The Tale Of Sir Jango Fett
Disclamer: Sadly, I own nothing.
C-3PO: So, each of the Jedi Knights went their seperate ways. Sir Jango Fett rode north, through the dark forest
of Ewing, accompanied by his favourite minstrels.
Minstrel (singing): Bravely bold Sir Jango Fett rode forth from Yavin 4.
He was not afraid to die, O brave Sir Jango Fett.
He was not at all afraid to be killed in nasty ways,
Brave, brave, brave, brave Sir Jango Fett!
He was not in the least bit scared to be mashed into a pulp,
Or to have his eyes gouged out with a burning stick and his elbows broken,
To have kneecaps split and his body burned away
And his limbs hacked and mangled, brave Sir Jango Fett!
His head smashed in and his heart cut out with a Yuuzhan Vong amphistaff
And his liver removed and his bowels unplugged
And his nostrils raped and his bottom burned off
And his penis............
Jango Fett: That's-- that's enough music for now, lads. Heh. Look's like there's dirty work afoot.
(Palpatine and Mon Mothma jog by)
Palpatine: Anarcho-syndicalism is a way of preserving freedom.
Mon Mothma: Oh, forget about freedom. We haven't got enough mud.
Three-headed-Grand Admiral Thrawn: Halt! (dramatic music chord) Who art thou?
Minstrel (singing): He is brave Sir Jango Fett, brave Sir Jango Fett, who............
Jango: Shut up! Um, n-- n-- n-- nobody, really. I'm j-- j-- j-- just passing through.
All heads: What do you want?
Minstrel (singing): To find the..........
Jango: Shut up! Um, oo, n-- nothing really. I, uh, j-- j-- just -- just to, um, pass through, good Sir Knight.
All heads: I'm afraid not!
Jango: Ah. W-- well, actually, I am a Jedi Knight.
All heads: You're a Jedi Knight?
Jango: I am.
Left head: In that case, I shall have to kill you.
Middle head: Shall I?
Right head: Oh, I don't think so.
Middle head: Well, what do I think?
Left head: I think kill him.
Right head: Oh, let's be nice to him.
Left head: Oh, shut up.
Jango: Perhaps I could.......
Left head: And you! Quick, get the sword out. I want to cut him head off.
Right head: Oh, cut your own head off!
Middle head: Yes, do us all a favour.
Left head: What?
Right head: Yapping on all the time.
Middle head: You're lucky you're not next to him.
Left head: What do you mean?
Middle head: You snore!
Left head: Oh, I don't. Anyway, you've got bad breath.
Middle head: Well, it's only because you don't brush my teeth.
Right head: Oh, stop bitching and let's go have tea.
Left head: Oh, all right. All right. All right. We'll kill him first and then have tea and biscuits.
Middle head: Yes.
Right head: Oh, not biscuits.
Left head: All right! All right, not biscuits, but let's kill him anyway!
All heads: Right! (they look around)
Middle head: He buggerd off.
Right head: So he has. He's scarpered.
Minstrel (singing): Brave Sir Jango Fett ran away,
Jango: No!
Minstrel (singing): Bravely ran away, away.
Jango: I didn't!
Minstrel (singing): When danger reared its ugly head, he bravely turned hid tailand fled.
Jango: No!
Minstrel (singing): Yes, brave Sir Jango Fett turned about
Jango: I didn't!
Minstrel (singing): And gallantly, he chickened out. Bravely taking to his feet,
Jango: I never did!
Minstrel (singing): He beat a very brave retreat,
Jango: All lies!
Minstrel (singing): Bravest of the brave, Sir Jango Fett.
Jango: I never!
Disclamer: Sadly, I own nothing.
C-3PO: So, each of the Jedi Knights went their seperate ways. Sir Jango Fett rode north, through the dark forest
of Ewing, accompanied by his favourite minstrels.
Minstrel (singing): Bravely bold Sir Jango Fett rode forth from Yavin 4.
He was not afraid to die, O brave Sir Jango Fett.
He was not at all afraid to be killed in nasty ways,
Brave, brave, brave, brave Sir Jango Fett!
He was not in the least bit scared to be mashed into a pulp,
Or to have his eyes gouged out with a burning stick and his elbows broken,
To have kneecaps split and his body burned away
And his limbs hacked and mangled, brave Sir Jango Fett!
His head smashed in and his heart cut out with a Yuuzhan Vong amphistaff
And his liver removed and his bowels unplugged
And his nostrils raped and his bottom burned off
And his penis............
Jango Fett: That's-- that's enough music for now, lads. Heh. Look's like there's dirty work afoot.
(Palpatine and Mon Mothma jog by)
Palpatine: Anarcho-syndicalism is a way of preserving freedom.
Mon Mothma: Oh, forget about freedom. We haven't got enough mud.
Three-headed-Grand Admiral Thrawn: Halt! (dramatic music chord) Who art thou?
Minstrel (singing): He is brave Sir Jango Fett, brave Sir Jango Fett, who............
Jango: Shut up! Um, n-- n-- n-- nobody, really. I'm j-- j-- j-- just passing through.
All heads: What do you want?
Minstrel (singing): To find the..........
Jango: Shut up! Um, oo, n-- nothing really. I, uh, j-- j-- just -- just to, um, pass through, good Sir Knight.
All heads: I'm afraid not!
Jango: Ah. W-- well, actually, I am a Jedi Knight.
All heads: You're a Jedi Knight?
Jango: I am.
Left head: In that case, I shall have to kill you.
Middle head: Shall I?
Right head: Oh, I don't think so.
Middle head: Well, what do I think?
Left head: I think kill him.
Right head: Oh, let's be nice to him.
Left head: Oh, shut up.
Jango: Perhaps I could.......
Left head: And you! Quick, get the sword out. I want to cut him head off.
Right head: Oh, cut your own head off!
Middle head: Yes, do us all a favour.
Left head: What?
Right head: Yapping on all the time.
Middle head: You're lucky you're not next to him.
Left head: What do you mean?
Middle head: You snore!
Left head: Oh, I don't. Anyway, you've got bad breath.
Middle head: Well, it's only because you don't brush my teeth.
Right head: Oh, stop bitching and let's go have tea.
Left head: Oh, all right. All right. All right. We'll kill him first and then have tea and biscuits.
Middle head: Yes.
Right head: Oh, not biscuits.
Left head: All right! All right, not biscuits, but let's kill him anyway!
All heads: Right! (they look around)
Middle head: He buggerd off.
Right head: So he has. He's scarpered.
Minstrel (singing): Brave Sir Jango Fett ran away,
Jango: No!
Minstrel (singing): Bravely ran away, away.
Jango: I didn't!
Minstrel (singing): When danger reared its ugly head, he bravely turned hid tailand fled.
Jango: No!
Minstrel (singing): Yes, brave Sir Jango Fett turned about
Jango: I didn't!
Minstrel (singing): And gallantly, he chickened out. Bravely taking to his feet,
Jango: I never did!
Minstrel (singing): He beat a very brave retreat,
Jango: All lies!
Minstrel (singing): Bravest of the brave, Sir Jango Fett.
Jango: I never!
