Vic – Emotional Journey through Season 3

I am thinking of pairing each story with a mirror image through the season. We will see how it goes.

My alarm clock buzzes me awake. Ah, 0700 already, sigh. As I stumble toward the shower I smile to myself and I know it's a wicked devilishly grin because I'm going to lay my eyes on him in just about an hour. I shower and wash my hair making sure to remember the conditioner because I want to be pretty for him. I shouldn't have these feelings and it makes me nervous that I do.

In Philly, I had my choice of guys. I could fuck 'em and leave 'em if that's what I wanted but I never cheated on Sean. When I made my choice, I made it and I have been serious about my vows but now I find myself in a strange town with even stranger people and I have grown accustomed to the vibe.

I close my eyes as my skin soaks up the warm water and the bath bubbles bounce down my skin. I imagine his smell in the morning. A combination of clean soap, coffee, cotton and leather. I think of how he looks at me when he thinks I don't notice. I never want to catch his gauze because I am afraid he will stop. I love his eyes upon me.

I hit the office door with fervor.

"Good morning, peeps"

"Mornin' Walt"

"Mornin"

"Any news?"

"No."

I want to tell him it will be all right that I will be here beside him every step of the way but I don't dare. We head out to breakfast, part of our new routine, and I gently suggest he get a first class shave and haircut so he can relax. All of this worry is wearing on him and it is beginning to show. I say the wrong thing reminding him of Martha and I fear I put him back in that helpless place.

Damn, Vic shut your face. I always say the wrong thing. He tells me it's ok and walks away from me. I want to grab him and spin him around and proclaim to the world that I would never hurt him. No, not him. Not the man I so unexpectedly fell in love with.