A/N:
I don't usually take requests for stories. However, and idea suggested by Nightcrawler2000 in an PM email today got me thinking. He wanted me to write a story where Lee's tendency towards the Drunken Fist was first discovered at a party, and where Hinata would also be found to be a Suiken user, too. Well, while I didn't want to go that route, I did decide to do something somewhat similar.
The title is a play on words, of course. One based on the name people once used to convey the 'evils' of alcohol.
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Had an enemy chosen that time to strike with a powerful jutsu, it could have destroyed the future of Hidden Leaf village.
Most of the village's younger ninjas sat together in a newly constructed auditorium, along with any senior shin obi who wasn't away on a mission or stationed as a sentry. They all sat quietly for the most part, listening attentively to the speaker standing at o the stage.
"Not every village is like ours," Tsunade said, continuing with her monthly lecture to the assembled shinobi. "Let's say we're in one of the nations to the north. I stop the first adolescent who passes by me on the street and I give him money. When he asks me why, I send him to buy illegal drugs. At the same time, I give you money, and tell you to buy me a hot cross bun. Both of you would probably get back at the same time."
That had the ninjas talking amongst themselves until the Hokage banged on the podium.
"I admit, that is a bit of an exaggeration," Tsunade admitted. "But, you might be shocked to find it isn't really all that far from the truth. Despite the efforts of good people in other villages, drugs are available everywhere. Across all socioeconomic levels. In the ninja academies, in the trade schools, and at the work place. A recent survey secreted from the a high source in Amegakuretells a very worrisome tale."
"Hey, Granny Tsunade!" Naturally, that was Naruto. At least he raised his hand. He was getting better. "Why are you telling that to us? Nobody in Konoha has trouble with drugs. It's hard enough for a shinobi to stay alive as it is. Everybody I know wants to fight at their best!"
"You might be right," Tsunade said, one eyebrow twitching at the interruption. "Then again, you can only know so many people. The same goes for any one of us." She didn't intend to get the audience to begin feeling suspicious about everyone around them. But, take Naruto. He knew the members of Teams Kurenai, Asuma, and Gai very well, along with his own Team. But, from his own year, that meant he had spent time with the members of Teams Seven, Eight, and Ten. He had relatively little contact with Teams One, Two, Three, Four, Five, Six, and Nine. Not only that, but how well could anyone truly know their teammates? Who would have expected Uchiha Sasuke to run off with the Sound Four and make his way to Orochimaru? Early on, who would have expected Orochimaru to go as rotten as he had?
"But the people we know are good people," Sakura claimed. She truly believed that. Hadn't they fought enough bad people to know the difference? "They all have good parents." That is, those who still had both their parents. That certainly wasn't everyone. She hung her head, thinking of Sasuke.
"The people in Kumogakure, Kusagakure, Kirigakure, and other villages think the same thing," the Hokage replied. "None of them want to suspect their family, friends, or fellow villagers." She looked around the room, wondering how many of the shinobi might have substance abuse problems. She wanted to believe that they were all clean, but had to be realistic. In any case, the whole purpose of the talk was to make them all think. "In some nations, the average age of first drug use among the civilain population is thirteen. In their villages, over fifty percent of civilian teenagers have tried drugs. About one in three have tried a drug other than marijuana." She still had a hard time believeing those figures. "Drug use amonst shinobi is much less, as you might expect. But, the numbers are climbing there as well."
"Ahhhh-hhh-hh-h…." Lee stood up, eyes ablaze, standing in one of his characteristic poses. "I cannot believe that is true. The burning light of youth cannot be that dim!" Despite everything that he had been through growing up, teased because his inability to perform genjutsu and ninjutsu, he always tried to see the good in people.
"I am not making things up," Tsunade said firmly. "In Getsugakure, nearly one civilian school senior out of sixteen will have tried cocaine or crack. One third of fourth-graders will succumb to peer pressure and try alcohol or marijuana. The drug use amongst girls is almost as high as that amongst boys." She sighed. It was a sad fact of life. Things had changed so much from when she was a Genin. "In the past, in other nations, a drug addict was seen as a degenerate. Now, in the media, drug use is seen as something routinely done at social gatherings or parties. No one wants to listen to authority figures. All they care about is fast-living and big-money. Sex. Drugs. Alcohol. Everything." She paused, looking over the crowd, making certain she had their attention. "Shinobi are by no means excluded."
