Kim Possible: Secret Shame Saga
(My Shaming Fan Fiction Story)
In mortal fear of legal retribution, I attach the following copyright note:
All characters, names and likenesses from the television show Kim Possible are owned and ruled by Disney with an iron fist. They are used without permission, but will never ever be used to make money by the writer, ever. So he swears profusely.
All other character(s) created specifically for this story are done so by the author (SecretShame), and may not be used without his super special permission. Otherwise, you truly suck. Honestly… it's not hard to make your own characters up. Even if they start out as shallow cardboard cutouts of an idea or straight up Mary Sues. Where you evolve from there is how things can get interesting.
The Author
Release Notes (updated for Nov 2017):
This first part of the "saga" (I'm only calling it that because I don't know how long or far it will go) began being written during the middle of Season 4 airing when I was at an all time KP fan high. As I update this now, it has been 10 years. I still think KP was/is a great show, but now I am a curmudgeonly old man and my writing style will probably reflect the change.
I started off trying to avoid mentioning too many key events so I could adapt my story to incorporate any interesting developments in the final half of the final season so that everything canon could seamlessly fit with my story and I could jump forward after Graduation and continue the saga beyond the series end. Ultimately, the events of the series finale (which I really enjoyed) forced me to officially branch my universe away from KP canon sometime before Graduation Day and maintain the direction I'm driving towards. Just in case you are wondering as it effects certain... pairings. You'll know what I mean.
Also, there is no KiGo in this story. Sorry. I have another story I'm working on that is all about that if you'd rather read that one, but it's barely started. There a metric shit ton of KiGo out there, though, so if that's all you want (no judgments) you will not have a hard time finding it.
Reading this from the start, 10 years later, there is some less-then-stellar choices I made, some of which I will actively fix (i.e., rewrite) because they really bug me, but overall it is what it is: a silly fanfic that I started to write to fulfill an itch I needed scratched, and to try to cut my teeth on novel-style writing. I apologize for any shitty character choices or dumb motivations that crop up. I realize that I am a cis white male attempting to write from perspectives that I may not ever truly understand to create something that has a fair amount of fan-service moments (me being the fan). All I can offer is to be patient as I try to course correct some of the dumber things to make each character as authentic as possible, including my own unique characters.
But again, it's fan fic. Enjoy it or don't. I'm writing it for my own enjoyment, but I do hope you'll join me on the adventure.
The Author, again.
PART ONE: Robutt Wrangling
With a loud pop, the last of the seven steel bars was cut free. She grit her teeth in annoyance as her gloved hand gently placed the hot piece of metal on the roof beside her. She had been much quieter on the last six. She wasn't taking the time she should have. It wasn't excitement or anxiousness that prompted her speed. Shego didn't get anxious. She simply got impatient.
Nevertheless, no one noticed her entrance into the complex that night. As she quickly wormed her lithe form through the air ducts, the empty hallways, the silent laboratories, towards the primary R & D bay, not an alarm was tripped. There were cameras, but they caught only shadows. There were pressure plates, but they were deftly dodged. There were infrared sensors, but they were frozen with CO2.
Shego was a professional.
Finally, she reached the entrance to the R & D bay; a short hallway that ended at a set of large blast doors. Shego didn't enter the hallway immediately, instead she bent low to inspect the floor and wall. She noticed the crisscrossing laser grid that made entrance into the hall impossible without severe pain. She also noticed the maintenance access panel that would allow someone with the knowledge to deactivate the grid.
Shego was too impatient for that.
With amazing agility, she leapt directly into the grid. Flipping and twisting, dodging and weaving, she hopped up off of the wall, bounced one-handed off the floor and gracefully landed in front of the blast doors. The alarms were silent.
"Like to see ya cheer through that, Princess," she grumbled under her breath.
Standing before the tall blast doors in her trademark green and black jumpsuit, Shego knew she could hotwire them through the panel on the wall, it would be easy for her. But truth be told, she really didn't feel like doing that. Instead, Shego felt like making a fist. Then, she did something she couldn't easily explain, as though pulling at something deep inside of her. She made her fist glow with a strange green light, a light that danced and hissed like fire. And then, with a slight grin, she punched her fist into the access panel.
Sparks and smoke spilled from the gaping hole she had just made, and with a great hiss and a reverberating shutter, the blast doors slowly crept open. It never ceased to amaze her how often that worked in these high-tech facilities.
Inside the bay, she stopped to get her bearings. The room was huge. Overhead cranes crossed the length of the building, their hooked chains hanging eerily. A multitude of crates and pallets were stacked along the walls. Various strange machines and bizarre testing facilities made up the center. On the far side, several forklifts sat parked in a neat row, awaiting the next workday. She didn't waste much more time then that, getting impatient once again. She immediately headed for the center of the room.
In her impatience, she did not notice the last pressure plate, a foot from the blast doors.
Somewhere inside the bay, a silent sentry began to awaken with a soft beep.
As soon as Shego reached the first workstation, she began to rummage through the clutter of machinery, tossing gadgets and tools aside in her search. She began mumbling to herself as she did so, moving from table to table in frustration.
