Down The Rabbit Hole (Hetalia)

Author: Ashynarr

Summary: While looking for his friend Lars' missing pet rabbit, Alfred accidentally stumbles across a passageway to Wonderland, and ends up catching the eye of the mysterious Cheshire Cat. Now if only he could find his way home...

Disclaimer: Hetalia's not mine.

Warning: AmeCan hinted, human AU, Alice in Wonderland AU

This was something written nearly a month ago as part of the AmeCan Halloween Exchange on tumblr, but just being posted today as a spoooooky Halloween story. I hope you enjoy!

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"Well behaved rabbit my ass," Alfred muttered, shielding his eyes from the morning sun while searching for some sign of movement. "He could've mentioned it knew how to open its cage door before giving it to me…"

The wild grass out past his backyard moved gently in the breeze, but showed no sign of the wayward rabbit he'd been watching for his friend Lars for the past week. He sighed, figuring this was just his luck that it had to make a break for it on the last day. And, of course, since his conscience wouldn't let him just write the critter off as gone for good without at least a token search, he was now outside in the middle of a warm autumn afternoon looking for a rabbit that could've been anywhere at this point.

"Or eaten," Alfred guessed out loud, before shaking his head. He only had about fifteen minutes left to find the critter, and he still had the edge of the woods to search.

Why couldn't it have been a dog instead, or even a cat? At least the former would come back when you called for them, and the latter was smart enough to not get themselves into too much trouble and would return in a few hours demanding food. Plus both were a lot more fun to play with.

...alright, so he didn't really mind rabbits all that much; they were pretty cute and fluffy, and he'd adored the one he'd had as a kid. That didn't mean he wanted to spend his afternoon looking for an escapee of all things.

'Wait, was that-' Alfred stopped midstep when he thought he saw movement, to be rewarded with the slight scuffling as the brown and white rabbit shuffled into view, snuffling along the bushes like it was looking for food. 'Jackpot!'

His foot came down onto the twig he'd almost avoided, causing it to startle and dart off. With more than one swear, Alfred took off after it, hoping he wouldn't lose it again. Fortunately, it chose to duck into a rather large hole at the base of an old tree, disappearing into the darkness.

Alfred paced around the whole thing twice, looking for back doors it might squeeze through, but there was nothing but that one entrance. Perhaps it was an abandoned fox den or something? It had to be safe enough if the rabbit had decided to duck into it, and he was just small enough to squeeze in after…

"Well, here goes nothing…" He sighed, getting down on his stomach and crawling his way into the tunnel as well.

It was about a minute in before he realized it was going a bit deep for a normal den, causing him to pause. It was rather dark in here, especially with his own body blocking most of what light was peeking into the place, leaving him blind.

"You've got this, Jones," He told himself. "It just seems deep because you can't see and it's a bit cramped. I bet I could reach forward and grab the little guy right now-"

And that's just what he did. He felt a brief surge of triumph when his hand just brushed a wall before him, and in his eagerness to finally get out of there he leaned forward-

And kept leaning, a shriek starting to escape his lips as his body tumbled forward and into the darkness below him.

The fall felt like it lasted forever, his horror blinding him to the giant cards and clocks of varying shapes and designs that floated along the dark tunnels around him. His eyes shut as he descended into whimpering horror, the area below him growing brighter and brighter, and all he could see was his impending death-

Alfred hit the center of the giant leaf, its frame bending under his weight and force before rebounding, sending him up into the sky again for another round of screaming and falling, the process repeated with less force each time until on the fifth bound the leaf merely bobbed to a standstill instead of launching him again.

Alfred, however, was too busy clinging for his life now that he was no longer in motion, shaking as he stubbornly refused to so much as open his eyes lest he find out he really was dead after all. 'It was just a nightmare,' He told himself, licking his lips and trying to get some of the dryness out of his mouth, 'and when you open your eyes you'll be in bed, safe and sound.'

But instead of the pastel white ceiling of his bedroom, there was bright blue sky and broad leaves above him, the latter in a veritable rainbow of colors. 'Are those oak leaves? Huh.'

Whether it was the shock of surviving the fall or the conviction that this was all just a very strange dream, Alfred didn't so much as twitch a finger for a long while, allowing his frazzled mind to calm itself as he watched the breeze rustle the leaves above him. His eyes shut again, allowing himself to take one deep breath, then two-

"You picked an interesting spot to take a nap."