The Hokage did not mention the fact that she and the elders did their best to exploit the growing issues in enemy villages. As a medical ninja, her actions sometimes left her feeling sick, wanting to reach for a bottle. How ironic was that? But, as the leader of the Hidden Leaf village's ninjas, she needed to do whatever was necessary to keep her people safe. Drug abusers and alcoholics made good informants, when they weren't spies posing as such. The most she could do was to convince the elders that they should pay their stool pigeons with money, not drugs and alcoholic beverages. There was only so far she was willing to go.
"The whole topic is bothersome," Shikamaru grumped. He didn't do any of those things, and could see no logical reason why anyone else would want to. He only knew three people with addictions. Choji, with food. Naruto, with ramen. And Hinata, with Naruto. His frown deepened when Ino shushed him. He shook his head when Choji offered him a snack bag for the umpteenth time.
"So, why are more youths turning to drugs?" Tsunade asked. She answered her own question. "One reason is lack of self-discipline, leading to a lack of internal control and responsibility. This is becoming a growing problem in families who have lost parents in skirmished and large scale wars." None of the Hidden villages, or the other towns with heavy ninja populations, was immune to the sad facts of battle. "Other children lack motivation, or spend a lot of time dwelling on unhappiness, dissatisfaction, depression, anxiety, and boredom. Those kinds of feelings are seen in teenagers who have a negative picture of themselves, and see everyone else their age as being better. You'd think that ninjas by their very nature would be immune to many of those troubles. They're not."
"I'm... I'm feeling better about myself..." Hinata rubbed her fingers together . "I would never let myself get involved in something wrong." She had once felt very badly about herself. But, thanks to one special person in particular, she managed to see herself in a much better life. She wouldn't have fallen into that kind of trap, would she, if Naruto hadn't helped her like herself more?
"Many of the people with problems have trouble socializing," Tsunade added. "They don't have many friends, and the friends they do have are friends only in a superficial sense. They feel isolated from everyone around them. Some will do anything to fit in, or to get attention."
"Soundlike someone we used to know?" Kiba said to Shino, looking back at Naruto. He used to make fun of the other boy, until the village's noisiest ninja had beat him at the Chuunin exams, and started earning his respect. Learning about his friend's life prior to the Academy, he had begun seeing his own hardships in a different light.
Naruto scratched at the back of his head. Tsunade's last remarks had him thinking back to his earliest memories. He was so lucky to have good friends now. For a long time, there had been no one to love and no one he could trust. Much of his time had been spent acting up, trying to get someone to notice him. No, it hadn't been drugs and alcohol for him. It had been paint brushes and the stone Hokage faces. Would he have tumbled to drug use, had that kind of thing been made available to him? He doubted it. But, there had been times when he hated everything about his life, and had been looking for some kind of escape.
"There can be any number of reasons why teenagers abuse drugs or alcohol," the Hokage said. "One universal reason is experimentation. For example, in Yukigakure, almost all civilian teenagers try either alcohol or drugs. In most cases, where the person is only experimenting, the behavior goes away. If it does not, the experimentation is followed by occasional use. If that continues, it gives way to regular use. Regular use often leads to dependence." She was very glad that the numbers of patients in her clinic with the latter problem was very small. "Peer pressure is a powerful force, too. Some youths feel a need for rebellion. Others suffer from a severe lack of self-confidence. For many people, drinking alcohol makes it easier to relate to their peers, or to members of the opposite sex."
"Does Shino have an opposite sex?" Naruto said that to Sakura, knowing it would rile her up. She was sitting there with one of her superior looks, and that irked him no end. "I mean, does anyone know what sex he really is?"
"Naruto!" Sakura shouted before she realized she had raised her voice. "You jerk!"
"Sakura," the Hokage said, her voice snapping like a whip. "I don't think any of us here need a demonstration on the difficulty that some girls might have relating to boys." The vein at one corner of her forehead began pulsating. Sakura should know better. Then again, thinking back to her own past, she remembered how hard it had been to keep her cool around one particular teammate.
"I'm… I'm sorry, Ma'am…." She slid down in her seat. The look she gave Naruto promised payback. Her 'Inner Sakura' turned beet red with embarrassment, before seeping into a crack in her imagination.
"She's so predictable," Naruto said to Sai, feeling a bit guilty at the results. He hadn't meant for Sakura to call out. Sai simply closed his eyes and smiled. It was funny, Naruto talking about someone being predictable. Sometimes his orange-clad teammate was the most predictable person on earth. At other times, even the gods must have trouble guessing what he might do.