"Small shiny box, small shiny box. Arrgh. You stupid blue idiot. Everything in the room is a small shiny box!" She brushed past a particularly big-looking laser cannon balanced on a tripod. About twenty feet in front of it stood a fresh, five-foot-thick sheet of steel, waiting for tomorrow's series of tests. It looked like it might be fun, but Shego needed to find something else first.
Moving over to the next set of work benches, Shego scanned through a binder. Next, a tall stack of papers went floating to the floor one at a time. No clues as to where her goal might lay were found.
"Nuclear capacitor switch, where are you? Come on!" Another set of sheets went flying with a growl. "Not like Dr D can come and find it himself, oh no… he's got to send me to find this stupid thing." Shego, however, knew full well that she could never have gotten Drakken into this particular facility without the klutz setting off numerous alarms. In truth, she had to convince him not to come along for that reason. She ground her teeth in frustration remembering him vaguely describe the device he wanted, shaping a small rectangle with his tiny hands, and calling it "a smallish, boxish, thing… oh, and it's shiny!"
Truth be told, this particular classified research complex was one of the better ones for security. Not that Shego had any difficulty, herself. But she knew that it would have been a big mistake to set off an alarm in this place. Which is why she grew even more irritated having to look for so long. Where was the damn thing? Drakken said there should be dozens of them here!
Shego booted up a computer on the next table. She quickly found the system inventory and scanned through it and finally found the piece of super hardware on the list. Her jaw dropped in disbelief.
"On freaking backorder?" The green skinned woman snarled, standing straight before the glowing screen. "You have got to be kidding me!" Her fist raised in anger, about to smash the computer, when she noticed something. Quickly leaning forward and tapping a few items down, her eyes narrowed. "It says there should be one left in stock. But where…"
"In the storage closet, over by the vending machine," a voice said in the darkness.
Shego instantly spun around to face the speaker, angry expectation already in place as to who it was. How the hell does she always…
She froze in surprise. The voice's owner was crouched on top of a massive crate, not six feet from where she stood. He wore a sleeveless black shirt with a series of leather straps and buckles running along the side. A pair of equally black pants hugged his coiled legs. A thin line of silver ran down along his hips to his ankles interrupted only by a grey utility pouch strapped to his right thigh. Straight black hair hung down to either side of his head, framing a sharp, smirking face with a pair of strange grey eyes that regarded her with curiosity. His bare arms, muscled and taut, casually rested on his knees.
One hand griped something smallish, boxish and shiny.
"Hey!" Shego shouted. "Who... wha... how?" She pointed an angry finger at his hand. "Give me that!"
The man looked taken aback. He held the device closer to himself with a frown.
"No!"
"Come on you ass, I've been looking for that!" Shego stood stiffly. "Give it to me right now!" She pointed at the ground in front of her forcefully, like a commanding mother.
"Yeah, well I've been looking for it, too." He tossed it lightly in the air and caught it again. "And I found it first."
"You found it…? Oh no, you are NOT pulling that with me!" She took a threatening step forward. "You give me that thing or I'll…"
The dark haired man suddenly cocked his head as if just noticing something. "Your skin is green."
Shego blinked in sudden surprise. "Yeah, well doy… good eye there champ."
"Wait a second," grey eyes widened in recognition, "I know who you are!" He pointed at the green woman with his empty hand. "You're Shego, aren't you? The super thief!"
Shego, still slightly off balance, straightened at the recognition. She cocked and eyebrow at the crouching man. "Yeah?"
"Oh wow," he leaned forward, grinning, "You're… like, a legend. They say you're the best there is. Not afraid of anyone or anything. Nothing you can't steal. I've heard guys, like really BIG guys, practically piss their pants when they talk about you!"
Not immune to compliments, Shego relaxed her posture ever so slightly and smiled modestly. "Ah, well…" she waved her hand dismissively, "I've been known to lift the odd diamond or kick the odd butt, you know, nothing huge."
"Nothing huge?" The dark man slipped gracefully to sit on the edge of the crate. "You took the Black Fist, the world's only black diamond, from the Global Justice underground treasury! There were only five people on Earth who even know where it was!"
"Phfff," the green thief shrugged with an embarrassed smile, "it was just a matter of finding the right zip code. Even Global Justice gets junk mail."
"That's nuts," the man regarded Shego for a moment, before leaning back casually, "which is why I'm surprised you're so damn loud."
Shego stood, mouth agape, about to accept another compliment graciously. Her head jerked in surprise. "Hey!" She shouted. "Whaddya mean loud?"
Black shoulders shrugged. "Well you practically blew the door open. That alone made enough noise to wake the dead. And then you stomp through the place kicking over machinery and grumbling to yourself. If there were any actual security guards around, they couldn't have slept through that if they tried."
Shego gaped. "Are you seriously trash talking me right now?"
He raised his hands defensively. "Hey, it's ok. I also heard you mostly hench now. I get it. Stealing stuff is quiet work." His lips tightened into a barely contained smile. "Getting beat up by teenagers is much louder."
"Ok… That's it!" Her clawed hands suddenly burst into roaring green flames. "I'll show you louder!"
The man's grey eyes widened in surprise. "Oh… right… I had heard about that too."
