Genre: Angst, family, romance

Disclamer: I do not own these characters appearing in this story. They all belong to Hidekaz Himaruya

except for Åland, who I just gave a human appearence and a name. No offence intendent, I make no money out of this.

Warnings: Male/male relationship, angst, emontional abuse(kind of?), one kiss, one bitchslap.

Pairing: SuFin, if you look close enough, a slight RusFin. I mean, REALLY closely.

Summary: His Tino is so different after all these tears they've spent apart, but he still loves his Tino. So why is Tino acting like this? Oh, F this, please just read the story, the summary really tells nothing about it. Really. Nothing.

AN: Okkay... So this is my first SuFin story EVER. So please be gentle. Though I will appriciate critique, just any kind.

This is also my first fanficstory for a long, oh, so long time.

And as for more excuses why this story sucks, I can say, that english is NOT my mothertongue, and this story is not beta'd, so there will be PLENTY of spellingerrors and all other kinds of nice stuff.

But please, if you find something that is miss spelled, or just any otherwise wrong, please, let me know. As said, I'll appriciate it. (8

Enjoy if you can!

This is my Hetalia version of 1922, when Finland and Sweden argued over Åland, and how Finland finally snatched it to himself.

I am aware, that this actually happened before all the wars in Finland, but I thought it worked out better this way, so this is a little bit historically uncorrect.

Some day

"We now start the pre-hearing of the custody case of Tommi-Björn Åland. The case of Oxenstierna vs Väinämöinen."

The judge annouced with a clear, dull and harsh voice. The judge was a large man with broad shoulders, and no empathy in his features or voice. His face was like a stone wall, and it lacked all emontions.

He knocked his bludgeon once on the table, in mark of the beginning the trial.

"So. Is there any possibility of agreement in the shared custody?" the judge asked, letting his eyes drift over the tall, even when sitting down, intiminating looking blonde man with glasses, to the small, blonde man, with a blank face, sitting in the other hearingstand.

Berwald wasn't even starting to make out the words in his head for an answer to the judges question, when Tino already stood up and spoke.

"No, there is not, your honor. I'm applying for a singlecustody."

Tino's words were like ice, dripping through out his lips. His face was completely blank, which was so unusual of him. There was no sign of his usual cheerines or the overwhelming happiness and friendliness that always seemed to flow around him like a glowing warm aura.

He seemed cold.

And distant.

Different.

Was this really the same Tino? The same small, easily scared and always smiling, happy Tino, that he, Berwald, had so blindly just fallen in love with, oh, so many years ago? The same Tino, that always talked too much, to the point of getting him into troubles, that Berwald would have to get him out of? The same Tino, that he had once called his wife? The very same Tino, that had whispered his name, with the words of love in the darkest winter nights, when they were drifting to sleep in each others arms after making love in their bed, in their home... in their land?

Could it be? Could this man, who was trying to ruin all those memories, who was stealing their child away, who was ripping apart their home, be his sweet Tino?

The idea of it felt impossible. But yet, it was true.

It felt like their positions had swicthed. Berwald's usual stony face was dribbled with all sorts of emontions from confusion and sadness to anger and annoyance, but Tino's face, that Berwald had grown so customed to see happy and smiling, was expressionless.

Tino just sat there, calmly, face stern, staring at the judge, with a steel eyes and a look of determination. His hands were squeesed into tight fists around the fabric of his blue military trousers. He avoided Berwald's gaze. He had done so the whole morning, after they both had arrived the courthouse. He had hurried away from Berwald and Sealand, dragging the sad looking Åland with him. He wouldn't even greet Berwald, and as the matter of fact, he wouldn't even acknowledge his precense. Not in the morning at the hallway, not now, in the court.

Berwald's stressed and mournful eyes drilled their piercing blue gaze in the side of Tino's head, but the younger, smaller man did not even flinch. He had to know, that his former husband was stearing him with the most intent gaze, but Tino still wouldn't turn and look at him.

Berwald gave up.

Instead of his dear wife, he turned to look at his kids.

Berwald loved his kids, he would do just anything for them. He would even rip off his own arm to beat somebody to death with it, if that somebody had been hurting his kids.

And the sight of his children sitting two bench rows behind him, broke his heart even more, than the fact, that he was in a full trial for his son, against the man he loved.

