The disclaimer:

Pokemon is © Nintendo 1994-2003 and lots of years after that.

Sneaker is not mine, he's Jacob's, © someyear.

Big hand to Sneaker also for converting this transcript from IRC log into something you can actually read. I owe you one. :D

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The Meowth stared at the statue.. turning some ideas over in his head. And quickly realising that there could only be one thing he really wanted to say to this. "I want.. the world!" he spoke, taking a crescendo at the end. "I want people to obey me; I want everybody to do as I say. Whether they're able to or not. Whether it kills them or not, even. I want loyalty, I want power, and.. I'd like it right now, please."

To which the voice responded. "Hey, I said ONE thing."

"Well, can you get all that into one thing then?" Sneaker said. "Because that's what I want."

The voice fell silent then. A nice, deathly silence; enough for a small bit of rock to fall from the ceiling, and make a nice hollow sounding 'thud' noise.. atop the catmorph's head. "Ow!" was the breaking of the silence.. before the voice spoke again. "Yeah, I can make this work. I'll just add to it, though, and you tell me if there's anything you don't want."

*Wow, that was easy. I don't even have to think about this now.* was the consideration, before he just.. nodded, ignoring his resounding head pain, and the ringing in his ears. "Just don't be stupid."

"You would like to be.. idolised. People will do what they say purely because you said do it. It doesn't matter what they think, they could care less about themselves. It's all you."

"They do anyway?" Sneaker offered, before another rock landed on his head, and he went quiet again.

"You would like to be adored by the masses. They fall over themselves in their adoration and it becomes easy to make things happen in your name." came the voice, and Sneaker wondered about part of it. "Sounds soppy. Can't I gain evil demon powers and just make them all fear me instead? That sounds much better to me."

"Name the last overlord you know of that was ousted because everybody liked his attitude."

Sneaker couldn't find a way around that.. but he still wanted to have powers beyond all that this was going towards, so he considered. "But nobody will ever like my attitude! I'm repugnant! I try to be! If I wasn't I'd be upset!"

"I noticed." cane the flat reply. "I can't do anything about that; I'm only an omnipotent deity. I'm not THAT good."

Sneaker felt a notch prouder, and another falling rock made his head hurt that little bit more. "But I can make people not see it. Which would help you, really; you could be horribly evil to them and they'd come back for more."

"Where do I sign." was the immediate response.

"Thought so. Anyway, just wait there. I'll go off and do some insanely powerful godly power stuff, and then I'll get back to you. I'm sure you can find something to do." And then the voice went quiet, and Sneaker thought maybe he should be good and wait soundlessly. Of course, we know how long that thought lasted, before the cat started himself a little wailing song to pass the time.

The ceiling caved in on him, rightfully too; and little Sneaker went to sleep for a while. ....

***

It was a bright and sunny day. Birds were chirping. The sky was bluer than itself and completely devoid of any cloud. Sneaker, like so many other people, realised that such a day means one thing; everybody is having a good time. Therefore, it is his role.. no, his DUTY.. to provide a source of annoyance, to maintain the balance of all things. He was very good at this.

While kicking dirt at the passing rattata along the forest path wasn't quite as good as kicking sand at the kids that were on the beach - it generally got him less problems from ten-foot Charizard morphs that didn't like it when Sneaker was doing his extremely important job. But then, his blackened and slightly smouldering clothes could be rebought. Or restolen. And his fur would eventually grow back, and become the right colour again. He hoped.

A few of the rattatas didn't like him doing this, however, and a crowd of them had come up behind him, composed of now slightly dirty and bedraggled little rodents that saw nothing better than to mass up and wait until they felt confident enough to go and fell a morph, and a catmorph at the very least. And Sneaker was at the very least, but they didn't know that.

"I don't know why you lot are following me, I mean if you really want me to beat you all up, I'll oblige, but you don't want that. Just go on your way." Sneaker would say, and each kick brought more to the fold, and he could actually hear their collective breathing, which was really unnerving, but he didn't show it yet.

