Neon Genesis Evangelion

Pilot's Table

By D.A.

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Title: I Am (With) You

Prompt: Set 1 / Prompt 46 (Hollow)

Word Count: 3400+

Rating: T

Summary: The more she thought about it the more she realized the emptiness wasn't from personally losing to the Angel, but because she just might have lost Touji to its defeat.

Disclaimer: I do not own Neon Genesis Evangelion or anything connected to it.

Notes: Still inspired by "The Cat Who Walked Through Walls" by Laryna6, I felt like expanding a touch of my own take. Also: Ramiel and Remiel are technically the same angel, but in my 'verse they are separate; Ramiel is the Angel of Thunder, while Remiel is the Angel of Mercy in SEELE's 'scrolls'.

Part One of the "Stand Alone" story arc. Set in an AU of my "Angel" and "I'm Needed: Redux" stories.

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Asuka hovered in front of Unit-One, the catwalk several feet below her while she glared face to face with the beast wrapped in metal. The warm and lonely thrum of power from her Core can be felt throughout the Cage, and she was alone but for Misato watching unnoticed from the control room above the Evangelion's head. This was not the first time she had found herself in front of the massive cyborg clad in her Plugsuit since coming to Tokyo-3 to fight the Angels, but it was the first time she had been allowed to approach it since her Core had activated and she was revealed to be an Angel herself.

Snorting, the redhead lowered herself to the catwalk and turned around. Leaning against the railing, she pulled her AT-Field back in and the thrum slowly left the room. She had long since healed from the injuries given to her through her synch with Unit-Two in the battle with Zeruel, her Core regenerating the damage completely by the time she had been pulled from the Entryplug once Unit-One had shutdown. Touji, however, was now lost somewhere inside the Unit's core, absorbed in his last-ditch attempt to stop Zeruel before the Angel could finish off Asuka and the human race soon after.

Physically she was fine, not even a single scar, but the hollow feeling in her chest had yet to leave her. Neither had the unwanted companion in her skull.

You wish for completion. the voice was monotone, bland, seeming to echo faintly within her mind.

"F_ck off Ramiel."

The All-Mother is near, you know this. And it never stayed quiet when she wanted it too.

"I'm not hitting the planetary Reset Button just because you feel cheated!"

Feeling cheated would require that a rule had been broken. You are the one denying that which you are.

"I'm ME, d_mn it." Asuka sneered, the mental conversation unnoticed by the purple-haired major watching her, "You're some glitch in the program that piggy-backed onto my OS when I killed you, and started up when my core came online. A flying, polymorphing octahedron, seriously?"

My form was best suited to altering planetary surfaces and diverting orbital debris. But that is not the point of the dialog. You now occupy my place in the terraforming que, why do you ignore it?

"Because-I'm Not You!"

The cage echoed, her voice enhanced by an emotionally charged pulse of her Core, and Asuka spun around to glare at Unit-One.

"I'm not a piece of advanced colonizing bio-machinery! I don't know what to do, Touji!" her eyes flashed blue as the thrum of her Core once more filled the massive chamber, the warmth replaced by a sorrowful chill, "I don't have any clues! Or programming! Or divine prophecies!"

You wish the return of a Lilium? One who occupies a pristine world which should be yours?

Asuka screamed, anger at Ramiel's echo and a mix of confusion, frustration, and loneliness filling it as she instinctively wrapped her AT-Field tightly around herself. Then she tore off down the catwalk and out of the cage.

0o0o0o0

"Major? Should we do...anything?" Maya's hesitant question drew Misato attention away from where the redhead had been standing and to the screen in the console before her.

"No, Maya." Misato sighed, "Let her be... Just continue with the recovery operation..."

Tuning out the other woman's reply, Misato turned back to Unit-One. Please let this work, she thought, ignoring the tears that collected in her eyes, I don't want to see her hurting. She... she's my daughter, I just want her to have a little happiness.

0o0o0o0

She ran for what must have been several hours, her Core powering her past normal human exhaustion while Ramiel's voice echoed in her mind, before she reached the lookout point Touji had taken her to not long before she found out she was at least part Angel.

