Extraordinary
So this is actually probably terrible. I wrote it a while ago when Idina released her album. It's not been checked over by anyone yet but I wanted to share it. I know it's not really all that good and probably doesn't make sense but I had to write something for this song. It's so sq. Leave feedback maybe? Have a nice day.
"Ouch" Emma whisper yelled as she hopped through the door of her apartment on one leg. Trying to calm down the pain in her ankle. Emma was clumsy on a good day never mind when she had been drinking and her mind was all over the place. Of course she was never going to get through an entire night without some kind of incident happening. It was close though, seeing as she actually made it to her front door this time before any injuries occurred.
She had been out that evening to a wedding. Emma hated weddings. They were always filled with people happy, mushy and in love whilst she had to watch them bask in the joy of the moment. Not that she wanted them to be sad, she herself just wanted to be happy. And whilst a person is unhappy it's so hard to watch other people be happy sometimes. She feels terrible for thinking those thoughts but she can't help it.
She actually used to love the idea of getting married someday. But with the way her relationships went over the years she just kind of lost hope in the idea.
There was this one girl she met when she was younger that she fell in love with and would have liked to have married. Unfortunately, this girl she loved, she couldn't get her head around herself being into women. Crazy right. That a person is afraid to love another person. Not to mention she was technically already betrothed to some guy already so that didn't make things any easier.
Easy. That's what it came down to. She picked the easiest option for herself. The safest one. She didn't want to risk being humiliated and embarrassed for loving another woman. Not that Emma even knew if the girl loved her back of course. She never did say it but then again, neither did Emma, so they were both to blame. Though, there was this one time Emma thought the other girl had said it, but she could never be sure as they were both half asleep at the time. It was never brought up after that night and so Emma just assumed it was a part of her imagination.
They lost touch throughout the years. After their fight and being told it would be too hard for them to be together. They ran into each other once every so often but their conversations never extended to longer than casual chit chat about the weather, or just asking how the other one is doing. Usually Emma lied and said she was doing just great but in reality she was having a tough time.
And so from stumbling into her apartment, after an evening of pretending to be happy whilst being reminded of Regina – that was her name; her lover – Emma sat on her couch at 2am in the morning and continued to drink. She had already got tipsy from the wedding but she wanted to get to that stage where her heart doesn't hurt anymore.
It didn't work though. It basically just made her feelings even more intense. Against her better judgement she picked up her phone and dialled a number that she had memorised by heart. She never expected her to pick up. She never even expected the number to still be connected. It was though. And she did.
"Hello" A deep sleepy voice said down the line
"Regina?"
For a moment the line went silent and Emma was afraid that Regina had disconnected their call, but then she heard the voice on the other side.
"Emma? Is that you? It's almost 3am are you alright?"
"Yes, I'm fine, I just wanted to hear your voice."
"And this couldn't have waited until a more reasonable hour?"
"Well, yes it could've, but I may not have had the liquid courage I have now then, and I would have never made the call."
"I take that to mean you've been drinking?"
Emma ignoring the question just replied, "Did I wake you, I'm sorry, you were probably sleeping huh?" Emma just laughed at herself "I bet you never expected to get a call from me at this time in the morning… if at all, right? I just… I wanted to hear your voice, I wanted to talk to you and for us to have an actual conversation instead of something about the weather, I want to know how you are actually doing. I miss you."
Regina didn't know what to say, so the line remained silent.
Emma just continued to talk, she'd come this far already, what was the harm in continuing?
"I know it's been a long time since we've really talked. What's it been like… 8…. Wow it's been 8 years since we were together… and I still get these butterflies when I talk to you."
Regina still hadn't answered her.
Emma sighed.
"Look, Regina. I know this phone call is probably a big mistake and what I'm about to say might sound a little unorthodox, a little crazy perhaps, and sure you might be married –"
Regina tried to interrupt her but now that she had managed to get a good flow going, and knew what she wanted to say, she didn't want Regina to interrupt her just yet. Not matter how badly she wanted her to talk.
"You might have even moved on, it's been 8 years so that wouldn't surprise me in the slightest, but I have to ask you – tell you – before I lose my nerve. Regina, I- I've always wondered about us. I always wonder if we could've been something, if we could still be. That's probably all in my mind though. I always wonder if we might have missed out on something wonderful; something extraordinary when we left us behind."
Emma took a break and listened to Regina's breathing on the phone, which told her she was still there, listening.
"Do you ever think of me? Or have you, like me, wondered if we could be something… Extraordinary?"
Regina still didn't answer her which made Emma's heart just break a little more inside. Tears had started to pour down her cheeks when she was midway through her mini speech.
Sniffing the tears away she said, "It's okay. I understand."
"Emma – "
"I'm sorry I woke you Regina, I shouldn't have called." Emma didn't wait to hear a response from Regina and just hung up the phone.