Sealand was confused and sad. Devastated even. He could not sit still. He was fidgeting and bouncing up and down, big clear tears running down his cheeks. He babbled silently, sobbing out the words.

"Why papa is so sad? Why mama wouldn't talk to me this morning? Why isn't he talking to papa? Are they mad? Are they fighting? They aren't supposed to fight! We're supposed to be happy, be a family again! Mama came back! He came back from that evil man! But why he didn't come back to us? Does he hate us? Is mama angry at us?"

Sealand couldn't understand what was going on. And to be frank, even Berwald didn't quite grasp it.

They had really never broken up. That was the thing that confused him.

It had been terrible. All the blood, the chaos, the screaming. And in the middle of that all, Ivan. Russia had swarmed over Tino's lands like the plague, and there he was, in the middle of the terror, claiming to take Finland with him. Tino had been brave, he ahd fought back like a little hellion, refusing to go anywhere.

Berwald had been cought up in a fight with that damn Denmark, and when he finally showed up to Tino's aid, he did more harm to them than good. Ivan had shot him through the shoulder and threatened to kill him, if Tino wouldn't come with him. Tino of course, to spare the life of the man he loved agreed, even though Berwald had actually screamed and yelled him not to. Ivan had taken Tino away, and left nothing but this consuming feeling of nothingness. Berwald fell into depression. It had been mind numbing. He could do nothing but wait.

Ivan had forbidded Tino to see Berwald and it took centuries before Berwald heard any news about his wife again.

He heard, that Ivan had let Tino go. He had granted Tino independence. Without a war, without any bloodshed. Berwald had nearly danced with joy.

'Soon,' he had thought, 'soon, my wife will come back home!'

But he didn't.

Berwald heard, that Tino had some problems with his mind and sanity, and his country had fallen into a civil war.

Berwald felt sad about this, but knowing, that Tino wasn't under Ivan's terror anymore gave his spirits a boost. He had already waited for centures, it wouldn't hurt him for waiting a little longer.

Tino would come.

But he didn't.

Next time Berwald heard of his wife, he had gotten himself into a conflich with Ivan again, and they had fallen into a war. This worried Berwald greatly. Tino was so small and Ivan was big and insane! He was worried sick, before he heard that Ludwig was aiding Tino in his war with Russia.

Again Berwald would wait. What else could he do, really? He was not going to forget about his Tino.

But the war grew longer and longer, and it had bearly stopped, when it started out again. Berwald heard, that Tino was actually doing a great job, kicking Ivan's ass but still, as long as Russia's troops were on the soil of Tino's land, Berwald could not breath or even sleep easily.

But even that war ended.

Starting another one. Ludwig and Tino started fighting. And Tino had his hand's full with trying to banish the troops of Germany from his lands. They played foul.

Out of Ludwigs orders, his troops burned everything as they went. Nothing would ever grow on those grounds again.

But even with his casualties, Tino was still free, sane and alive. It was only a matter of time now. He would return.

But he never did.

Years went by, and Berwald was getting anxious. He told himself, that it only took so much time, because Tino was trying so hard to get his lands to bounce back from the war, and he had no time to anything else. That had to be it. Otherwise, Tino would have come already running back to Berwald's waiting arms. Berwald knew, that things wouldn't be exactly same as they had been, since now Tino was independent and not under Berwald's rule, and they wouldn't propably be living together anymore, but he knew that Tino would still love him, and come back to him.

Untill the day, the lawsuit papers droppet in his mailbox. Tino was demanding the custody over Åland. He would have propably demanded it over Sealand aswell, but since Berwald was the legal guardian and adopted father of Peter, Tino wouldn't stand a chance in that debait, for he was Peter's mama by only being Berwald's wife. Which he propably even wasn't anymore, given the cirmunctances.

But there. No explanations, no nothing. When Tino was carried off by Ivan, kicking and screaming for Berwald, he wouldn't have ever thought that someday, it would come to this.

Berwald touched absentmindedly the scar on his shoulder, which was he reminder of the exact moment, that Russia had torn his life apart, and let his eyes drift off from Peter, whom he granted a small reassouring smile, to Tommi-Björn Åland, his older son. He was even more heartbreaking to look at, than his little brother.

