A/N: My response to the ludicrous month of being ignored! What normal girl would do nothing, but sit pathetically by while he pointedly treated her like a pariah?
Bella
So I'll just pretend nothing happened and see how he react's, that should be okay I think? We were both angry at the hospital, he's had all night to see it was he that asked me to lie for him, so the onus is on him to give me some sort of explanation. I know he saved my life and I am extremely grateful, but I was brought up to believe you had only three things to offer someone that didn't cost money.
'Honesty' 'Loyalty' 'Fidelity'
I've hardly known him anytime and he has made me break the first already, I was never going to say anything about it, god in heaven, who would believe me if I tried? Okay, pep talk over everything will be fine today.
"Hello, Edward," I say as I sit down in biology, he turns his head to me and just curtly nods, then looks away. He's sitting as far away as he can without being in the aisle. What a dick! No, what a lying dick! What are we five years old and if he ignores me I'll disappear? Asshole! But the fact that he's prepared to immediately renege on his word shows me lies come far too easily for him.
So he wishes to pretend I don't exist, so be it but I'm not going to make it easy for him. He wants to play games and expects me to just take it and do nothing, he doesn't know who he's messing with. I may look like a pushover, but I am anything but. Let the games begin.
I spread my things out a bit more on the desk he's barely using. Twenty minutes into class and the teacher got pulled away for an urgent phone call, everyone carried on working but chatting as well. So I started to hum to myself Fleetwood Mac's Little Lies, supposedly as I worked and as I got to the relevant lines I sang them softly out loud:
So I'll settle for one day
to believe in you,
Tell me, tell me, tell me lies
Then once again humming along as if I didn't have a care in the world. But out of the corner of my eye, I saw him stiffen and his fists clench on his thighs, good message received and understood. I was going to make this as painful as possible for you buster.
As per usual, He was up and out of his seat as soon as the bell sounded. I smiled to myself for my little bit of quick thinking on the song front and prepared myself for the horror that was gym.
Edward
I knew as soon as she spoke to me in biology after lunch this was not going to be as easy as I had thought. I had worked out how I would react, but never once during the night had I considered how she would take my silence. I had definitely underestimated her.
When the teacher left the room I was astounded, she started to hum a tune and me, of course, recognised it right away. But as she reached a certain part she actually sang the words and I felt them as if they had stabbed me. She was calling me out on not holding up my end of our agreement yesterday, basically, she called me a liar to my face and I could do nothing but agree.
I have never hated myself as much as I do right now. Surely she'll get bored with me ignoring her and just do the same in return, dear god I hope so, this was day one and it was torture already. She was bound to be less angry tomorrow and that will be good so that I could then just sit and berate myself for my own folly.
Bella
Last night I emailed Renee, my mother to send on the rest of my clothes, I had thought I would be unable to wear most of them. But with a cardigan, shrug or jacket a lot would work out okay here too. So with that sorted, I planned my next step in the make Edward feel like a shit, campaign. I was going to be much higher profile just to annoy him and attract some attention to myself, therefore our table in biology.
So I laid out a pair of skinny jeans, knee high boots and a fitted top with a shrug over it for a little warmth. The top had a scoop neck and I planned to wear my hair up in a high ponytail. A little makeup and minimal jewellery should do it. I already was the shiny new toy so why not help it along. The next day was grey and overcast, good, I had already noticed they didn't turn up on sunny days.
The Cullens were my new obsession, they didn't want me to know their secrets and I was determined to find out. Hell, mend them, should have told me the truth when they had the chance and I knew they were all in on it even the good Doctor.
As I pulled into the parking lot at school the next morning the parking space next to his Volvo was empty. They were all in the car as if they had just arrived and they looked like they were arguing. I set my next bit of the plan in motion as I turned on the tape deck in my truck to play Lying Eyes by The Eagles, as I did yesterday I hummed along until the lines I wanted him to hear and I sang clearly:
You can't hide your lyin' eyes,
and your smile is a thin disguise
My window was down and I saw him pinching the bridge of his nose and Alice smirking as if to say 'I told you so'. How she would know I would continue my campaign I don't know, another mystery for me to solve. I switched off the engine of my truck and climbed down from the cab. I was wearing my parka with the hood up, as this was Forks and the chances of rain were high.
I won't see them again till lunchtime so I got on with the rest of my day and forgot about Edward Cullen as best as I could.