Flaming green death blasted the crate, blowing it to splinters. Shego was only a little surprised as the black-clad man easily flipped backwards into the air from a seated position, escaping the explosion. She was, however, quite surprised to see him land on the wall only to stay suspended by gripping to it with his one free hand and his feet. She noticed he was barefoot.
"Now wait just a minute there, sweetpea," he implored. "Let's talk about this…"
"You come back here and give me that… thing!" She yelled, leaping onto a workbench. Another volley of green plasma flew towards her target. The man spun and hopped sideways along the wall, using three limbs to grip and scuttle out of the way. As the blast connected and shook the wall, he leap to land on another series of crates. He quickly hopped from one to the other in a mad dash as Shego unleashed a torrent of green flames, destroying every crate he landed on.
"Hold still you idiot!" The green thief shouted as she flipped sideways to land on another desk, firing plasma as she did so.
"I would, if you'd settle the hell down!" The man bellowed, spinning off his last crate to land on his feet, running straight towards the nearest wall, then taking five strides straight up it before flipping straight backwards to grab the hanging chain of an overhead crane. Well-oiled wheels above him moved with his inertia to roll into the center of the room.
Shego's flaming blasts followed him. As the crane swung towards her she was forced to dodge the heavy hook, rolling off the desk and onto the floor and firing into the air as she came to a stop on one knee. Above her, flaming pitch soared to either side of the man as he hung by one arm. The other managed to push the shiny metal box into his utility pouch. With both hands now free, he griped the chain and quickly began to scale it towards the ceiling.
"Oh no you don't," Shego growled as she fired a volley at the crane itself. Hitting her mark, the heavy-duty mechanism was torn apart.
With a yelp, the man plummeted to the ground. Landing in a roll, he managed to barely avoid being crushed by the falling gearbox. Shego took the opportunity to close the gap between them, somersaulting over the desk to land next to the destroyed crane. The man flipped sideways to keep the gearbox between them.
"Wow, truly a master thief!" He shouted at the woman in annoyance, barely ducking a blast of green in response. "You sure know how to keep a low profile!"
"I would have been long gone by now if you hadn't stuck your dumb face in here!" She roared, loosing more blasts of plasma at the man's ducking head. "Now I'm going to turn you into a bubbling pile of goo if you don't…"
It was right about then that the sentry finished warming up.
The ground suddenly shook as a fifty foot robot strode into the room. Shego and the dark man both stood transfixed, staring at the metal monster in shock. It looked like some sort of giant children's toy, complete with flashing lights and a ridiculous looking antenna protruding from the top of its domed head. On its left arm stood an impressive-looking cannon. Massive mechanical claws seemed to flex in anticipation as two glowing orbs coldly regarded the two intruders, undoubtedly calculating the most efficient way to eradicate them. The calculation was finished in a matter of microseconds.
"BEEP BOOP BOOP BEEP. X L-33T ONLINE. DETECT HOSTILES. ENGAGING PRIMARY ASS-KICK SEQUENCE. BEEP BEEP BOOP BOOP!" The gunned arm rose and fired a blinding yellow blast.
Both figures dodged behind the gearbox as it took the brunt of the discharge. Shego found herself face to face with the dark haired man. She flipped her long dark hair out of her way and grimaced at him. "You turned on a damn robot?"
The man looked at her with disgust. "Me? You're the one blowing everything up!"
"Well maybe if you gave me that stupid box!" She grabbed at his utility pouch.
"Hey!" The man snatched her wrist. "Hands off my pouch, woman!"
Shego tried to pull her hand out of his grip, but his hold was like rock. He was strong, maybe stronger than she was. Something Shego didn't come across often at all, since she herself was gifted with unnatural strength due to her own super powers. She was forced to break the grip by twisting against the thumb, rather than overpowering his fingers with brute force. Another yellow burst shook the gearbox, both parties instinctively ducking lower.
"All right, now what do we do, sweetpea?" The man locked gazes with her. Shego suddenly noticed his eyes were not grey at all as the yellow light glinted off their irises. They were silver. Who has silver eyes?
"First thing, you call me sweetpea again and I am going to knock your teeth in," she snapped. "Second thing, we have to work together on this if either of us wants to get out of here. Agreed?"
"Ok, yeah, works for me," he said, ducking as the gearbox shuddered again. "What did you have in mind?"
"Ok, you distract it with your little spiderman routine, while I…"
"Woah, woah, woah," the man held up his hands. "I distract it? Why don't you distract it?"
"Um, Hello? Flaming green hands of death, anyone? Just throwin' it out there."
"Oh come on, like you couldn't use those to…"
Just then, the gearbox trembled and lifted into the air. Holding the mangled piece of equipment over its head, the giant robot looked down on the two frozen thieves.
"BOOP BEEP BEEP BOOP! HIDE AND SEEK SEQUENCE RUNTIME COMPLETION! ENGAGING THROUGHOUT ! BEEP BEEP BOOP BOOP!"
The destroyed gearbox came crashing down with a tremendous smash, both Shego and the silver-eyed man leaping to either side. Dodging and weaving, the green woman managed to avoid one grasping metal claw as it reached for her. Spinning in the air as she jumped, she fired twin shots of plasma into the grasping monster. The concussive blasts staggered the robot slightly, but it hardly paused before taking another shuddering step towards her.
