A/N: This will be a short story and will be slow on updates although I have it mostly finished already. This is a story that is helping me to write through the writers block on a few of my other current WIP's. It will be an eventual Eric/OC but is focusing mainly on stories and other character relationship development for now. Hope you guys enjoy!
Disclaimer: As always, V Roth owns it all. I am just playing in her sandbox.
I'm alive; a revolution lies inside
I'm alive, no longer will this hate divide and I'll stand
I will fight just to survive, I won't be denied, I'm a warrior inside
This is the war between you and I, the is the end to your evil lie
And now you've pushed me to the edge, this is the rage in every tear I've cried
I'm alive, a revolution lies inside
I'm alive, no longer will this hate divide and I'll stand
I will fight just to survive, I won't be denied, I'm a warrior inside
No longer will this fear hold strong, no longer will this fight prolong
I'm bleeding through my skin, pushing through the lies within
I'm battling between tears and hate that I've seen
This is the war between you and I
This is the war and I will fight!
[Warrior Inside by Leader]
Scout
I could hear the voices as they started to get louder in the other room of the home I shared with my mother. Home was such a loose term for the crumbling building we inhabited. She had this saying she liked to throw out there anytime we were forced to move or when she got the urge to; home is where the heart is.
I used to believe in that but it had been a few long years since I believed the woman even had a heart. I had heard the rumors before I decided to find out for myself. Sometimes I wish I never had because I could never look at her the same way again.
"Have the group in Amity said they would come to a gathering yet? We need them if we are going to be able to establish a presence there. It is vital we get in where we can put pressure on the source of food."
Her voice droned on. Shooting out questions and barely letting her 'lieutenants' get in a word edgewise. I rolled over with a groan and put the thin pillow over my ears to try and drown out what I was sure would be a long night of planning and plotting.
Normally I would listen in, soaking in everything she said like a sponge. I knew this would just be a repeat of the same damn thing I had heard repeated over the last three nights. Evelyn was clever but she didn't think much of anyone else's intelligence. She seemed to have a habit of using the same speeches and lines to the various people that served under her.
Any intelligence I could get from listening, I already did the two nights prior when she spoke to the groups from Abnegation and Candor. Except with Abnegation the factionless need a eye for what is going on in the government and where the main supplies for the city are kept. From Candor the factionless keep eyes on the prison as well as some of the power players that can and have made laws that made it really hard on the factionless.
I also knew she had plans for Dauntless. It disgusted me what she thought she was going to be able to do and who she was going to try and use to get it.
I remember the exact moment I started to lose faith in my mother. The day my father died and all her true colors were revealed. I would say love, but honestly there was never much of that between us. She took care of me, after a fashion. But I think that had more to do with the fact that the factionless looked at me. I am the daughter of their former leader. The one that started to bring them all together and stopped the in-fighting. He was the one that thought to break the groups up and assign them specific areas. Something he did based on their old faction ties or aptitudes.
Robert Connor was a child of a former Dauntless dad and Candor mom. He took traits from both of them but it had been his charisma that had helped him make changes to the factionless. I barely remember him he has been gone so long now. He was killed when trying to help a few factionless women get away from the men that were mistreating them.
Not all factionless wanted the life he was trying to make for them. The ones that did and still do now follow Evelyn, as the wife of my dad. They follow her but I know now the reason she hasn't abandoned me, like I found out she did her son, is because they look to me as a symbol. As long as I am around, I remind them of him and the promise of a better life.
I don't know my dad's plans. What he had wanted to happen. Not for sure anyways but I don't think it is what Evelyn has in store. For the past year I have spent an agonizing time going back and forth on what I should do. What I could do.
Tomorrow I would take the first step in finding that out. Tomorrow I would be sneaking in to Dauntless for visiting day to see a brother I have known about for a little less than a year. Someone that doesn't know I exist or that our mother is even still alive.
The voices in the other room drone one, Evelyn's the loudest as always. I drown them out and force myself in to sleep.
