A/N: So, here's the scoop. I recently got my student loan money, so I bought seasons 1-4 of yu yu hakusho. I watched them. And the movies. YYH is my 2nd fave anime, the first being FMA. Anyways it was even better than I remember it. And the obviousness of the Hiei/Kurama pairing was just as obvious as I remember it. So, re-watching gave me the HUGEST craving to read fanfic on the pair. A week later I've read over 100 fanfics, most of which were sadly oneshots. There's not much GOOD fiction out there on those two, and a lot has been abandoned years ago. Due to this tragedy, and the million and 2 plot-bunnies running rampant in my head, I've decided to begin my own fic. Plus, Yoriana (my muse) has beaten me into submission and if I don't run with her ideas now she may leave me for good. Why waste the creativity while it's here?

Disclaimer: Don't own YYH, though I really wish I owned Hiei and Kurama. I also don't own the song title or lyrics for Crawling in The Dark. Hoobastank owns them. I think. Or else they're public domain now. Not sure. All I own are my 4 seasons of YYH that I bought at Best Buy. Don't sue me, cause you'll never find them. –shifty eyes-

WARNING: The rating won't be met until much later cause it takes awhile for me to get my stories underway. Spoilers. This is YAOI. Meaning boy/boy love. Get over it. If you have a problem with homosexuality, now is your chance to leave. Flames will be used to keep me warm, it's 16 degrees out and all I have is an electric heater which doesn't do much for warmth. Also, there will be language, graphic violence, and possibly rape and/or self-mutilation in the future though I haven't decided yet. This story will have PLOT. So if you're hoping this is a quick get them together and watch them make-out sort of fic, turn back now. I plan on spending the proper amount of time to get them together, and there will be angst as well as fluff. There will be obstacles. And there will be at least one person close to the pair who is homophobic and who will cause problems. Guess who if you want. Not to mention there will be problems with Hiei's emotions (seeing as that he believes emotions are a weakness) and Kurama's duty to those he cares for, which includes his ridiculous belief that everyone else's life is more important than his. –rolls eyes at stubborn fox-

Summary: Kurama and Hiei have been partners for years. When the two first began fighting together they made a pact to always be honest with each other and to always defend each other. Now that the Dark Tournament has ended they must break the silence that, by unspoken agreement, is never mentioned and reveal some unspoken truths that may tear them apart. But without the trust in their bond both are left vulnerable and alone. When a vicious attack leaves Kurama broken, bloody, and alone the ancient fox does the only thing he can do. He crawls out of his home and half-stumbles half-crawls to yusuke's house. Both Blind and mute the fox soon succumbs to the images that play behind his eyes. Gone is the vain arrogant fox spirit of myths and legends. In his place is a broken doll, a man who is as much dead as he is alive. But as news of the great Youko's defeat spreads demons begin to flood the city and Hiei is forced to honor their pact and defend the fragile human body of his partner. As the demons begin closing in Hiei can no longer maintain Kurama's protection alone. While Yusuke defends the city Hiei is forced into contact with the shell of the one he used to trust. He knows that in order to protect Kurama he must warn him of the danger and rouse him from his deathlike stillness. What he doesn't know is that Kurama is even more broken than he imagined, and Youko is a great listener.

'thoughts'

Chapter One: Hiei's Revelation

Kurama's Bedroom

Saturday night, just after the dark tournament

(Hiei's POV)

"Stupid fox." Hiei glared at Kurama's sleeping form with obvious disdain.

It had been a long week, but an even longer day. The tournament was finally over. The party at Genkai's had been the sort of thing that Hiei scorned, and Kurama had sensed the fire demon's discomfort. Naturally they had left shortly after Hiei made sure Yukina was well. It was when they were out in the darkness of the woods that Kurama had begun behaving oddly. The fox had looked over at him before abruptly, although gracefully, sinking to the ground in a cross-legged sitting position. For his part he'd merely blinked, stepping around his partner rather than walking on him.

"Fox?"

"I…need a moment Hiei. I have to think." The red-head muttered as he rested his head in his hands and remained seated on the slightly damp forest grounds.

"Hn."

