The Inn

The eleven travelers entered the local inn. A strange group they were, the members consisting of two Elves by the names of Legolas and Talis, five hobbits by the names of Frodo, Sam, Merry, Pippin, and Ruby, two Men: one who was the heir of Isildur but chose exile and now has way too many names, his most common one being Strider the Ranger to any stranger, Aragorn to his friends, and the other from the distant lands of Gondor, Boromir. Although it was not safe for them to sleep in town for fear that they would be found by Saruman's forces, Ruby insisted that they stay in a nice, warm inn instead of the cold, hard, wet ground. She threatened to pound Frodo's face in if he did not agree, and kidding she was not, he was forced to give in.

With that decision out of the way, their next hurtle was to figure out the room arrangements. The inn was small, but an accommodating size for the town it was in, for it was small as well. It only had four rooms of a relatively large size, enough for three or four people, but no more. In each room were two medium-sized beds that could fit two people, and perhaps three hobbits. Two of these rooms were currently in use, leaving only two to remain for the group. Though there was room to fit several people in the two being used, the company decided that it was best for them to divide themselves among the available rooms, only because they did not want their true intentions for their trip to Mordor to be revealed to any outsiders.

"We could split up the males and females?" Pippin suggested.

"I doubt that all nine of you will be very comfortable in one room designed for only five people," said Talis.

"So are you saying that some of us guys will have to sleep in the same room as you and Ruby?" Merry inquired, amused at the thought of having to share sleeping quarters with two females.

Aragorn, unable to come up with any better idea, nodded. "It appears as though we have no other choice."

Ruby rolled her eyes. "You make it sound like the end of the world! It's merely sleeping within a six foot radius of people of the opposite gender! It's not like we plan to"--she was interrupted by a cry from the other four hobbits.

"BAD IMAGES!"

Talis looked down at Ruby, who in turn looked back up at her. "Men," they both said in annoyance, and Ruby rolled her eyes again.

And so, after about fifteen minutes of discussion, the sleeping arrangements were planned as this: Ruby, Talis, Boromir, and Legolas were to sleep in one room, while Aragorn and the other hobbits slept in the other. Despite the fact that there were five people in a four-person room, the four hobbits did not take up much space and could fit two in one bed, leaving plenty of room for Aragorn. Sam had caught a cold, thanks to an early morning shower that day, so he would have the "privilege" of having to sleep on the floor, so no one else could catch his cold. Merry and Pippin would share one bed, while Frodo shared one with Aragorn. And must I, the narrator, take more of my precious time to explain the arrangements of the other room? Of course not! You, the reader, should be smart enough to realize that I wouldn't dare make Talis and Legolas sleep in the same bed, or Ruby and Boromir for that matter.

It was not until 1:00 A.M. when the company were in their beds. Once Ruby was assured that Boromir and Legolas were fast asleep, she poked Talis.

"Mm?" Talis yawned and looked at Ruby.

"You know when we first came into this town, and I suggested we should stop and buy some new clothes because the ones we have now are all dirty and yucky and the colors just don't work and, let's face it, we're all fashion disasters??"

It took Talis a moment or two to fully take in Ruby's question. "Uhm, yes."

"And do you remember what Aragorn said?"

"No, I was not paying much attention."

"Oh, that's right. You were too busy staring at Legolas," Ruby did her trademark eye roll, and then received a firm whack on the head. Rubbing the sore spot, Ruby continued, "Aragorn told me not to be foolish. Can you believe him?!"

"Yes." This time Talis got whacked.

"Anyway, my point is, we should sneak into Aragorn's room and give him a makeover in his sleep!"

Talis cupped her hand over her mouth to keep from bursting out in laughter. "Please tell me you are kidding! Aragorn is a light sleeper, and even if we managed to pull it off, he would know who did it because we are the only ones who carry makeup!" she paused for a moment, and then added, "But that certainly would be an amusing sight, and it would be worth suffering his wrath afterwards."

Ruby quietly got out of bed and went over to her pack. She pulled out a large, pink box filled with every lip stick color she has ever owned, along with all the other makeup items she was able to stuff in. She looked towards the door, and slowly and quietly crept toward it in hobbit fashion. She was within three steps of the exit, when she tripped over Boromir's shield which had been carelessly laid in the middle of the floor. She landed with a loud crash and a gong-like sound that filled the room.

Legolas sprang up with a loud cry. "YRCH!" He then fell over and resumed snoring. Boromir merely rolled over and put his pillow over his head.

"And I thought you elves were light sleepers," Ruby smirked.

"And I thought hobbits could move quickly and quietly without so much racket," Talis retorted.

"Inferior Elf."

"Hobbit slave."

"Loser."

"Idiot."

"Jerk."

"Moron."

"Lego-Lover."

And this argument continued well into the night, until finally they remembered what it was they were trying to accomplish. With Talis leading they way this time, they were able to creep out of their room and into the dark hallway with no disturbance.

"Do you hear something?" asked Ruby.

"Yes. It sounds like footsteps," replied Talis. Down the hallway, two short figures could be seen, each moving in circles together, as though they were dancing. As Ruby and Talis moved closer, they could see the two figures were none other than Merry and Pippin. Both were either blissfully drunk, or sleep walking.

The elf and hobbit stared blankly for a minute, and then Ruby broke the silence. "They're waltzing, aren't they?"

"Yes. I believe they are."

"This will definitely make great blackmail material." And Talis nodded in agreement.

In due course, they made their way to Aragorn and the hobbit's room. They found Aragorn flopped on his bed, Frodo sleeping on the other side of him. Silently, Ruby set her box down on the floor and rummaged through it. "What color lipstick do you think will look best on him?"

Talis did not wear makeup and had not the slightest clue what color would look best on Aragorn. "The icy blue may bring out his eyes," she said, pointing.

"That's eye shadow, dingbat. But we can use that. I think the sugar pink lipstick would suit him just fine," Ruby giggled and handed the eye shadow to Talis. They carried on with the makeover for about an hour, and to complement it, they gave Aragorn a manicure with sparkly, smelly glitter and the whole works.

The two of them stepped back to observe their masterpiece. But, there was something missing. Turning to look at each other, both said, "His hair." And then proceeded with putting neon green streaks through his long, black hair. How Aragorn was able to sleep through all of this still puzzle Ruby and Talis to this day.

As they finished, Ruby had another notion. "We have been very lucky so far. Why stop now? Let's get Frodo, too!"