Title: The Drink

Genre: General/Humor

Couple: Jack+Elizabeth, implied Elizabeth/Will

Summary: Jack and Elizabeth have a moment - of the snarky sort.

Notes: Probably screws canon over and holds a shotgun to its head. Poor, undeserving canon. Potential OOC ahead, as always, and related (possibly - just a wee bit) to Amusement (Jack+Elizabeth introspective fic of the kinda-maybe-not-really-hi-how-ya-doin' variety). I need to write a Will fic, don't I? Anyway. No point whatsoever; has no relevance at all. Heh. Or so I'd like you to think...

--

--

"And what the hell are you doin' then?" he asked, raising an eyebrow and giving her a rather patronizing look. His attempt failed remarkably, and she merely raised her own eyebrow in an eloquent, and very chilly, retort; he narrowed his dark eyes, then turned away from her to take a swig from the bottle of whiskey. God bless strange crates in small holds, and the blessed, delicious alcohols contained therein.

"I might think to ask what you are doing, Jack," she stressed the syllable on purpose, making it clear she was not going to think of him as a captain, "were it not that you are, once again, drinking. In a few minutes, I expect you'll be off to see if you can fly." She gave him a smile, though, and waved a fisted hand at him; he stared, hard, at her for a moment, having found fists being waved at him usually meant he was being damned or about to be clocked.

She doesn't have the balls, he thought with a smirk, and ignored her to take another swig of the whiskey. It was not half as strong as he would have liked, far too soft and probably the sort a wealthy girl would prefer, but it was still a drink; in the end, all that mattered was getting drunk and a bit of feminine attention, in better situations than this. Hopefully without the prudish and frighteningly violent governor's daughter. Christ in heaven, were she a man, he'd no doubts she would be heading off a crew of her own.

"Hullo, Jack," she said, sardonic, and he glared at her over the bottle's rim; ruining a good man's solace with his drink, she was, and none too happy about it was he. "You lazy mop-about pirate, I haven't been shaking my fist at you for nothing." She crinkled her nose at him, more out of a friendly gesture of teasing than an affronted woman's nonverbal "good God, Mary and Joseph, when did you last wash that shirt of yours?" Elizabeth opened her hand, with a pointed smile, and revealed to light a large gilt ring that looked as though it had been stepped on a few times.

"Found a ring on the deck earlier today," she explained, lifting it delicately with her fingers, "and since Will is not the sort to prance about in braids and rings, and I certainly haven't got my jewelry-box with me, I thought the odds were in your favor." She waited for a moment as he continued staring - he could feel a nasty grin tugging at the corners of his mouth as her nostrils flared delicately - and her mouth tightened. Do a kind deed, she thought sulkily, and the man pretends he can't understand a word I speak.

"Trade off, love," he said, interrupting her thoughts; waggled the bottle in front of her in a wholly mocking manner, and earned a glare in reply. "So be it, then," shrugged Jack, and he hooked the opened bottle - damn cork, where'd it bloody take itself off to? - under his arm. With a cheeky smile, knowing full well he was giving the sort of expression a smug cat would wear around a mouse, he held his now bereft hand out; moonlight lit the lengths of his browned fingers and the old, deep callouses lining the fleshy pads and inner knuckles.

Gingerly, and with a sarcastic expression, she dropped the ring in his hand, making sure not to touch him. She had certainly been touched by Jack Sparrow enough for two lifetimes, and that was all she needed. "I stepped on it, though," she said inanely, pointing to the dirt smudges. "I hadn't spotted it 'til right before my foot came on top of the ring."

"It'll clean up nice and quick," he said gruffly, and lifting his faded shirttail, rubbed at the metal in fast motions. "Hardly a bit o' trouble innit, love," and he held it up to the moonlight to judge with a narrowed eye and thoughtful mouth; the bottle still clutched under his arm slipped a notch, and his concentration on the ring broke. "Damn, 'bout to lose me whiskey," he muttered, and lowered his arm, shifting the bottle about more securely. "No use for the ring, in any case."

Elizabeth stepped back as his hand moved swiftly out toward her, lifting her arms in preparation to crack him in the face or whatever she might find need to do. He grinned sneakily at her, pinning the ring between forefinger and thumb and twirling it in semicircle swooshes in front of her nose. Miffed, she glared at him again.

"Don't you want it?" he asked, and she thought she saw puzzlement in his eyes. "You bloody women practically kill one another for gems and gold, don't you; so take the damned thing." He jabbed his hand out again and, reluctantly and with a suspicious glance, she carefully took the ring from his hand. "See, then? Weren't nothing but a charm to do, was it?" A mock-salute was granted her, his smile jaunty and mocking as the few coins in his braids jangled, the whiskey bottle coming back to his pursing, whiskered lips.

"I've seen more men do foolish things in pursuit of treasure, Captain Jack-the-pirate," she retorted, and fitting the ring on her thumb where it more or less fit, stalked off to find Will.

--

--

Feedback: Haven't got the money to afford the support services, so reviews are the only way I know people are reading. ;] Hint-hint, anyone?

Disclaimer: Jack, Elizabeth, and Will are not owned by me, as you could surely guess, but are the property of Disney-the-Evil-Yet-Lovable-Empire. And so on.