Åland hung his head low, so that his face was covered with his long blonde hair. His narrow shoulders were trembling with silent sobs. His other fist clenched on his trousers fabric, like his "mother's". Whilst, his other hand, squeesing tight on Sealand's smaller hand, looking for comfort, and giving it. Berwald felt terrible. This couldn't be his thoughtful and kind Tino.

It didn't matter, if this was somekind of revenge or a plan to hurt Berwald, but didn't Tino think at all, how this affected their children?

"...So, if shared custody can't be arranged, then we'll hold a trial for the singlecustody matter tomorrow, and we'll be hearing an opinion from Tommi-Björn Åland, for he is in the age to be heard in court..." the judge kept talking, and when he mentioned that Åland was supposed to say tomorrow, which of his parents he would rather live with, Tommi-Björd flinched, and let out a silent cry.

This was the feather that broke Berwald Oxenstierna's back.

"Y're h'nour." He spoke with his mumbling and quiet, but stern and affective way, standing up with his all height.

"'m ready t'settle w'th sh'redcust'dy." He spoke slowly, never facing the judge, but staring at Tino, with his eyes burning with disapointment and sadness. What had Ivan done to his Tino?

Tino turned.

He met Berwald's eyes, taken a back a little. Then his face twisted into anger. It didn't suit him. Not at all. He looked sick and deranged. Tino stood up quickly, his small hands clenched into fists, knuckels turning white.

"What are you...!"

But just what it was, that Tino wanted to know, was never heard, for the judge started to talk again.

"Silence, please." he knocked his blugdeon again and continued.

" I see. So you disagree even on the form of the custody? Fine then, we'll hold a separate hearing for the custody matter tomorrow, to decide, which custody we will be arranging..." but the judge didn't even get to the end of his speech, when Berwald talked again.

"Y're h'nour, I'd l'ke to s'ggest, t'ht y'd let us d'scuss th's m'tter ov'r f'r awh'le. In priv'te."

The second those mumbled words left his mouth, Berwald felt Tino's eyes on him. But this time it was Berwald, who wouldn't look up to meet the others gaze.

The judge looked him up and down, thinking.

"Hmm. Very well, I'll give you 30 minutes to talk the matter over in the jury room with mr. Väinämöinen. You may go and start now, the officer will come and get you after your time is up," he finally said, waving his hand to the direction of a small door in the front of the large courtroom. Berwald glanced Tino quickly, and the hate burning in the smaller nations eyes told him only one thing.

'I have nothing to discuss over with you.'

Even if the words were silent, they still stung in Berwald's very soul, and it took him a lot, not to wobble, when he started off to the jury room.

Berwald couldn't stop himself. He glanced back again, only this time, he first met the eyes of his children. Peter was crying now openly and loudly, gripping tightly on his older brother's hand and arm, while Tommi-Björn just looked down right so anxious with his tear stained face, that he could burst into pieces at any time now.

Berwald had to look away for a moment, just to keep himself from rushing over there, and embracing, comforting his kids. But instead of that, he just mouthed to them the words 'it'll be okay, don't worry.'

But he didn't know if it would be okay...

Then he turned to look at Tino, who had also started to walk towards the jury room's door. He had stopped completely, to stare at his, their children.

And there he was.

The real Tino. His Tino.

Tino's face was full of such an overwhelming kindness and tenderness and worry, it could melt you away. But then he turned to look at Berwald.

And he was gone again.

That twisting rage deformed his beautiful young face again, while he turned his head away, and stormed off to the jury room, slamming the door shut behind him. Berwald couldn't help but to smile a little, when he walked after Tino. This reminded him so much of the times when they still lived togerher, and Tino would get upset about something, and had acted more angry than he had really been. The only difference was, that this time, he really was that angry.

Berwald closed the door of the jury room quietly behind him. Tino was standing on the other end of the small room, back to Berwald, leaning on the window sill, shoulders hunched and head hanging low. Berwald stared at his small back and frowned a little. His head was running a thousand miles per hour with all the questions boiling in his mind. He didn't know where to start.

"Wh't exactly 're y'doin'?"

"What exactly are you doing?"

The words spoken at the exact same time bounced off from each other, and trailed off to silcence again.