"BEEP BOOP BOOP BOOP! PRIMARY THREAT ACQUIRED! REROOTING OBJECTIVE THROUGH SECONDARY BITCHSLAP PROTOCOL! BOOP BEEP BEEP BEEP!"
"Aw hells," Shego muttered, as a giant robot foot came swinging her way.
A thousand miles away, terabytes of data from around the globe was being processed by one of the most advanced computer systems in the world. A bank of monitors bathed the room in perpetual twilight, supplying a constant stream of ever-changing information. One monitor was tracking a tropical storm off the Jamaican coast. Another was logging local police activity across the Midwest, jumping between counties in a matter of microseconds. Yet another fed a constant update on international most wanted lists from every country on earth.
Seated before this vast array of equipment, the entire planet literally at his fingertips, was a young boy, casually sipping at a soda.
The young boy had just finished his doctoral thesis on mathematical computations, having spent little over an hour on it. Before that he had modified a leg razor to cut through steel using everyday household objects. And before that, he had hacked the Global Justice mainframe, just casually looking in on the status on a few minor supervillians.
It had been a slow night.
He had just decided to hit the sack when a chime sounded from one of the monitors. Practiced fingers danced over the keyboards with blinding speed, pulling up detailed information on a high-level crime in progress. It didn't matter that the information was encrypted on the highest channel, the young boy filtered through it as easily as he checked his email. Within moments, he had gathered the information he needed. He performed the last three keystrokes to call up a communication window almost without thought.
After a few seconds, a familiar face greeted him, sleep still in her eyes.
"Hey Wade, what's the sitch?"
Shego launched herself into the air as another laser blast exploded below her. Spinning and twisting, she landed cat-like on top of another crate. She was getting sick of crates. Jumping on crates, jumping behind crates, having crates thrown at her by the giant robot. All in all, she figured the room could do with a few less crates. The robot appeared to agree, as he tossed another one at her.
She had just enough time to destroy the flying box as it descended upon her, flaming pieces of wood and metal peppering the air around her. Then she hurled a burning sphere of plasma at the walking machine itself. As usual, it shuddered under the assault, and then kept coming.
Shego cursed loudly, and then back flipped off the container, hopping and tumbling like an Olympic gymnast to put some distance between her and the robot. As she paused behind a bank of machinery to catch her breath, she wondered where the silver-eyed idiot had gone to.
"Jerk took off with that damn box," she snarled to herself, "and left me here to deal with this crap." Not that Shego could blame him. It's what she would have done.
The robot's laser blew a significant hole in the machine bank. Enough that when Shego raised her head again, she could see straight through to the smoking arm cannon itself, still pointed in her direction. She saw the barrel begin to brighten as it prepared for another shot.
Uncharacteristically, Shego froze in place. Her only cognitive thought being that a laser blast was probably a pretty painful way to go. As such, she was in a perfect position to see a dark form skitter up the wall behind the massive robot, like some sort of man-sized lizard. The silver-eyed idiot then jumped backwards, flipping to land on the machine's raised arm and kicking off from it to land, tumbling to the ground. The momentum was enough to push the cannon off-target, as it fired wildly to the left of Shego. The near-miss snapped her out of the motionless state and she leaped wildly to her right.
The robot spun to seek out the new threat, scanning the ground where the man had landed. He had already hopped and rolled behind the behemoth, diving behind a flipped desk.
"BOOP BOOP BOOP BEEP! PROCESSING THIRD WHEEL! INITIATING SYSTEM DEFRAG! BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP!"
With that, the robot began to thrash its clawed arms about wildly. Desks and machinery went flying into the walls. Shego, hidden behind a forklift, winced as the desk that the silver-eyed man had ducked behind was smashed to bits. He was probably roadkill.
Looking around for a way to salvage the situation, she tapped her fingers incessantly on the forklift. The tapping slowly came to a stop as she realized what she was hiding behind. With a wicked grin and graceful hop, she landed in the cab. The keys were waiting in the ignition.
The robot, still searching for the missing thieves didn't register any danger until its sensors detected the squeal of rubber tires behind it. It had just managed to turn around when two steel prongs driven by a propane engine smashed into its chest.
Even as the robot and forklift crashed and fell, Shego landed elegantly next to the destroyed desk, searching for the silver-eyed man. If she was lucky, Drakken's stupid shiny box would be in one piece, even if the idiot who took it wasn't. She wasn't totally thrilled with the prospect of finding a mangled body in the rubble, let alone having to search through its pockets. And though she wouldn't admit it to anyone, she hadn't really wanted him to just die. Maybe both his legs to break, but not to die.
Shego grew increasingly concerned when she didn't find a body. She could still hear the robot thrashing behind her, and she knew that someone would be on there way to investigate by now, and deep down she knew exactly who it would be. Growing impatient yet again, she tossed a piece of the desk over.
"Where are you, you freaking weirdo?" She growled. Once again, a male voice from nowhere had her spinning around.
"That was nuts!" The black-clad man came sliding down the wall, facing Shego with a grin. "I gotta say, sweetpea, that was a sweet move with the forklift."
