Sometimes I wish I had never met you, because then I could go to sleep at night not knowing there was someone like you out there.
-Good Will Hunting
"We shouldn't do this," she whispered and her voice floated in the darkness.
His eyes glittered in the pale moonlight that seeped in through the windows. She could see the shape of his perfectly straight nose.
The shadows made his face look darker and pronounced his beautiful features. The strong cheek bones and hard jaw. The way his lips curved in the devil's smile.
"All the more reason we should," he breathed barely making a sound but flashing a smile that made her stomach flip.
His lips dipped down to capture hers once more but she turned her head and his lips touched her cheek. The instant he touched her she was aflame. Every part of her burned. She wanted more.
"No! It's not! We can't," she said and pushed him away quickly
She pushed off the wall she had been leaning against and walked past him. His scent was all around him.
She felt a shiver run down her spine slowly.
She walked toward the open French doors. The cool breeze floated into the room and made the curtains flutter. She stepped out into the balcony and leaned against the railing.
Everything was so wrong in her life.
Everything was so complicated.
Her heart and mind fought a constant war and when one seemed to gain the upper hand she was reminded why she was in this situation and it was back to constant fighting. She let her head down.
She heard his silent footsteps walk onto the balcony.
"I know this is, more confusing than anyone would expect, but Bella you have to understand, if I could stop. If I could know what the right choice was…I would do it," he whispered and his soft velvety seemed to melt into the dark night.
She raised her head and stared at him.
"Will this ever be right? Why do we torture ourselves? Surely we can't go anywhere. We can't—" she was cut off when he suddenly captured her lips with a kiss.
It was soft and slow and she felt her lips move with his. The molded together. He pulled away slowly breaking the kiss. He placed his forehead against her.
She could feel his hands on the back of her neck. His thumb slowly wiped a tear away from her cheek.
She hadn't even known she'd been crying.
"Don't…Don't say things like that, Bella. I know what we have is the farthest thing from perfect and we probably hurt more from it than enjoy it, but I couldn't imagine life another way. I couldn't imagine me without you and to hear that you could…it kills me," he breathed.
She could feel his hurt.
"That's the problem. I can't and it scares me. Dammit Edward for the first time, I don't know what to do. I'm so confused," she told him.
He sighed and let her go. He leaned onto the railing and let his head hang back as he stared at the dark cloudy sky.
"You ever think that this is the way it's supposed to be? That it was fate's way of saying it just has to end?" he asked and brought his eyes down to meet hers.
"What do you mean," she asked.
"I mean…" he trailed off and turned around to face her. He wrapped his arms around her waist and brought her close. Her face flushed and he gently ran his fingers over her cheek.
He brought his fingers under her chin. Slowly he placed his lips on hers and what started out slow quickly became a battle. Their mouths opened and she felt her tongue explore him.
She ran her hands through his hair and felt her heart race. Her body burned.
She knew what he meant then.
There would be no other living soul to make her feel this way. To make her feel the very way she did right now.
It simply wasn't possible.
They belonged together.
She couldn't possible imagine being as happy as she was with this very man. It didn't matter that she hurt when he was with her, because the highs of their very confusing relationship was enough to make it all worthwhile.
But even so, the choice still seemed to haunt her.
She had the hardest choice in her hands because she knew she had to pick one and only one.
She couldn't have both.
Edward or her family?
How could fate be so cruel?
She felt the tears well up and slip down her flushed cheeks. Edward pulled away and looked at her with worried eyes.
"I can't choose. I don't want to. It hurts too much," she sobbed.
He looked at her for a moment. He once again released her and took a few steps backward. Her words made sense to him. She knew.
The moment he was gone she felt cold and incomplete. She never knew one man could have such an effect on her, but he did.
"I love you, too much to ever make you. I'm not forcing you to stay with me," he said.
Her head snapped up to meet his glittering eyes.
He told her, he loved her.
He loved her.
He had never directly spoken that to her. She knew he did, but to hear it for the very first time from his lips, from his voice, it brought a sense of joy. She could only stare at him.
She could feel herself smile.
Everything suddenly didn't matter to her.
She still didn't know what to choose or which was the better one. The one true love, or her loving family, but she didn't think she could ever make the choice because she couldn't live without either of them
The both were so important to her; to have them both would be a fairy tale.
She stared in his eyes hoping that perhaps the answer was there. All she could see was the fear that she might leave and the love he had for her.
But suddenly the choice seemed less pressuring and hurtful.
"I can't force myself to leave," she said took the steps that brought her closer to him.
- - -
Okay so this is short, but hey it's just a prologue. It's also the first time I've ever done a prologue because I don't really like being tied down to a certain plot or story line, but I feel this story needs one.
Anyway I would love to hear all your amazing thoughts on this and since the next chapter is already finished I promise to update ASAP, but only if you bless me with reviews!!
Twilightholic-Tanya