Oh, how she hated her mother Kyoko then.

It was sunset -the same as back then- with the sky gradually shifting from a warm orange to soft purple, and despite the hole big enough to swallow four 'normal' city blocks the slowly rising fortress city was just as beautiful as the last time she'd watched the night swallow it.

But the emptiness had not left her the way it normally did when she ran, and the view and its memories only seemed to make it worse. So as she leaned against the railing, which somehow managed to remain untouched despite the many Angel generated blasts, she found herself at once more angered than she could ever remember being in her short eighteen years and so drained she wished to simply let the world crumble around her.

And it was in this state that another redhead found her.

"So, you just gonna sit there moping, or do something about it?" the snide remark startled her from her staring contest with the unblinking city, and spinning around she found herself face to face with a broken doppelgänger of herself.

"Allo Asuka-Remiel." the sneer on her face belittling, and tone to her voice bitter, the Other-Asuka stood her ground. Left arm propped on her hip, right arm wrapped in pristine white bandages hanging by her side, black patch over her left eye, and bandages painted red to match the suit wrapped around her stomach.

Cursed One... Ramiel hissed in her mind, a Reset gone wrong, twisted far passed its intended Purpose.

"Who are you?" curious, wary, Asuka side-stepped away from the railing as she eyed the Other. "You're- you don't belong here..."

"Very good," Other-Asuka gave a few, slow claps, "I'm not alone either, but He is a bit busy talking to the stooge you've chosen this go-around. And She is keeping the Angels on pause, so to speak, so we can get this over with."

"Get what over with, why are you even here?" she snapped, the air filling with the threatening, heated thrum of her Core as her emotions twisted.

Kill it, find the others and kill them. anger slammed against the wall between her Self and what little of Ramiel remained, Twisted being beyond help, defiler of bountiful worlds!

"Oh, so I'm still a firebrand here, hmm?" Other-Asuka moved around slowly, eyeing Asuka like she was looking at a small child, "You can put that away, it won't do you any good against me."

"As if! Get away from us!" her eyes flashed and Asuka fired a blast right at the otherworldly copy of herself.

Only for the blast to simply stop against a shimmering wall, echoing with a faint chime and vanishing as if nothing had passed between the two young women.

"I told you."

Voice bland, a faint gesture of her hand and another shimmering wall slapped Asuka's hastily deployed AT-Field, knocking her several feet to the side though she remained standing. Glaring at her doppelgänger, the Other-Asuka merely watched in return without expression, and Ramiel's rant cut silent in the face of Other-Asuka's display.

"Go away!" Asuka snapped, every bit of frustration from the last day poured into her voice. Arms akimbo, feet planted, she glared at her Eldritch double as unnoticed tears began to fall from her eyes, "You're worse than I was! Do you even care about Him?!"

"Don't speak of what you don't know." cold, calm, Other-Asuka stood still and relaxed, "You want him back? You'll have to accept what you are."

"I know what I am." Asuka growled, her suit's comm buzzing and unnoticed, her eyes a brilliant glowing blue, "I'm the last Angel now! I'm what I've been raised to fight!"

"Still so young..." the Other whispered, blue eye softening as she watched, "You're lucky, you know."

"How am I lucky? Everything I've believed, everything I've known is suddenly upside-down!" she raged, taken aback at the sudden change, angrily brushing the tears from her eyes only for more to flow, "And the one person who seemed to keep everything sane is trapped in that f_cking monster!"

"So young..." She sat, soles of Her feet touching and knees slightly raised to either side as She watched Asuka shake in outrage with her luminous eyes watery, "He loves you, Touji does. From the beginning, though he didn't realize it fully until today."

"Wha-?"

"It took Instrumentality for Him to realize He loved me, and then it was rather too late." She sneered, though not as harsh as before, "And then She stepped in and showed Us just how much We had failed."

"Third Impact wasn't enough evidence of failure?" Asuka bit out, still trying to grasp the revelation that Touji loved her.

"Oh, make no mistake mini-me," gazes locked, She tilted her head slightly and continued to watch, "We knew we'd failed when Lilith rose and took the life of Earth into herself. Lucky for us, She was in control and handed it to Him."