Tino turned slowly around, now facing Berwald. His mask was shattering by now. He had a hard time, trying to keep on his 'poker face', but the anger and some other emontion that Berwald couldn't quite put his finger on, were twisting the corners of his eyes, which burned with such a passion that the temperature in the room was most certanly rising.

"What am I doing? ! What am I doing? !" Tino shouted suddenly, the last of his 'cool' breaking down, tears started to appear in his eyes, but they didn't yet roll down his cheeks, which were by now reddened with anger.

"What are you doing! ? Can't you see how much this is hurting my children? ! Your children? Why can't you just give up to the singlecustody matter? Why do you have to make this a longer, more painful process than it already is, by this shared custody crap, damn it! ?" Tino yelled, gritting his teeth. Berwald was suprised, and for once, he let it show from his face, by liftting his eyebrows little.

'So... Tino does still care care about them. Our children... Our... He couldn't even call them our children...' Berwald thought looking with a sting in his heart, at the panting man before him.

"'m n't gonna g've out m'ch'ld w'th out a f'ght. T'no... wh't 're we doin' h're?" Berwald spoke out, taking a step closer to his former wife. God, how he was still beautiful. Though, he really was different. Berwald only noticed it now, but Tino seemed somewhat... taller? And his face looked older, and it had these furrows, that weren't there before. His eyes. They had that look. The tired, 'I've seen more than I would have liked to'. And even though he seemed taller, his shoulders looked so weightened down. With some sort of invisible pressure. Pressure of war and suffering.

Berwald was taken a back little for this.

"What are we doing here? ! I am here to make sure, that I will take my child home with me, without more suffering...!" Tino started to yell, but Berwald cut him off.

"No. I m'an, wh't 're we doin' h're? Why 're we h're?"

Now it was Tino's time to look confused and taken back.

"Why didn't y'u c'me b'ck t' me? To 's? Why did y'u aband'n us?" Berwald's eyes gleamed with disapointment and so deep sadness, that it made Tino look away. But when he turned back to meet Berwald's eyes, his face was so twisted with disgust and anger, it mearly scared Berwald. And then it was again Berwald's time to look away, but this time, it was not from his own choice. His cheek burned. Tino had slapped him across the face. Berwald was shocked. There had never been any kind of violence between them. Tino had must grown really to hate him to do this. Even when Berwald's shocked and hurt eyes turned to meet Tino's rageful ones, there was not even a slightest look of 'sorry' in them.

" Abandon you? ! Why did I abandon you?! After I finally got Ivan to let me free I thought I was going crazy! My mind was split in two, and my land was driven into civil war! But I, naive that I was, thought, that no problem! My dear Berwald will come and save me! Even in the middle of my insanity, you were the only thing I thought I could trust! But where were you? Sitting somewhere in the safety in your neutral land, not giving a shit about me! I sent you letters, I begged you to come! But where were you? No answers, no nothing! Well, I still wanted to believe that there was some good in you, I still wanted, no, needed, to believe that you loved me, and I thought, 'well, maybe he just doesn't want to meddle with the inside matters of my country, and I let it slide through my fingers. But when Ivan desided, that he couldn't live without me, and came back to take me to his home, I thought that of course you would come to help me, like any other decent husband, but no! There was no sight of you, not even an answer to my letters which again begged you to come! I was there alone! You swore to protect me! Where were you! I had to make a deal with Ludwig and his nazis to even survive that hell! The nazis! You have no idea what that is like! I even got into fight with him! That was the precise moment, I lost my fate in you. I promised myself, never to trust you again, so that I would never be let down by someone I love... loved that much again! And damn me, if I'm going to let my child live with a shit of a father like you! Where were you, when I needed you the most! ?"

Berwald held his burning cheek with his gloved hand, shocked.

Not by the fact that Tino had slapped him, and yelled him, called him by rude names, and that Tino had now grabbed him by the front of his blue jacket and was shaking him, demanding answers, tears of anger and disapointment now running down his red cheeks, but by the fact, that he was right.