Edward
I was starting to feel as if I was getting a headache and that's impossible for a vampire. I was convinced that today would be better and Bella would just ignore me too, but Alice kept smirking at me and singing some stupid song in her head on repeat.
I was arguing with her in the car as Bella arrived at school and of course, I was wrong about her reactions today, as she pulled up beside my car she was singing along to the song emanating from her truck and it was once again aimed at me. They rest of them were sniggering and I was so angry, "Why can't she let it go?" I demanded, there was silence in the car and then I was deluged with their thoughts.
About what an utter asshole I was, how I needed to grow up and or man up, and finally, Jasper said out loud "This is your mess Edward, not Bella's. You need to face the fact that just because you want a thing, don't mean you're gonna get it. You are the one in the wrong here, not her. Fix it!"
I spent the rest of the morning trying to work out a way to talk to her but tell her nothing, but I knew that just wouldn't work with her at all. During this whole time, I kept getting images of her looking very pretty in a tighter more fitting outfit than she had ever worn before to school, in the minds of mainly the boys. It was distracting and unhelpful, by the time lunch arrived I was no further forward and needed Alice's help. What do I say? What can I tell her? That isn't a lie or the truth either! Why was this so hard? I've never had trouble lying before, why now? Why her? Dear god, this was only day two and I was desperate for a respite.
Bella
As I entered the cafeteria and joined the lunch queue, I switched on my walkman and caught the last few lines of You Lie by The Band Perry:
It just comes so dang natural to you,
The way you lie,
Well, it's what you do, It's who you are.
I couldn't help but glance over at his family's table and he was staring at me with a pained expression on his face that I didn't understand. It's not as if he cared what I thought of him and anyway he couldn't hear my music from over there.
I switched it back off as I went to sit with Jess and Angela. But was sure he was watching me the whole time. I shrugged it off and chatted with everyone about everything and nothing in particular. I was dreading the next hour, Angela seemed to notice and ask "You okay Bella?"
"Yeah, just not looking forward to biology much," I told her. "But you're ahead of all of us in that class, so it's not the work? What's the problem? Oh! your lab partner hmm?" she mused and I nodded. It was going to fastly become my least favourite class and for someone who hated Trig, that was bad news. But the silent treatment from him was hard to take and so darned unfair, I don't deserve this.
"Yes, I noticed Edward was not talking to you! It seems strange almost as if he regrets saving you! But that can't possibly be right can it?" Angela said lowering her voice so only I heard. " I'm really happy and thankful he did, don't get me wrong Angela, but his attitude since is as if I'm a big inconvenience to him. I don't know what I did? I started to talk to him yesterday and he cut me dead and hasn't uttered a word since. It's maddening and making me so bloody angry." I confide in her.
I don't mention anything about him physically stopping the van or the backtracking on his promise, once again making me have to lie. I really am starting to dislike Edward Cullen. She shook her head and looked their way, I don't know what she was thinking but Edward was hanging his head as if he'd been chastised, another strange thing to ponder. It's almost like he reads people's minds, I panic a bit, then think don't be stupid Bella.
When I glance over again Alice is talking animatedly and glancing at me then back at Edward as if telling him he has to do something soon! I'm really confused now, how could she know I had been thinking about him and the possibility of him reading other's minds, but not mine I decided for some reason. Otherwise, he would know how mad at him I was and at least apologise. I need to test out my theory soon! At that, the bell rang and we all got up to clear away before class.
Edward
I'm sitting here at lunch feeling like a fool, so far I've had the pleasure of my family telling me how immature I'm behaving and then the slap in the face from the song playing on Bella's walkman. That really hurt to realise she thinks that's who I am, a natural born liar. I thought I was doing this to protect her from what we are, but it has just come across as me protecting myself alone.
Now I hear she hates going to biology because of me, it's one of her best classes and I've ruined it for her. But the icing on the cake was Angela's thoughts, how she has lost all respect for me, one of the few humans I liked and was happy to be around, she was disgusted by my attitude and level of immaturity. I was starting to wallow in self-pity when Alice's head whipped up and told me to get my head out of my ass, Bella was working out I could read minds by my reactions to everyone.
Could this day get any worse? "What am I to do?" I beg. "You need to make a decision Edward," says Alice, "Yes either tell her, then change her or kill her but make up your mind!" said Rose and I growled at her, that was not happening. I can't damn her to this life. "You don't know if it would be damning her Edward because you won't actually talk to her like a grown up. It's blatantly obvious she's way more mature than you are!" quips Alice as we all rise to go to class. God damn it, I know their right.
