The Day History Didn't Repeat Itself

It was a slow day at the Cullen residence. Rosalie wasn't bitching, Edward wasn't whining. And for once, Emmett wasn't loud or obnoxious. Which often wasn't a good sign.

Jasper, who was worried about what Emmett might have gotten into, decided to go check on him. He found him in Carlisle's office, ripping up history books.

"Emmett, what the frick are you doing! And where did you get all these history books!"

"I stole 'em from school, duh! And what does it look like I'm doing?"

"It looks like you're making a mess. For Christ's sake if you're gonna rip stuff up, do it over the trash can!"

"But I'm rewriting history! Come on, Jasper, you always tell me to do something worth my time, and now I am. I'm being creative and I'm writing and I'm reading! And besides some of the new history is waaaaayy cooler than that old boring history."

"Ugh, whatever... and make sure you give these back when you're done." Jasper walked away, leaving Emmett to be alone with his insanity.

The next day in History class, which was unfortunately the only class he had with Emmett, Jasper nervously awaited the day's lesson.

The teacher picked up his textbook, and just before he began reading, Emmett leaned over Jasper's shoulder. "Hey, I even added something special for you." Oh joy, what now?

"Today we will be learning about the Civil War." That got his attention. "According to this book, the North... wait that can't be right. It says, 'The North got their pussy butts kicked.'"

"Oh, Emmett, I love you."