Shego, more surprised than anything that the grinning idiot was still alive, had enough mindset to say, "I told you not to call me sweetpea," before she lit her hand with green flames. "Now give me that box."
The sliding man came to a sudden stop, three feet from the ground. His grin vanished just as quickly. "Oh now, come on. Let's be reasonable here. I've got a major client looking for one of these," he tapped his utility pouch. "It's not like you can just pick one up at the Radio Shack. It's worth a fair chunk of change."
"I've got my own… client," Shego responded, "and he wants the thing tonight. For… uh, I'm not really sure what, but it's probably pretty devious."
"Lets make a deal here," the man's smile returned and he slid the rest of the way to the floor. "Look, I'm sorry I was an ass before. We can split the profit, 60-40."
Shego's hand burned brighter and she took a threatening step forward.
"Ok, ok! 50-50. I don't know about your buyer's cost, but mine would still be a pretty sweet deal cut in half."
Shego didn't want to admit to the thief that she wasn't being paid for the device and that she was just doing the job for Drakken as a hench. The idea of making a lot of money did appeal to her greatly. But Shego wasn't about to let the silver-eyed man win that way. It had become a competition to her, like so many times before. Shego never gave in. Shego never compromised.
However, Shego did often lie.
"Ok," she smiled at the silver-eyed man as her hand extinguished itself. "Let's make a deal." She put her hands on her shapely hips and waited for the idiot to take the bait. His eyes narrowed suspiciously at her, but he slowly relaxed under her sensuous gaze. She noticed him glancing down at her body, trying to be discreet. She ground her teeth together, barely holding her smile.
"Ah, all right then," the man cleared his throat akwardly. "Partners then." He smiled and held out his hand. "My name is Cutter. Chris Cutter. Pleased to, uh, make your acquaintance."
Shego looked him up and down. It was only fair, after he shamelessly ogled her. She had to admit that he wasn't exactly hard on the eyes. His figure-hugging black clothes displayed an impressive muscle tone. But then he would need one to bounce off the walls like the idiot he was. Her gaze climbing back up to his carved face, she found that he was staring at her with a tightness around his strange silver eyes. So he didn't liked being ogled at either, huh? Serves him right.
Just then she realized that he still had his hand extended towards her. She had forgotten it while looking at him.
"Uh… right," She reached for his hand. "Shego. But then you knew that already." As they gripped hands, Shego prepared herself to pull him into an arm lock, intending to forcefully take the device.
But they had been ignoring the robot.
With a grinding steel-on-steel screech, the forklift came flying over the thieves' heads. The robot, with two sparking and smoking holes neatly punched into its chest, came shuddering to tower over them.
"BZZT POP ZURK BOOP! ERROR! QUICK NOT FOUND! ILLEGAL STACK DUMP IN PROGRESS! BZRK KRAK ZARK BZZK!"
Twin clawed arms came smashing down.
The impact shook the room and would have completely annihilated both parties had they not deftly escaped. Shego tumbled hand over foot, nimbly flipping in a series of leaps to land neatly facing the robot, hands already engulfed in green fire. The man named Cutter twisted sideways in midair to run along the wall face, bouncing off with one hand to land crouched on all four limbs.
The robot was immediately assaulted by a hail of green plasma, causing it to shudder and quake, but with little other effect. Shego blinked in surprise as a desk came sailing overhead to smash into the giant. She turned to see Cutter busy picking up another whole desk and, with a grunt, hurl it at the robot. It stood impassively as the heavy office implement simply bounced off its shoulder. Cutter smiled sheepishly at Shego, who frowned in response, before releasing another flood of green energy.
The robot came stomping forward, its steps less calculated and more shambling. Long arms swung wildly, obliterating anything unfortunate enough to be in their path. The thing was much more chaotic and destructive since its chest piercing and Shego just seemed to be annoying it. Cutter, on the other hand, was completely useless as far as she could see.
"I think we need to regroup there, sweetpea!" Cutter shouted as he backpedaled. "You're not doing any good with those flaming boogers of yours!"
Shego ground her teeth in anger and stood her ground. Flaming boogers? That jackass! The flames surrounding her fists swelled and leapt with her fury. She'd show him flaming boogers! Her hands came together in front of her as the robot loomed.
"I told you," she snarled, "don't – call – me – SWEETPEA!" A blinding storm came forth, its roar filling the bay and bathing everything in green. The ground sizzled and the air vibrated with energy. Slamming into the giant robot, its arm was blown straight off.
As the flood subsided, Shego stood surrounded by smoking black ruin, panting through clenched teeth. Cutter stood frozen, a few dozen feet back. His mouth open in shock.
The robot also stood motionless, looking at its lost arm. But it was a robot, after all, and it felt no pain at the loss. With a sudden noisy whirl, its remaining arm snapped out and snatched Shego off the ground.
Kicking and cursing, the green woman clawed at the robotic grip with sharpened metal nails, leaving deep furrows in the offending steel. Behind her, she heard the silver-eyed idiot shouting, but she was too preoccupied to care. Her hands glowed, adding extra damage to her thrashing, but not enough to break the hold. Shego could only yell in fury as the massive arm raised high into the air, preparing to shatter her body against the concrete floor. Her scream was defiant. Never had the idea to give up entered her mind.
