Fix the world for you
Summary: What if Edward had waited a few months to come back to Forks? What if...Bella had never jumped the cliff alone? This story starts exactly at the point Edward leaves, everything before and some of the backgrounds here is of course still Mayer's story.
Pairing: Jake/Bella
Chapter 1
Pov: Jake
I remember the morning very clearly. It wasn't like I didn't know about my crush on Bella Swan, the problem was admitting it wouldn't change anything. She was in normal school, with normal people, I was a 15 year old red face living on a reservation. I mean, don't get me wrong, I never was one of those blaming pale faces for taking our land, I was far too young and no matter how it looked to outsiders, our lives were just as modern as theirs. I eat pizza and heat up sausages in the microwave, shoot. But back to pale faces and that morning. I started to feel a little restricted seeing Bella making friends in the school, because I couldn't be there. I felt a bit frustrated when she started going out with Cullen, and I couldn't be close enough to her as they could...daily. I ended up being on the level of childhood friend that sometimes drives his father in wheelchair to their home. Not to mention I was a year younger. But yeah, that morning I realized...that it wasn't only bugging me than, that I never bought the "this isn't your fault, you are as good as he is, just remind yourself where you belong". That morning my dad told me that Cullens left. And the already forgotten stingy feeling in my stomach was back, stronger than before. She was...single. And most probably very lonely...gah! Jake, be ashamed, letting this make you happy...
He must have seen how I froze in my thoughts. He chuckled a little. I shook my head and reacted properly: "Erm...really? Why so suddenly?" Billy told me that Dr. Cullen got some great opportunity in LA and that they had to move out very quickly. We ate the rest of the breakfast in silence. Shall I go see her? Is my dad happy now when she finally is not with a Cullen? Isn't she now outing with friends wildly to get her mind of things? Wouldn't I be just...hassle?
"Hey, Jake, sure you are ok?" I heard Billy and saw him fighting laughter. I frowned: "Sure, why wouldn't be?" Billy raised his eyebrows and pointed at my lap. I looked down and saw that while I was deep in my thoughts all the jam from the knife that I held fell down right on my fresh jeans. I groaned and went to change before leaving for school.
It was just week after that, when I decided to go wait for Bella in front of her school. People...stared at me. But I didn't let it discourage me. I saw a girl from Bella's group, I saw her with them on the prom party last year. I paced towards them and smiled.
"Hello, erm...I am waiting for Bella Swan, is she...coming out?" I asked my hands in the pockets of my jeans. They looked at me and after checking me from head to toe with cautious eyes, questioning my right to stand on the grounds of their school, the blond girl pulled off a kind smile.
"She hasn't come to school since...they left." she finished her face fell a little with the ending. Oh sure, everyone was missing them but me?
"Oh." I let out. Bella was... not showing up to school for a week.
"Why? I mean...is she sick or something?" I tried my luck and asked for a second time.
The blond guy didn't bother with a smile, he made sure I saw that he really didn't like me here.
"She isn't answering our calls, and her dad says she has the flu."
Hah...sure. As if Dr. Cullen's presence was some kind of vaccination that expires if he crosses the borders of the city.
I just smiled back, said my thanks and on my bicycle and left. I went straight to Swan's house though.
It was just 2 PM, so I hadn't expected to see Charlie's car in front of the house, his shifts usually ends by 5 in the afternoon. But...I must admit I was glad when I saw it sitting in the driveway. Would she open the door since she is not even picking up the phone? I rang the bell, in a while Charlie came to open the door.
I was really shocked at what I saw. His face was pale, and...super tired. His eyes nearly bloodshot and the bags under them were shouting "let me sleep!" I lost track of the speech I prepared for when he opened the door and all that got out of me was.
"You look terrible."
He shrugged and left the door open for me. I entered, fisting my hands into the pockets and followed him to the kitchen, he was doing dishes now.
"How can I help you?" he asked not raising his eyes from the sink. I just as if by nature grabbed the towel and started to dry the dishes after him.
"I went to see Bella at school." I hinted.
Charlie looked at me, his face never changing the painful expression.
"She is...she's got the flu." he said sticking with the alibi. I was silent for a while, weighing my reaction. I didn't want to say the wrong thing right now, Charlie turns into a beast when he is desperate.
