I could stay awake just to hear you breathing
Watch you smile while you're sleeping
While you're far away dreaming
I could spend my life in this sweet surrender
I could stay lost in this moment forever
Every moment spent with you is a moment I treasure
How is it someone can take your breath away with just one look? That's what Johnny does to me. Just one look is all it takes for me to go completely crazy. When we got married all those months ago, I just remember looking into those brown eyes and my whole heart just melted. There wasn't anything more I wanted. He knows how I feel about him, and it's funny. We talk about that often, and he always rolls his eyes when I tell him. He's sleeping, and I get up to take care of the kid that's squealing in the next bedroom. I picked her up and smiled softly at her.
"Good morning my darling Melissa, how are you doin' on this pleasant morning?"
Like I was expecting her to answer me back. I walked her to the changing table and started humming a song that was on the radio. I watched her smile and grinned when I tickled her and she smiled. She had dimples on her face. She had Johnny's dimples, and I melted. I giggled with her and picked her up and carried her downstairs. I walked to the cabinet and showed her the food.
"Alright Lissa, breakfast time! What shall we have? I've got carrots and bananas and apples. What'll it be?"
I asked, holding up the jars. I watched as she reached out to touch the apples and bananas and I grinned at her. I heard a sound and looked up as Johnny stood in the doorway rubbing his eyes and wearing nothing but the flannel pajama pants I had bought him from Nordstrom two weeks ago. He looked like he just woke up, and I hadn't made coffee yet.
"Hey sleepyhead."
"Sleepyhead? Teddy, it's eight-thirty."
"I know. I've been up since seven."
"With her?"
He asked, scooting her high chair over to the table. I sat her down and smiled as John went to the coffeepot. He put the coffee in, and I started feeding her. John sat down across from me and started peeling a banana. He had a knife and was cutting it into his Cheerios. I was concentrating on feeding Melissa when I heard cussing.
"Son of a bitch! Mother fucker! That fucking hurt!"
"Whoa John Randall…not around the baby!"
"Fuck the baby right now, Theodore. Okay? I just sliced my thumb."
I couldn't help but to laugh. I had warned him time and time again that he was going to slice his hand doing that. He ran over to the sink and started running his hand under the water. He was panicking and hoping he hadn't nicked an artery. I finished feeding the baby and picked her up.
"Come on kiddo, let's go see how bad daddy cut himself."
I said, making it John in just a few short seconds. I peeked into the sink and watched as he started cleaning it some more. It was just a superficial wound.
"Oh Johnny, you're fine."
I said, kissing his shoulder and carrying Melissa out of the kitchen. I laughed when I went to give her a bath. A little while later, he came upstairs with two cups of coffee and handed one to me. It was then we got the phone call that changed both of our lives.
Don't want to close my eyes
I don't want to fall asleep
Cause I'd miss you baby
And I don't want to miss a thing
Cause even when I dream of you
The sweetest dream would never do
I'd still miss you baby
And I don't want to miss a thing
"Honey, I just got off the phone with the lawyer. And I just got some news."
"What?"
"Stephanie's being released today."
"Okay, so?"
"So? So? The woman who caused us so much hell, is getting released today! And she's going to come here to come after us."
I put Melissa down after her bath was over and she was sufficiently dressed. I had dressed her in memorabilia of her daddies. She was in a 'Simply Priceless' t-shirt and little jeans that Johnny had made specifically for her. With the crosses and the flares and her own little fluffy stuff at the bottom and specially made aviator shades. I watched as she crawled around on the floor and did her thing. I pulled him into a hug and rubbed his shoulders.
"We have a restraining order against her. She can't come close to us. At all. If she does, she goes back to jail. And everyone she's worked with is fired. Or in jail. She isn't coming here. So go get our daughter, I'll get the dog, and we'll walk the park."
"Sounds like a good idea to me!"
He said, getting the baby off the floor. He put her under his arm like a football and pulled the stroller out of the closet. Melissa was slowly starting to slide out of his grip and I ran over to him.
"Honey, you're gonna kill our daughter. Let me have her, while you set the stroller up."
I said, grabbing her. I held her while Johnny set up her stroller. Then he grabbed her from me, threw her up in the air, kissed her when she landed in his arms and laughed with her when she giggled. I laughed with them and hooked Riggs to his leash and we all headed out. These were the memories I would cherish the most. All of them.
Lying close to you feeling your heart beating
And I'm wondering what you're dreaming
Wondering if it's me you're seeing
Then I kiss your eyes
And thank god we're together
I just want to stay with you in this moment forever
Forever and ever
We walked around the park for what seemed like an eternity. It tired all three of us out sufficiently, so we decided to go back home. John put Melissa in her playpen and I sat on the sofa next to him. He wrapped his arm around me and dropped his head on my shoulder. My brain wasn't exactly shutting down for me to fall asleep, so I just let my mind wander. Wander what Melissa was thinking about before she fell asleep, and most importantly what Johnny was dreaming about. I realized suddenly that I had to make Taco salad for a party we were going to this weekend. I wasn't going to move, and let him fall face first onto the sofa, so I shook him gently.
"Johnny, why don't you go upstairs and lay in bed. I'm gonna make the Taco salad for Josh and Matt's party tomorrow. They're bringing home Claire."
"Oh shit, is that tomorrow?"
"Yes. Now, go upstairs and get some sleep. I'll be up in a couple hours to wake you up."