How could Berwald had been so stupid? He mentally kicked himself. He had been so depressed about losing Tino, that he had never even stopped for a moment to think, that maybe there had been some other things to do about it than beating up Denmark and moping around, waiting. Tino had needed him, but he had just counted on that Tino would come back to him, doing nothing. He felt like the worst husband ever. Without further thinking, he leaned down, shuting Tino's shouting mouth with his own.

His lips were thin and dry, but they tasted the same. They tasted of salmiakki and winter, with a bit of bitter booze spicing up the taste. Berwald felt like melting. He draped slowly his arms around the thinner body, holding it close to him. He felt like never letting go. He wanted to drown in this feeling. Feeling of his Tino. Berwald nearly forced his tongue in Tino's mouth, deepening the kiss. Tino just stood still, baffled about the sudden turn of their argument. But slowly, ever so subtly, he wrapped his arms around Berwald's waist and answered the kiss carefully, almost unnoticeably.

But then suddenly Tino ripped himsefl out of the kiss, pushing Berwald violenty back, escaping his embrace.

"NO! Don't you dare to do that! Don't you dare..." Tino's voice trailed off, and he turned away from Berwald, hanging his head low. But Berwald saw the blush. And that blush was not caused because Tino's anger or the earlier burst.

Berwald also let his head fall. He felt dizzy. He didn't know what to say, so his mouth decided it for him.

"'m s'rry... I j'st... I n'ver got th' l'tters. M'boss m'st have k'pt th'm fr'm me. 'm also s'rry th't I n'ver c'me f'r y'u on m'own. I should've." Berwald fell silent, staring again at Tino's back.

"It's a bit late for apologies," Tino hissed. And turned around again. His face was unreadable. He just stared Berwald straight into eyes without even blinking.

"'m st'll s'rry..." Berwald mumbled, returning the intent stare.

"But... Wh't ab't T'mmi-Bj'rn? Why n't sh'red c'st'dy?" Berwald asked. Tino flicnhed and was silent for a long time. Just when Berwald thought he was not going to get an answer out of Tino, the smaller man spoke again, this time not looking at Berwald, and voice as audiable as the taller man.

"I can't loose it all. I can't be separated from it all... all we had... I need something to remind me of that all. To remind me, it was not all just lies and deceivement. And I can't be separated from all of my family. I need Åland, I can't..." Tino's shoulders started to shake with the tears he was holding back.

"Y'u'd st'll be able t' see h'm, w'th sh'ared c'st'dy..." Berwald started to comfort his former wife but was cut off with a teary shout from the shaking man before him.

"No!" Tino squeesed his hands into fists and stared at Berwald with anger.

"No, because that means that I would have to see you every time I'd come to pick him up from your place! I don't want to see you..." Tino's voice was beginning to trail off again.

"Because then I might forgive you..."

They fell silent. Both of them.

It was like a battlefield after the war.

But neither of them felt like they had won.

Berwald just stared at the smaller, now crying again, man before him. He knew what he would have to do. He felt like dying for it, but he knew that was the right thing to do. He had swore to protect and make his wife happy. He had already failed at the first, but to attempt a little redemption, he knew he would have to do this. To make Tino happy again.

Berwald stepped forward and closed the space between them again, closing Tino in the strong, comforting embrace of his arms. This time Tino didn't push him away, and just sobbed quietly into Berwald's chest. Berwald stroked the sandyblonde hair of the man he still loved so much it hurted, and kissed him on the forehead.

"I l've y'u," he whispered quietly.

"I know," was the only answer he got.

"L'sten T'no... I th'nk th't..."

"So, have you come to a conclusion?" the judge asked with his cold voice, when Berwald and Tino walked out of the jury room and slipped back to their seats.

"Yes we have, your honour," Tino spoke out, walking to the judge and giving him a piece of paper that Tino and Berwald had both signed just a moment ago in the jury room.

The judge read it carefully through few times, then he lifted his eyebrow, and looked at Berwald.

"Is this really correct, mr. Oxenstierna?"

"Y's it is. 's m' sign't're in on it, 'sn't it?" Berwald said coolly, voice as calm as ever.

"Y'ur h'nour," he added lazily.

"...Fine then," the judge said slowly with a bit suprised voice and then proceeded to read out the small document Tino had handed him.