"Who are you talking about? Quit using riddles!"

"You don't need Their names." Other-Asuka snapped, standing, "I'm not you, though you see me as I was at the End. You wouldn't know Them either, not as We are now. We, and our humanity, pay a price for our hubris.

"Do you know how many times We have watched us try to stop Instrumentality?" She continued, her eye glowing red and a blue sphere set in the center of her suit's chest lighting, as a thunderous thrum filled the air, shoving Asuka's field back into herself, "I've lost count! Every time we let our selfish interests cloud our judgement and the puppet masters throttle the life from the world only for it to reset in a new fashion and start all over!

"This is possibly the first time one of the Chosen has fought for another without selfish intentions!" spinning away from Asuka, She crossed her arms, "And I've HAD IT with watching all of you mope like He did before the End."

"Then tell me what to do!"

"YOU KNOW WHAT TO DO!"

Spinning back to face her, Other-Asuka allowed her to see the tears pooled in the corner of Her eye. She stood, tense frame seeming to vibrate in time with the thrum of Her aura, as She glared hatred and envy at Asuka. They stood, younger Angel staring in disbelief at her glaring Eldritch self.

How could she respond to that? What could she say to someone who had watched the world die countless times only to die again, and honestly grieved for the lost?

So very broken inside... was Ramiel's quiet opinion, a delicate shifting at the edge of her thoughts, Perhaps... I miscalculated, and she is not the threat I perceived to this world. Perhaps that is me.

"What..."

We shall test this theory. Good luck, Lilium Angel. Maybe Tabris was right when he tried to warn me off... And with a final brush over her mind, Ramiel faded, gone from her mind.

"Love." the Other said, calm but for the faintest hitch in Her voice as She spoke, "Greatest blessing, yet most easily corrupted through jealousy and lust. Powering humans to heights untold and depravities unthinkable.

"You have a unique advantage over other humans, Asuka," She continued, stepping closer, "You're human with the power of entities beyond your understanding, and it did not corrupt you. Do you understand?

"All you have to do, all anyone has to do, is accept." She whispered, standing in front of Asuka, looking down at her from Her few extra inches of height, and brushed Her hand across Asuka's cheek, "Accept him, love him. That's it, and just maybe you'll be the last Reset."

And then She was gone, and Asuka finally noticed her comm. Switching it on with a numb tap to her wrist, she listened as Misato cried and laughed, unhearing though she caught enough to spur her on a high-speed course to the nearest Geofront entrance.

[-Touji's back, Asuka!-] Misato had cheered through tears, and warmth began to brush the edges of the hollow in her chest, [-You've got to get down here now!-]

0o0o0o0

Touji knew he was inside the Eva, a woman named Yui had told him as much before simply drifting off and leaving him alone in the orange emptiness. He wasn't really sure how long he'd been there, but he hoped it wasn't long. He didn't want Asuka to worry too much, though he knew she'd deny it.

"It's what she always does."

The phrase is said by two voices, and while Touji knows he is one of them the other voice startles him out of his revery. Turning, he finds himself face to face with a young man perhaps a few years older than him, though something seemed horrifyingly off about him. He wore crisp black slacks and a white button-up shirt very similar to the school uniform Touji always avoided wearing, with short, unruly brown hair not quite shadowing clear brown eyes that seemed to be smiling.

"Hello Touji-kun." His voice is soft, calming, but with an otherworldly quality to match the sense of wrongness Touji gets from Him, "I'm glad you're doing so well, this time."

"Who are you?" Touji hesitated, eyeing the stranger warily, "How do you know me?"

"Oh..." the smile left His eyes, replaced by a deep sadness, "Yes... I guess I should expect this, after so long... I'm- Call me Shinji."

"How do you know me?" the Pilot of Unit One asked, suddenly curious at the change in the visitor.

"Perhaps one day you'll know..." Shinji raised His hand, "but not today. For now, we wait for Her to speak to Asuka. Despite what I told Her, there is no real reason for me to be here with you. You're sure of your feelings. It's why Eva reacted for you when you needed it the most."