He stood up and kissed me softly, then scooped Lissa up out of her playpen and took her into the her room. I walked into the kitchen and started preparing the taco salad. It was my dad's recipe, and it was a delicious recipe to have. My mind was a million miles away, upstairs because I liked watching Johnny sleep. It was funny to see his facial expressions. I shoved the taco salad into the refrigerator and walked upstairs. I checked on Lissa, and she was still sleeping. No change there. She went against everything that babies do. She didn't cry. She slept at night. We couldn't have been blessed with a more amazing daughter. I walked into our room and smiled. He was laying on top of the bed and was off in dreamland somewhere. I climbed in next to him and pulled him close to me. I couldn't help it, this man was my drug.
Don't want to close my eyes
I don't want to fall asleep
Cause I'd miss you baby
And I don't want to miss a thing
And even when I dream of you
The sweetest dream would never do
I'd still miss you baby
And I don't want to miss a thing
"I'm not sleeping you know."
He told me. I knew that, but I needed to be close to him. As close as humanly possible, and that was what I needed. I curled into him and sighed. I was happy and I needed this.
"What's wrong Teddy?"
"I know you think I'm not worried about Stephanie, and I am, but not as much as I'm worried about you. Johnny, it isn't important to worry. Linda has assured us she is no longer working for her, and Ali won't hire her. Stephanie's too worried about having a job. Look, worry about the pasta salad. Worry about how Josh and Matt are going to be a father. Worry about Gail and Cody's daughter. Worry about your career. Worry about us. Just don't worry about Stephanie."
And I knew he was listening. Melissa started crying from the other room, and I went to get up with her, but Johnny surprised me. He untangled himself from me and went in to get her. He was bouncing her around and giggling with her. I knew what he was doing, he was trying to rile her up, so that later it would be impossible to put her to sleep. He lay her down in bed with me and then lay down. And I knew this was something I could live for everyday. Something that when I come home from being on the road, that I have something to look forward to.
I don't want to miss one smile
I don't want to miss one kiss
I just want to be with you
Right here with you, just like this
And I just want to hold you close
Feel your heart so close to mine
And just stay here in this moment
For all the rest of time
"Teddy, the taco salad is good."
"Johnny! That taco salad is for the party later!"
"Do we really have to go to Matt and Josh's? I mean really? We didn't have a party when we brought Melissa home."
"True, but we also had a surrogate. They adopted."
"Ah yes. How is Mickie these days?"
He asked me. Mickie hadn't had any contact with us since Melissa was four months old. She was busy with music making these days, but we did keep in touch via Twitter. I shrugged and stirred the potato salad he'd made just a few minutes prior. I tasted it and then smiled. It was amazing.
"Mickie's good. She's based out of Nashville, now. So it's kind of hard to keep in touch with her. But the last time she Tweeted me, she said that things were going good and to kiss the baby and you for her. So here, this is from Mickie."
I said, kissing him long and slow. We were standing in the kitchen making out with each other when I heard a throat clearing in the doorway. I reluctantly broke the kiss and looked in the doorway. It was my brother, Brett. I sighed and walked over to him.
"Dude, what are you doing here?"
"Leah kicked me out. I need a place to stay. Mom and dad wouldn't let me stay there, so I flew here. Can I please stay here? I haven't seen the baby in awhile. And I promise I'll be out of your way."
And just before I could answer, John came with Melissa in tow and smiled. He extended a hand towards Brett, who took it and shook it lovingly. He'd always said he'd liked Brett and I wondered now just what he was going to do. I sighed and invited him in.
"Sure man, you know we've always got the room. And besides, Melissa loves you. We were just headed out, but you're more than welcome to stay. I'm sure it's been a long flight for you. Can I get you anything?"
"A gun to shoot myself with."
He said, setting his bag down. I watched as John put Melissa on the floor, and then Brett scooped her up and buried his head in her face. John pulled a bottle of Wild Turkey out of the cabinet and filled a glass half way. He slid it in front of Brett and watched as Melissa settled contentedly into Brett's arms.
"Drink that. Teddy and I are going to talk. You're welcome to stay as long as you need to."
Johnny said, leading me into the office. He closed the door and I leaned on the desk. My heart melted at the sight of him accepting my brother. I watched as he came closer to me and pulled me tightly into his arms. I sighed, because there was no place that I would rather be at that point.
"Why?"
"Because you'd do the same thing for my sisters. You have done the same thing for Kelly and Elise. So, I'm returning the favor. And, I do like him. He's been the most accepting of everyone we love. I mean it, Teddy. He can stay for as long as he needs too. Come on, we're going to be late."
He said, pulling me out into the kitchen. We grabbed the bowls and carried them out to the car. As I was walking, I got to thinking. I must've had some strange spacey look on my face, because Johnny was shaking me forcefully. I shook my head and smiled at him.
"What happened to you, love? You were just kinda out there."
"I was thinking about how truly in love with you I fall everyday."
And Johnny smiled that dopey grin just for me, and I knew he felt the same way. We got into the car, taco salads, potato salads and everything and drove to Matt and Josh's. We walked into that party even deeper in love than we've ever been. And just because of the whole situation with Brett.
Don't want to close my eyes
I don't want to fall asleep
'Cause I'd miss you baby
And I don't want to miss a thing
Cause even when I dream of you
The sweetest dream would never do
I'd still miss you baby
And I don't want to miss a thing
Don't want to close my eyes
I don't want to fall asleep
I don't want to miss a thing
And so I carry these memories with me as I go on the road. Sure, Johnny and I are on the same show, now. But sometimes with house shows it's difficult to be together. So, we try. And I know that when I sleep, he'll be right there with me. We trade off on road shows. I'll go, then he'll go. Sometimes, phone calls are never enough, so we have these memories. And they keep me going.