"I, Berwald Oxenstierna, shall give the whole custody of my older son, Tommi-Björn Åland to my former wife Tino Väinämöinen. I also grant him the visiting right to my other son, Peter Kirkland, a.k.a. Sealand, and for exchance of this, I demand that I shall be allowed to take part in the education of Tommi-Björn Åland," the judge read out, and when he got to the part where the document mentioned Tino beeing Berwald's wife, Tino blushed brighter than Berwald had ever seen.

"Signed by both, Tino Väinämöinen and Berwald Oxenstierna," the judge continued folding the paper and taking a long look at the both men, sitting in the hearingstands.

"Well... This looks pretty legit to me. So is there any, who would have anything to add here?" the judge asked, and everyone in the court room turned to look at Åland, who just sat there looking scared and holding onto Sealand's hand like dear life. But he did not speak a word.

"Fine then. I shall legalise this, and so, the custody matter is already solved, by the fact that mr Oxenstierna is giving up the full custody to his... hmm... former wife... mr. Väinämöinen. Case is closed," the judge annouced, knocking his bludgeon down on his table again in the mark of ending the trial.

As soon as the bludgeon hit the table, Tino had jumped up and sprinted towards the benches and to his children.

But much to Berwald's suprise, as he had thought Tino would have just grabbed Åland and started to drag him away, Tino threw his arms around both Sealand and Åland, hugging them close. Sealand grabbed Tino tightly, sobbing the word 'mama' over and over again.

Berwald couldn't help but smile. There was still something left of his Tino.

"Mama... Mama... Mama, are you coming back to home with us now?" Berwald heard Peter sob, as he walked towards them.

"No, Peter-dear, I'm sorry, but no I'm not. But you are more than welcome to come to visit me any time you like," Tino said quietly, kissing Peter's forehead gently, and pulling away from the embrace, pulling Åland with him.

"Bye bye then, Peter-dear. We'll see you soon!" Tino said smiling, but Berwald saw, that under the smile, he was breaking. Tino started to walk away, pulling Åland after him.

"Dad!" Tommi-Björn shouted suddenly, wriggling his wrist free from Tino's hand, and running towards Berwald, who by now was already standing next to confused looking Sealand.

Tommi-Björn crashed into Berwald's arms, crying outloud. He held onto his father tight, tears running down his reddened face.

"Dad, are you going to just leave me?" the small teenage boy yelled, pulling on Berwald's blue coat. Berwald sighed, now he too, holding back tears. He kneeled down to the level of his son, hugging him.

"No. N'ver. I'll 'lways gonna be 'round," he said quietly. Stroking his fingers through his son's long blonde hair. Oh, how much it was like his mother's.

"Come on, Tommi, we have a long way home!" Tino called to his son. Berwald knew, that the man couldn't wait to get away from Berwald and this whole situation.

Berwald sighed again, pulling away from the hug. He looked at the teary face of his son, then reached out to straighten Åland's glasses, and patted him on the cheek.

"C'mon now, y'ur m'th'r is c'lling f'r y'u. Be br've," Berwald smiled too, though he too, felt like crying. Åland smiled too a little and started to walk back to Tino, looking back at Berwald over his shoulder the whole time.

Tino took Åland's hand and started to walk away again. Berwald picked Peter up, and just stood there, watching the only man he had ever truly loved walk away with his son. Letting the man he still loved to walk away from him.

And as if Tino had heard his thoughts, he suddenly stopped and after just standing still for a moment, he turned to look at Berwald over his shoulder.

"Maybe I will too, again. Some day," Tino said loud enough so that Berwald could hear him. Then the smaller man smiled. With his real, happy smile, the one that made him Berwald's Tino.

Berwald smiled back, and just nodded. He didn't need to say it. Tino knew what the nod meant.

'I'll be waiting.'

Tino turned and walked out of the courtroom door, pulling Åland after him. The door slammed shut, and Berwald still just stood there, smiling.

'Some day...'

AN2: Okkay, so I just want to point out, that the fact that Berwald wanting to take part in the education of Åland is supposed to symbolize the fact, that even though it was Finland who ended up with Åland, Åland is still fully swedish speaking land.

Oh, and if you don't get what Tino is talking about in the end, he means, that maybe he will too love Berwald again someday.

Annd, Sealand is not being a retard, I made on purpose him to be a little younger than he actually is.