With blurring speed, Cutter came flying feet-first into the robot's domed head. The resulting impact snapped the robot backwards and interrupted Shego's decent.
Reaching out with one arm as he cart wheeled off of the kick, Cutter grabbed onto the robot itself. As the sentry righted itself the dark man skipped along the robot's surface, swinging around under one side to dash up the extended arm to where Shego remained caught.
"Hold on," he shouted as he came to a crouched stop beside her, "I'm going to-nngh!" He grunted as he pulled at the thick metal claw. The thing groaned under the strain but would not release. "A little help here?"
"What do you think I've been doing, you jumping freak?" Shego roared at him. Her brightly glowing fist came down hard on the claw's oiled hinge; the force shuddered the whole arm and almost caused Cutter to loose his grip with a yelp.
The robot's head spun to look at them. If anything it looked… angry. Maybe it was just the big dent on its forehead.
The arm began to swing wildly trying to dislodge Cutter, who barely managed to stay hanging on. Back and forth, back and forth in high speed. Shego began to feel sick, and moaned loudly when the arm came to sudden stop.
Instantly seizing the momentary pause, Cutter leapt to the robot's shoulder. He danced a full circuit around its head, the dome swiveling to follow him, before scuttling down its back. The machine, busily trying to follow the annoyance crawling around its body, ignored Shego in its vice-grip. Clearing her head and focusing her power, she narrowed the green plasma into a cutting beam and started the slow task of freeing herself.
Meanwhile, Cutter swung between metal legs to come hanging from the robot's chest. His hands gripped one of the smoking forklift holes and pulled with a loud grunt. The thick metal skin screamed and slowly peeled back, exposing an assortment of sparking wires and pumping pneumatics. Cutter reached in and tried pulling at the inner workings, hoping to disrupt something. What he got was a vicious shock as he accidentally grabbed a high voltage artery.
The robot, sensing danger, swung its remaining arm, complete with screaming Shego, into its chest. Cutter, still reeling from the shock, barely managed to avoid being squished. Even so, he was uncomfortably pinned between Shego's torso and the unyielding metal.
"Are you trying to get me killed?" Shego yelled as she struggled to free her hand and shoulder from pushing against Cutter's chest. His face, mere inches from her own, twisted into a snarl.
"I'm trying to rescue you, you ungrateful witch!" His silver eyes sparkled dangerously as he pushed against the pinning claw with his one free hand. "Maybe if you listened to me when I said to regroup…"
"I don't need rescuing!" Shego barked. "And none of this would have happened if you hadn't stuck your stupid nose in my business!"
Cutter snarled, almost ferally. Shego swore she saw pointed canines in his grimace. Veins popped out along his neck and arms as he pushed the claw inch by inch away from himself.
Who was this freak?
The metal arm suddenly pulled itself away from the robot's chest. The unexpected freedom caused Cutter's eyes to widen in surprise as he stumbled forward, falling to the floor. Shego heard him land with a satisfying thump and then resumed cutting into the vice that held her.
The robot stomped on the ground, trying to dispatch the dodging and rolling man. Cutter, still off balance, scrambled to escape. The pursuit grew more dogged as the behemoth seemed to grow less calculating, and more frenzied in its stomping. The machine was rampaging out of control.
Liquid metal dripped to the floor as Shego's focused beam cut three quarters of the way through the clamping claw. With an angry grunt she brought her glowing fist down on the weakened metal, snapping it off with an explosive hit. She dropped to the ground and rolled out of the machine's path. It seemed to ignore her freedom in its single-minded pursuit of the dancing Cutter. Shego stood, weighing her options.
Her first thought was to get the hell out of the complex. She wasn't going to get a better opportunity to escape with the robot mindlessly rampaging after the hard-pressed man. Her second thought was how she was going to explain to Drakken that she didn't get the stupid box he wanted, not that she really cared if he threw a temper tantrum over it. Her third thought surprised her.
Looking around, she tried to think of a way to help Cutter. The man was a bouncing idiot, but he had risked his neck for her. That counted for something with Shego, as it often did with a certain, equally annoying, redhead. Writing it off as a professional courtesy, Shego decided to save his butt.
Her eyes settled on something she had forgotten, of which she was disappointed with herself for. Six graceful strides and a roll over a desk had her standing next to the object of her attention.
The laser cannon.
Impatiently removing it from the tripod with a glowing chop, she easily hoisted the massive weapon onto her shoulder. It seemed to dwarf her, but she managed to find its balance. She sprinted out from behind the workstation to get a clear line of sight, coming to a skidding stop. Across the bay, the rampaging robot had pinned a dark form against the concrete wall. She could see Cutter pushing back, trying to keep from being finally crushed by the mangled robot arm. He was losing.
Shego anxiously pressed buttons and turned knobs. She heard the cannon begin to hum and vibrate next to her ear. It beeped at her and she felt warmth pulsing against her cheek.
"Come on, come on. How do you shoot this frigging..." she squeezed a hand-shaped plunger along the weapon's length. A low-pitched keen began and climbed into the higher octaves as the cannon grew hotter. Shego braced herself and took aim.