'What's Kurama up to? I've never seen him work so hard to remain calm and collected…it usually seems so natural. I wonder…'

"Kurama, are you injured? Because I have a right to know if there's an extra weakness I need to guard against."

The fox demon looked up, startled out of his thoughts. "Injured? Why on Earth would you… Oh. I suppose I do look a mess, don't I?"

He simply stared, obviously waiting for a better answer.

"I'm uninjured." Kurama sighed. "It's only…We were gone longer than I thought we would be, and I'm sure mother will be upset."

"You're sitting on the wet ground in the middle of the woods, at night, because you're worried about a human?"

"You don't have to stay, you know. I am perfectly capable of defending myself, so you needn't worry about maintaining the advantage our partnership gives you." Kurama replied bitterly. That was unlike him…even to Hiei the fox was usually polite.

"No, you're not." He glared at the presumptuous fox, not sure why he was being attacked when he'd only intended to help.

"Explain." Kurama was giving him a sharp look, and Hiei suddenly realized that now was not the time for this particular argument.

"Forget it, fox. Just hurry up so that I can ensure your survival until you are home."

"No. I want you to explain what you meant. I'm not what, exactly?"

He shifted uncomfortably, so small a movement that most wouldn't notice. But Kurama had been with him for years, and he had no trouble detecting the fire demon's unease.

"Answer me Hiei, or so help me I will end our partnership and fight you myself."

Hiei glared at the fragile human body of his partner. This was why Kurama was so dangerous; he always made the preemptive strike. Kurama knew that he didn't want to fight him, just as he knew that Hiei would never be able to replace him. Where else would the fire demon find a master healer who was willing to heal him? Not to mention also being a fierce warrior, strategist, genius, and thief in his own right. Nowhere. And Hiei knew it. And Kurama knew that Hiei knew. Kurama had won this round, but Hiei wasn't so sure he wanted to win the next.

"Fine, but remember, I tried to end this."

Kurama looked slightly taken aback by that. He had known Hiei would tell him, but he hadn't expected him to look so reluctant.

"I have a lot to say, if you want a true explanation; so do yourself a favor and don't interrupt. If you do, I'll leave you here, partnership or not."

"I understand." Kurama muttered. Hiei's unusual behavior and obvious agitation had him on alert.

"What I meant was that you're not perfectly capable of defending yourself. I was right to say your emotions are a weakness. There were several times during the tournament where you nearly lost or died because of them. First was with Roto. You may have won due to your obvious intelligence, but if he had had even a slight amount of spirit awareness your trick wouldn't have worked. You risked a loss, and thus all our lives, because he threatened Shiori with that button. I'm not saying that you should have acted otherwise, but he never should have been allowed to touch you. He knew your emotions make you vulnerable, and he used that to his advantage. Your emotions got in the way with Touya too.

"If you weren't so desperate to prevent him from making your mistakes, to think that he could make his life better than yours, if you weren't so desperate to find hope that it could be better, than you wouldn't have resorted to such drastic measures. Admittedly planting the seed in your bloodstream was sure to win you the battle, but the deathplant? You knew that Yusuke was the only other available fighter, and you knew that you were leaving him with three other opponents. You might have trusted him to be capable of that, but I did not. You could have used one of your less deadly plants to beat Touya. I realize that no matter what you used you wouldn't have been able to fight again, but if you had used something a little less volatile then you would have at least been conscious to exit the ring. If you had even just skipped the emotional conversation with Touya, you still could have left the ring.

"Bakken never had a right to touch you, but your emotions allowed it to happen. If Yusuke and I had attacked, we'd all be dead right now. But you know I would rather have taken them all with me as payment for your death than simply waited around and died in a later match because Yusuke couldn't beat them all. The fact that we had to rest all our lives in the hands of KUWABARA, shows just how poor your decision was. If Yukina hadn't shown up…it was pure luck that the foolish human won. Luck, Kurama. Do you realize how much I hate knowing that all our lives continue because of something so meaningless? And you could have prevented it, if you had had better control over your emotions." Hiei stopped for breath, and Kurama was amazed to note that the fire demon was actually struggling to control his own emotions.

