Rider of Rohan killed by falling Sue named Lorlei
"I thought she was from the Potterverse!" says shocked widow

Citizens of Middle Earth call for action from Minas Tirith
"It's bad enough that we spend more time cleaning up SueBodies than gardening," says local Hobbit. "Now we have to worry about being killed!"

King Aragorn installs SueShield to protect the people of Middle Earth
"Finally something has been done about it!" says grateful citizen.

The next day:

"Whee! I'm falling into Middle Earth!" shrieks Amanda Diana Banana Lupin, her black hair with green streaks flying behind her. "I can see Minas Tirith!"

Suddenly, she hits something solid. "Wha-? I'm sliding! I though I was supposed to land in the forest and fall in love with Legolas!"

Her emerald eyes widen as she sees the fires of Mount Doom. "I'm not supposed to go there!" Her shrieks are cut of suddenly as the SueShield does its job and dumps her in the lava.

The End