Ruby

A lifetime ago, the most beautiful feeling was the material of her hood as Ruby ran it through her fingers. Smooth and reassuring, it hides her from the things she will never admit to being afraid of. It keeps her secrets, and keeps her hope. The most beautiful sound, was her sister's voice as Yang read to her. Stories of heroes and monsters, where good wins and her sister is always there beside her. The sound brings her peace, as it proves that Yang has not yet given up on her. It meant the world to her. The most beautiful sight was of her own Crescent Rose. It reminds Ruby of all the thinking and planning and hours slaving away forging her, and the pride and joy she felt once she finally finished. Of how all of the hard work putting her together was well worth it. And now she is no longer helpless, she now is a force to be reckoned with.

Now the most beautiful feeling she will ever know is Weiss' hands in her own, death and despair around them, but Ruby found her. She did it once she will do it again. They will always find each other. No matter what. The most beautiful sound she will ever know is Yang calling her name from the battlefield. Her sister hasn't forgotten her, her sister is going to be there and keep her safe. The most beautiful sight is Blake quietly reading a book in their dorm without her bow. The quiet declaration that Blake, a girl who knew nothing but to close herself off, trusted them enough to let them see her fully. Ruby always took little victories when she can get them, and to her, Blake letting them see her ears is the greatest gift she has ever received.

She feels lost, and hurt, very hurt. Ever since she's woken up her head has been hurting like someone was stabbing spikes in her eyes and through her skull. Her aura took care of most of the physical damage while she was sleeping, but her muscles ache all over and she's not sure if it's her ribs or her broken heart that is causing the pain in her chest. A part of her hopes it's the former, broken ribs she can handle, she can fix. Everything just feels so unfixable right now. She wants to believe that everything happens for a reason, but she's having trouble figuring out the reason for all of this. So much pain and destruction, and for what?

As far as she can tell, nothing good.

She just meanders around the house most of the time. She wants to visit her mother's grave, but for whatever comfort it might bring her, it just is a bad idea. While she holds all of her negative emotions close to her chest, the beowulfs will no doubt smell it on her. And with everything that happened, a lot of beowulfs will come. Any other time she might be thrilled at the thought of a fight. Heck, she's done it before. But now, she understands that she won't stand a chance. She's just hurts too much. And she doesn't want to die, not now. Not after they have lost so much, she can't do that to them. She doesn't fear death, but there is still a fight to be had, and she isn't going to go down now.

She probably should be resting. But to be fair, it's not like she's running or exercising. She just spends her days at her desk, running through book after book, map after map, taking note after note, putting off the nightmares as long as she can, and trying to keep her focus away from the reality she's living in. She can pretend she doesn't hurt, she's actually had more practice with it than people can believe. But the only way this is possible is if she keeps moving forward. She needs a problem to solve, she needs something to fix, she needs stay looking ahead. Because if she looks back for more than half a second, she will lose whatever composer she has.

Her partner is gone, her sister is depressed, her friend is AWOL, people are dead, her school is destroyed, and she is supposedly this really powerful warrior from the story books. Ruby is not okay. She is coping. Poorly, true, but at least she's being productive. She has a goal in mind, and she is going to accomplish it. Figure out what the bad guys are up to, and put a stop to it. Simple clear cut, but enough of a challenge to keep her thoughts away from darker things. And when she is finished with this project, she'll take on another, and another, and another until something forces her to stop. And really with Weiss in Atlas, Blake somewhere in the wild, and Yang refusing to even look at her, who can stop her?

She's good at running, it's hardwired into her as much as breathing is. And she won't deny that she is running now. From her problems, from the truth, it's all just so easy. Keep running, and nothing can hurt her. They gave her a reason to stop. They gave her a safe place to come back to. With them she didn't have to run because she knows they won't push her away or let her go. They were her rock, but now that rock is crumpled and scattered into the four winds, and she's just not coordinated enough to catch all of the pieces before they fly out of her reach. She can't say how much her failure hurts, because if she does, she'll be letting go of a secret that she has held close for so long.

She has to keep moving forward, Qrow said as much, and strange as he might be, he has a penitent for being right. That doesn't stop her from wishing that someone would stop her. She's playing a dangerous game, but she can't stop. She needs them to stop her. She wants Yang to say it's too dangerous, she wants Weiss to call her an idiot, she wants Blake to tell her to think this through. But none of them are going to stop her. Not this time.

Her world is red. It always has been, but once long ago, red was passion, red was power, red was love. Now all it is, is death, pain, and despair. It all feels so wrong. She hasn't felt this disgusted in a long while, she hasn't felt this alone. The red used to be a place of safety, now it's a constant reminder of everything that has happened. Her world tears between being silent with despair and deafening with the sounds that she can never unhear ringing in her ears. The sound of slicing metal as is Penny cut to pieces, Pyrrha choking on air with an arrow through her chest, Torchwick telling her to die.

