Pre-Author's Note: Just another series of one-shots. Just for fun. Don't worry peoples, I haven't forgotten about Ignorance is Bliss. Also this won't seem like Axiku at the beginning but believe me, this story is AxelRiku. Yup.

Disclaimer: This story is so AU I shouldn't even have to put in a disclaimer.

-Sora's got some new pets.-

Ever since he was a little kid there had always been one thing Sora wanted. Yes, he had really wanted this thing for a long time. And now, after much begging and groveling on his part… He'd finally gotten it.

And this thing is? Guinea pigs!

Yeah, yeah… Maybe they weren't the manliest pets in the world. But then again, Sora wasn't the manliest man in the world. So all things considered, guinea pigs suited Sora rather nicely. Kairi however, viewed the whole thing as ridiculous.

"A guy shouldn't own guinea pigs," she said with distaste evident on her features.

Sora pouted and grumbled back a, "Well I think they're cute," in response.

"Oh c'mon Kairi!" said Selphie cheerfully as she bounced up to the duo out of nowhere, "I think it's totally fine for a guy to like guinea pigs! It just means they have good taste."

"Whatever," scoffed the redhead, her head snapped up when she spotted Tidus and Wakka headed their way, "Oh hey you guys."

"What's up?" asked Tidus, eyeing Kairi's annoyed expression, Selphie's thin lipped smile and Sora's distinct grumbling.

"I'm going to the pet store after school today to get my new pet guinea pigs," mumbled Sora, still looking extremely downcast. Tidus did a double take.

"You're seriously getting guinea pigs, dude?!"

"Uh yeah…"

"Whoa," breathed Tidus as he exhaled slowly, "…Whoa. I mean God… How long have you wanted a couple of those?"

Sora sighed exasperatedly, "A long time."

"Well, then I guess it's good you're finally getting them right?" asked Tidus laughing along with Wakka and Selphie.

"Yeah… Yeah! Yup!" said Sora brightening up again.

-

"Hey Sora!"
"Oh! Kairi! What are you doing here?" asked Sora as he opened the door to his family's home a bit wider. Kairi stepped in and smiled at him.

"I wanted to see your new pets I…" she hesitated, "And apologize for my behavior earlier today. It's okay for a guy to like guinea pigs I guess…"

"It's okay," said Sora, and his face suddenly went from serious to cheerful so fast Kairi found herself blinking in disbelief, "Here c'mon! You can come meet them!"

In the middle of Sora's living room sat a nicely sized cage. Providing ample room for the two guinea pigs sitting inside.

"Oh my gosh!" squealed Kairi as she quickly dropped to her knees in front of the cage, "They're so cute!"

"I know right?" said Sora joining her in kneeling on the floor, "Here, let me properly introduce you to them…"

He reached into the cage, as soon as his massive hands entered both guinea pigs began backing up slowly. Eventually however Sora managed to gently pick up one of them.

"This one," he said holding up the guinea pig to demonstrate, "his name is Axel."

"Are they both guys?" asked Kairi, taking Axel out of Sora's hands and placing him on her lap.

"Uh-huh," said Sora as he began tentatively taking the other guinea pig out, "it's better to get two guy guinea pigs because if you get a guy and a girl they multiply."

Kairi looked down at Axel, the guinea pig blinked back up at her innocently. Axel's coat was very unique. It was a brilliant shade of red, and right underneath both of the rodent's eyes were two green patches of fur that resembled triangles.

"His fur is such a strange color," murmured Kairi as she ran her hand along Axel's rounded body. Beside her Sora nodded eagerly.

"I know," he began, "they told me they had no explanation for it. I think it's pretty cool don't you?"

"Yeah," said Kairi softly as Axel shuffled about on her lap with his stubby little legs, "You know what the cutest thing about guinea pigs is?" she asked.

"What?" asked Sora.

"They're so chubby," she replied giving Axel's bottom a very small very gentle playful smack, "I mean… They've got these short little legs and they're so… Fat it's cute."

"Yeah, I see what you mean," said Sora as he lifted the other guinea pig to get a good look at his fat bottom.

"What's his name?" asked Kairi, jerking her head in the direction of the one Sora was holding.

"His name is Riku."

"That's a cute name," remarked Kairi lightly, she eyes Riku's sparkling silver fur, "he's adorable. But I think you might be freaking him out a little Sora."

Yes it seemed Riku was a tad bit scared of the blue-eyed giant that was so gently holding him for he was squirming and squealing like mad. Axel, who had noticed this squirming from his position on Kairi's lap, squeaked at Sora angrily before biting the brunette teenager.

"Ouch!" Sora yelped before carefully placing Riku back on the floor. He and Kairi decided to play with the pigs for a while so they set up a small wooden perimeter around the cage. Allowing the rodents to run around without necessarily being free to roam around the entire house.

"Uh… Sora?" asked Kairi weakly.

"Hm? What?" asked Sora looking up to see where Kairi was pointing to, his eyes narrowed as he caught sight of his guinea pigs, "What are they doing?"

Indeed it was a little hard to tell. It could've been that the guinea pigs were just playing tag. But somehow, Sora and Kairi sensed some deeper meaning behind the way Axel was chasing Riku around the pen.

"You think… Maybe we should separate them? Axel might be trying to attack Riku," said Kairi uneasily as the guinea pigs continued waddling around as fast as their little legs could carry them.

"No," said Sora shaking his head slightly, "They're probably just playing…"

Axel was chasing Riku around the pen in circles, finally after making a stupendous leap (that seemed impossible considering how short his legs were) he landed firmly on top of Riku's back. He gave a little squeal of joy at having finally caught up with the smaller of the two.

"They. Are. So. CUTE!!!" shrilled Kairi as she and Sora laughed at the guinea pigs' antics. Their expressions fell however when they noticed that Axel still hadn't gotten off of Riku.

"Is it… dead?"

"I don't think so he-…"

And that was when Axel began moving again, rubbing his front half up against Riku's round, furry bottom in what could only be taken for…

"Oh my God," whispered Sora.

"He's… They're…" Kairi struggled to find the right words to say what was happening without actually saying IT.

After a while, Axel got off of Riku and the two guinea pigs waddled over to their cage before falling asleep next to each other in the corner. Kairi and Sora stared at each other. Each with their own stunned expression of frozen shock.

"Sora," said Kairi taking a deep breath and swallowing before she continued, "Your guinea pigs are gay…"

Author's Note: Oh my God. This is so much fun to write! HA HA! Anyways, this story was inspired by my good friend pinkfuzzyfluff. Her cousin has two gay guinea pigs. I'm dead serious. They really are gay for each other. No joking. It's a true story. So when pinkfuzzyfluff told me about them I couldn't help but be inspired.

Also, the reason I've been writing so many mediocre one shots lately is because I'm currently suffering from writer's block. So I'm trying to get back in my writing swing by writing a few one shots. I think it's working slowly.

Please review people; it IS MY BRITHDAY after all. Wouldn't you like to give me a niiiiice loooong review as a present? Hm? It's the right thing to do.

bliss