Alfred definitely did not shriek again, leaping up and away from the person in tan rags who'd appeared out of nowhere. His shuffle towards the edge of the leaf had it bowing slightly, reminding him that he still didn't know what was underneath him (and left him more than a bit nervous with the implications of that.) "Dude, don't do that-"

"Sorry, sorry," The young man apologized, looking completely unapologetic all the while. "Though if you could avoid screaming quite so loudly, I'd appreciate it."

"Uh, right." Alfred replied dumbly, because how else was he supposed to reply to a guy who had a set of cat ears, eyes and tail all colored a vivid range of purples? "Sorry."

"It's fine," The catman replied, smiling as he bent to look at Alfred more critically. "I'm guessing you didn't climb up here for fun, since you don't have the claws or the wings to do so."

"I, uh, sorta- fell…?"

He received a nod in reply, the strange stranger turning away and heading back towards what seemed to be the stem. "Then we should probably get you down before you slip off and hurt yourself."

"That'd be niceeeEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK!" Alfred was becoming a fair hand at making lots of noise, though the leaf suddenly detaching as the catman prodded at the stem was justification enough. His mouth was quickly covered by the irritated stranger, who used his other hand to cling to the leaf as it fell haphazardly, in the manner of normal sized leaves.

Thankfully, the ground wasn't too far away, allowing Alfred to slide off the leaf as soon as it came to rest and cling to the earth like a lifeline, swearing off skydiving and bungee jumping forever all the while. The catman shook his head with another grin, sliding off to stand beside the grounded American.

"You're a very strange person, you know that?"

"Says the guy who's half-cat," Alfred muttered, happily considering the idea of never moving from the spot again.

"I'm not just any cat, you know; I'm the Cheshire Cat, and oddities are my hobby."

"What, you mean the whole Wonderland, leaves the smile behind guy?"

The Cheshire Cat dipped his head. "The same."

Alfred finally lifted his head to look at the other, lips pressed thin in doubt before conceding with a sigh. "Hey, this dream's fucked up enough as it is, why not have magical talking cat people too?"

"Rude," The Cat replied, lips pursed, crouching down to better prod him in the forehead. "Keep that attitude and I might not bother helping you after all."

"Help me with what? Messing with my head and getting me lost for the next couple hours until I finally wake up?"

"Helping you find the looking glass, of course. You're clearly too sane and disbelieving to be from around here."

Alfred wasn't sure whether the Cat was insulting him or not, so he just chose to ignore the comment and slowly push himself to his feet. "Right, so where's this looking glass thingy you mentioned?"

"In the queen's castle, obviously," The Cat replied, standing up with much greater ease. "Though whether she'll let us use it is another matter entirely."

"What's she gonna do, lop our heads off?" Alfred mimed the cut across his throat.

"No, that was the old queen. This one is…" He paused. "Different."

"Dude, if that was supposed to be comforting, it wasn't."

The Cat shrugged, already moving ahead along some path Alfred couldn't see. "It's your best chance, and I don't see you suggesting better. Unless you want to stay here?"

"I'm coming, I'm coming…"

The American caught up quickly, settling for walking next to and slightly behind the Cat. For a few minutes they managed to avoid further conversation, the Cat focused on the path ahead while Alfred looked around the technicolor forest of giants, though thankfully the trees seemed to be getting smaller and more normal colored as they moved along.

Silence, though, was not Alfred's strong suit. He'd spent too much time in quiet settings to ever find enjoyment in them, and since the Cat didn't seem to want to start conversation, he'd have to do it himself.

"So… you have a name? And not that title or whatever, but like, a normal name?"

The Cat side-eyed him, feline eyes considering him closely, silent for just long enough to make Alfred squirm and regret bringing it up before finally responding. "I had one, once, but I've had no need for it here. Most refer to me as the Cat, if that works for you."

"That just feels so- I dunno- rude, though." Alfred frowned. "Can I at least call you Chester or something?"

"Only if I can call you tubby."

"I'm not fat!" It was a sore point for him throughout middle and high school, and he was damned if he was gonna let some dream-cat-guy prod at it as well. "And my name's Alfred! Sheesh..."