Half an hour passed before it really did irritate him, and he turned around, and went to begin speech. "Ok, that's it. Will you all please shuuuuhuuu ohh wow." One could visibly see his face drop as every square inch of the place was filled with an upset rodent. They definitely saw it.

And whatever intuition Sneaker had... acted, and he starting running in the other direction; the wave, and that's what it -was-, followed him. Oh, how they followed. And they were faster than the cat, as well, which meant the first lappings of the wave were biting attacks on his feet, most of which were missing, luckily for him.

"Haha! Run while you still can, rodents!" Sneaker somehow had the gall to say; they were running, sure.. but they were chasing HIM. .. How dare they chase him? A spark of insanity took him, and he stopped, and turned. "How dare you all-" He never finished the sentence, because the ground gave way under him.

Sneaker was lucky, because not only did his falling take him out of the way, but the hole collapsed on itself, sealing up the entrance to wherever he'd got to. He had been saved. No, wait. "You're safe for now! But I will get you some day! And then... ohh, you will learn to know pain." he said, failing miserably at the dark and evil tone of voice required.

Still. He had to get out of here and hide- er, refind those blasted rodents, all one hundred thousand million of them-.. and there was only one way he could go, so that's the way he went. It was dark, and narrow, and it smelled.. much like Sneaker, in fact; which was the main lure of the place, in all honesty.

Dirt-caked feet padded down this completely foreboding tunnel, but Sneaker was sure there was a light up here somewhere, because.. well, there had to be. He hadn't fallen all -that- far. There was a light, way ahead, but it was approaching him, and this was good.

From a short distance away, he could see in; the room was very small, and all it contained was a marble statue. Just a simple figure shaped to look like a rather large Butterfree, but -it- was the source of light. Dim light, but.. he picked it up just fine. "Someone needs to come here and change the lightbulb.." he queried.

"You don't find it adequate?" said a voice, before everything went completely white, and Sneaker shut and covered his eyes. "Hey! It's just fine! But I can tell what dim light is, you dope! Even if I could care less!"

Everything went dark again, and he had to readjust to the dimness.. a rather easy task for such a skillful cat. The world would learn to fear it someday. "You're a statue. " Sneaker said, after a short while. "And statues don't speak."

"Maybe I'm not a statue." said the statue. "I could be an all-powerful god that just fancies sitting down here and waiting for the world to end."

Sneaker laughed. "Get REAL. I'm looking at a statue, therefore that's what you are."

"I'm looking at a worthless waste of my time. That's what -you- are."

"I try my best." Sneaker said, rubbing his hand against his chest in that offbeat way that people do.

To which the statue.. laughed. Of all the beings in the world Sneaker could have found.. he found this one. "That's good! You don't like people much. They don't like you. They're not worth liking!"

"I'm not worth liking." Sneaker said. "And if you think otherwise I might just have to come inside that statue of yours and beat you up."

The laughter turned to snorting of a sort. Still funny, though. "Hah! No, you have some guts. That's what this world needs, people that can sit back and go "F--- you! I'm going to piss off as many people as I can before I die." Keeps the world interesting. Tell you what, I'm going to give you something."

Sneaker stared. This.. statue, or whatever.. it actually respected -him-? He was worth something to someone..? Finally! He had won! But.. this thing was one being. And it was.. well, it had power. It told him that. "Anything?"

"But not everything. I know what you need.. do you?"

It was at this point in the dream that the walls started spinning, and the statue turned into a pink flamingo and started singing the Hamster Dance, and Sneaker realised he was dreaming this, and woke up.. to find himself under a pile of rubble. Which didn't matter, since he'd reached the end of his flashback.

"You should probably get yourself out of that rubble now. Can't be good for your back."

"'S okay. I can always steal someone else's." Sneaker said, shifting small bits off him, and standing up.. somewhat dazed, but still alive.

