Alfred was the boy that Chiara was never good enough for.

He was the sweetest guy that she's ever known. His dorky smile made her day, his blue eyes always overwhelmed her every time she gazed at them with how many feelings Alfred left bare to the world, and no matter the situation, Alfred was always able to make Chiara feel like she was perfect.

He was too good for her. Every time Alfred would look at her with those beautiful blue eyes full of emotions that they were too young to truly understand, Chiara chest would tighten with guilt. At a time, there was love that she felt for him. There was indeed parts of their relationship where the thought of leaving him never crossed her mind. There was moments where they would be sleeping in the same room or the same house just to spend more time together and Chiara would card her fingers through his hair while he slept. While she suffered insomnia and her eyes burned with the lack of rest and her limbs were sore with exertion, she would just comb her fingers through his hair and if she was too tired for that, lay down next to him. She spent many of nights cuddling into his chest and feeling her heart flutter every time Alfred mumbled something under his breath and shifted closer to her.

Not once would she ever tell him, but there was a time where the thought of giving everything to him seemed like the only logical thing to do.

That night out in the field, underneath the stars, surrounded by nothing but a long stretch of grass and dirt, Chiara was ready to give her everything to him. They were lying in the back of his pick up with a blanket placed down for comfort. It was kind of fuzzy how they got into it but Chiara remembers kissing his lips, his cheeks, his neck, anything he would let her muttering how much she loved him and how important he was to her. Alfred's hands roamed her body as he gave her the opportunity to do whatever she wanted, never crossing any boundaries but satisfying their desire none the less.

The night was beautiful. It was perfect. Seeing her lipstick that she overdid that night in an attempt to make him pay attention to her, to kiss her, on his neck and his collar bone that peaked out of his t-shirt was her proudest moment. It filled her with passion to see it. It was intoxicating.

It was what made her stop loving him.

Alfred looked up at her with adoring eyes, hair a mess and kiss marks on his neck. Chiara looked down at him with his hands on her hips and eyes filled with longing and guilt.

She wasn't good enough for him.

Chiara never forgot that feeling. That feeling that she was on top of the world but didn't deserve a single second of it. That she was stealing and corrupting the last good person in the whole town. That as big as she felt, she was the smallest person for her actions.

It was that feeling that made her stop loving him. She still cared for Alfred. That stare in the restaurant made her somewhat worried with how lost and distraut he looked but she wouldn't kiss him or hug him so intimately like they've done so many times before. She didn't see him that way. During their time together, she placed him on a kind of pedestal that always made him feel out of touch and her not good enough.

Antonio was so stupid and confused in this new town that Chiara never had the option to do that with him. Over summer break she taught him how to go around and what would help him out in school. One thing lead to another and they were admitting they liked each other but didn't quite know what to do from there. She was happier with Antonio because he was her equal. Chiara didn't feel guilty when she held his hand or playfully insulted him.

Alfred was perfect.

Antonio was an idiot.

She picked Antonio and despite the bits of loneliness she felt in the night when she didn't have Alfred to hold and the flutter she felt in her chest whenever she knew Alfred was looking at her, Chiara knew she made the right decision and that those feelings would pass. She was happy.

Or at least, was trying to be.


I thought about writing Chiara's side ever since I wrote Alfred's side, tbh. For some reason I figured that right after I wake up at 6:53 in the morning was the best time to do this. Hope you enjoy? I don't know, I don't feel like I did a good job with this one.