"Alfred, hmm?" The Cat grinned. "It suits you."

"Ah, thanks, I guess…" Alfred shrugged, trying not to flush at the sudden complement. Getting the sense he wasn't going to get any further on the naming matter, he decided to change the subject. "So, what's up with this place anyways? Like, I get it's on the other side of the mirror, but how'd it get here?"

His companion shrugged. "No one knows, except maybe the old hatter. It's existed since before the first people came here, or maybe only after they arrived. It's not something I really stopped to ask."

Alfred blinked. "Wait, so you weren't born here?"

"In Wonderland? No, no one is born here; they simply choose to stay once they arrive."

"Wait, does that mean you were human once? Where were you from? How old were you? Did you-"

"You ask a lot of questions, you know that?" The Cat asked, giving him another one of those looks that told him it was probably best to shut up.

"Just curious 's all…" Alfred huffed, sending his own glance at his companion. "Like, if you were human, how'd you end up looking like that?"

Another shrug was the initial reply, followed with an amused grin when Alfred huffed again at the action. "I don't remember being human, if that's what you're curious about. I just know I was at one point, just like anyone knows that they were born."

"Oh," Was the only response Alfred could give, allowing the conversation between them to lapse again as he thought about that.

He recalled - vaguely - his dad reading the book to him as a kid, and how he'd always said Wonderland was the place you went to when you dreamed. Maybe… maybe if they didn't wake up, they never left?

That train of thought abruptly came to a halt as something smacked the back of his head, causing him to whip around wide-eyed to see a far too innocent Cat smiling back at him, one hand still raised. "What was that for?"

"You were looking like I'd told you your pet died or something. I don't mind not knowing; it can't have been as interesting as this, anyways." With a wave of his hand the Cat strode past, tail swishing lazily in satisfaction. "Now come on, there's no need to dawdle."

Despite himself, Alfred laughed, catching up to the other again. "You act like you want me gone; I'm not that annoying, am I?"

"Just annoyingly loud," The Cat corrected. "And I thought you wanted to go home."

"I do, I do, it's just that you seem pretty interesting, and it's not like there's anything else to do while we're walking, right?"

"You could try being quiet."

Alfred pressed his lips together, wondering if he should push the issue, before shaking his head and sighing. The movement allowed him to remember the tail still swinging back and forth, though much less smoothly than before. He knew from experience that pulling a cat's tail would only end in bad times, but scratching behind the ears wasn't bad, right?

The Cat instantly stopped and stiffened as a hand pressed against the back of his head, fingers curled to better move through thick wavy hair. The repetitive motions encouraged his eyelids to droop, his body leaning back into the fingers and make them reach all the sensitive spots.

Alfred started grinning, then laughing softly (for him, anyways) as a low rumble started going through his companion, the simple action all but causing the Cat to melt into a puddle. "You're right, there are more interesting things to do than talk."

"Shut up and keep doing that," The Cat replied, leaning back enough that Alfred had to use his other hand to keep him from falling over.

"And here I thought you wanted me gone," The American teased, continuing as requested. "We won't get anywhere at this rate."

"Don't care. Keep going."

"Sorry, but I can't," Alfred apologized cheerfully as he pulled away, pushing the Cat just enough to get him back on his feet before starting to walk ahead. "It's getting pretty late, and I want to get home. We were going this way, right?"

Of course, there was no sense of time, seeing as the lighting of the forest around them hadn't changed (besides being almost normal sized and colored now), but that wasn't the point. Alfred had accomplished his goal of getting the Cat to loosen up a bit, which would hopefully make the rest of the trip -

Something heavy landed on his back, making him flail helplessly as he fell forward to faceplant into the ground. Spitting out a stray leaf, he turned his head enough to see a purple striped tail twitching in and out of sight. "Dude, can you get off, you're heavy as fuck."

The Cat, if anything, got heavier, and arms wrapped around him. "No thanks, I'm comfy here."

Alfred groaned and tried to force himself up, but sharp nails - claws? - quickly had him drop with a hiss and wonder where he went wrong. Probably when he decided to chase after the rabbit, actually. Was that purring?

"Uhm, excuse me…"

Alfred lifted his head, glancing up at the guy who'd stopped to stare at the admittedly absurd sight. Oh look, brown hair and rabbit ears, green eyes, and a red suit. "Yeah?"