The walls were rotating in a left direction, and in the centre was a pink flamingo statue.. that was busy singing the Hamster Dance. And doing a pretty good job of it, too. "Dee da-dee da dee-dee do-doo.."

"Am I still asleep?" Sneaker wondered, placing a finger in each ear, and turning around him.. just to check. The exit was.. well, it was moving. Not good.

"Nope. I'm just messing with your head." the statue said, as the world returned to normal, and the statue to its normal marble butterfree look. "I finished what you asked for, anyway."

Sneaker, being that he had a finger in each ear, didn't hear this. "Wha?" he asked, now freeing up his ears. "I finished your object! It's a good job, I hope, and it does everything we wanted it to."

A flash of light made an object appear suspended in the air, between Sneaker and the statue. It formed in shape.. a rounded base, on a neck cord, mostly metal.. Sneaker identified it. "It's a cat bell?"

"It's a cat bell. A special one, though." It finished forming.. the metal was a dark red and the cord itself, green. Black shine. Quite a nice piece of work, but Sneaker would look rather odd in it, he thought.. "So.. how does this work."

"You put it on. It's simple. While you wear it, you can do everything in your wish. People will obey you, and the world is yours. What's beautiful is its simplicity, and the fact it doesn't really prey on too much magic to work.. but you won't appreciate this, since you're a pleb."

"Is that good?" Sneaker wondered.

"Take it. It is my gift to you, as a member of this planet that's more entertaining than a bad case of explosive diarrhoea." So Sneaker plucked the bell from the air. "Gee, thanks, I think."

"Now, I'm going to put you back on top. I saved you the trouble of killing all those rattata so you can get away from here and go try out your new toy. I turned them all into dead things. I think maybe it's a nice place for the new Ruler Of World to come from, but that's just me." said the statue.

Sneaker nodded.. and everything went to white again. The pain was obvious, but the god left him there.

Eventually Sneaker ended back up on top.. amidst pools of red. Bits of grey matter and organic decay were just littered in a wide area.. red on every tree, every leaf, over every piece of ground. On Sneaker's feet now, even. Whatever and whoever that guy was.. he was not messing when he said he did this. "I think I like this guy." Sneaker conceded.. after a number of minutes of dumbfounded staring at all the gore.

Sneaker eventually was upset at not finding a deep enough pool of red to try his hand at swimming, and thus left the wasted forest.. taking care to wind by the beach on his way, so that his bloodstained feet wouldn't look quite too obvious; this time it really -wasn't- his doing.

***

The sun cooked the sand to a nice golden brown as Sneaker walked over it.. taking his steps lightly, going right by the water, and leaving a trail of dispersing red. A slight smirk of wonderment dressed his face has he turned the cat bell in his hands, trying to examine it properly, and to ignore the feeling of wet sand underfoot which he -hated-. "Well.. it doesn't look anything out of the ordinary...

.. then again, I don't imagine these things would do, really." was the remark. Strangely senseful, although the temptation to put it on rather than just look and comment was great. However.. now was not the time. That, and the mere idea of fantastic power made him really nervous, because everybody with the evil-type power in action movies failed and died. Was that really for him?

Still, he wondered. That Charizard had noticed him.. but since Sneaker wasn't being overly annoying, apart from masking out the not-so-high sun from a few sunbathers (accidental, Sneaker noted; such a pity. If he was trying, he'd have an umbrella.) and so he was left alone. The cat nodded. Good. It wouldn't do to awaken the new Head Honcho in front of someone so obviously undeserving.

That, and.. if it didn't work, he'd get beaten up again. Not going through that again.

More thoughtfulness took Sneaker inland.. he cutting a path through as many sandcastles as he could.. but being prepared to run at the end, since the firetype had noticed this most certainly. But he was fast.. and he'd got off the beach before anything bad could possibly happen.