"Just like we have no need for anyone instigating trouble." Tsunade's eyes pinned Naruto to his seat the way a butterfly is pinned to a collector's board. "This is a very serious topic. It is not a laughing matter. Anyone who I think is making light of things will stay for private lectures." She didn't want to sound too hard-assed about any of this, since that might end up defeating the purpose of it all. On the other hand, it was never in a Hokage's best interest to allow any kind of insurrection, no matter how small. And, she could not play favorites, regardless of how fond she might be of the perpetrator.
Sakura pulled down one eyelid and stuck out her tongue at Naruto. That had him crossing his arms and looking away. But, he soon smiled, seeing Sai draw a remarkable likeness of Sakura on his omnipresent sketch pad. He would have copies made, and would post them on the lamp posts about town.
"Where was I?" Tsunade tapped a finger against her cheek. "Oh. Yes. Some teens will get involved with drugs or alcohol to mask their feelings of depression. Others will do the opposite. They will get involved because the substances make them feel good." She scowled, looking to the back of the room. Damn. Just what she needed to see. For some reason, Jiraiya had blown back into town. He was standing at the back of the auditorium, leaning against the wall. "Being a shinobi of the Leaf requires discipline. It requires motivation and obedience. It requires confidence, good interaction amongst teammates, and the ability to put others first. As long as you all possess those characteristics, you will be less likely to fall into the traps that have caught so many others." She paused again. "It is very important that you have good examples in your life."
Jiraiya shook his head. No doubt there was a personal message there, just for him. While he was not a plaster saint, he was not a deviant either. Well. At least, not when it came to drugs or alcohol. Yes, he imbibed more than his share of Sake. But, he never let it get in the way of being a great ninja. Right? That's what counted, wasn't it? Besides, a little sake here or there helped with his research!
"Huh?" Naruto tugged at one ear and turned around. Squinting, he pointed, eyes going wide again. "Hah! Ero-Sennin!" The Legendary Sannin had taught him a great deal, even though he did not always show evidence of what he had learned. But, at the same time, he had been about the worst example possible, when it came to boozing and wenching. "He wasn't a very good example!"
"Don't call me that," Jiraiya said under his breath. He frowned and clenched his fists, fighting the urge to summon a large frog and have the thing shoot out its tongue, wrap it around the blasted boy, and smack his bottom repeatedly on the floor. After all he had done for that brat!
Her introductory comments done, the Hokage went on to focus on the topic of alcohol. The members of the crowd were all Genin and above. But, she had also begun giving similar lectures to Academy students, knowing how important it was to get the message out before children reached their teenage years. It was not a comfortable topic for some parents to give, just like many fathers and mothers had trouble discussing the birds and the bees. But, it was too important a topic to ignore altogether, in case the young shinobi and shinobi-to-be didn't get that message at home.
"I hope that those of you who lead your own groups will serve as councilors wherever and whenever necessary." Tsunade hadn't needed to be told such things when she was younger. Either had Orochimaru. But, she couldn't help but wonder how Jiraiya might have turned out had Sarutobi discouraged his habits, rather than reinforcing some of them. "If you do, don't mount personal attacks, deliver sermons, or hold some big team meeting to discuss the subject. I'm doing that today, only as a starting point. For you, instead of taking a 'big talk' approach, I suggest that you look for opportunities in everyday conversations to develop a dialogue with your students. Keep the lines of communication open, without resorting to any kind of condemnation." She sounded every bit the leader, standing there. But, having spent many nights in bars and gambling houses, she felt a bit hypocritical saying what she did next, even though she had cleaned up her act after donning the tri-corner hat. "There's one very important thing to remember. Teengers see everything. So, you can't just preach the message, you have to live it. You need to be that good example I mentioned earlier." She looked back at her fellow Sannin again. "Even if you made mistakes when you were younger, you can show them that you learned from your mistakes."
Standing there, Jiraiya felt a twinge of conscience. He had not served as a good example for Naruto. Before, when they were together, that fact never really bothered him. After all, as great a man as Sarutobi had been, he still had his vices. And, hadn't Jiraiya taught Yondaime? The Fourth had been a fine figure of a man! But, what if Kakashi was right, and Naruto had the potential to surpass Konoha's Yellow Flash? He hadn't started the boy down some bad path with his 'Do as I say not as I do' attitude, had he?
