AN :: Love letters seem to drown in flowerly language. These are strongly influenced by real letters written to real people during a time when the language of love was as detailed and ornate as the worlds they lived in. If you want to place Lik's story let's say it's AU set in the 20s. The affair happened, but in April this...
✽✽✽Hesitation✽✽✽
Dearest Elizabeth,
I wish I could say I gave my heart to you in the moment I first saw you, perhaps then you would believe me when I say I love you. The truth is I cannot as I loved Emily and a part of my heart died with her. I can tell you that from the moment I met you, you challenged and intrigued. It is your friendship that brought me back to life after Emily's passing
In writing this letter I put it all before you, my mended heart and my life. It is yours to do as you wish but know that I will go on living without you. I must for Spencer and our unborn child. If you wish it this will be my last letter, the final word on this topic. My love is a gift, not meant to be a prison.
Nikolas
My old friend,
Don't overly love me. Lucky did, he bracketed me at a level where the fall has crushed me. Don't price me too high as I have many faults. Selfishness is perhaps my greatest sin. I trembled with fear upon reading your promise of never speaking of your love again.
What if you really do love me? What if you aren't just replacing Emily? Are you sure you will love me forever? Do you love me only as repentance for our sin against Lucky?
If I were a good friend, a good person, I would tell you there is no chance, thank you for the gift of your love but send it back unopened. I cannot.
I fear and I hope.
Elizabeth
Cherished Elizabeth,
I too fear and hope. Your words sooth and crush me, terrify and elate. How do I answer your questions without sounding the immoderate lover? Give truth without falling into unbelievable hyperbole?
Selfishness is a sin for which I am not unaware. If you are selfish, I am more so. I knew when our affair coincided with your re-engagement with Lucky all that I risked. I risked a long fought for friendship with my brother, I risked you. You were and remain the greater risk. I can be happy without Lucky, the world is bleak without you. There is nothing to repent. I made my choice.
As for replacing Emily, that is something you can never do and it is something I would never ask of you. You have always been Elizabeth. You are a challenging minx, a sexy earth mother, a flirt and a tease. More than that, you are my teacher with moments of quiet wisdom, especially in regards to other people. But you can be blind when it comes to yourself.
Gustave Flaubert wrote to his love Louise Colet, "Only three things are infinite: the sky in its stars, the sea in its drops of water, and the heart in its tears." I cannot tell you the future, I can only give an example from our past. You and I have been friends for many years, you have been a cherished love one for over ten, last year you became a fire in my blood, one that grows stronger everyday. Every moment I know you, every new thing I learn, makes me love and want you more.
Infinitely yours,
Nikolas
Dear Nikolas,
Every car door or noise I've heard today made my heart leap in anticipation. There were moments when I feared the postman would never come and if he did, would there be a letter? Cameron brought in the mail, I couldn't bring myself to do it.
Your letter was on top, thick vellum, cream and black. Elegant like you. I traced my name on the envelope, I hesitated to open it. I'm glad I did.
I am all contradiction, this past year has been full of contrary movements, which can be explained by three little words: I love you.
Elizabeth
✽✽✽Felicitation✽✽✽
Husband,
If you were here I would whisper something to you. A secret. I would lull you into a quiet moment and when least suspecting it I would whisper of my love.
The baby kicks as I write this and soon we will have a new child, a brother or sister for the boys. I gaze at them as they play seeking your features in Spencer's and mine in Cam and Jake's. I fill the time of our parting imaging which of our features the baby will inherit. Will he have your eyes or will she have mine?
Perhaps I will start a new painting, create our little one on canvas just to see if my guesses are correct.
I shall cover you in kisses upon your return. Hurry back to me.
Missing you,
Your Wife
Wife, my beautiful Elizabeth,
Our child, I imagine her looking exactly as you. Yes, you must do the painting and soon when our little family grows we shall sit for a family portrait.
You wish to cover me in kisses. Where? When? How soon upon my return?
My business is complete; I shall be on the next steamer home.
Wanting you always, missing you dearly,
Nikolas
Darling,
You'll laugh to read this as you've just left me to take the older boys home and tuck them in bed. You have been gone but five minutes and already my eyes ache for the sight of you. I must content myself with gazing adoringly on our beautiful son.
He has your hands and your smile. The poor dear has been cursed with my feet. Perhaps he'll grow out of them. He is nestled on my chest, his little heart beat pounding strongly against mine. He is strong, a fighter, a little fire brand. He already fits in this family, the perfect corner puzzle piece.
My love, he already has your imperious look down. Our little despot is demanding his food, as his father, he has no patience in his hunger.
My heart laughs with joy to behold him. I am thinking of you and counting the seconds until you return.
Elizabeth
Letter included with the mother's gift.
Beautiful Elizabeth,
I'm altogether lost in happiness. You placed our son into my arms this early evening and entrusted me again with the safe keeping of someone dear to you.
Nothing else counts. Had he not been my son that moment makes him so. I have you, your love, and your trust. I swear I will continue to work to be worthy of you and our family until the day I die.
Today, not only am I not afraid or sad but I am deeply happy and secure.
Bound in love,
Nikolas