However.. Sneaker had wandered into a temple. "How fitting.." Sneaker said, under his breath. The place was populated slightly. The place had AC, of course it was. But most people were sitting about, and nobody was ten feet tall. Perfect. "Can I have your attention please!" he shouted.. before a boot thrown by someone hit him something fierce upside the head, and he fell over.

"It's too hot for your comments right now." said the culprit of the boot.. a rather unstocky Raichu-morph, with a nasty scar and a tail that did better as a walkmat than the discharging limb it was meant to be... Sneaker couldn't place the guy, but it wasn't his business. Old morphs were nasty by nature. It almost impressed him.. sometimes.

Okay, so Sneaker's big emergence wouldn't be like that.. It'd be subtle. Stylish. So unlike him it's really stupid. But.. this is how he fancied playing it. Cat bell in hand, he silently.. that is, hitting everybody lining the pew.. wandered down an aisle. To find someone to take as his first victim...

.. Aha. A Raticate male was sitting, legs over a pew. Out of place in the temple - the Zapdos one, out of convenience - but then the place had AC, as was mentioned, and nobody could give a damn. "Hey you.." Sneaker said. "Actually, wait a minute." And behind a pillar he hopped a second. The rodent looked up.. and shrugged. "Eh?"

So, here it went. "I should put this on first, I guess." Sneaker thought. As, shrugging, he examined the bell one last time.. and, so as to avoid all the tension that could be strung onto this moment.. he put the bell on. And instantly fell over, a tight and somewhat painful burning nicely rife in his system. He couldn't avoid shouting, really.

As a number of things went around at the same time.. so they did; the world spun about, the ground shifted under him, the world grew about him, the floor took a new stop, and the pillar.. didn't move, it being a pillar. He moved quite a bit, folling along the floor, paying no attention to anything and anyone.Well, anything that wasn't himself and whatever this was. He had been deceived, that was it.

Pop, the image diluted and he was back to being perfectly unpained. A brief appearance, that had the whole room silent.. though that was obvious; he'd been screaming like a loon. However, things were murmured, and chatting began again. That's the part Sneaker didn't get.

*It's a wonder nobody came over..* he thought. He shifted his hands forward in front of him and lefted himself up.. onto his feet. And stared a little, for those were small hands. Black ones, even. And his clothes were a quiet roan and weren't even burned. But the hands.. wiry fur, black. He didn't like them. What did his colour have to do with anything..?

Then another thing was obvious. The pew was not quite as low as he saw it last. And he yelped a little, before just quietly thinking and wondering..

*I'm.. tiny. Hi people, I'm the ten year old bundle of annoyance, hide your teenagers and watch your car tyres.. I can't do anything like THIS.*

Surprisingly, he took this rather well, even though he wanted to promptly shout and make everybody notice. Hidden side effects..

The Raticate had finally took the initiative. Nobody else really wondered.. They'd looked over. Just a kid being silly. Whose folks would take care of that.. eventually. So, he got up, and looked about. That other guy had cleared pretty quick.. not surprising. He didn't look the sort to deal with this. "Hey.. Something up?"

Sneaker eyed. It was that guy again. He was not in the mood to deal with a few things right about now, so, he said so. "Leave me alone. It's not a good day." said the high pitched voice. Still catlike, and that's all Sneaker could find solace in. What EXACTLY was the aim of all this..? But he didn't know that this hadn't been fully realised yet..

"Yeah well, you're disturbing everyone, miss. Whether they'll say anything or not."

Da. "Say what...?"

"I said your shouting is making everyone annoyed. Shouldn't you be in like.. school, or something?"

"No, I don't mean that, dummy. You called me miss."

"You're a funny one." And he went away... at which point Sneaker ran as fast as the carpet would make possible. To some place where they had water.. such as the font at the front of the hall, next to the big looming statue. Hopping over the edge, where.. equally wiry hair trailed in. Mmhmm, the guy was right. And Sneaker.. 'she'.. was stuffed.