"You're sort of blocking the path, mister…?"

"Alfred. And I would get outta the way, but I'm sorta busy at the moment." He gestured as well as he could to the guy still laying on him, who had shifted some of his weight off to Alfred's relief.

The rabbit guy looked a little more nervous. "Ah, mister Cheshire, could you please let him go? I'm already late as it is, and the Queen's not going to be happy."

"When is she ever happy?" The Cat muttered, but obligingly pushed himself up anyways, allowing Alfred to do the same.

"Hey, you're going to see the Queen, right? Cause I need to see her about some looking glass thing."

The rabbit bit his lip. "I'm not sure if that's a good idea."

Alfred shrugged. "Unless you can tell me another way to get home, it's my best bet; I'm not gonna be rude or anything if that's what you're worried about."

The other two exchanged looks, before the Rabbit eventually conceded. "She'll probably be happy to have a new guest."

"Great!" Alfred turned to the Cat, who was frowning. "Hey, you coming too?"

The Cat shook his head. "I should be getting back to my part of the forest. Good luck getting home, Alfred."

"Thanks for the help," Alfred replied lamely, feeling a bit bad to be leaving the guy just when they'd started to somewhat get along. "And, uh, have fun with whatever it is you do."

"Oh trust me," The Cat replied, even now fading aside from the grin. "I will."

And then he was gone, leaving the other two alone.

"Mister Alfred? We should get going now."

"Huh? Oh right, sorry dude." With one last glance behind him he set off after the Rabbit, who seemed barely able to restrain himself from darting ahead as the woods thinned out to become grassy fields.

The castle the stood in the middle of said field was magnificent. Its dozen towers rose stoutly into the air, the walls between sturdy enough to withstand a siege. The only thing that kept it from being straight out of a story book was the dull white coloring of the stones, like the paint that'd once covered it was being worn away by time.

It unsettled Alfred just a bit, but the Rabbit was insistent and he had no other options, so he followed. A fast glance behind him showed no signs of the giant trees that'd been prevalent before - or was he missing something obvious?

The castle quickly started to loom over them as they approached, the gate already open even as they approached. Inside found a massive garden of flowers, mostly consisting of sunflowers and bright red roses. Several people were at work tending to the flowers, checking each bloom and trimming those that didn't fit, including one smaller asian dude with the most outrageous hat he'd ever seen.

Correction, the roses were only painted red, as he noticed when he saw one up close only to notice the insides that hadn't been reached. That was a little bit weird.

They soon passed through the garden, reaching the central building where presumably the Queen resided. Alfred couldn't help his grin, nervous as it was, because he was almost out of this craziness for good! All he had to do was use a bit of good old fashioned American charm (which he totally had, no matter what anyone said!), and bam! One fun mirror ride back home.

The throne room was… surprisingly plain. Sure, there was plenty of red and gold decorating the throne itself, along with the banisters and drapes, but it felt like there was stuff missing, making the place feel larger and more intimidating than it would otherwise be.

Or maybe it was just the silver haired woman sitting on said throne making it feel that way. Though she smile seemed friendly enough, it failed to reach her violet eyes, making him shiver slightly before putting on a grin. The matching duo on either side of her decked in the same red and gold as she was seemed only slightly more at ease than he was.

"Greetings, your majesty! Lovely place you have here."

Everyone aside from her stiffened, quickly glancing between the two. The Queen herself smiled a bit wider, teeth just starting to show from behind ruby lips. "Thank you. Why wasn't I informed we were going to have a guest? I would have had a nice meal ready."

"It was sort of unexpected, your majesty…" The Rabbit replied weakly, bowing heavily. "He- has a request he'd like to make."

"Oh? And what would that be?" Her gaze slid back to Alfred.

"I'm sort of not from around here, as you might've guessed, so I was hoping I could use your Looking Glass so I could get home, if that's alright."

The temperature in the room dropped several degrees. Her smile never faltered, even as the smiling and scowling twin exchanged equally surprised looks. The Rabbit had yet to straighten up, though Alfred was too busy keeping straight eye contact with the Queen to notice his frantic looks.

