AN: Dear Reader, I want your honest opinion. Is it good, is it bad, is it too cheesy, do you like it, love it, hate it, indifferent to it, ect. Please, Dearest Reader, give me an honest opinion!
Prologue: The Hero
There was darkness, and there was chaos, and- oh look! A purple background! Anyway, in the chaotic darkness with a purple background, a silhouette holding a large crystal appeared. It was bending over the crystal. What was it looking at? Erm...
Oh, right now Pokemon are just so... boring, really. There's nothing to get their sense of adventure rising. Maybe I should get a human. The last seven times we had one were entertaining. The figure chuckled to itself, remembering the times it had had before, when there were humans in it's world. I just need to choose the right one... someone kind, and smart, and friendly, and someone who won't be missed all that much. Someone like... him! The crystal ball focused on a large, muscular teenager, surrounded by people wearing jackets of white and black. A helmet he was carrying had 'Jhoto High Football' on it, and the people were chanting "Pyro, Pyro, Pyro!". Er, wait. That's not it... Soon, the crystal ball focused on a scantily dressed teenage girl, also wearing white and black, holding two pompoms. Someone outside the scope of the ball said, "Hey, Crystal. It's almost game time. Are you ready yet?" The figure shuddered. No, definitely not. I want someone who won't be missed, you stupid ball, someone all but invisible, who doesn't WANT a spotlight! Soon, the crystal ball swerved, before ending in an abandoned library. There's no one here... now the stupid ball is malfunctioning... The sound of pages rustling caught the entity's attention, as someone sat down in one of the dusty chairs and began to read. They'll do... maybe. I want to see more.
I was caught up in the middle of my tale, a famous story about a human who became a Pokemon and saved a world filled with Pokemon from being destroyed, when my idiot jock of a brother ran in. "Yo, dude, mom wants you, like, NOW!"
I sighed, before marking my page carefully and setting the book down. "Tell her I'll be there in a second, Pyro. And can you remind Crystal to keep her skirt on, this time? Last time she came down to get me," I shuddered, just thinking about it.
"Yeah yeah yeah. Crystal's already in the car. We're just waiting on you, slowpoke. We almost left you behind again."
And nothing would have pleased me more. I could have read this book's four sequels, and stayed here for the night. And I wouldn't have to listen to you beat off in your sleep. I stood up slowly, carefully, and with a grace granted by years of practice sitting still for hours on end. Pyro ran out of the library as soon as he saw I was getting up, the less time he spent in a place with books, and the less time he was around me, the less his reputation would be damaged. I sighed again, I seem to do that a lot, and placed the book back carefully. I left quickly, because Crystal's miniskirt has a habit of falling down when she runs, and I did not want to see that again.
I got to the car in five minutes, to see that the rest of my family was already there. Crystal shrieked when she saw me covered in dust, and immediately traded places with my oldest brother, Redd. Redd switched with Blue, Blue traded with Green, and Green crammed in the back of the car with everyone else. My father sighed, before starting to drive. We were five minutes away from home when Dad stopped the car. He sneezed violently, and turned to me. "Hey, John, can you walk the rest of the way home?"
My mother slapped him in the back of the head. "Satoshi!"
"It's just my allergies are starting to act up." He sneezed again, and again, and a few dozen more times before Mom got worried about his asthma. I sighed again, before opening the car door and getting out, bringing a small cloud of dust with me. I left the car door open for a few minutes, letting the wind blow out all of the dust, before shutting it and walking home. I made it about halfway there, when I saw a bright light, and then darkness covered my vision.
I woke, for lack of a better word, in a place filled with both darkness and chaos. And there was this oddly shifting background, that seemed to be mainly shades of purple. I rubbed my forehead, wondering why this seemed so very familiar.
"Hello, John!" something said excitedly, in a voice that resounded all across the darkness. "You're about to enter the wonderful world of Pokemon, a place where only Pokemon live. But first, you have to answer a few questions, okay?"
So that's why this place looks so familiar... "Hello, mysterious disembodied voice. Is this anything like the Mystery Dungeon books I read?"
"Erm... well, yes, kind of."
"That explains a lot then."
"...It does?"
"Yes. For example, the changing background, the oppressively chaotic darkness, the disembodied voice, why my life sounds like something out of a bad fan fiction..."
"Your life is like something out of a bad fan fiction? Interesting..."
"Wait. You mean you didn't know that?"
"No, I just wanted to make sure you were kind, friendly, nice, and that no one would miss you if you suddenly turned evil, died, or decided to stay."
"...And how long were you watching me?"
"About an hour. Anyway, back to the personality test. What kind of person do you see yourself as?"
"I'm intelligent, though not particularly strong, I prefer the truth over friendship. People say that I'm a bit too brutal, to be honest. I would rather read than talk to people, even-or especially- my closest friends, not that I have any. I've always been a bit of an outsider, ignored by everyone and everything, though always observant. I can dance the social ladder up and down, I just don't want to. I'm loyal to the things I enjoy, and loyal to the people whose company I enjoy, but my trust takes a lot to earn, and even more to earn back. I've got a bit of a temper, and I don't cool down all that often."
"Anything else you can think of to make your placement even more difficult?"
"Um... no, I don't think so. I mentioned that I'm bookish, and I mentioned that I'm not particularly shy, I just don't like people. Oh, did I mention that I was anti-social?"
"In a way."
"Then no."
"..." I heard some pages ruffling in the darkness. "Aw screw this book! It's not helpful in the slightest. I dub thee of the psychic group. Now, do you prefer the mind, the spirit, or the heart?"
"Mind."
"Psychic type then." The background changed color, becoming a vibrant violet, before a picture frame showed up. "Now, all you have to do is make a wish for what basic psychic type you want to be. Then, you'll become that type. Any questions before you go?"
"Am I going to lose my memory?"
"No. Not since you're a psychic type, no. Can't do that, unfortunately. Just... try to seem a bit out of it when you first realize where you are, please."
"Okay. Oh, and Mew?"
"Yes?"
"The purple background should be a different color. Oh, and when someone asks you if they know who you are, say 'No'. Don't want you to lose your job."
Mew smacked himself in the head with his tail. "Arceus blast it, I fell for it! At least it's only the first time... have a good time, John."
