Dean:

I found out about Cas and Crowley today. How could he do that to me? I mean Cas betrayed me, betrayed us with Crowley. Didn't he know that it was wrong? That he hurt me? He is a brother to me. More than a brother.

Cas:

Why can't Dean understand I'm doing this for him? I'm doing it so I can save him, so that I can protect him, so I can be with him.

Dean:

"Cas? How are you here?" I said. Bobby had put up protection hadn't he? Cas being here hurt me more than he knows, more than I will ever let him see. He was with Crowley, and a small part of me wondered if he had to seal the deal the same way I would have had to, or if it would have taken … more.

Cas:

"Dean, I'm, I'm here to make you understand." I said tentively. "Understand what?" he yelled. "that you betrayed me, with that filthy demon scum. To make me understand that a Crowley, a demon, meant more to you than me?" his words ripped through me, his words hurt in a way that no one else could hurt me.

Dean:

Cas was still in the living room, I could tell my words had affected him, but I couldn't read the emotions that played across his face. Even if I hurt him, he couldn't be hurt worse than how he hurt me. I pulled my knife from under my pillow and I pulled the edge against my open palm. The sigil that we had drawn on the wall was faded but it would still work.

Cas:

"Dean don't" I heard the plead in my voice as Dean walked to the wall, blood dripping from his hand. "Don't, Dean, I need to talk to you, to…" my voice trailed off as Dean took a step closer to the sigil, the wall just a hands width away from his body.

Dean:

"Understand this" I said "you picked a demon over me" I said raising my hand. "I loved you" I said slamming my hand on the wall. I turned back and Cas was gone.

Cas:

Loved me? I would like to think he meant as a brother, that would make what I had to do easer, but I saw his eyes I heard his voice. He loved me. I don't know if he still does anymore, if he could after, after what I've done.

Dean: I can't sleep, every time I close my eyes Cas is here. His eyes show a different emotion each time. Angry, confused despising, and loving. Every time I see him I hurt a little more. Knowing that he could never love me like I love him, knowing that a small part of me will never forgive him.