She goes to Yang to try and replace the sounds ringing in her ears, but Yang remains silent. No matter how much she begs for her sister to come back to her, all she is rewarded with is Yang yelling at her to leave. The pain doesn't stop, and every time she goes, Yang seems further and further from her, and it doesn't matter how fast Ruby can run, she can't seem to catch up to wherever Yang goes in her long ventures of silent staring out of the window. No declaration of love will entice a response in kind. And after everything, she needs to hear it. She needs to hear that she hasn't lost her sister too.

For all the response she gets, she might as well have. And all she has is her father telling her that Yang is too strong to let something like this stop her forever. But Ruby doesn't know how to help, and she wants to help. She wants to do something for the one constant in her life. The one person who always believed in her no matter what. She wants to do something. But Yang makes it clear day by day that she wants nothing to do with Ruby. And as such, any healing Yang needs to do, Ruby is just getting in the way.

She thinks about Weiss from time to time. Is she okay? Is she thinking about her, missing her too? She sends a letter Weiss' way, but when or if the letter arrives is anyone's guess. Without the CCT, all communication has to go the long way, and patience has never been one of Ruby's strong suits. She has Weiss and Blake for that. She had, at least. She's not sure anymore. Right now, all of her questions go largely unanswered. She wants them, but she has no clue as to whether or not they want her. She's only getting bits and pieces of the story, and honestly it eats at her. This is why she loves weapons more than people. Weapons don't change, they can be fixed when broken, they can be replaced. Easy. People are anything but.

Weiss promised to be the best teammate possible, Blake promised that when things went bad she'd come to them, Yang promised to love her forever. Now, Weiss is so far from her side, Blake turned tail and ran when things are at their worst, and Yang doesn't love her anymore. Serves her right really, promises are useless things and she should know better than to take much stock in them. Her mother made them, her father made them, her old friends made them. It all ends the same. And it hurts, a lot.

She worries a lot. Are they warm? Are they eating okay? Are they safe? She has more faith in Weiss than in Blake. As the last time, Ruby saw Blake, the older girl was sobbing and begging forgiveness from Yang. And Ruby knows Blake, maybe not entirely, but she understands in a way that Weiss and Yang don't. She knows what it's like for every fiber in her being to scream at her to run. She knows how hard it is to stay for the fallout. She knows what it's like to give into the temptation. She knows what it's like to fear what she will return to. But she also knows the desperate longing to come back regardless. Blake will be back, it's really only a matter of time. They will hug, and Blake will apologize proper to Yang. They may shout, they may cry, but when that day is up, they'll be a family again. She'll have her rock back. One day.

Their father tries, but he seems so afraid of hurting her he won't touch her. A hug, a hand on the shoulder, none of it. He also won't talk about what happened that night. Fair is fair, she doesn't want to talk about it, not with him anyway. He makes tea whenever he gets worried about her or Yang, and suffice to say, she's had enough tea to last her a life time. He'll just give her this sad look and start brewing. A part of her wishes that they could go back to when she and Yang were kids and he would lift them onto his shoulders and they would all laugh, back when they were happy. But she knows it's impossible, too much has happened, and there is no going back. She just wishes he will hold her and tell her everything is going to be alright, and lie or not she wishes that she can believe him. She loves him, she does, but he's not who she needs right now.

Jaune surprisingly enough is really her only saving grace. His letters keep her going, and together they plan to keep fighting for the ones they love, for the loved ones they lost. It strikes her that they will either help each other toward salvation or will drag each other down a path of mutually assured destruction. It strikes her how little she cares, and how willing she is to toss that coin into the air and not watch it land. She now has a purpose and someone to share that purpose with. It is liberating. Keep running and no harm will come.

She's not doing any good here. She writes Yang a letter letting her know everything that she plans. Ruby owes her sister that much. If her sister chooses to read it, well, that's up to Yang. If she doesn't, then Ruby will know for certain that she lost her sister. She writes ghost letters to Blake and Weiss, just in case. She hopes to see them again. Maybe after she leaves, they'll realize that they still love her and still want to be a family and they will come for her. They will hold her, they will either stop her or help her, but as long as they're together, Ruby doesn't much care what they ask of her. To see her family whole again, her rock standing once more. She'd give them forever if she can. The three people that she loves more than anything else on Remnant, coming for her because they love her too. She just hopes they are fast enough to catch her.

And maybe her world can become beautiful again.

AN: there you have it, I have three more in the works and I will get them out as soon as possible. Please leave a review and let me know what you think. Ensia.