"You mean it reactivated because I-" Touji froze, suddenly and uncharacteristically shy, then forced himself to continue, "Because I'm sure I love Asuka?"

"Yes," He smiled, turning slightly to look off in the featureless distance, and Touji thought he sensed something that way as well, "The Eva activates for emotions, that's why the neural connectors are called A-10 clips. Usually, Pilots activate it through fear, or anger. Rarer and more solid connections come from the Pilot wanting to protect something they love."

"So how do I get out?" Touji asked after several moments of silence, making a show of glancing around the featureless space they were in, "I'm not happy about being in here in the first place."

"Soon, after She is done talking with your Asuka." Shinji says, slowly looking around as well, His expression saying he saw more than Touji did, "Actually, how about now?"

"Wha-"

A blinding orange glow envelopes him, and he manages to catch one more thing from the person calling himself Shinji before blinking his eyes clear on the catwalk in front of Unit-One, "Don't push her, but she'll be open now."

"Touji! TOUJI!" groggily he rolls his gaze towards the voice and sees Misato and a medical team jogging down the catwalk towards him, "Touji, answer me!"

"Where's Asuka?"

Touji weakly rolls over and just manages to push himself up to his hands and knees. Barely, and the weakness and shaking in his arms warns him not to push further or he'd be eating catwalk. And while he was glad to be back in the real world, he wasn't eager to experience a broken nose. His short question is answered by the raven-haired woman cheering through tears into a radio at Asuka to come back now.

"Touji's back, Asuka! You've got to get down here now!"

0o0o0o0

Asuka followed her instincts, some faint tether between her and Touji, and arrived at his NERV Medical room just as Ritsuko and Misato were stepping out of the room. Spotting the German redhead, the raven-haired older woman waved her friend off down the hall and gestured for Asuka to come to the door.

"Touji's dozing right now," Misato cut off Asuka as she opened her mouth to speak, or more likely shout, smiling at the younger woman as she continued, "The first thing he asked about was you, but he was out like a light right after. Rits says you can go in, but if he's sleeping let him sleep."

Sparing barely a nod of thanks for the Major, Asuka ducked into the room and let the door slide shut as she stood and stared at the young man on the bed. His breathing seemed easy, though his skin looked paler in the harsh hospital lighting, and she held her breath as she watched him for a moment. Expanding her Sense through the room, she gently touched the edge of her field to his, and the strong presence she felt instantly reassured her.

"You gonna jus stand there," his voice was firm, if a little rough, and startled her from her focus, "Not like ya tuh be shy, Red."

"Liked you'd know what shy looked like." she snarked, but the grin on her face was echoed in her voice and took the sting from the words. Walking over, Asuka chose to forego the chair and instead sat next to his feet, taking comfort in the partial contact through plugsuit and sheets.

"So..."

"So..."

Asuka snorted, crossing her arms and dropping onto her side. She pressed her back to his side, her head now against his shoulder, and sighed. The sound was shakier than she wanted, and she knew Touji noticed when he shift slightly. What surprised her was when he slid one arm under her waist and the other over her, wrapping her in a gentle hug with his fingers meshed over her stomach. She slid one hand over his, weaving her fingers into his.

"You won't do that again."

"No, I won't..." She felt him bury his nose into her hair at the crown of her head, and knew he was breathing in the smell, before he continued drowsily, "Gonna slap me when we wake up?"

"No," she breathed, closing her eyes and letting his warmth soak into her, filling the hollow inside, "Not this time. Probably not next time either."

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A/N: Well, whatcha think? Couldn't stop myself from posting this after a quick edit and a couple added scenes. Doubt I'll use it in IN:R, so take this a oneshot set in an AU of my already AU version of the Evangelion universe.

I really do love Asuka/Touji, all my A/T stories proof of that, and enjoy writing WAFFy moments around and between them.

One reviewer mentioned how close they are in my Awakening trilogy, hoping Asuka doesn't cheat on Shinji. Never fear, I won't write something like that. Asuka and Shinji, and Touji and Hikari, will remain the couples in that series.