Author's Note: I do not own Gundam Wing, neither does Sylenctone, we just borrow the characters every once and a while.
This was my silly idea as I was driving home from work at 0244.
No tea was consumed during the writing of this fic.
I've added Sylenctone's response back to me at the end. Her part if after the dashes. Thought it was a fitting way to end it.

Revised for some grammatical issues and I have no clue what a Kitchen Gun is... that is because I left out a stategic comma. Lots of things makes sense in the middle of the night that really shouldn't.
If your curious here is what the gun looks like in my head... The orange tip has been conviently covered up.

Title: Insomnia

"Psst. Hey Duo wake up."

"Mmmm don't wanna."

"Come on wake up."

Duo rolls over and grabs his phone. "Come on Shan it is 0300. How about you go to sleep instead of getting me up."

"Nope, you have to get up so I can write this."

Duo grumbles and stealthily climbed out of bed taking great care not to wake the sleeping messy haired hunk in bed next to him. He picks up his flannel robe off the floor and slide his worn slippers on and slipped out the door. "You owe me big Shan."

"I know, I know. I promise a lovely PWP where you get to be top and Heero will, for some reason as yet to be determined, be your willing slave. That work?"

"It is a start." He grumbles some more and throws his robe over his bare body.

"Why were you naked."

"I don't know, this is your sick mind here." Duo trods into the kitchen as he ties the robe shut. "I'm not going to talk to you unless you come and sit with me."

"Meh, fine fine." I step out of thin air as Duo turns on the light.

"Want some tea?"

"Sure, tea sounds good and calming." The braided boy nods and fills the kettle up, plugs it in and turns it on. Then he fetchs two mugs and some herbally tea.

"So what's up?"

"Got insomnia."

"Thank you captain obvious. I kinda figured you weren't up at 0300 because you wanted to be. So what has got your mind running?"

"Well. A bunch of things."

"I'm still mostly asleep so take them one at a time."

"Ok. One is that AU fic I am working on."

"The one where Q punches me?"

"Yeah, that one. But I haven't gotten there yet."

"And why not."

"Takes a lot of thought and my brain isn't up for that kind of thinking right now."

"You should finish it. Sylenctone wants to read it. You keep baiting her. It is mean you know."

"I know. I keep working on it in my head."

Duo sighs. "It doesn't do anyone any good in your head Shan. And you are getting grumpy because you haven't written it down yet."

"Ok, how about we talk about something else."

He shrugs. "Fine by me. This is you twisted conversation."

I give him the finger, he laughs at me and I continue. "Then there was that thing I needed to drop off at work."

"You did that. And you thought of this monstrosity on your way back." The kettle clicks off and he goes and pours the water in the mugs.

"Yeah, but I think it is helping to calm my mind."

"Well I am glad my lack of sleep is helping you unwind." He brings the mugs over and places one in front of me.

"So what else is bothering you."

"Well there is the Japanese region Playstation 2 that I have…" I began to fiddle with the tag for my teabag.

"Oh you mean the one that you were going to trade to your mother so your sister could get it for Christmas so you could get an Xbox 360, so you can play the Legendary Halo 3 edition that you already have? And the same one that flew off the plastic drawer set while you and your hubby were installing your keyboard tray on your desk and landed upside down on the wooden floor?" He asked casually as he dunks his tea bag in the water a few times.

"Uh yeah. That one. I want to make sure it works still."

"Well you know you have to wait til your hubby wakes up since you so forgetfully left it where it fell so you could work with Sylenctone on the first chapter of the fic you wrote together even though you can't post it until Tuesday because of the strange rules for new account."

"Ok now your just being mean."

"You woke me up remember. Also, remember that my boyfriend still sleeps with a gun under his pillow. He'll come out here armed if he wakes up and finds me missing."

I grimace. "Yeah, I forgot about that part."

"Conveniently, I might add." He says smugly and takes a ginger sip of his tea.

"I'm tired."

"Why'd you have that cup of horrid coffee on the way home then. You knew you were wide awake and didn't need it."