XXXXX Page Break XXXXX
"Do you remember the plan?" A worried and grizzled bear of a man asks me as he fiddles with the black jacket he has just helped me to put on.
"I will wait in the corridor you are going to lead me to. You will pass the note through your contact. I am not to move from that corridor even when or if he shows up. You will meet me there after two hours and we will head back to Amity; where we will meet with your group there so we can establish where we have been in case Evelyn is watching out for me." I intone the plan, for the sixth time.
He lifts an eyebrow at me but nods his approval.
"Thank you, Damien." I say softly as I put a hand on his arm.
He gives me a smile. Even with a scar maring his right side of his face his smile is warm. "You don't have to thank me, Scout. I told your dad I would always have your back and I mean it. Besides, I know as much as you do this needs to be done."
He gave a nod of his head, signaling he was done with what he thought needed to be said. Damien was like an uncle to me. More like family than anyone else I had in my life. He was the one that had helped me find my brother, or half brother. He helped me to find out more information about him and the man that is his father.
A year ago when there had been rumors that reached me about Evelyn's son with Marcus Eaton I had determined I needed to find out more for myself. She had mentioned her ex husband from time to time to me. She always said that he was a monster that had caused her to lose everything, that he almost caused her to lose her life. She never once mentioned a son she left behind. She also never mentioned that the son she left behind suffered from the same treatment she had. Even now almost a year later I still have a hard time believing anyone much less a mother would do that to their child. Then I remember who the mother is.
Damien and I head out of Amity and towards the trains. We are dressed in Dauntless clothing obtained from a close friend of his in that faction. A man that Damien had once helped out of a tight spot when they were kids, along with my dad.
At first, Damien had been set on getting my brother a note and then us meet outside of Dauntless when initiation was done. That wouldn't work for me though. I needed to inform my brother about things and he would have choices to make. It was better to give him the information so that he could make plans.
Damien grabs my hand when it is time to jump. Making sure I am ok but also to give me support during the jump. I haven't done this too much. I like to stay away from the trains when I am traveling. Sometimes I catch rides with the Amity trucks. They are always pleasant to me. It also usually gets me fresh fruits or some kind of veggie.
The jump isn't bad but it leaves me shaken up. I always get that way when I am somewhere up high. Then we move quickly along a hidden path and into the belly of the beast, so to speak.
I fidget and squirm as I wait after I am deposited in a little used corridor and a even more unused room that has layers of dust and grime. I have always prided myself on the fact that I keep myself clean as well as any place I am staying. No small feat when you are factionless, which makes me all that more prideful of the fact that I am able to do so. I know that is bad, pride. But there is so very little to be proud of in my life. So small things bring me pleasure.
I run my hands over the slightly large but clean black clothing. My eyes glance over it to make sure that no amount of dirt or dust has made it on to them. I want to make sure I make a good impression and look my best for him.
I hear footsteps, tentative and halting - my stomach flips and turns.
What if he doesn't like me? I think in a moment of panic and tears burn my eyes. I try to push them and that thought and sudden worry away. It doesn't matter if he likes you. What matters is getting him the information he needs so she doesn't take advantage of him. It isn't about you. He has been made to suffer enough.
My internal chiding myself doesn't make me feel any better. A chill runs through me when I hear voices outside of the room.
"Look, Stiff, I told you this wasn't a good idea. What if he sent someone after you?" Is hissed outside of the door.
"Jesus Eric. I already told you he won't dare come near this place especially after that report from the clinic here. I think leadership might have threatened him or something."
"Should have done more than that to the prick." Is mumbled as the voices get closer. "Who could it be then?"
"I guess we're about to find out."
Two forms fill the frame of the door to the room I am in. Both of them tall but one is bulky and the other lanky. I can't make out faces at the moment but I know that my brother is the lanky one. Or at least he had that appearance the last I spied of him four months ago.
"It's just some kid." The hulk says in an amused tone.
I frown in his direction. "Excuse you but I am eleven years old. I am hardly a kid."
There is a snort before my brother steps forward and I see his face clearly for the first time. His eyebrows are raised in amusement and he crosses his arms over his chest, tilting his head. "My name is Four and this is Eric. What's yours?"