The Frog Hermit stood there lost in thought as Tsunade's voice droned in his ears. As he dealt with his own inner demons, the Hokage continued speaking about the demon alcohol. She didn't bother using the argument that trying a 'milder' drug like alcohol means that the user will soon be shooting heroin. None of the ninjas in the audience would be scared by that kind of domino theory, because they would never have seen it happening in real life. Instead of scary theories, she gave them facts. She informed them of the medical risks. She told them how an impaired ninja was a great risk to himself and to the ones who depended on him. That was easy enough to understand, seeing how much could happen in the blink of an eye, when shinobi battled shinobi. The slightest bit of hesitation, disorientation, or distraction could mean the difference between success or failure, and life or death.
By the time the talk had finished, Jiraiya had already left the building. He waved a hand around his head, as if he were swatting away gnats. He wasn't. It was that damned conscience again. Naruto had never really had a father figure. In a way, Jiraiya had been that for him during their time together. He smiled, remembering the times he had split a popsicle with the boy, or did something else that had strengthened the bonds oftheir relationshop. He really was fond of the young scamp. Fond, and very proud. Naruto carried a heavy burden, and had been through some very tough times. Just the same, that indomitable spirit continued to shine through.
"Hmm-mm-m…." The Frog Hermit scratched under one armpit, making a face as he pondered an idea that struck him. Tsunade had given a rather comprehensive talk. Just the same, even though she had prefaced things in many ways, it all still sounded too clinical. It still might work. But, there was room for improvement. No. Not improvement, actually. Practical experience. "I have just the thing."
One of Jiraiya's favorite cocktails was called a 'Green Demon'. It combined three parts Bacardi LimÛn and one part Pisang Ambon mixed with a lemon-lime carbonated beverage, poured over a glass packed with ice. He had also downed more than his fair share of a Wakatake sake bottled under the name "Onikoroshi,' which means 'the Demon Slayer.' But, that was neither here nor there. He wasn't concerned about a drink named after a demon, or a bottle with the word 'demon' on the label. No. He needed to literally dig up something from his past. A demon in a bottle.
Paying a farmer a few coins, he pulled himself up onto the back of a hay cart leaving the village. At one point along the road, he hopped down and shielded his eyes from the sun. Yes. It was in that direction. One of the areas that the Third used to take them to train, before he was named Hokage. The forest would give way to an old ruined settlement from long ago. There was a deep and dry well there, one that he had fallen down after one particularly strong punch from Tsunade. He had found something there. When he later grew tired of it, he returned it from whence it came.
"It's not like anyone really fears that Yamata no Orochi will get lose again." Jiraiya made his way past crumbling stone huts and a small graveyard. He wondered what life had been like for the inhabitants of the small village, one that had been attacked by the great Bijuu much the way that Konoha had been ravaged by Kyuubi. "But, it was best that I left the bottle there, just in case." It hadn't entirely been his decision. Tsunade had broken one of his arms and three of his ribs when he misused the ancient artifact.
As a learned man and traveler, the perverted Sannin had heard many tales. One legend had Orochi being slain by the god Susanoo. As the story had it, the great monster was supposed to have ravaged a faraway province, demanding virgin sacrifices. He shrugged. "What was wrong with that?" He wished that he could do the same, just in a different way. When Susanoo was making his way through the unfortunate land, he met an old couple. They told him that their daughter Kushinada was to be sacrificed to the horrid beast, following in the footsteps of her seven late sisters. He fell in love with the girl, and promised to rescue her, if the parents would give him her hand in marriage.
Naturally, the old couple agreed. Susanoo turned Kushinada into a comb and put her in his hair. He then put out eight barrels of sake which the dragon drank with great glee, causing the evil creature to fall asleep. He then proceeded to cut off all of Orochi's heads and found the sword Ame-no-Murakumo in one of the serpent's many tails. In other versions of the tale, the sword was called Kusanagi-no-Tsurugi, 'The Grass-Cutting Sword', and was given to Amaterasu, Susanoo's sister, as a gift of reconciliation.
Yes, many myths and legends had some basis in truth. That had Jiraiya feeling a pang of sadness, which he quickly brushed away. Thinking of the Grass Cutting sword had him thinking of Orochimaru. The other Sannin's sword had nothing to do with the real Orochi, the strongest of the Bijuu after Kyuubi. Rubbing his nose, he wondered if his former teammate might have been named after that eight-headed monstrosity.
