I sat up and looked around the room, taking in my surroundings. 'That's right…I'm in his room…' I wrapped my arms around my chest and got off of the warm bed. 'Last night I was sleeping in the library and he brought me back here since the old man is away…why, though?' As I was about to ponder about the situation more, I spied a shock of red hair coming through the door on the other side of the room.
"So you're finally awake, Ventus? I was getting kind of worried, since it's already almost noon…"
I shook my head slightly. "I'm fine, Lavi. No need to worry about me. Thanks for waking me up last night. I'd have gone to Allen's room and all, but…" I trailed off.
Lavi nodded in agreement. "Yeah, he's on a mission…Don't worry, though, Ven. Kanda and Lenalee are looking out for him, so I know he'll be safe." There was honest kindness shining in his visible eye. It wasn't often that I would talk with the bookman-in-training, but since both Allen, my best friend, and Kanda, my source of amusement, were gone, and Lenalee was on a mission, I had very few palatable choices left to me.
"Thank you, Lavi. You really are a good friend to Allen, huh? He always talks very highly of you…"
The redhead laughed. "Thanks, Ven. I guess we never really talked before now, huh? It strikes me as strange…I already know so much about you due to my position, yet I've barely spent any time in your presence. Why is it that you never wanted to be around me?"
I froze on the spot as he spoke. I had been avoiding talking to the male before me, but I hadn't realized that he had noticed. Honestly, I was only avoiding him so I wouldn't do anything stupid. I knew that as a bookman, Lavi wasn't allowed to be romantically involved with anyone, not allowed to be completely honest and open with anyone either. I wouldn't let myself get close to someone that sexy, that funny, that kind, only to have all my hopes dashed away in the end, only to find that the guy I "knew" was only a façade that was shown to everyone in the whole world.
"I…I wasn't-," I began but Lavi held a hand up to silence me.
"Don't bother trying to say you weren't. I'm just a little bit smarter than that. So why is it that you don't seem to like me much, Ventus?"
I swallowed the rapidly growing lump in my throat and looked away. "It's not like that…I do like you, Lavi…and that's exactly why I don't want to get too close to you. I know some of the more open rules of the bookmen and one of them is that you can't show who you really are. You can't be totally honest and open with anyone since you're supposed to have a completely objective view of everything that is going on. I don't want to get to know a mask; I want to get to know a real person. If I try to get close to you, it sort of defeats its own purpose, since it won't really be you that I would be getting to know."
Lavi ran a hand through his hair and stared at me thoughtfully for a moment. "What if I were completely honest with you? What would you do then? Would you even like the real me? Would you be able to keep the real me for you and only you? What if the real me isn't what you had hoped? I've never been totally honest with anyone but Panda-jiji, and to tell the truth, I'm not sure if I know how to be honest with anyone else…"
For all of his big talk when he was with everyone else, I could tell that he was always a bit uncertain of himself. When he saw Allen and the others being friendly, I would see him try to mimic their behavior, but still…I could tell that quite a bit of his happiness was forced and most of his actions were fake. I honestly felt sorry for him and wanted to make him smile from the heart for once.
"Lavi, what if I promised to accept you no matter what? Would you then try to be honest with me? Would you stop hiding behind that silly mask that you use? I want to make you smile…I want to see your true smile, one that isn't forced, one that isn't fake. I'll do anything to see that, so please?"
A wicked grin swept over Lavi's features then and I began to worry. "Anything, huh, Ventus? Are you certain that you'd do anything to see me smile?"
I nodded, totally not seeing what was about to happen. "Yes, if it makes you happy enough to give me a real smile, then I'll do anything." Yep, I should have thought about what I was saying, but I would only think of that later.
In just a few seconds, Lavi had crossed the room and pinned me against the wall with my arms over my head. "It's too late to go back on that now, so just remember you said it, Ven. I've been wanting this for a long time, and since you said 'anything' I think I'll take you up on that."
He began working on the buttons of my thin over shirt with one hand while still keeping a hold of me with his other, my wrists fitting into his large hand nicely. "L-lavi! What are you doing? I-," I was cut off by a pair of soft lips being pressed to my own. He tasted slightly sweet, but kind of spicy, almost like his personal scent that was made of cloves and cinnamon, making me lean further into the kiss.
He made a triumphant sound as he let my arms go to rid me of my shirt, beginning to work on the clasp of my bra. As he discarded both pieces of fabric, I blushed and turned my head away from him. I knew it was of no use to try and cover myself as he would just overpower me in the end, so I just allowed him to do what he wanted. I had asked for this after all, and if it would get him to be the 'real' Lavi, then I guessed that it was worth it.
I let out a startled gasp as I felt something hot and wet encircle my breast, tugging at the nipple. I lowered my gaze and blood rushed to my face as I saw the object of my desires sucking on my chest, one hand working the skin of my neglected breast and the other fiddling with the button on my pants.
I let out a soft moan as he began to rub me through the fabric of my pants, seeming to give up with the zipper. "Lavi, what are you doing?" I was breathless from the amount of pleasure my body was feeling. It wasn't like I didn't know what his intentions were, but I was still a bit nervous. No one had ever touched me there, nor had anyone ever touched me at all, not like this.