Bella
I was doodling on my notepad when he arrived, I hadn't been playing attention to what I'd done. Glancing down at it now I saw I had been repeating the words 'Honesty, Loyalty, Fidelity' over and over filling most of the sheet. I ripped it out and screwed it into a ball as he sat, but I'm sure he saw it by the tension rolling off him. I heard him draw a breath as if he was going to speak, so I turned my back to him and called Mike across.
"Hey, Mike what's this about a trip to La Push? I haven't been to the Rez in years, the Chief is friends with their Chief" I laughed to him. "Yeah, we were thinking of getting a bunch of us together for a bonfire and see the tide pools," he told me. "Ah, the tide pools and I are well acquainted, due to falling in them at least twice every year I came to visit Charlie," I tell him solemnly and then we both burst out laughing.
Just then the teacher arrives so I say to Mike "Count me in for the bonfire, I may give the tide pools a miss this time, though" he's looking very happy as he returns to his seat "Yeah, maybe best to" he answers sniggering. I turn back to face the front and flick my ponytail over my head so it's between Edward and me, like a shield. He stiffened momentarily and I wondered what that was all about.
After about ten minutes Edward slides a note under my elbow that's on the desk. I look at it, then him then back to it, it takes me a few minutes to decide to read it and I carefully open it up. His elegant penmanship puts everyone else's to shame, of course, I doubt he does anything badly:
Bella,
I am so sorry for the way I have behaved towards you, I know that ignoring you has been beyond childish and I am ashamed of myself for that. I would like to talk to you if you will allow me too, I hope to be able to give you an acceptable explanation of my behaviour and why I thought it was necessary.
Yours
Edward Cullen
Wow, so formal and courteous, very old-fashioned, but do I accept? Well, I want to know but it has to be the truth and everything about the van stopping and all. I scribble a response saying yes after school at my house, about 4:30 pm and it better be the whole truth or I will approach his father for my answers.
I make a point of not looking at him and I do not speak to him for the rest of the class, I know it's petty but he deserves it.
Edward
I was going to speak to Bella as soon as I entered the biology class, but seeing her doodling and seemingly lost in her own thoughts gave me pause. When I saw what was written on the notepad I was once again reminded what I had done to this poor girl in the space of a few days, I was shaking her faith in obviously the three tenants she lived by, Honesty, Loyalty and Fidelity.
Well, I had made her break the first repeatedly, but I wouldn't respond in kind and be honest with her, she was being loyal to me and my lies, god only knows why and I'm sure fidelity would be the most important thing she would give a partner if she had one.
I felt like the lowest form of humanity for the way I had totally dismissed her needs in this whole debacle. As always I thought of myself first as I had always done and expected her to follow my rules, even though she had no idea what they were. I really was turning out to be a rather narrow-minded selfish man and I didn't like me at all, so why would anyone else?
I drew a breath and turned to speak to her and got exactly what I deserved, she twisted away at once and started speaking to Newton, god I hate that boy. He was ecstatic that Bella wanted to talk and bounded over. They discussed a trip to First Beach he was planning and I hated the fact she could go somewhere I could not.
I listened intently to her joking and laughing with him, something she had never done with me, but then when did I give her a chance. Even when we were talking I was demanding answers from her and never giving her time to be herself, to relax and be natural. I found out her father and Chief Black were friends, close friends by the sound of it.
She laughed at her own inability to stay upright for any length of time, so as she spoke and I was bombarded by Newton's less than pleasant thoughts, I wrote her a quick note. I know it was too formal and cold, but I was floundering here, all of this is new to me. I never have any in-depth dealings with humans normally.
When class began I waited before sliding it under her arm, she made me wait before she read it. I could almost see her weighing up the pro's and con's, then she opened it and I waited with baited breath, well if I actually breathed I would have. Her reply was short and terse, but what was I expecting.
Yes, after school at my house, about 4:30 pm and it better be the whole truth or I will approach your father for my answers.
She then deliberately made a point of ignoring me for the rest of the class and I didn't blame her one little bit. She was being nicer than I deserved and for that, I was eternally grateful.
I hope I can give her the answers she wants, but I fear it won't be that simple and I am so scared I will make this worse not better. But I have to try for her sake if not mine. What is it about this particular human? What has me so confused and why do I feel so conflicted about her? She is an enigma and my own personal form of hell, I wish that I could read her mind, more than another mind, ever.