A white hot light erupted from the cannon's barrel and streaked across the room, leaving dark afterimages in her vision. She had to push to keep from being blown backwards by the wailing beam, her hair whipping about her head wildly from a vortex of whistling drafts. Almost as quickly as it began, the light was gone. Shego was left blinking, trying to clear her eyes.
Across the bay, the robot still stood with its pinning arm against the wall. However, a glowing five-foot hole had been neatly cut straight through its center, as though with a giant hole punch. Almost in slow motion, the robot teetered and fell over backwards to crash on the floor with a great shudder. Shego was more then a little relieved to see Cutter's dark head cautiously rise out of the rubble to peer at her. His face looked a little red, as though sun burnt.
"That was nuts." Was all he said.
Shego lowered the heavy weapon. She saw an LCD printout along its side read; CHARGE DEPLETED. One shot? That's all it could do? She guessed there was no point in trying to steal the weapon for herself and dropped the cannon unceremoniously on the floor.
Cutter came stumbling through the debris, smoke rising from the leather straps on his shirt. Despite looking worse for wear, his stupid grin was almost infectious. Of course, Shego had not forgotten her job. Not even for a second, she told herself.
"That had to be one of the coolest things I've ever seen," the silver-eyed man gushed. "It was all, like, pffshooo!" His arm shot out, tracing the path of the laser. "And you were all standing there, like, Miss Badass."
"Yeah," Shego didn't smile. "I'm Miss Badass."
"I mean… wow." He turned around and stood staring at the smoking laser hole in the wall, his hands holding onto the back of his head. Shego looked down at the utility pouch hanging off his thigh as he continued to babble excitedly. "I usually just sneak in and out and don't get caught up in crazy crap like this but… jeeze, that was actually kind of fun. In a completely insane kind of way. Alright, maybe I do see the appeal of the loud approach, but seriously... we'd better get out of here before the National Guard comes or..."
She came up behind him, silent as a fox.
The box had come half way out of his pouch by the time Cutter spun around to grab her. It went flying into the air as Shego spun to kick out with her right leg, reaching out to catch it as it fell.
Cutter was quicker than she expected and caught her by the ankle with both hands. He rotated and her entire body spun in the air like a corkscrew. She was prepared, however, and connected with her second foot into his shoulder as he desperately raised it to protect his head. He stumbled sideways as she landed on her hands to flip herself upright, her hands aflame. Cutter regained his balance instantly and regarded her with a cold expression, further enhanced by his shining eyes.
The box had landed between them.
"I thought we had come to an… agreement," the dark man spoke with a dead voice. All levity had completely disappeared from his face. He simply looked… dangerous. But Shego didn't flinch. She had more danger in her little finger.
"Sorry, champ," she allowed herself a cold smirk, "I don't make deals."
Cutter watched her for a moment. He sighed. "I'm really sorry to hear that." Then he ducked with blinding speed for the box.
Shego reacted instantly, swinging her burning hand down to disrupt his grab. Instead, he griped her wrist again, this time strong enough to threaten snapping it. In response, she forced the green plasma in her hand to brighten and grow with power. He retracted his hand with a hiss of pain and kicked out with a bare foot at the device. It went skidding across the floor.
Shego swung her glowing hands in a series of quick jabs and thrusts, all of which Cutter dodged and avoided. This was growing infuriatingly familiar to Shego. So she decided to change it.
She went in a low push forward which Cutter read like a book, twisting to compensate. Instead, she reversed and leapt backwards, leaving him frozen and confused. At least until he noticed the glowing ball of green plasma she had left in front of him.
The explosion sent him flying into a storage cabinet.
Shego made a beeline for the shiny box. She had seen it slide under a rolling cart. However, she was forced to duck as several heavy pieces of high-tech equipment came sailing her way. Cutter was crouched over the flipped cabinet, reaching down and pulling out anything handy to throw. Once Shego hit the floor, he bounded across the floor on two limbs and four, crossing the gap with shocking speed.
Shego leapt up and collided with the Cutter in midair, her shoulder sending him reeling to the ground. She managed to land in a roll next to the cart, which she quickly pushed out of her way. Her hand was reaching for the device when the cart came flying back at her, kicked out by a supine Cutter. Shego and the cart went rolling together into a desk.
A deft snap of his legs had Cutter standing. Shego was also back on her feet in a matter of seconds. Once again, they faced each other with the shiny metal box between them. This time, Cutter was much closer than her. There was no doubt that he could snatch it up before Shego could reach him. She expected him to go for it, but then he surprised her.
"The offer still stands." Cutter made no move towards the box, though his body was a coiled spring. "50-50 on a nuclear capacitor switch. You could do worse."
"Nuclear capacitor switch," Shego repeated with a snort. "What does that even do? It sounds like it was just made up."
Cutter actually laughed at that. "Yeah. Like it was contrived. I was thinking the same thing." His smile disappeared and he watched her warily. "You won't get it, you know. I'm offering you a draw here. Think about it, sweetpea."