"C´mon...I know it's not true." I said after all. Charlie finished drying his hands and then with a deep sigh leaned against the counter raising his eyes towards me.
"I know. I just...can't take it Jake. She isn't sleeping, she isn't eating, she isn't moving, she isn't...speaking to me." Darn...that sounded far worse than I expected. I didn't know what to say.
"Are you saying she hasn't eaten or slept for a week?" I never though that humans are able to do that, but I was always a glutton and sleeping till lunch was my cup of tea. Charlie nodded.
"I mean, I went to ask the doctor, and he said to give her pills for the first few nights. That she would eventually get back to her old life. Tonight is the third night that I gave them to her. She looked grateful, I saw her taking them but...she looks like she didn't sleep anyway." he said.
"But Charlie, I mean...she isn't eating or moving for days, this is..."
"She eats bits, when I give it to her and stay there, talking. She smiles when I give it to her and pecks at it while listening to me. If she listens. And she takes a shower, sometimes in the morning, sometimes in the evening...sometimes at 3Am." he said with a heavy sigh again. And the heavy silence continued.
Charlie shook his head and probably felt the urge to be social, something he was never really good at and it was showing.
„How is Billy? I am sorry I missed this weeks match." he said getting a can of coke out of the fridge, handing it to me, and went to sit in the living room. I followed him.
„He is ok, there is always company to watch a match with." I assured him that there was no need to feel bad about it. Another heavy silence.
„Charlie, do you...think I can go up to see her? I can bring her some food, talk to her." I said prepared to fight the refusal I thought I would get with all I have.
„That'd be nice of you. You are the first friend that worries instead of getting pissed off that she is not picking up the phone. I gave those kids in her class more credit than I should have." he sighed.
„There is apple on the counter, just wash it and I am going up to tell her you are here." he said. When I got upstairs with the big red apple he was already tenderly knocking her door saying I was there.
She came to open the door and smiled at us weakly.
„Thanks Charlie." she said and gestured me to go inside. It almost felt as if nothing was wrong. Until I entered and took a second look at her. I looked her from head to toe...
„Duh." I said. Knowing she wouldn't expect anything else from me. She was even more pale, if it was possible. Deep dark bags under her eyes and hair she might have washed but I highly doubt it had been combed for … jeez ages, it added to her age maybe 20 years. 20 long years in a jail. She just shrugged her shoulders and crossed her arms on her chest, looking almost apologetic. Her eyes saying: „I am sorry to offend you like this, you can go if you don't like what you see."
„Apple?" I tried to get over the awkwardness. We never were awkward with each other, Ever. She took it and said her thanks in a low voice and went to sit in the chair in front of the window. There was a blanket and...the second I saw her sinking in it I knew she spent days sitting there. I turned to look on the bad, sure, tidy and untouched. As if no one was living in this room for weeks. Freaky...
I sat next to the armchair and started to babble about anything and everything. About how Paul is being weird lately, how the weird Sam is meeting more and more with elders. How it makes me and my friends angry cause he is just...weird! How I am bored in school, and I told her about the car I am fixing for myself. I will be turning 16 in no time and I want it to be done by that time. I never looked at her, never checked to see if she was listening, or if she is awake. I Just talked.
It was when I realized that outside it was already getting dark and I didn't know what to say anymore. I turned to the side and found her looking at me. Her expression unchanged bud she was looking at me with thoughtful eyes. Suddenly I realized how stupid and childish I was. Coming here thinking that I could try my chances on a girl that lived in totally different world, that used to be a close friend, but that was back then when we were running in La Push wearing only diapers. Being 15, wanting explore...sure. Stupid kid was I coming here today.
But at the moment I saw her eyes on me, when I looked into them and watched her so tiny and fragile sitting in old armchair with hands around her shins resting her chin on her knees... at the moment I suddenly felt something I never felt before. It was like that something was sleeping deep inside of me and suddenly woke up, as if something that was hidden somewhere deep inside of me burst open and filled my whole chest. I didn't know how, I didn't know why, I just knew that that was my purpose here now. I must make her happy. I must fix the world for her.