"Well, I don't see why not." She eventually replied as she shifted position, something under her shirt glinting for just a second; the room released the breath it'd been holding. "I insist you have a warm meal and some rest first; I don't doubt your trip here was exhausting."

"Well, I guess I can hang out a bit," Alfred admitted, in fact feeling just a bit hungry and tired now that she mentioned it. "But I'd like to get home sooner rather than later."

"No need to worry, you will be home soon enough," The Queen promised, still smiling as she glance to her guard. "Would you two be so kind as to let the kitchens know to prepare their best meal and to gather the others? And Rabbit, would you be so kind as to show our guest to his room?"

"Yes, your majesty." All three replied at once, the smiling/scowling duo disappearing through one side door while the Rabbit led him through another, down more startlingly bare halls until they finally reached a rather nice, if plain, guest room. "I'll come get you when the meal is ready."

"Thanks, dude." Alfred settled in on the bed as the door shut, marvelling at how comfy it actually was. Grabbing one of the pillows. He rolled on his side, deciding snoozing for a few minutes wouldn't hurt…

"Alfred…" Hissed in his ear suddenly, followed by someone shaking his shoulder. Seriously, he just wanted a nap, who was keeping him up. "Alfred!"

"What?" He eventually grumbled, sitting up only to straighten when he recognized the Cheshire Cat, who was looking distinctly unpleased. "I thought you weren't coming here."

"Shh," He quickly shushed, glancing over his shoulder at the door. "I didn't want her to know, because she's still sort of not happy with me… but anyways, I'm here to warn you. Whatever you do, don't drink anything she offers you. It's how she traps you here."

"Wait, what?"

"She invites people to eat, and she gives them a drink that makes them - malleable. Easier to coerce into staying. One drink usually isn't enough on its own, but since she convinces you to keep drinking it until you're trapped, well." His head shook sadly. "You saw the servants here. None of them chose this life, but none of them can leave, not while she's in charge."

"Dude, that's-" It was hard to swallow, but it all did seem just a bit odd considering all he wanted was to go through her mirror. "How come no one's tried to stop it?"

"Anyone who knows is already trapped." The Cat smiled sadly. "Don't worry about it, it's not your problem."

"You made it my problem when you told me about it," Alfred argued. "Tell me how to fix it."

"I don't know."

"What?"

The Cat sighed. "If I knew, I would have fixed it, but she keeps her secrets well. I've never been able to stay long enough to search for the source, and if I get caught…"

Alfred stood up and started pacing. "Alright, I'll try to keep a lookout for anything suspicious while you look around a bit more. Since apparently everyone's gonna be eating with us or something, you should have the chance to explore."

"Are you sure you'll be alright?"

"I'll be fine, no worries," Alfred waved the worries off nonchalantly. "You just worry about not getting yourself caught, alright?"

"Fine," The Cat relented, though he was still frowning. "Be careful, though; if she suspects, we're both in trouble."

There was a knock on the door. "Dinner is ready, mister Alfred."

"Good luck," The Cat whispered, disappearing into the shadows with nary a grin in sight.

"You too," Alfred whispered back, before turning to the door with a grin, ruffling his hair into a sleepy mess. "I'll be out in a second."

The dining room proved to be stripped of almost all its riches, just like the rest of the castle. The crowd of people around him dining on the same trays of fish and fowl and vegetables all seemed to banter casually enough, though he noticed many of them occasionally glancing in his direction before quickly looking away.

All the while the Queen sat, pleasantly smiling and not interacting with any of the others. She drank deeply of her own cup, more than any of the others, and though the spices of his own tentatively nibbled meal burned his throat, he only mimed enjoying the drinks that refilled his cup, taking care to quickly throw the contents out when she glanced away so it could be refilled and her suspicions eased.

Near the end of the meal, she finally chose to join him, thankfully not noticing the rather large stain under the grand table. "I see you're enjoying yourself."

"Yeah, the food's great," Alfred agreed, smiling as he looked up to her. "And the drink too. What's it made of?"

"Oh, it's just a little something I came up with," She replied modestly, opening the top of her robe just enough for something to glint at him. "You know, you could stay here longer if you like, and enjoy meals and company like this all the time."

He made a show of frowning in doubtful thought, glancing away just enough to push the whatever it was out of sight. "I dunno… I should get home soon…"

"Surely you don't have anything that cannot wait a few days. I could even have Rabbit show you around and introduce you to everyone."

