Caitlin had looked at someone like that once too. It felt like it was ages ago. It hadn't even been that long. It felt like that had been a different person, a different her. That Caitlin had been funny, happy and hadn't hovered or worried too much. Not like she did now, anyway. For a while it had felt like that person was gone forever, that she died with all these other people, that she died with Ronny, but recently it had felt like even though she might never be exactly the same again she definitely wasn't gone forever. Cisco had said she seemed happier of late, more like the old Caitlin, that he had seen her more and more often since Barry had woken up. She hadn't reacted to what he was implicating. It was still too soon for her to think like that. She wasn't ready to feel like that for now, maybe never. She wasn't sure if it was possible to move on from the person you looked at like that. That person that lit up the room for you, that person you knew, in your heart you wanted to light up the world for.
"You do." Oliver said quietly beside her. She jumped. She hadn't noticed him leaving the group, and hadn't realized she had said all that out loud.
"If you really want to, you can. But it seems to me you don't really want to."
"I shouldn't have to." Caitlin whispered.
"No matter what, some part of you will always belong to him. That's just something you have to learn to deal with." She saw him look at Felicity. "Nothing you can do about that."
She could see the want and longing in his eyes.
"But you can." She said. "So why don't you, Oliver?" His eyes darkened and he looked away.
"It's complicated. I don't deserve her." Caitlin looked at him and saw the pain in his eyes, and remembered the fear in Felicity's voice during Oliver's and Barry's fight earlier, and she felt anger surge through her. Because he had the chance to have something she would kill to have another day of and he pushed it away and chose to drown in self-loathing instead.
"You know, all I see is that she doesn't care. She doesn't care, Oliver. She doesn't want anything or anyone "better", she wants you. But she's an independent woman, and she won't wait for you forever. Life's too short to push her away because you're too stupid to see that. Otherwise, you'll regret it someday." She said fast, and even in her ears her voice sounded artificial and higher than usual. She quickly rubbed her eyes once to make sure they weren't doing anything stupid as tearing up, then looked at Oliver expectantly. He had a sad smile on his face. His voice was resigned as he said: "She already has moved on, Caitlin. She deserves to be happy. That's all I ever wanted for her." Caitlin shook her head.
"Look, Oliver I know you think you have this all figured out but let me tell you from experience whatever you think you know about how Felicity is feeling and what's good for her and when she's planning to move on, you're wrong. Because the way she looks at you, or talks about you sure as hell doesn't look like someone who has got purely platonic feelings for you."
She shook her head, and than said tiredly: "And god what wouldn't I give to have someone look at me like that again."