"I had heard you changed your name but wasn't sure to what. My name is Scout."
"Nice to meet you, Scout. Your note said that you had some important information for me that needed to be given to me as soon as possible. What is that?"
I swallowed and looked to the hulk that stepped forward, a scowl on his face as his eyes moved over me. It was like he was scanning me and looking for any information he could get by his inspection. A trait I recognized from Evelyn. One I also had.
I scowled at him before turning back to Four. "I didn't know you would be bringing someone, but I guess it was wise of you. I realize that this is all rather odd."
"You talk like a nose." Eric drawls out with disdain but his lips are twitching. "Yet you are wearing the black of Dauntless. You stand like a stiff though, hands behind your back and drawing into yourself. Making sure you don't bring notice."
My scowl gets a little deeper. Four gives Eric a look before turning back to me. "Anything you need to say can be said in front of him."
I nod and take a breath, looking at the floor. A memory of my father flashes through my mind, coaxing me across a crumbling stone path that had been the only way to get to our new home. I was just five years old. He had smiled at me and told me I was brave after I had lifted my chin and made my way slowly across.
I am brave.
I lift my chin and look into my brother's eyes. "My name is Scout Connor. Daughter of Robert Connor and Evelyn Johnson; formerly Eaton."
"Holy shit!" Eric exclaims while Four doesn't say anything.
"That can't be possible." He finally gets out in a strained whisper.
I nod and step forward, letting him see me a bit more clearly. I have the same general shape of face, the same dusky coloring of skin, the same tint of deep brown hair, but where his eyes are dark blue mine are caramel in color.
"I know that you were told that she died, and from what I can gather she almost did but it wasn't until after she already…" I trailed off and looked at his face.
He had gone pale and his lips thinned. His hands were clenched tight. It almost looks like he might pass out for a second.
I look around worriedly and spot places to sit.
"Do you need to sit? I can clean off a spot and…"
"I'll do it." Eric shoved past me as he mumbled angrily.
He started to move stuff around until he found a few chairs and began dusting them off with his hands.
"After she...what...ran off?" Four asked me in a low voice.
I looked at my hands and nodded. "I didn't know about you. I just wanted to tell you that. When I found out...I didn't know how to talk to you."
"Why now?"
"That is a fair question. There are several reasons the main one being, I wanted to know you. I understand if you can't or won't want anything to do with me after this but I had to try. I think if my father had known….he would want me to."
"Your father didn't know about him? I find that hard to believe." Eric said as he came back up to us after he got chairs cleaned off.
I moved to one of them and tried to rein in my temper. "My father and most everyone else only knew of Evelyn as Evelyn Johnson or Eve, as she went by when she met my father. So no...he knew nothing about her past. Most people that leave factions choose to leave who they were behind and do not talk about their past much. It was the same with her. It wasn't until after my father was killed that she began to let it be known who she was previously."
It was quiet as I let them both digest this. Four cleared his throat and was looking at me. I wonder if he was trying to see himself in me like I had been with him?
"You said there were several reasons. Can you tell me about the other ones?"
I nodded and looked again to Eric before continuing, feeling a bit uncomfortable saying all this in front of someone not 'family'. "I found out about you after hearing things around a year ago. I had help in trying to locate you. When I found out what had been happening...I confronted her. I was so angry and sick because I put it together that she had left you. That she had to have known it was going to happen, how could she not! She tried to tell me some bullshit that she thought because you are his son he wouldn't do the same to you."
My anger was building and I couldn't sit still anymore. "Such bullshit. I have seen the kind of man he is among the factionless. Making himself feel more powerful by preying on the weak. Blood wouldn't matter to a man like that."
"It didn't." Came his whispered reply. "So you don't believe her that she really thought I would be ok?"
