Chapter 1: Get On With It!
As Juliet, Butler, Holly, and Angeline gathered around a huge lounge table, they grew impatient, waiting for a very late Artemis. Juliet was keeping herself busy, however, as she was drawing pictures of herself doing a body slam to some of the World's most famous wrestlers. Butler who was naturally sitting next to her, took a look at some of the drawings and remembered meeting a few of them. They look so tough in person, but under my sister, they look helpless. A phrase Butler never thought he'd think of admitting. Holly slouched in her chair, which was already occupied with 2 encyclopedias to boost her up to the table. Although she'd never admit it, she was developping a crush on Artemis. Ever since the events in Rathdowne Park, she realized that she had feelings for Artemis. No matter what, she'd always deny them to anybody else, but she felt as though she could no longer deny them to herself.
I do like him... we've been through so much together. When he kidnapped me, I thought he was just another criminal out to get at the LEP. But then, he offered to return half of the gold in return for his mother's health. Despite our attempts to get the gold back, Artemis won it from us. I thought he was going to use it like any other criminal would; on cars, TVs, Computers, whatever... turns out, he used the other half of the gold to get his father back... Ever since I helped him then, I realized he was at least a halfway decent Mud Boy. It almost killed me to mind wipe him... I couldn't stand thinking that I would never get to see Artemis again. But then... after what Opal did... I needed Arty's help at that point. I realized our mind wipe effectively made him go back to his old criminal ways. He seemed cold again. Then, he remembered everything... he even apologized for kidnapping me. I had to hold myself back from crying at that point. And Hybras... that was a strange adventure. I remember when Arty almost died in Rathdown Park... without thinking, I was starting to cry. When I healed him, it was the happiest I'd have ever been. I was so glad to know he was alive! Everything's just so overwhelming... I don't know what to do! I think I like him... no... I know I like him. But what can I do about it? He's from a different species! He's at least twice my size! And what if he doesn't like me back? Is it worth risking embarrassment? I wish he'd just give me some sign...
Just then, Artemis Fowl II walked into the room casually, whistling very nonchalantly. Holly, deciding to think differently for a second, gave Artemis a frustrated gaze.
"Arty...Artemis! Where were you? We've been waiting for half an hour!" snapped Holly. Artemis shot Holly a smile. Different from his usual vampire-like smile.
"Holly, I've discovered something very extraordinary. In fact, I think you might just be interested in what I have discovered," stated Artemis, maintaining his smile through his words. This grabbed Holly's attention. She always knew Artemis had been an epic genius, but she was certain that he would have to eventually run out of discoveries at some point.
"Alright, Artemis. What have you discovered?" inquired Holly, hoping this was good. The question hung in the air for a moment, and in that time, Holly examined Artemis. What is it about him that I love so much?
She surveyed his features. Pale white skin was generally considered a turn off among the People, due to the fact that it looks so out of place from the rest of their darker toned skin. Yet, she found herself attracted to this feature. This wasn't what made her fawn over him though. She recognized his height, much too tall for fairies. Yet, it intrigued her. I wonder if... This thought was trailed off by her realization of where she was. Finally, she met her eyes with his. Eyes identical to hers. Eyes filled not only with love, but with an epic story of all the stuff they had gone through together. Running from the trolls in the 11 Wonders... Running after the radioactive train in the Arctic... She even remembered the moment they both realized they had swapped eyes. One too big for the other, one too small for the other. Bonded by a recognizable feature, she realized that it was after all that she had been through with Artemis that had made her so attracted to him. Now, she just needed to find out if this was worth pursuing.
"I, with no outside help whatsoever, have come up with the conclusion..." Artemis paused, realizing that what he was about to say next would shock them all. Angeline, having said nothing this whole time, decided to finally speak up after about a minute of awkward silence, which, in Juliet's mind, registered as 60 newborn gay babies. At the age of 22, she still has the mind of a child. Something Butler appreciated in a very small way.
"Well what is it, Arty?" Questioned Angeline Fowl, realizing she might be missing her soaps.
"...this may shock you all... are you sure you're -" Artemis was then cut off, by the roaring sound of everyone saying "GET ON WITH IT!" in unison.
"Alright... I have discovered... that I am out of shape," Artemis said bluntly. The result was 4 facepalms across the table, with something similar and different at the same time going through everyone's mind.
After being a bodyguard to Artemis for 15...18... many years now, you would think Artemis would have realized that he is not in any above average physical condition. Whenever I try to train him, he gets exhausted, and calls it quits. Butler's thoughts were filled with small chuckles here and there.
Seriously? It took him THAT long to realize that? Ever since Artemis hit puberty, I realized he wouldn't ever be the 'Jock' kind of kid. No mystery there... and they call him a genius? Juliet remained in tactical facepalm position.
My little Arty boy finally caught on! Hopefully he'll start working out soon! Butler's become less mobile because of his healing some years ago... he might be able to defend me whenever Butler passes on. Angeline began to think cheerful thoughts, including ones where she simply listed off the potential benefitting factors to Artemis buffing up.
Did Arty lose a bit of IQ from the last mindwipe? Because it's pretty obvious that he's not in shape... wait a minute... Holly realized what Artemis was doing. She realized that he was trying to make a small attempt at humor. "Nice one, Arty!" Holly exclaimed. Artemis was glad to see that Holly had caught on. He produced another smile. His smile... it's not so... vampirish. I like it. It's more friendly
"In case anyone didn't realize, that was an attempt at humor, as it is quite obvious that I am out of shape, and the journey along the way has only further proven that. Me simply stating that I am out of shape, and treating it as though it is news to everyone is the joke, for it obviously isn't news at all," generally, Artemis loathed having to explain himself, but this time, he did so with that smile still on his face. "I have decided that despite the endless hours of pain and torture from the task, I shall train with Butler. I shall work out with him on a consistent basis, and maintain a proper diet. I plan to shape up by the end of summer." All this did was shock everyone
"Wait, lemme get this straight," said Juliet, with a typical look someone would give someone else if they thought they were crazy. "You're gonna buff up?" Asked Juliet in a very blunt, and laughable way.
"Yes," stated Artemis. He delivered the affirmation with a look of beaming pride on his face, only to quickly fade away from the abundance of laughter that pursued. Artemis did honestly feel a bit hurt. He sulked and looked down. He stared at the patterns in the carpet that covered the floor. When he looked up, he saw that everyone was still laughing. Everyone except Holly. She seemed to have a concentrated look on her face, almost as if she was giving something of great importance an epic amount of thought, mixed in with a look of disagreement with the rest of the still laughing group. Artemis recognized this, and smiled shyly at Holly, quickly realizing he was still being laughed at. He proceeded to blush, and storm off into the hallway, up the stairs, and into his bedroom.
Holly was disappointed in how everyone reacted to Artemis' proposal, as she had faith that he would be able to comply. She could remember her own days of school, where she was teased for being 1 centimetre shorter than the average height. As soon as laughter erupted the living room, she instantly felt empathy and sympathy for the Mud Boy, making her all the more attracted to him.