"Ventus, I think you know exactly what I'm doing. Remember, you said you'd do 'anything' to make me smile. I have a feeling that this is exactly what you want, anyway. I'm right, aren't I, Ven?" His visible eye glittered with an emerald fire that made me worry a bit. I'd seen that look before, that look of pure determination, when we'd been on a mission together once. Once the bookman in training set his sights on something and got that look, he didn't stop until he achieved whatever he was aiming for.
He smirked and began working on my zipper with his full attention. I rolled my eyes at him and lightly pushed him away. "Idiot, don't be so cocky and presumptuous when it comes to women. It's not like you're a sex god and a gift to all females."
At this, Lavi raised an eyebrow at me. "So are you saying you don't want me to continue?"
I let out a frustrated sigh at him and unfastened my pants and discarded them and my underwear of my own accord, leaving me to stand before him in the nude. "What do you think, Lavi? Because I don't know of any women that would undress in front of a guy and NOT want it."
This earned me a chuckle from the redhead and he began to undress as well. I had enough shame and decency to at least turn my head while he was stripping. I heard him laugh again and mutter something that vaguely sounded like "so innocent" in my opinion.
As I was about to open my mouth to retort to him, I squeaked in surprise instead and found myself falling on my back onto the bed with Lavi hovering over me. Although he kept it closed, I could tell that his right eye was no longer concealed by that stupid eye patch. I was hesitant in my movements, but I eventually brought my hand up to his face and smoothed the hair out of the way, brushing his bangs from his features.
"Sorry, but it's not a pretty sight…I don't think you'll want to see what it looks like. It'd ruin the mood." Lavi laughed a bit and closed his eye a bit tighter. He was pretty obvious about not wanting me to see it and it only made me more curious.
I propped myself up a little more and placed a soft kiss on the lid, causing a shiver to run down his spine. "Fine, I won't ask, but I will tell you ahead of time that I'm not going to be happy about it."
He laughed again and kissed me, moving his hips to angle himself better before he was to take me. "I know that you say you want this, but are you sure? I mean…once you start, there's no going ba-," I cut him off with my lips. It was so cliché to hear him ask if I was sure. Of course I was sure that I wanted to give myself to him. I wouldn't be doing this if I weren't.
I raised my hips and ground my pelvis against his surprisingly hard erection. "Take me, damnit. I don't wanna have to think…"
Hearing this, he apparently was convinced and crashed his lips to mine as he slid into my body. I could feel him hesitate as he reached my barrier, but I pushed my hips further against his and made him break my innocence.
The pain was horrid, worse than I had ever thought could be possible from such a supposedly pleasurable act. I felt my tears run down my face, hot and wet, and I felt Lavi reach a hand up and brush them away.
"You okay, Ventus? Can I move or does it hurt too much yet?" I could hear the concern in the way his voice wavered a bit and I smiled.
"I'm fine, Lavi. Just go…move…please, take my mind off the pain."
I felt him nod against my neck and then felt his hips shift, causing me to wince a bit. Yes, it still hurt, but I figured that I shouldn't just linger on the pain. As I was trying to think of a way to distract my mind from the aching in my lower regions, I suddenly let out a moan. Whatever he had been doing, Lavi found a spot inside of me that made me want to scream in pleasure.
"Again…Lavi, do that again. Feels…so good…" I later recall just how slutty I must have sounded while begging him to fuck me to oblivion. It made me blush to think of it afterwards.
I heard him laugh a bit breathlessly and felt him slam into me harder and faster. My whole body was overheating to the point where I thought I was going to explode and I moaned again as I felt his long fingers grab my breasts and tweak and play with my nipples.
"Say my name, Ventus. Scream my name and come with me!"
That was about all it took before I felt my body begin to reach its limit. My core was burning and my inner walls constricted, hugging onto Lavi's cock. All my pleasure was amplified by the sensation of his cum filling me to the brim and the sound of his voice as he called my name in such a wanton way.
"L-lavi…oh god…"
I was vaguely aware of him becoming soft and pulling out of me. The warmth of two strong arms enveloped me as he held me to him. "Ventus, thank you…You…You're amazing…"
I lifted my head from his chest and looked at him through my post-orgasmic haze and was shocked sober when I took note of his expression. On Lavi's face was the most serene, honest, loving smile I'd ever seen. My heart soared when I realized that I was the one who put that expression there.
I brought my hand to his face and smoothed his bangs away again, this time being careful to keep his right eye covered as he liked it. "You're welcome, I guess…I gotta be honest with you and say that this is something I'd wanted for a while now. I was scared that you would reject me, so I stayed away…I was scared that if you accepted me, that it would only be pretense and it wouldn't really mean anything to you in the end…so what do we do now? What are we…?"
I felt more than heard the laugh as I laid my head back on his chest. "Well, I was hoping that you'd stay with me…I want to have you for me and me alone. I don't want to share you with anyone, not even Allen. I want you to be all mine and I want to be able to be the real me when I'm with you."
I smiled and then laughed as he mentioned Allen. While I thought the younger Exorcist was extremely attractive, I'd never choose him over Lavi. Plus, something told me that Allen already had an admirer or two.
I snuggled into the redhead more and sighed contentedly. "I want that, too. And don't even think I'd choose anyone over you, Lavi. I'll always want only you. I'll always accept you for who you are, and I'll always let you be yourself without the pressure of the old man or the Order…or even the world…"
I felt his arms tighten around me and felt truly happy for the first time in a very, very long time. 'So this is what it is to be loved, huh? Not a bad feeling at all. I never want to leave his arms, never want time to move…So this is what love is like, and I love it.'