Even despite his struggle, Hiei couldn't keep the spark of anger from lighting his eyes, and his fists shook slightly as he fought to calm his breathing. For the first time since he had proposed they work together, Kurama was afraid that Hiei might actually attack him. But instead the fire demon regained his stoic composure and plowed on.

"And what of Ura Urashima? He knew of your vulnerability and used telepathy to convince you of his innocence. He used your honor and your sense of guilt to distract you from his net and kept you unaware of his strategy. Again, it was luck that he had the item to bring Youko back. If he had had any other item, you would be dead. Then there was Karasu. I cannot blame you for your emotions regarding that twisted perverted man. But if you had trained your emotions before the tournament ever began, as I suggested, you would have been able to block the disgust and fear he awoke in you.

"You should have known, fox, that I would never allow him to take you away from me. I would never allow him to break you. You are my partner, and you wouldn't be of much use to me broken or dead. You knew I was ready to help Yusuke destroy the stadium when Bakken tried to kill you, so you should have known that I would not allow Karasu to finish his sick game. If you had blocked your fear, his mind games wouldn't have had such a strong effect, and you might have found a way to not only keep your life, but win the match as well. Kurama…" Hiei hesitated.

He wasn't sure how he wanted to say this. He leaned back against a tree, hoping to glimpse his partner's reaction on his face. But Kurama used his hair as a shield, leaving Hiei to plow on into the unknown.

"Kurama, I know you. I know that you are indeed physically capable of protecting yourself. I know that you don't need me, that I am not as much of a convenience to you as you are to me. But I also know that as long as you allow yourself to feel so intensely, to care for others so easily, a time will come when I am not there to protect you and you will allow yourself to lose, to die. What point would that serve? Your death would be meaningless. That would be very inconvenient for me."

He glared off into the trees, unable to tell if the words he had chosen were the rights ones. He wasn't sure if he had gotten his point across, and he was equally unsure if Kurama would choose to attack, to leave and end their partnership, or if the stubborn fox would think about his words, and consider finding a way to control his weakness.

"Hiei…?"

"Hn?"

"Look at me Hiei."

The anger in Kurama's voice was sharp, but controlled. Hiei risked a glance at his face. He was surprised to see as much pain and guilt as there was anger in the kitsune's eyes.

"I…thank you. For being honest with me. I know we agreed on honesty when we decided to fight together, but I never knew…I never realized exactly how often my human emotions put us in danger. How much they upset you."

"They don't upset me, fox." Hiei spat. "It is your refusal to see them as a weakness, and therefore to protect against that weakness, that upsets me. I shouldn't have to pick up your slack because you refuse to heed my warnings."

"I understand."

"Do you, Kurama? Because you don't seem to."

"Hiei, give me time. You have given me much to think about…But I will not agree with you. I admit, I have allowed much to happen that I shouldn't have. But my emotions are just as much an asset as they are a setback. If it were not for my love and my hope, I would never have the strength to go on fighting even when my body is past the point of its endurance. If I did not care so much for my friends, our teammates, I would not spend my energy on healing them. And we never could have made it through the tournament alone.

"I know you do not understand my love for my human mother, but it was the thought of her safety that kept me training as hard as I did, and without the fear of losing her I never would have been able to push my limits as far as I have. It is true that sometimes my fear makes me take risks, but fear, like pain, and love, is one of the greatest strengths a human has. Fear can give a human mother the strength to pull a 2 ton vehicle off of her trapped child. Fear can give me the power to access my demon energy, and the sharpness of mind required to see a flaw in my opponents' strategy. Not that I need it with most opponents, but with Karasu, I did."

"And still, you lost."

"That will change, Hiei. Now that I am aware of how much I give in, I will heed your advice and begin training to control my emotions. I will not banish them as you have. Anger and pride are not the only emotions that can give a fighter an advantage. My emotions are not a weakness, but my inability to control them is."

"Does this mean I can take you home now?" He was annoyed. Emotions were not something he liked to talk about, and he had spoken more tonight than he had during the last week.

"I suppose…Shiori should be asleep, I'll have to think of something to tell her by morning."

"Why not tell her the truth?" he offered up reluctantly. If he ever wanted to rest than he had to get the fox moving.

"…the truth?" Kurama looked at him as if he were as mentally challenged as Roto had been.