"It seemed like a good idea at the time." I say as I too, take a sip of my tea. "Mmmmm Sleepy Time."

"I figured that would be fitting, circumstances being what they are. You're yawning."

"No I'm not." Knowing full well that I was.

"Go to sleep Shan. It is 0330. Turn Caboose Mark 2 on and load up some good sleepy time tunes and go into that bed and snuggle with your boy. Because I want to go snuggle with my boy." He whines slightly and took another sip of tea.

I took another sip as well. "I have to save this first and send it to Sylenctone to read before I post it."

He eyes me funny. "You're going to let this be the first fic you post?"

I shrug. "Why not?"

He shakes his head sadly. "There is no smut dear."

"Not everything I write is smut. In fact a lot of things I write aren't smut. I'm just good at writing it." I say a bit defensively.

"You're thinking about how to make this a smut fic right now aren't you." He asks with a smirk.

"Shut up asshole. Stop reading my mind."

"Dummy, you're the one that woke me, and you're the one who is writing out this conversation."

"Ok fine, frell you. I'm going to bed."

"Maybe you'll be lucky and he hasn't taken all the pillows and is sprawled out on your side of the bed."

"Shut up Duo." I knock back the rest of the tea, ignoring how hot it is. That is going to smart later.

"Will you two shut the hell up. Shan go to bed. Duo get back in bed." Heero snaps from the doorway to the kitchen, a gun pointed at me. "I am tired, you work up my boyfriend because you couldn't sleep and then you woke me up because you were talking to loud."

"I, ah, hi Heero."

"Don't 'hi Heero' me." He aims for my shoulder and pulls the trigger. An airsoft pellet hits it, stinging slightly. Ok, I'm glad he didn't bring the real gun out to play. "Get the hell to bed or I'll get the real one."

"Ok fine." I stand up. "Night Duo, thanks for talking. I think I can sleep now."

"Good. And try not to make a habit of this." He says as he walks over to Heero and takes the airsoft gun away from him and puts it on the table.

"I'll try." I say as Heero wraps his arm possessively around Duo's waist.

"Try very hard Shan." Heero growls at me.

"Eep. I will." And with that Heero spins Duo around and kisses him non-to-chastely on the lips. "Ok I'm going now." I poof from the room, leaving the boys kissing in the kitchen. You can use your imagination from there.

So at 0350 I bid you goodnight. Or good morning. However you want to look at it.

---------------

Twenty minutes later, in the apartment next door...

bebebebeeeep

"Mmrf"

bebebeeep

"Barton"

"Trowa, It's me"

"Jess? Wha? It's 0420. Shouldn't you be sleeping?"

"Well yeah. But you know me. Shan couldn't sleep either."

"..."

"Well she called Duo... Hey does Quatre really punch him in that AU she's writing?"

"Well ah..."

"Oh, come on! I need to know! She sends me these little teasers, dropping hints, calling me and telling me things that are gonna happen, but they are all out of order! It's torture!"

"Sorry Jess. You just have to wait til she writes it. We don't know what's going to happen any more than you do. Now why don't you go cuddle with that Nameless cat of yours and go to sleep, so that I can cuddle with mine?"

"That is what Heero told her to do."

"Well then you're just lucky I'm not doing it at gun point. And you're lucky Quatre isn't as light a sleeper or he'd be rather put out. Now. Go. To. Sleep"

"Yes Trowa. Goodnight"

"Good morning you mean. Sleep"

Click.

"Mmm Who was that love?"

"The authors are restless tonight. Sorry I woke you."

"Hmmm I think you need to apologize for the rude awakening. Hmm. Yes, I think you definitely need to apologize"

Fin

PS - If someone reads this :shrugs: who knows. But if you do. My question to you is: What exactly is Lady Une's first name? Let me know what you think. Some theories I have found say that Lady is her first name. Or that Une is really supposed to be Anne. But that doesn't fit b/c of Episode Zero and Middie Une where they pretty much say it is a surname. Thoughts feelings. Oh and feel free to comment on my bout with insanity.