Disclaimer: I don't own Digimon. The following story is gut renchingly funny but does contain material some might find offensive. If you cannot stomach strong language, violence and some messed up scenes, you may want to hit the back button on your browser. View Discretion is Advised. (Now that you've read that let's continue!)

A/N : Thought about this one night when I was drinking some beers whilst watching the 1st season of Digimon on Netflix. P.S. all the characters in the story are over 18 yrs or age. P.P.S. Enjoy!

A Very FUBAR Digimon Christmas Special

Chapter 1 Old Friends

**The scene starts at some really nice cabin/resort-like place in the Japanese mountains. The owner Matt(who bought it with the money he made as a rockstar), has sent out invitations to his friends for a huge, private, week long party in the mountains. The first guest to arrive is Matt's best friend Tai T. **

(Tai enters the cabin and drops luggage to the side) "HEY MATT!"

"TAI! (Hugs Tai)"

"Matt how ya been you sonovabitch?!"

"Been doing great! How about you?"

"Same old same old. Agumon is off at some Digimon party and the writers keep messing up the canon."

"Sorry to hear that."

"But I heard that you got a Platinum Record during your first year as a rock star! Between you and me, how did you pull that one off?"

"Hard work and dedication."

(Tai gives Matt a look that could read through something that's bullshit)

"And being really good in bed with the judges."

"KNEW IT!"

"Yeah you got me there."

"Yeah but hey thanks for inviting me man!"

"No problem dude!"

"I wonder were everyone else is?"

Just then the door opens and in walks Mimi. She is wearing a fluffy pink jacket, nice boots and snow pants complete with a smaller version of her big cowgirl hat.

"HEY MATT THANKS FOR THE INVITE!"

"NO PROB MIMI!"

"Need help with the luggage?"

"Thanks Tai, but my boyfriend has it covered."

"Wait you have a boyfriend?"

"SI!"

"Well who is the lucky Bastard?"

Just then we see Joe K. Struggling to bring in a heavy pink bag and a medium blue bag through the door. He is wearing a heavy blue jacket with black snow pants, boots and a Ushanka(Russian winter hat).

"Phew… Mimi what are you bringing?"

(Both Tai and Matt froze)

"Just some extra clothes."

(Tai bursts into laughter)

"Joe, who'd you blow to get Mimi?"

"I DIDN'T BLOW ANYONE. IF ANYTHING MIMI HAS BEEN BLOWING ME!(Turns to Mimi)No offense Mimi."

(Seductively) "None taken"(tongue kisses Joe in front of Tai and Matt) When they stop kissing, they pick up their bags and head to their room, but not before Joe flips Tai off.

"Man fuck Joe. Mimi will probably take all his money and run off with somebody else."

"Naw Matt, Joe is a broke ass mother fucker."

Just then Kari walked in with T.K.

"TAI!"

"KARI!"

"How goes it? I haven't seen you in like forever!"

"Been studying and spending time with my boyfriend T.K….

(Before Kari can finish, Tai tackles T.K.)

"TAI WHAT THE HELL?!"

(While throttling T.K.) WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH MY BABY SISTER?!

"TAI GET OFF HIM!"

"NOT NOW BABY SIS! BIG BROTHER HAS THIS TAKEN CARE OF!(Turns attention to T.K.) DID YOU TRY TO GET INTO MY BABY SIS'S PANTYS YOU SICK FUCK?!"

"T.K.(CHOKING)NOOO!"

"LIAR!"

They feud is stopped by the gunshot. When Tai, Kari and T.K. turn around they see Matt pointing a 50 caliber Desert Eagle to the ceiling.

(upstairs)

"WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT?!"

"YOU ALMOST SHOT JOE!"

(downstairs)

Matt: (To Joe and Mimi) Sorry about that. Trying to maintain order.

After seeing Matt with the big ass gun Tai lets T.K. go. Upon being released T.K. runs to Matt.

"You okay little Bro?"

"Yeah thanks Matt, but what's the gun for?"

"Crazy fans."

"Like Ju.."

"WE DO NOT SPEAK OF HER!" (Matt and T.K. run off)

"TAI WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!"

"I wasn't going to let someone run off w/ my baby sister."

"TAI I'M 18 YEARS OLD! AND YOU'VE KNOWN T.K. FOR YEARS! YES I'LL ALWAYS BE YOUR LITTLE SISTER BUT YOU NEED TO GROW UP!"

Kari then runs off.

"Kari wait!"

"Um… Tai?"

As Tai turned around he saw what looked like a person wearing all black winter clothes. But the strangest thing was that this person also donned a black biker helmet.

"Uhh… hey sir do you need directions or…? (Gets on both knees) OKAY LOOK WHAT I SAID AT THAT BIKER BAR WAS A JOKE AND I DIDN'T MEAN TO…"

Before he could finish the figure slowly removed its helmet. Tai braced himself for the imminent beat down. But as helmet came off, it turned out to be Sora.

Tai was dumbfounded.

Tai loved everything about Sora. Her chestnut eyes, henna hair, magnificent face followed by a graceful personality, made Sora immaculate. As the sun came out, the light though the windows made it look like God had sent her to Tai.

Tai was still dumbfounded.

"Uh…what joke? Is everything okay?"

"Oh yeah,(Tai got up quickly whilst trying to conceal his most confused boner ever.) just exposing this big biker dude as a brony in front of a whole bar."

"THAT WAS YOU?!"

"Wha..?"

"THAT WASN'T FUNNY, TERRY HAD TO GO TO CONSOLING BECAUSE OF YOU!"(storms off to her room)

"Sora wait!" (Follows Sora to her room trying to apologize along the way. But before he can say anything else, his face meets Sora's door as she unintentionally slams it on his face, causing Tai to fall down like a tree.)

"Tai?"(Opens the door to inspect the loud thud and looks down)"TAI ARE YOU ALRIGHT?!"

(Izzy walks in)

"Hey guys!"

Izzy walks to his roo…

"(To the author) Hey wait a minute why don't I get a description and a conversation with Tai and Matt?

"IT'S BECAUSE I WANT TO MOVE THE FLOW OF THE STORY YOU LITTLE GINGER BUTT HOLE! AND JUST FOR THAT I'M GOING TO THROW IN EVERYONE ELSES NAME IN ONE SENTENCE!"

Over the course of a few hours, other guests like Yolie, Ken, Cody and the other digi-destoned enter the cabin. All of them were expecting intros but due to Izzy's little smartass comment had to be skipped causing everyone to get pissed at Izzy.

"(To the author) Hey I'm sor…"

"SHUT THE FUCK UP!(CHUCKS A COCONUT AT IZZY)

"AAAGH!"(Gets hit in the head and slumps to the ground. His foot twitches twice b4 stopping and his head starts to bleed.)

(To the Audience) "Don't worry Izzy will be fine!

To be continued.

*Sorry that chapter went on a lot longer than I had anticipated. Anyway more chapters are coming and the next one will reveal Tai's wish! MERRY CHRISTMAS!*