"Fox." He growled in warning. Kurama knew better than to treat Hiei as inferior, it only caused them problems.

"I'm sorry, Hiei. Forgive me; I do not understand what you mean." Which was unusual. Kurama was normally very adept at reading Hiei's silences, and reading the meaning in his words.

"That you were taken against your will. I believe humans call it kidnapping. Tell her how you barely escaped with your life."

Kurama looked stunned. He never would have thought of that, but it would work. Shiori would not be disappointed in him, he wouldn't have to lie to her, much, and she knew that he was intelligent enough to get away from a kidnapper, so it could work.

"That just might work…Thank you Hiei." Kurama smiled at him.

"Hn."

Kurama stood, and soon the pair was walking through the trees towards the train station.

* * *

That had been hours ago. Shiori had heard Kurama enter the house, and had run down the stairs throwing herself at her son. Hiei had watched through the window with a smirk as Kurama fought the instinct to attack his mother. After having spent such a long time battling for their lives, having the woman run at him and throw her arms around his neck made his instinct to defend that much stronger. But Kurama knew Shiori wasn't attacking, and Hiei could pinpoint the exact moment that the fox beat down his instincts. He grew bored as he listened to Kurama explain how he had been kidnapped, but his attention snapped back to the pair as Kurama said something unexpected.

"…and once I realized he intended to take my virtue by force, I was angry enough to focus. I am not ashamed of looking feminine, and I chose the person I shall give myself to long ago. It was all a matter of waiting for the right moment then, and I escaped shortly after."

"…Shuichi…is it true? Did he really try to rape you?" Tears shone in the human's eyes, and he simply waited for Kurama's reply. He knew the fox wouldn't mention something this upsetting to his mother if it was a lie, yet he had heard nothing of attempted rape.

'Could the fox have hidden something like that from me? Did Karasu try something between rounds when I was by the cliffs?'

"Yes, mother. But he has been taken care of by the proper authorities, and I know I look a mess but I'm not badly injured. I'll be fine in a day or two."

Shiori had cried a great deal, and she had held her son during the telling, finally asking if Kurama needed to see a…something. It began with a p. Hiei wasn't sure what it was, but when Kurama's face paled dramatically he became…alert. If what he sensed was correct, the fox was scared. Kurama rarely got scared though, so perhaps he should be wearier of the humans than he had been…

As he listened to Kurama adamantly refuse to see the Psy…something, he noticed that Kurama's reaction was as startling to Shiori as it was to him. That ruled out torture as one of the Psy's specialties. A hard look appeared in the woman's eyes, but she let it drop and sent Kurama to bed, mentioning that she had a great deal of phone calls to make.


So, how was it? Short I know but I had the idea and had to test-drive it. I have many may more ideas so arranging them into one story might not work, in which case i might have to write two. not sure if i'd do it at the same time or not. feel free to review, I appreciate each and every one, and they give me an incestive to keep writing, so new chappies come out faster. and I'll try to answer any questions anyone has. Also, following are the lyrics that inspired this fic. I strongly suggest listening to the song while reading the lyrics. Cause it fits both Hiei and Kurama rather well, at least the versions I will write here.

Thanks,

Davia

"Crawling In The Dark"

I will dedicate
And sacrifice my everything for just a second's worth
Of how my story's ending
And I wish I could know if the directions that I take
And all the choices that I make won't end up all for nothing
Show me what it's for
Make me understand it
I've been crawling in the dark looking for the answer
Is there something more than what i've been handed?
I've been crawling in the dark looking for the answer
Help me carry on
Assure me it's ok to use my heart and not my eyes
To navigate the darkness
Will the ending be ever coming suddenly?
Will I ever get to see the ending to my story?
Show me what it's for
Make me understand it
I've been crawling in the dark looking for the answer
Is there something more than what i've been handed?
I've been crawling in the dark looking for the answer
So when and how will I know?
How much further do I have to go?
How much longer until I finally know?
Because I'm looking and I just can't see what's in front of me
In front of me
Show me what it's for
Make me understand it
I've been crawling in the dark looking for the answer
Is there something more than what i've been handed?
I've been crawling in the dark looking for the answer!

lyrics by hoobastank