"That would be nice," He agreed after a few seconds, pursing his lips. "I bet a place like this has a really nice library…"

He'd blurted out the first thing that came to mind, but she leapt on the hook anyways. "Oh, our library is lovely, and I'm sure you and the Tawny Owl will get along marvelously."

Alfred bobbed his head. "Well, I guess I can stay a bit then, if you're alright with that, your majesty."

She smiled widely. "Of course, of course. Shall I have Rabbit take you to your room?"

"That sounds good," He thanked, gaze flickering back up to her face as her robe closed again.

His smile lingered all the way back to his room, bed calling invitingly as he made his way over to the bed, closing his eyes and taking one, two, three deep breaths-

And pinching himself, hard, drawing a hiss out of him and causing the sleepiness to fade away. Damn, he really didn't want to try that again anytime soon.

"Hey, you back yet?" He asked to the room, not entirely surprised when he got no response. For all he knew, the Cat was still exploring while the rest of the party dispersed. Or was just gone, though he doubted that somewhat.

"You called?"

Alfred straightened sharply, biting back the yelp as he turned to give the bemused Cat an unfriendly look. "Dude, you have to stop doing that."

The Cat grinned a bit more. "Perhaps when you stop making it so easy to do so."

Alfred shook his head, deciding to focus on the more immediate issue. "Right, so I think she has some sort of necklace that's causing the issues. Maybe if we get it away from her it'll break the spell?"

"Maybe," He hummed thoughtfully. "But that's not for you to worry about. I can get it from her after I get you out of here."

"You sure you'll be alright?" Alfred asked, frowning.

"I've taken things harder to acquire than a pendant. She won't even see me coming."

Considering that was probably literal, Alfred had little choice to concede. "Right, so where's the Looking Glass?"

"Not too far from here, actually." His tail twitched. "We'll have to go now though, before everyone's back to their places."

Alfred pushed himself to his feet. "Lead the way, MacDuff."

The Cat tilted his head, frowning as he stared at the other. "Who?"

Alfred paused. "I have no clue, it's just a saying- shouldn't we get going?"

The Cat pushed the door open, glancing down the hall before gesturing for Alfred to follow. The carpet under their feet muffled their steps, though Alfred imagined the Cat wouldn't make a sound anyways. As promised, the other room wasn't too far, allowing the two to slip inside with no one the wiser.

The Looking Glass wasn't all the impressive, all things considered. Just a plain mirror, not even in the colors of the rest of the castle, standing against the far wall. Even though it was dark in the room, he thought he could see his own room through the glass.

"Wait, how do I use it?" Alfred whispered hastily.

"Just- step through it, I think."

Alfred nodded, turning to his companion with a small smile. "Hey, I know I said this before, but thanks for helping me out and everything."

"No problem; you're not too bad for a non-Wonderlander yourself."

"Wow, thanks," Alfred laughed softly. "And you're not bad for a halfcat guy."

The Cat shook his head, smiling. "Thanks."

Alfred turned back towards the mirror, taking a step forward. "See ya around, then - or not, I guess…"

The room abruptly brightened, causing them to wince and close their watering eyes against the light.

"What an interesting surprise!" The Queen clapped her hands together, grinning ferally. "The Cheshire Cat has finally come to see me! What an honor. Are you finally ready to join my family?"

Through Alfred's blurry vision he saw the Cat tense. "Not on your life."

"Oh, what a shame…" She reached for the top of her robe. "Is there no way I can change your mind?"

He struck, grabbing the pendant just as it came into view and pulling it away-

"Stop!"

And, to Alfred's surprise and horror, the Cat did.

"Now, put it back… slowly…"

The American bit his lip, glancing between the mirror and the scene playing out before him. If he ran now he could probably make it before someone noticed him, and finally escape this madness.

But, he decided as he looked to the men with her, who all looked like they'd rather be anywhere but there, that wouldn't be the right thing to do. He blinked and rubbed the last of the tears from his eyes, running forward as fast as he could and yanking the cord out of the Cat's hand -

"Stop!"

-and hesitated, for just a second, before scowling and turning to chuck the object at the nearest wall.