I stop and look at him for long minutes. The question had been asked with a tinge of hope and I hated being the one to hurt him with the truth. My hatred of our mother deepened for me in this moment. "I believe she was able to convince herself of that - that she has convinced herself of that but deep down she knew. She knew but she didn't really care. Our mother…" my voice broke with my own hurt but refusing to cry. "She doesn't care unless it is convenient for her. I know you are probably looking at me and asking; why did she stay for her and not me? I know I would be if I were you."
"Smart girl." Is mumbled from Eric before Four sends him a glare, shutting him up and making the young man look down for a moment. A second of shame passed through his eyes.
I continued on not sure how I felt about my brother's friend. "She has never said it but the only reason she hasn't passed me off completely to someone else or abandoned me is because of who my father was and what he meant to the factionless."
I can see both young men are intrigued. Why wouldn't they be? They belong to a faction that is charged with the policing of my people.
"My father was born factionless but his dad was Dauntless and his mom was Candor. I am not sure what caused them to leave. They both left for various reasons though. Either way when they raised him it was with the belief that the factionless still had a place in the city and needed to act as such. That they couldn't expect to be treated like that if we aren't willing to behave and co-operate. He began to help unite them and tried to impress on them that we aren't animals. In an effort to maintain some kind of order, he also did his own version of policing. He had a saying, if you act like a rabid animal I will not hesitate to put you down like one."
Eric gave a bit of a feral smile. "Sounds like a hell of a guy."
I didn't know what to think of that. I sat blinking at Eric for a few seconds before Four put his hand on my arm and gave me a small smile, telling me to go ahead. Leading me to sit down again.
"He was a leader, or a potential one. They followed him and after his death, she wanted to take up his reins. They don't look at her like they did him. I think she keeps me around as a reminder of who she was with. As if she has taken up his cause with the promise I will step into his shoes when I am older. She even has had me taking lessons with various people he was close to."
"She sounds like someone I knew back in Erudite. Someone I hated." Eric spit out.
Four looked to Eric and raised an eyebrow, but Eric just gave him a nod back.
"It is probably because she was Erudite. She transferred to Abnegation but I am not sure why. I think it was to get a place or foothold in government. I get the feeling that Evelyn was always power hungry."
They both nod in understanding or agreement, I don't know which. "So why are you coming now? What information did I need to have?"
"I found out that she was pleased you went to Dauntless. Almost like she planned, expected or was counting on it. I don't know what that means or what she really has in store but I know that she planned to arrange a meeting with you after you finished initiation. If I know her, she hopes to use her relation to you to be able to get information from you. Possibly even weapons or training for the factionless. I don't know what she really wants from you Four; but I knew I needed to meet with you and at least tell you all of this. I can't imagine this being sprung on you, how you are feeling, and she would have. It would have been like an ambush and I couldn't allow that to happen. I owed you that at least."
"You didn't and don't owe me anything so please don't think that. I can't imagine you have had any better of a life than I have had. Although…" He stopped and he looked at me searchingly "I can hope to hell you haven't experienced what I have."
I knew what he was asking. I could even see Eric sitting forward slightly as if waiting for my answer. A stern and angry look in his blue eyes.
I shake my head. "No, I can say that at least I haven't had to deal with that. I have had my share of scrape ups and learned how to fight a bit but I have a protector of sorts. The only family I can and have claimed really. He was a good friend of my fathers growing up. They made a friend here in Dauntless when they were all just kids. That is who got you the message from me."
"Have you met him? Amar I mean?" Four asks curiously.
I shake my head. "No. I am told by Damien that he checks on me regularly but I have never met him in person. He has no more trust of Evelyn than Damien or I do to be honest. It took Damien telling him a little of why I wanted to meet you so badly before you became a member for him to agree to help as much as he did. I know it is dangerous what he is doing though. Please thank him for me if you would."
I could tell that everything was hitting Four hard. I would have excused myself and told him so, but it was not time for me to go. That my escort wasn't set to be here for another good hour or so.
Eric moved to say something in a whisper to Four then gave me a look before disappearing.
"You don't have to stay. I am fine on my own." I told him after a few minutes had passed.
He gave me a smile and shook his head. "I'll wait with you. It gives me time to get to know my little sister."