Emma broke down then and there, laying down face first on the couch, crying into the turquoise cushion that was there. She didn't feel like moving from her spot to go to the bed so she just pulled the blanket that she had permanently on the back of the couch over her freezing body. She had only just noticed how cold it was.
Emma fell asleep crying, but come morning she would forget why.
Regina sat in her office staring at her computer screen. 9:08 the clock said. Her eyes had been trained onto the clock for a good hour now since she arrived into work. She couldn't focus. Her mind was elsewhere, that elsewhere being Emma Swan. Regina was still in shock after what happened in the early hours of the morning.
"Do you ever think of me?" Regina replayed the questions she never got a chance to answer in her head. Of course she thought of Emma. She hadn't stopped thinking of Emma. For the past 8 years Emma was constantly on her mind. She had tried to move on, and be as happy as she could be with the man to whom she was betrothed, but it was difficult when Emma was the light in her life. The light that drastically faded away when she chose to marry Robin instead of being happy.
She was 20 years old when she discovered she was in love with a woman. She couldn't say it out loud though. Falling in love with a woman was never on her life plan. Her relationship with Emma was only supposed to be a fling. An experiment. To this day she still didn't know when exactly all that changed for her. All she knew was that at that time in her life, being with a woman, in a relationship, she couldn't do it. She was too afraid of what everybody else would think. She should have just focused on what she thought. And that was that she loved Emma. Plain and simple. So who cared? Unfortunately, she cared.
Years later, after having gone through with her wedding to Robin, she realised how ridiculous her beliefs were. There was nothing wrong with loving a woman. There was no need to be scared of what others thought. Because if the people in her life didn't approve they didn't deserve to be there.
She had been married to Robin for 6 years before she finally caved and told her mother that she liked women and she didn't want to be with Robin anymore. The catalyst of which was finding him in bed with another woman… who just so happened to be her best friend for the entirety of her relationship with the man. After kicking off and almost destroying their home, Regina realised, ultimately, she didn't care anymore. He had just given her a way out of the marriage. And that was all she had wanted from the day she set foot outside of that church. She never loved Robin. She tried but she just couldn't. Emma was her one and only.
Her parents hadn't cared that she liked women, they did however care that she was unhappy. Cora thought it would be best to arrange her marriage to Robin. She always thought they were best suited for one another; she always thought they had great chemistry and would fall in love quickly; had fallen in love quickly.
In actual fact it was just that when Regina and Robin met up at all these events that they went to – there were a lot of them – They were just being polite with each other, and indulging in the set up both of their parents had going on for them. Cora had actually believed they had been in a relationship for at least a year before the marriage was suggested.
She never understood where her mother got the idea that they were dating from until after the wedding, where she found out Robin had specifically told his parents they were, who then told Regina's parents. Regina never had the guts to correct them. She wished she had else maybe she wouldn't have ended up married to the guy. He was pleasant most of the time but she never really liked him from when they first talked.
So she sat there that day, her lips spilling out everything that had actually been going on in her mind; in her life over the years, and what she had been going through as her mother listened.
It was after that day that she had started divorce proceedings with Robin. It took them at least a year before they were actually declared divorced.
Regina had wanted to just pick up the phone and call Emma the day she was finally out of that marriage. She didn't have the guts to do it. She didn't think Emma would still want her after the way things ended. So Regina never called. Despite wanting to.
They had been divorced for at least a year when Regina got the call from Emma that night.
Emma. She still remembered how Emma looked at her. When Emma looked at her, it was like there was nowhere else in the world that Emma would rather be. She made Regina feel beautiful.
Letting Emma go was one of Regina's biggest mistakes in life. She knew that. But she isn't a kid anymore. She knows what she wants now. She knows what she should've done then. Regina will never forget how stupid she was to let Emma go, when she should've been hers. They could've been each other's.
Regina decided she was going to leave work early that day. She was the boss she could do what she wanted. She grabbed her things, put them in her bag and headed straight for the door locking it behind her.
She pulled up outside Emma's building and exited her car. After walking up the god knows how many flights of stairs to Emma's apartment, which of course was on the top floor of a building without a working elevator, Regina inhaled deeply to get a hold of her breathing and knocked on the door.
Emma awoke with a start which resulted in her falling off of the couch.
"Shit" Regina heard muffled from outside the door.
Suddenly the door flew open and Regina once again had to control her breathing. She hadn't seen Emma in so long. Even in this clearly hungover state she was still beautiful in Regina's eyes.
"Regina?" Emma's eyes went wide in shock.
"Hey"
"Hey"
Regina suddenly forgot why she came here.
"Did you want something Regina? We haven't talked for years… for you to come to me now you must be desperate… is everything alright?"
