AN: Ladies and gents, boils and ghouls. This is your captain Caligula II speaking. We'll be experiencing some turbulent insanity in this fic which will be known as The Tekken Haloween Special.
It was a cheerful day in Anytown, America when Craig Marduk found himself in his own home.
'That's weird.' he said. 'I'm usually breaking some people's faces this late in the afternoon.'
But deciding that he will take a day off, Craig proceeded to access his email which was illbreakyourface (at) tekken. com.
'Hmmm... one message.' said Craig. 'That's weird. I don't usually get much mail.
He opened the message which said:
'Dear fellow Tekkenite. I am inviting you to my Halloween party which will take place at Mishima Manor, Kazzy drive no. 13. Sincerely, Kazzy Spookenstein. '
'Crikey. I never get invited to parties.' said Craig Marduk. 'I'll definitely go.'
And without any further ado, he grabbed his facebreaking stuff and marched on to Mishima Manor.
On the other side of town, Yoshimitsu was engaged in a Bruce Leesque fight with Bryan Fury,
'Now I avenge cran honour by kicking your solly ass.' said Yoshimitsu.
'Yippie cow yea, motehrfucker.' said Bryan.
'You shall yield to my blade, gajin!' shouted Yoshimitsu as he attacked Bryan.
'Take this advice punk.' said Bryan as he dodged Yoshi's attack and punched him, sending him flying through the air.
'Ninja manual not cover this!' shouted Yoshimitsu as he flew into a wall. He got up and punched Bryan's face.
'My name's Bond. James Bond.' said Bryan as he got up.
'Everybody was kung-fu fighting!' shouted Yoshi as he ran towards Bryan.
'I'll clean you all!' shouted Bryan as he himself started running towards Yoshi.
At that precise time a truck drove by and a delivery person stepped out.
'Hello. I'm Handsome Rob. I have a delivery for Bryan and Yoshimitsu.' said the delivery person.
'That's us.' said the two in unison.
'Plese sign here.' said Handsome Rob.
'So Rob.' started Bryan while Yoshi was signing. 'How come they call you Handsome?'
'Because I'm handsome, duh.' said Rob.
'Good point you have there, young one.' said Yoshi.
'Take care and watch me in Transporter 2. Cheers.' said Handsome Rob and drove away.
'Good riddance.' said Bryan. 'Now let's see what's in the package.'
'Aiii. It might be bomb.' said Yoshi. 'I open it with secret ninja power.'
'Yeah, you do that.' said Bryan and rolled his eyes.
'Hai. It say, Hello Tekken people. I Kazzy Spookenstein and I invite you to gureat party at Mishima Manor for Haroween.' explained Yoshi.
'Ohcool.' said Bryan. 'Last time I got invited to a party I boned this great chick... Kunimitsu.'
'Hai. I know. She my girfriend before that.' said Yoshi.
'Gee, sorry man.' said Bryan.
'No probrem. I no go Kuni-chan anymore.'
'So, you come to this party?' asked Bryan.
'Yes, I come many times party.' said Yoshi and the two highfived each other.
Meanwhile, accross town, MC Boskonovitch was kicking it old school.
I'm a disciple of science
I know the universe is compliance with natural laws,
but many place reliance on the psuedo-science of quacks and
morons and fools because,
their educations deficient,
they put faith in omniscient,
make believe beings who control their fate,
but the Bosk aint with it, dig it,
their Holy writ aint the least bit legit,
its a bunch of bullshit.
They need to read a book that ain't so damn old old,
let reason take hold,
though truth to be told,
they're probably already too far gone,
withdrawn, the conclusion foregone.
But maybe there is still hope for the young,
if they reject the dung being slung from the tongues,
of the ignorant fools who call themselves preachers,
and listen instead to their science teachers.
Upon blind faith they place reliance,
what we need more of is science!
Uh yeah, that's right!
Fundamentalist assholes!
Screw the hole lot of them.
Look, I ain't Thomas Dolby,
science doesn't blind me,
think you're smart? Form a line behind me,
you won't find me, truth to tell,
to be a man who suffers fools very well.
Quite the opposite in fact,
I aint got time to interact,
with crystal wearing freaks in need of a smack.
New age motherfuckers? Don't get me started,
I made more sense than them, last time I farted.
Not to put too fine a point upon it,
but the whole new age movement is full of shit.
Please allow me to elaborate,
explicate, expatiate.
from astral projection to zygomancy its a,
mish mash of idiocy.
Instead of the archaic worship of seasons,
they should explore logic and reason.
Upon blind faith they place reliance,
what we need more of is science!
Upon blind faith they place reliance,
what we need more of is science!
Fucking new-agers!
Is there any amount of bullshit they won't swallow?
It's two-thousand-aught-seven goddammit!
When are these morons gonna join us in the 21st century?
When he was done, a guy walked up to him and said 'Excuse me Dr. B. You have a message.'
'Oh, jeah. I luve it when the bitchez be writing to me.' said Doctor Boskonovitch. 'They be wanting some of the B.'
'Here's your cell, boss.' said the guy named Guy.
'Jeah, who be text messaging me?' asked Dr. B. 'Let's see.' Joo be showing up to ma party in the mishima crib, dig. Kazzy Spookenstein. Peace.'
'Yo I be going there.' said MC Boskonovitch as he packed the Uzis in the posse and headed for the Mishima crib.
Meanwhile, back at Mishima Manor, Kazzy Spookenstain was rubbing his fingers together.
'Aw man this is gonna be one kickass party.' he said.
AN: Ich bin der Käse!!!.. Well not realy, but whatever. Review and give me ideas.
