DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN BLEACH
BREAK FREE
"Does history repeat or is it a line extending forward? And if it is a circle, should we break free or resign ourselves to our fate?"
- Kuchiki Rukia
. . . I feel like shit . . .
My vision's blurry. My legs feel like they would give in any second even though I'm half-sitting, half-lying here in the corner of my room. It's like they've turned into jelly. I can't even feel most of my body. My head keeps throbbing like crazy, I'm afraid it might just burst out. And those that aren't numb sends waves of pain that ripples throughout my body. I can't control my fingers, much less my arm. . . My eyes ache, my chest tightens and my breath comes in deep pants and gasps . . .
I woke up this morning not feeling like my usual self. No wonder- I'm sick, or at least that's what my head and body tells me, but my body temperature says otherwise. Maybe, it's just the stress and pressure pushing me down added to the fact that I'm sleep deprived and lacks rest- tons of them.
I don't know how to vent it out. Now my body does it for me. I feel so suffocated in this dark room of mine that is slowly being illuminated by the setting sun. . . Add to the equation that the people outside are enjoying themselves while I'm here in this room, alone, doesn't help me at all. Specially since I feel the darkness creeping up to me, and swallowing what was left of my will. . .
I can do nothing but cope. After all, that's what I've been doing all these years- coping and pleasing others. When they're pleased with what they want me to accomplish, they always find another thing that they wish of me to have done. Again, I cope, then please them, then cope and please them, again. It's just a continuous cycle. A cycle which I'm tired of . . .
. . . I just want to break free . . .
. . . I just want to be happy . . .
. . . I just want my freedom . . .
. . . My freedom . . .
. . . To do what I desire . . .
. . . To act as I desire . . .
. . . To follow my dreams . . .
. . . To reach my ambitions . . .
. . . Without anyone watching me . . .
. . . Without anyone telling me what to do . . .
. . . I am tired of this endless cycle . . . . so tired . . .
. . . I want to break free . . .
. . . But my courage has failed me . . .
. . . I could not break free . . .
. . . I would not break free . . .
. . . I guess, in the end I'm still scared of disappointing them . . .
. . . I want to break free . . .
. . . Just let me break free . . .
~End
CrescentSnow