Regina was confused. Oh no.
"We talked last night, Emma."
"We did? Oh god, I must have called when I was drunk! I'm so sorry! Did I say something stupid?"
"Stupid? No"
"Well that's a first" Emma joked.
"I don't know what to say, Emma."
"How about you come inside, I'll make a cup of tea, and you can tell me what stupid – or as you say not stupid – things that I said last night?"
"Um… sure… okay."
Regina followed Emma through her apartment and into the kitchen.
After Emma had made their tea and they had moved over to the living room area to sit down, Emma started, "So"
"So"
There was an awkward pause that went on for what felt like an hour but in reality was barely a minute.
"Wow was it really that bad what I said?"
"What? No! I just… I can't believe you don't remember… I… I thought you'd remember" Regina sounded as well as looked sad.
"Help me remember"
"I don't…" Regina looked down at the cup in her hands. Emma stared at her. She felt her stare.
"I've missed you, Emma. So much." It was a start.
Regina sat there, trying to think of the words she should say to Emma.
"Did you ever wonder about us, Emma? What we could've been?" Regina knew the answer of course, Emma had told her as much the other night, but she wanted to hear it whilst she was sober, to know it was real.
Emma looked confused; reluctant to answer.
"Yes. Always."
Regina sighed in relief and then the words started flowing out of her mouth.
"Oh, Emma. I'm so sorry for what happened between us. I'm sorry I didn't choose you. I should've chose you. I wanted to. I've thought about you every day for the past eight years. I'm so sorry. We could have been something… Extraordinary, Emma."
Suddenly memories of the previous night flashed through Emma's brain as if she were just being cured from a curse of amnesia.
"You might have even moved on… I have to ask you… before I lose my nerve. Regina, I- I've always wondered about us… I always wonder if we might have missed out… something extraordinary…"
"Do you ever think of me? Or have you, like me, wondered if we could be something… Extraordinary?"
Emma gasped. "Regina"
Regina looked up and into Emma's eyes. Somehow she knew that Emma had just remembered everything.
Their lips clashed together. Trying to get their fix to fill in the last eight years without each other. Regina pulled back from the kiss which worried Emma momentarily before she noticed that Regina was just putting her cup on the table in front of her, then moved closer to Emma so she could embrace her once more. "Oh, Emma" Regina moaned as Emma moved to kiss down her neck. "God, Regina, I've missed you so much."
She pulled Emma away from her neck so she could look into her eyes.
"I love you, Emma"
Hearing those words made Emma's entire body shake with both tears and happiness. Unable to hold back she fell into Regina and they kissed to their hearts content.
Somewhere amidst their making out Emma suggested they take it to the bedroom, which Regina agreed to, and they left a trail of clothes all over the floor on their way.
They made love to each other for the rest of the morning until they both fell asleep after feeling exhausted from their reunion.
Emma woke up to a warm body snuggling into her.
After being momentarily confused she remembered what happened.
She opened her eyes and looked at the clock on the dresser. 1:47pm.
"Afternoon" a sleepy voice grumbled from her arms. Emma smiled into the brunette hair as she pulled the woman closer. "Why, hello there."
They lay there awake, in silence, just basking in the comfort the other provided them.
"I never forgot the way you kissed me" Emma mumbled into Regina's hair making her smile.
"Or the way you touched me" Emma stroked her hand up and down Regina's bare back now.
"You know… its funny… even when were together… before… I knew you loved me… even though neither of us had said it yet. I thought you said it to me once though. When we were both half asleep after a long day. I thought I heard you said you loved me just before I fell asleep. But you never brought it up the next day, so I assumed it was my imagination."
Regina pulled back to look into Emma's eyes. It was strange that Emma brought that up now she thought. But upon looking into her eyes. She knew what Emma was thinking. The blonde woman wasn't sure if Regina had actually said she loved her this morning.
Regina moved her hand to Emma's cheek pulling her face closer, their noses touching softly.
"Emma. I cannot tell you if I said it that time, I simply don't remember." Emma tried to look away but Regina refused to let her.
"But… I did say it today. And I meant it today. And I want us to be together today. Tomorrow. Forever. I don't want to wonder about us anymore. I don't want to wonder what could have been. I want us to actually be. You've been the one thing I have wanted all this time; I was never sure if you still wanted me. I was never sure if you thought of me, like I thought of you. Until today."
"I love you, Regina"
"I love you too, Emma"
"I want to be with you Emma. I'm not afraid anymore. I want to be together. Like a normal couple. An ordinary couple."
"Regina, we could never simply be ordinary. Ordinary is overrated."
Regina frowned slightly in confusion.
Emma moved her hands into Regina's hair, pulling her to her lips, pausing with their lips touching but not yet kissing so Emma could say:
"We will be extraordinary."