He said this with a shy smile and I felt the pleasure and my own wide grin spread across my face. His smile widened at that.
"I would like that." Suddenly I felt like the kid Eric had accused me of being. Especially when that same guy came back with his arms filled with things that brought a frown of confusion to my face.
Four and Eric spread the items out on a battered table they pulled up to the chairs. Then they began to point to and inform me what all the items were.
After eating my fill of the chocolate cake they brought; that they insisted I have before anything else, the burgers, a bag of chips and a drink called soda that had me hiccuping from the bubbles in it - the two young men began asking me about myself.
I guess I look a lot younger than I really am but my manner of speaking confuses Eric. I had to tell him that there were plenty of people to teach me among the factionless but that I also love to read. I get left on my own at times and my only companions are books and Damien; who is not very much of a talker.
"I thought your name sounded familiar." Eric said with a smirk. "We read that book sometime during my primary school days."
"I think we were even allowed to read that one." Four agreed.
I gave a shrug with a smile. I had just told them both that my name came from a book that had been read to my dad by his mother often. It was a favorite of hers apparently and the name had stuck out to my dad.
"Damien said it was…" I stop and search for the word "...prophetic. Something about how I am always sneaking about and looking for something to get into."
"It sounds like good skills to have considering." Eric mumbled around another slice of cake he was working on.
I wonder if there were anymore cake in Dauntless with how much the two of them had put away.
The visit passed too soon for me. Damien showed up and looked surprised to see two young men with me. He turned the glare he wore for everyone else up to full force as he looked both of them over. I think when he saw me, eating another piece of cake after being dared to, smiling and laughing; it made him not be so worried.
"It's time to go, peanut." He motioned with his head towards the door.
"Oh." Disappointment filled me. Also worry that this would be the last time I would see or speak to the brother I was already attached to. That was until Four stood and helped me up, he motioned to Damien for one moment then took me to the side.
"I meant it about wanting to get to know my sister. I still do. I don't know how often we can meet or how we will, but I promise I will see you again." His voice was earnest and he held one of my hands in his firmly.
"I would really like that, Four."
His smile matched my own and I got the feeling I had been looking for of looking in a mirror.
"Call me Tobias when we are alone, if you want."
I tilted my head and shrugged. "I like the name Four. Tobias sounds too much like you are in Abnegation still. How about I call you TJ when we are alone? I think I remember your middle name being James. That way if anyone overheard they wouldn't link it with your full name."
He nodded his agreement and then for a second hesitated before he hugged me gently. We were both a little stiff in it. It wasn't something I was used to really.
We pulled back blushing and he looked to Damien who was standing near Eric, looking annoyed as Eric was asking him something.
"I don't know what to think or feel about her yet, Scout. I think I am going to need a few days to really….just wrap my head around it. You know?"
I nodded, understanding then looked back over to his friend and mine at the door. "I understand. You said you trust Eric. Are you two friends?"
TJ tilts his head in thought and is thinking really hard. "I don't know that we are best friends but we have a mutual understanding now. We hated each other until our instructor and friend Amar put a literal boot in our asses for the crap we were pulling in and out of training." He shrugs and looks to Eric with a slight smirk at how Damien seems to be looking frustrated and perplexed by whatever he is talking to him about. "He understands a bit of what I went through and had some stuff happen to him. So yeah, I trust him."
"Maybe you two could talk about it then. Like get advice on how to handle it if and when she approaches you. I don't want you to think I am trying to manipulate you, but if I could make a suggestion?"
He nodded with frown to me. "You could see what she wants? Like I said..I don't know for sure what she wants but I know it will be something. She always does. I can also tell you...she is really good at playing to a person's feelings. I learned a long time ago that I had to look past that or you can get hurt when you find out it was all just to get her way."
"I'm sorry, Scout. I wish there were something I could do...someway we could be together."
I smiled sadly and shook my head. "It's ok. This is my lot in life. I just make the best of it. I think it will be better now." I grinned and looked at him with tears in my eyes. "Now that I have a brother I can talk to."
