A/N: Thanks to rebeccavoy you gem of a Beta. I've never done a 'song fic' but this is my attempt at The Closest Thing To Crazy by Katie Melua. I own neither the song nor the characters


Being close to you.

Myka leant on her arm and watched as the early morning light crept across the face of her lover.

Lover.

She had tried for weeks now to give what she had with Helena a name, 'girlfriend' implied a level of emotional attachment that worked both ways, and while Myka could certainly be sure that it worked her way, she couldn't be so sure that those affections were returned. She wasn't entirely sure if Helena could feel, well, anything, never mind this all-encompassing, completely soul wrenching love that she felt.

She sighed and decided that she must be a masochist. She saw no other reasonable explanation for getting herself in such deep waters with no ability to swim.

A single thought seemed have been running round her head for the past couple of night. Why did I fall in love with you? But she tried to ignore the question. There leads the way to craziness.

Helena began to stir. Myka adored watching the woman wake, able to see how the natural intelligence and sharp wit were dulled by the sleep within her eyes. Helena turned over and slung an arm over Myka's hip, burrowing closer into the body heat.

Slowly laying back down carefully, Myka gently rearranged herself so she was staring at the ceiling. With Helena's even breath caressing her collarbone she allowed her eyes to close and imagined a perfect world. One where there would be no awkwardness because Helena hadn't left after they'd finished last night. One where Helena wouldn't try and leave without waking her up. One where she could actually spend a lazy morning in bed with the woman she loved.

However, minutes later Helena was waking up and leaving, allowing Myka to have one final bereft thought.

I can deal with being crazy, if it means being close to you.