herself. "Never mind. You just… You changed so much, Daryl."
The hunter looked down at his legs as if thinking of what to say. He remembered just a few days ago he found Carol taking refuge in one of the storage rooms in the prison. The image of her looking up at him made his stomach turn. She looked up at him with so much fear and hurt in her eyes, that it made his heart ache. It was like losing Sophia all over again – he didn't know if he would find Carol alive, or as a walker, or worse. To be honest with himself, after Sophia died, he lost all hope in actually finding Carol at all. But when he did, he wasn't sure if it was real or not. Even now he was still unsure of the reality of it.
Finally, Daryl picked up his head, causing his eyes to lock with hers. Carol's expression softened at the pain in Daryl's eyes. "What?" She asked, sounding hurt.
Daryl swallowed hard and lifted up his hand. Carol flinched slightly on instinct. She spent most of her life trying to dodge a beating – and this wouldn't be the first time she though Daryl was going to hit her. But the man seemed to notice the sudden fear in her eyes and just slowly placed his hand on her knee. It was like he was afraid his hand would just go through air. "You're real right?"
Carol placed her hand over his and for the first time she witnessed him jump at her touch. "Daryl… I'm real. I'm really here." She tightened her hold on his hand to make sure he could feel it. He looked away again, thinking back at when he found her in that storage room. Even then he had to touch her to make sure she wasn't just a hallucination, a ghost or just another dream waiting to come true.
"Daryl…" Carol said. She has never seen this man so broken and it hurt. And for a moment, Daryl refused to look at her. He was afraid that if he picked his head up she wouldn't be there. But then he felt her squeeze his hand again. "I'm right here." He heard her say. Still he wouldn't move. "I promise. You'll see me." What if her voice was just in his head? What if he picked his eyes up and saw a walker staring him in the face? Or worse – nothing at all.
Daryl hated this. He hated feeling scared – more than anything. To Daryl, there wasn't time to be scared. You spend most of your time trying to survive you forget what fear is and how it changes you. But now he couldn't help it. He didn't know why he was so afraid of such a simple thing like this – but he was. Finally he told himself to stop being a bitch and just look up – to endure whatever meets his eyes.
After he took a soft breath in, he did. He didn't even notice his heart pounding the whole time, but even when his eyes met Carol's it only thumped faster. Right then and there he wanted to stab himself in the chest and dig out that stupid, beating organ of his. This feeling – he hated it so much.
"See?" She said. Looking at his sad, scared face made her feel small. But still she tried to keep a smile for him, even though her eyes were watering with tears. "I'm right here. I'm not leaving again."
Daryl swallowed hard as he fought back the burning behind his eyes. No, he was not crying – of all things – he refused to cry. "You say you won't leave but-"
"Daryl, stop it. I'm not leaving, okay – I'm not leaving you."
"You will. One day you will. It's just something you don't have control over. If it's not you, it'll be me. Or someone else."
"Daryl-"
"No, listen." Carol blinked. Usually when Daryl wanted to protest he had a sense of anger to his tone, like he had to shut everyone up just so he could put his own words in. Only now it was like he was a completely different person. There wasn't a hint of anger in there, but just a soft insecure voice. "I almost died trying to save your little girl, and I don't regret it." Carol just looked at him and listening to his words. "'Cause I loved Sofia – we all did, but… when I was out lookin' for her, I thought of you. If that was you out there, I would have done the same thing – whether or not you were alive or dead. Either way, I would have still died for you. When I lost you I was willing to do the same thing I did for your girl. I was gonna search for you until the day I die, but…" His voice trailed off.
"But?" Carol asked when it began to get too silent.
"But…" Daryl said at last with a sigh as if his next words pained him. "I was afraid I would find you the way we all found Sofia in that barn. If you turned and I was the only one who found you I would never be able to live with myself if I…." His voice trailed off again and he couldn't bring himself to finish that sentence. If he did find her as a walker, he would have no other choice but to take her life. The thought alone made him sick. "Before I found you I was just about ready to give up. Then-"
"You found me."
Daryl nodded. "Not in the way I thought I would…"
"What do you mean?"
"I thought you were dead, Carol. Not a walker, but I didn't think I would have found you alive."
She leaned in more, "But you did. I'm right here, Daryl."
"Yeah, but for how long? That's all Merle ever told and where is he now? For how much longer will either of us be here? I could be-"
"Enough! Stop it. What matters now is that we're here together in this moment. Maybe we won't be here tomorrow. But we are here now."
He sighed and just then he felt something wet run down his cheek. But before he could lift a hand to his face, Carol pushed it down and placed her own hand there, whipping away the stray tear that escape from his eye.
"I'm such a pussy…" Daryl muttered with a slight laugh to his tone. Carol blinked, "No. You're the bravest man I know."
"Braver than Rick?"
Carol smiled, "To me." She laughed softly, "Don't tell him I said that, though." Daryl groaned and tried to pull his head away, but Carol only forced him to look at her, not taking her hand off his face. "Don't be afraid to cry. It's okay."
"For a woman." Daryl snapped. Carol rolled her eyes with the smile still on her face. At least she got the old Daryl back, even if it was just for a second.
"I like the soft side of you." She said.
"No! I'm a mess when I'm like this."
"Not to me." Carol pulled him closer. "I think it's cute."
Daryl felt his heart pounding again. "If you're gonna kiss me, woman, do it already."
Carol tried to ignore his comment and pressed her lips to his. She moved her hand off the side of his face and placed it gently on his chest. Daryl froze for a moment, not sure what do to. Everything about this made him feel a little awkward. Instead he just wrapped his arms around her.
"You two done makin' out yet?" A voice said from the doorway.
Daryl jumped back and Carol shot her eyes open to see Rick leaning against the doorframe, arms folded across his chest.
"You son of a bitch!" Daryl shouted. Rick just smirked as he watched Carol turn bright red and turn away. He wanted to laugh at how pale Daryl suddenly got.
"When the hell did you get back and how long were you standing there?!"
"We just got back." Rick said. "So relax, I've only been standing here for a few seconds."
Daryl glared at him, "You better run."
"I have a baby to take care of anyways."
"Is Glenn okay?" Carol asked.
"Glenn is fine. He's with Maggie now, I think."
Carol stood up. "Well, I would like to see the baby." She said. "Mind if we go with you?"
"Not at all." Rick said before turning to leave.
Daryl turned to Carol who met his gaze with a soft smile. He smiled back before planting a light kiss on her cheek.