Shego did think about it. She knew she couldn't get the device, not unless she completely vaporized the silver-eyed man before he reached it. Drakken's own stupid scheme didn't matter to her, and sharing in the profit selling the device would definitely make her some good money. A draw seemed like the most profitable idea. It had been a good fight. An enjoyable fight. And Shego always loved a good fight.
But Shego never gave in, and a draw felt too much like losing to her.
Green death shot from her hands. Cutter reacted almost at the same moment, his speed almost too fast to watch, diving for the silver box. One last ditch attempt to steal the object.
He was too slow.
The smoke cleared and Shego let her hands extinguish in an audible poof.
Cutter crouched over a small blackened crater. Inside sat a gleaming shape of metal. The device had melted into an almost stone-shaped mass half its original size. It was completely useless to anyone.
Cutter looked up at Shego. She expected him to be angry, which he was a little, but he also looked confused.
"Why did you do that?" He asked her, still crouched over the crater. "We could have both made money. Now everybody loses."
"Exactly," Shego muttered, mostly to herself. "Nobody wins."
Cutter stared at her with those strange silver eyes. His expression was unreadable. He made no move to get up.
The sound of a helicopter overhead snapped both thieves into action.
Shego sprinted out the way she came in, through the giant blast doors. She didn't see where Cutter escaped to and she told herself that she didn't really care. She had had enough action for one evening without dealing with the person who was undoubtedly jumping out off the helicopter above her. Through the complex and into the night she disappeared.
No one noticed her.
Only minutes after Shego's exit another, younger, woman entered the research bay through the open blast doors. She pushed red hair out of her face and surveyed the destruction before her. Her thin eyebrows rose in surprise even as a young man came stumbling in beside her.
"Ugh, KP!" The blonde boy groaned, "I think I burnt my pants on the lasers!" Sure enough, a neat black hole was burnt into the seat of his combat pants. A small hairless rodent leaned out of his pocket to cough up black smoke with a frown.
"I told you, Ron," Kim Possible sighed, "wait for Wade to deactivate the laser grid before you followed me. You could have been toasted."
"Hey, no fair! Just because you can jump through the lasers doesn't mean I should sit and wait! Oh, and nice finish on that by the way, was that an Ellerslie Dixie twist I saw?"
"Oh, it was no big," Kim shrugged with a smile before frowning back into the room. "But we'd better focus on the mission, Ron."
Ron Stoppable turned and saw the room for the first time. He let out a low whistle as they slowly wandered through the debris.
"The whole place is trashed! Man… this is worse then my eighth birthday party when my dad hired circus performers, and let me tell you, nothing makes a mess like and elephant with an intestinal infection."
Kim Possible leaned down to examine some familiar-looking scorch marks. "It looks like we missed it all. But I think I have a lead on our villain."
"Hey, Kim! Check this out! It's a giant robot!"
Kim opened a small device out of her pocket and pressed a button. A young boy's face appeared in the screen. "Wade, I need you to scan this residue. Tell me if it looks familiar."
"Ah man, the thing is busted! How lame is that? I bet if I had some sort of remote control I could get it to dance or something."
The small device in Kim's hand hummed and a line of blue light ran the length of the burn mark. "Looks like you're on the right track," the device spoke, "it's definitely Shego. Plasma fingerprint matches."
"Hey Kim, check it out! I'm doing the robot! Domo arigato… Mr. Roboto!"
"I thought so," Kim Possible frowned. "We need to figure out what she stole. Can you check the inventory, Wade? I'm going to interview some of the scientists who work here. It'll probably have to wait until tomorrow, though."
"Done and done," the young face in the Kimunicator said. "You might as well go back to bed while they sort through this mess. It'll take a while."
"Great. I have a history test tomorrow and I need the nappage." She stood up from the ground and turned to see Ron performing robotic dance moves on top of the collapsed machine. "Come on, Ron. We're all done here."
"Aww, we just got here!" The young man pouted as he slid down the side of the massive robot, nearly falling on his face as he landed. "You'd think the villains would have the courtesy to stay long enough to say 'hi' or something. What a gyp."
"Maybe we'll be lucky tomorrow," Kim said sarcastically. She never considered Shego lucky. "I'll make it up to you then with Bueno Nacho."
"Booya!" Ron raised a fist in joy. "We're outta here!" His call was echoed by his small companion, still dancing on his shoulder.
The bay was empty and silent. Twisted machinery littered the floor. Wood, metal and plastic pieces were sprinkled everywhere. Burn marks and melted material left a foul smell in the air. Tables and desks were overturned, equipment was smashed, and there was a giant broken robot lying in a heap. Very little could be called 'salvageable' among this devastation.
Somewhere in the middle of the room, a silver-eyed man seemed to flow out of the shadows. The dim light glinted off his irises as he smoothly made his way towards a particular spot in the bay. He made not a sound.
Coming to a stop, he stood over a small black crater on the floor. He stared at the metal lump seated in the hole. Minutes passed.
Finally, he lowered slowly to pick up the object. He held it in his hand gingerly, running his fingers over its smooth surface. It really was shaped like a metallic stone. It still felt warm to the touch.
With a fond smile, the dark man placed the shining stone in his pocket.
"Later, sweetpea."
END: Part One