And the string of expletives thereafter made four people faint, and defiantly halted all noise, before the young cat just... plummeted from her spot, with a rather dull, hollow, and badly sounded, *thud*.

To which the Raticate - he'd talked to her, he was now associated with her in the loosest possible way - wandered over. "Hey.. are you okay? There anything I can do for you..?"

Eyes wide open. Of course! Whatever it had done, whatever she, he, it, them, whatever the heck pronoun.. was.. This was what was promised! "Yeah. I want you to bend down and lick my feet clean." she said.

".. Are you sure?" he said, questioningly.

"I said it." she goes. "Now do iiiiit."

The handy little powers of that bell hopped in here.. suddenly his perception of things altered, and down got the rodent, and with that tongue, started cleaning the feet of Sneaker.. and it tickled, but she was staring just intently. And then it hit her in the head. Like a brick from a ceiling.

Holy..

"If there's one type of being in a world most likely to have their words obeyed fully.. who is it? It's a young girl! Young enough to do things that nobody really cares about.. and yet.. old enough to make a noise when not getting 'her own way'.. .." Sneaker shrugged. "Someone like that with my attitude. This world is mine."

The Raticate continued. "You know, you can tell me to stop any time."

"I could, couldn't I."

The possibilities rolled their way into thoughts, and she just decided to sit there and let this guy clean off her feet. This might not be quite -AS- bad... but still.. He could always take it off, could he not?

"Hey.. Are you lost or something?" called a random voice from behind her. "I can go find someone for you.."

"I was told to wait here." she said. "If you don't mind buying me a few boxes of pizza and bringing them in dressed like a slice of pepperoni.. could you?"

"... That's a tall order. Nah, I don't think I could do that. But I think.. maybe someone else will. Yeah, someone else. I'll go get the person that will." And off he went.. thinking.. Wow, wouldn't -this- be a nice surprise for the little girl? Surely that was worth something?

Sneaker already knew this, of course. u.u Success was guaranteed. The cackle was reduced to a giggle, but.. it still meant the same thing, and the temple echoed it rather nicely.

***

Around nine hours later, the Temple was less full. The Raticate was still here - Sneaker found that intriguing - her feet were cleaner than the plate she'd eat off. "You can stop now." she said. And he did. And he walked out, not saying a word.. nor pulling his tongue back into his mouth.

And it dawned on Sneaker.. right there. The bell decided it was time to let her cope on her own.

*By the way, you're not yourself any more. In fact you're female, small, black, suggestive.. and you're cute, too.*

"Is this really what I asked for?" she wondered, aloud, to the bell. "I mean.. I have to grow up again. From the other side! I'm going to be traumatised forever!"

*So what else is new. You get beaten up daily. Traumatic?*

"You have no say in this. Be quiet."

The dark bothered her, and it was pretty dark. It never bothered the late, great, Sneaker before. "But I liked me. I worshipped me. I adored me. I like me. I love me. I want me back."

*Ah, don't be such a wuss.*

"How old am I physically? Don't I have the RIGHT to be one?"

*No. No, you don't. Because you're still you. You can love this you, instead. It's very easy to do. She has cat ears. Me-yow.*

"Um.. So did I?"

*... You talk too much.*

And the bell went silent there. Sneaker decided that.. well, she'd sleep here tonight. Even if she could tell the bloodthirsty axe murderers to go annihilate themselves, and they'd obey.. it didn't feel right. "Can't I just take this off?"

No answer. If she did that, maybe she'd not be able to put it back on again. No, the world was too near.. and she'd have to learn to get along. She'd get by... And besides....

"I wonder if I get my old self back as a reward for taking the world. Wow, my old self is the grand prize in something like that. I feel special now! Thanks mister!"

This mental state needs to go into remission, thought she. Before thoughts turned to jelly and pink flamingos. Sleeeep.