In the brief period of time between its launch and final destination, he was able to notice that the ruby heart embedded in its center seemed to almost pulse like a real heart. It was a thing of beauty, all things considered.

It hit the wall and shattered, the Queen shrieking in anger as its pieces clattered to the floor. "Guards, get him!"

None of them moved, though the grips on their weapons tightened.

"Didn't you hear me? I said to get them!"

"We heard you just fine," The man with the hat replied softly. "But we don't have to listen to you anymore."

"I-" She turned to glare at Alfred. "This is your fault."

When her glare abruptly turned into a smile, Alfred tensed. "But I still can keep you from leaving me."

And with that, she turned and threw her scepter, its ruby crown aimed straight for the glass -

-just to be intercepted by a blur of purple, the two rolling together until they impacted the mirror, causing it to start rocking dangerously. "Go, now!"

Alfred jumped, nodding to the Cat and to the others, before running past the Queen being pulled away with an indignant shriek as he aimed for the glass. It rippled and fell forward as he touched it, his body falling as he passed through-

Alfred woke up in bed, breathing heavily as the sun started to peek through his bedroom window, his clock informing him it was just past eight, about a half hour before Lars was supposed to show up.

Blinking away the sleep in his eyes, he yawned and reluctantly crawled out of bed, hissing as his feet touched the cold wood floor. Only once he was dressed and downstairs with a pot of coffee preparing itself did he stop to try and remember his odd dream.

'There was a… purple cat? And something with a mirror?'

He shook his head, allowing the vestiges to float away as he poured himself a cup, mixing in enough sugar to rot his teeth out before sipping at it with a grateful sigh. A fast glance showed the rabbit asleep in his cage, as it had been for almost the whole week. Really, a cat or a dog would've been better, if only because they would actually play with you.

(Not that the rabbit wasn't cute as heck, something Lars had used to bribe him into rabbit sitting in the first place. The jerk.)

He finished his cup just as the doorbell rang, Alfred setting it to the side on his way to open the door. He opened it with a grin, marveled to see that even as early as it was, Lars' hair still managed to have its unnatural spikiness. "Wow, you're here early."

"Traffic was good," Lars shrugged, smiling. "How was Torys?"

"Slept the whole damn week," Alfred replied with a grin. "Laziest rabbit I ever met."

"That he is," The Dutch man agreed. "Oh, I almost forgot, this is my new roommate. Just finished unpacking all his stuff and settling him in yesterday."

Alfred glanced to the guy standing off to the side, momentarily stunned by how pretty he was, before blinking himself out of it and grinning, extending a hand. "Nice to meet you; I'm Alfred."

"Matthew," The stranger replied, smiling. "I've heard a bit about you already from Lars."

"Hopefully nothing bad," The American joked. "You guys wanna come in for coffee?"

"Sure," Matthew agreed, Lars replying much the same, and soon all three were enjoying relatively fresh coffee in the kitchen, chatting idly.

Alfred decided he was more than a little entranced with the purple-eyed man when he mixed in plenty of milk with his drink, still pouting because the only maple syrup in the cupboard was 'that disgusting fake corn syrup'. He had no idea why the Canadian seemed familiar, but he was interested enough to offer to buy some of the 'real stuff' for next time Matthew came by.

Matthew grinned widely. "Nah, let me bring it; I know the best brands, and I want to start salvaging your tastebuds as soon as possible."

That was as much a promise of returned interest as Alfred could hope for, leaving him feeling a lot like the cat that'd caught the canary.

Though he wondered, briefly, if he wasn't the canary instead.

~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~

AN: The original requests I was offered were pretty much all horror and gore and smut, so I don't need to explain my reasoning for requesting a new, more friendly prompt. Thankfully I can work with an Alice In Wonderland AU, and basically almost instantly came up with this 6000 word monstrosity. Believe it or not, this is the parred down version, designed just to focus on the AmeCan and none of the background for the rest of the characters. I think with those this would have ended up around 40k or more words, ahahaha...

My characters are all fairly obvious to me, but I don't know how clear they are to anyone else. I also leave the ending ambiguous on purpose, because I think it's more interesting for you all to decide on your own just what's really going on here. Think of it as one last spooky puzzle for the holiday.

Happy Halloween everyone! And I might slow down on writing if only because school's really starting to wear me down.