"Although, the drink in the bottle did knock old Snake Face for a loop," the Frog hermit said, reminiscing. The drink he spoke of resided in the bottle he was after. Stopping at the remains of the old well, he performed Kuchiyose No Jutsu and summoned a large toad. Wrapping its tongue around his waist, he had the giant amphibian lower him into the dark depths. After moving around a number of boulders the size of his head, he felt something smooth and cold. Yes. It was the item he was after. Tugging on the tongue, he was hoisted back out into the light.
"Yo... Susubori… long time no see." Jiriya used the corner of his long robes to brush the dirt and dust off of the green glass bottle. It was large, nearly as tall as he was, done up with fancy whorls and ridges of an art long forgotten. He couldn't help but wonder just how old the container was. "I have a better use for you this time."
Amanojaku are a type of Japanese demon. While they show up less frequently in stories than oni and other yokai do, they were real while the others were the products of man's imagination. Likewise, they were very different than the Bijuu and other creatures that were considered demons in this day and age. The 'Imps of Heaven' had once run free, spreading their mischief wherever they pleased. But, some unknown forces had sealed them all away, putting them in numerous places, like the demonic faces carved on armor, or the footstools of great rulers. Susubori was just such a demon, and had been placed in the bottle. No, not in the liquid it contained, but in the very glass itself. As a bottle, he was beautiful. In his natural form he had been squat and ugly, able to change his shape into anything he chose.
"I hope you don't hold any grudges." While Jiraiya hadn't put the demon down the well in the first place, he had returned the bottle there after making some use of the demon's powers. But, in a lifespan reaching eons, what was a few decades? Besides, while some amanojaku served as protectors, most were pranksters by nature. The expected to get as good as they gave. "Well, I'm glad to hear that." The demons were also telepathic. The one in the bottle was simply glad to have something to do other than sit buried under a heavy layer of stone. "You will get a chance to use your special talents again."
In reality, it had been Susubori who had played a major role in the capture of the real Orochi in years long past. And, it had been Susubori who had allowed a reckless young Genin to play tricks on his teammates, back in the day when Tsunade was relatively flat-chested, and Orochimaru had yet to delve into forbidden jutsu. One of the great abilities of the demon was to create a never-ending supply of liquor within its bottle. Another ability left that liquor with a very special property. It would taste like something other than an alcoholic beverage, usually taking on the flavor of the persons' favorite beverage.
That was a very useful effect. Better yet, Susubori could influence the actions of anyone drinking the liquid, much the way that the alcohol itself might do. Thinking back to just such a time, Jiraiya chuckled, picturing Orcochimaru with a beatific smile on his face, flapping his wings like a butterfly, running and leaping in a field of yellow tulips. That had been classic. Unfortunately, Tsunade seemed to immune to the effects of the drink and the demon. His attempt at getting her to do a sexy strip tease was what had earned him his beating that time.
"Yes, there will be plenty of people to fool, this time." Jiraiya strapped the bottle alongside his huge scroll case. It was time to head back to Hidden Leaf village. "But… now… it's for a good cause." While mischievous, Susubori was one of the amanojaku that drew the line at cruel and mean-spirited tricks. He was in the minority. "There are some young men and women who need to learn about the evils of alcohol." Just the thought of alcohol had the Sannin shaking his purse. Good, there were plenty of coins left. In honor of his reunion with the demon, he would buy a mixed drink called amanojaku sake, which was made up of sake dregs, sugar, water, and salt. He was sure that Susubori would see the humor in it.
Trudging along as the sun slowly dipped below the horizon, the perverted hermit held an ongoing psychic conversation with the demon. He never ceased to be amazed at how many things Susubori had seen in his days, before he had taken up his long residence in the well. But, as good a 'talker' as he might be, the demon proved to be a poor listener. Or, maybe it was merely the it was the subject of the stories the Frog hermit chose to tell.
"And then, there was this woman with breasts the size of large honeydews…." Jiraiya didn't care if the demon listened or not. It was a long walk. He felt like talking. In a way, this was better than sharing his knowledge and stories in the Icha Icha books. Susubari would remember the tales as long as he existed. "Hey! Susubori! Do you know any dirty limericks?" If the demon did know any naughty poetry or stories, he could gather up plenty of material for a new book.
Finally, long after most of the village had long since gone to sleep, the tired old hermit made his way through the Great gate of Konoha. Nodding to the ninjas on sentry duty, he yawned and gave up the idea of getting anything to wash down the dust of his travels. There was a bed with his name on it.
"Tomorrow, I will find out what I can." He wanted to know when Naruto and his friends were going to hold their next party.
