'Another blasted nightmare' thought Adahlena as she woke up. She got up and pushed her way out of her tent, Alistair was on watch. "Can't sleep?" he asked smiling. She nodded about to say something and then, "Darkspawn!" she shouted as shrieks filled the air. That woke the whole camp up, even Morrigan who camped further off was in the middle of it.
"Lena! On your left!" Leliana shouted, she raised one of her twin daggers and stopped, "Tamlen? 'Ma'Halla wait! I can help you!" she started toward him. "No lethal'lan stay away, I don't want to hurt you." he said. Her heart broke, this was Tamlen, her best friend, the man she had loved since they were children. But it wasn't, he wasn't him anymore, his face on a black body, claws for hands. "Tamlem please... Ar lath ma 'ma vhenan" she said. He looked at her then, his beautiful face set upon the body of a shriek. "Oh vhenan, ir abelas, I should have looked harder. I should have.." she kept walking toward him, and he kept backing away.
The others were fighting the other shrieks, Alistair had just killed the last one when he heard her talking to one, "Tamlen" oh Maker, he thought. Then all of a sudden the shriek stopped backing away and attacked screaming, not yet a shriek's voice. Alistair knew what he was doing and had to watch as Lena killed her clan mate. She stabbed both blades into his chest, screaming her pain and her guilt as she did.
Lena felt herself hit her knees, she gathered Tamlen's body to her and cried, "Why did you have to touch that mirror lathal'lin? Why did you attack? Vhenan... Ir abelas." He wasn't quite gone yet, and Alistair heard the Shriek, no, Tamlen say, "I love you too" then he died.
She felt his body being pulled from her, the strong arms wrapped around her. Without thinking she leaned into them and let her heart break. She hadn't cried for Tamlen, part of her holding out hope, but now, now everything came out.
Alistair held her, through the Brecilian, and Kinloch Hold, she hadn't shown any emotion other anger at Loghain and the blight itself. She hadn't smiled, had barely joked around with any of them, and now they knew why. She had been holding this guilt since she left her Clan.
When she finally calmed, and cried out all the pain, she looked at the others. "Ir abelas, I am sorry. I know I have been unfriendly. And I am sorry."
"Not friendly? No I wouldn't say that, withdrawn, unhappy, that I would say." said Alistair, the others nodded. "You felt guilty, no?" asked Leliana. Morrigan and Sten said nothing. Wynne looked at her, "Adahlena, after all you did to reunite me with my apprentice, telling me not to feel guilty, and you have been ignoring hour own advice the whole time?" she clucked her tongue at her, and Lena hung her head. Zevran was the one to sum it up, "Non friendly? No. You have been there for every single one of us. You helped Alistair with hia grief for Duncan, and Goldanna, you helped Leli with Marjoline, Morrigan with her mother's grimoire, me stay away from the Crows. You have been there for everyone one us, learned who we are, but kept yourself separate." she looked at him but he wasn't done, "You loved him?" he asked. Lena nodded, "We were to speak to the Keeper about being bonded." she said "And then we found the cave, and the mirror, and then I became a Warden and Tamlen was gone."
Alistair stood, and helped her up, she smiled at him "Thank you." she said, "Now I suggest we move camp, I know it is dark, but, they found us once, and they will again." She looked at Alistair and he looked back at her with pride. "This Lena is why you are our leader." he said.
Within minutes, camp was packed up and the fires doused, they were on their way to a new camp. On the way Alistair dropped into step with her, "Uou alright Lena?" he asked, she nodded and put her hand in his "Yes Alistair, I hadn't let myself grieve yet and now I have. I can heal, and he is at peace. He attacked me so I would have to kill him, didn't he?" she asked, "He did Lena. He wanted to die still an elf." she nodded, "That I understand."
Once the new camp was set up Alistair came to talk to her again, "Hey, so uh, do you know what this is?" he asked holding out a rose, she smiled "You're new weapon of choice?" she joked causing him to both laugh and give her a look. "No, I found it in Lothering and I thought it was beautiful. A beautiful thing I was amazed to see it had survived the darkness and fear in that place. So, I took it, to preserve it's beauty, and because it reminded me of you." he said. "You are a rare and beautiful person Lena, I am happy that I had the pleasure of knowing you." Lena looked at him, unsure of his meaning and he pressed the rose into her hand and said his goodnights.
As Lena sat on watch she thought about what he said, and smiled. Hope blossoming in her heart, and she knew Tamlen wouldn't mind if she found love again.
