DISCLAIMER: I don't own any characters you recognise!

Everything I'm Not

Chapter 1

Four years, 4 months and eight days. That's how long it's been since I was abandoned by the love of my life three days after my disastrous 18th birthday. There are still days where I wish I could be put out of my misery but those are rare now.

I've become a whole new person since that day in the woods. When Edward left I needed something to keep me busy. I wasn't even in my funk for a month when Angela dragged me along to one of those weekend dance workshops in Port Angeles which concentrated on contemporary, jazz, hip hop and a little musical theatre. She said I could use a little fun, and boy was it fun. I have to admit that I became a little obsessed, renting a number of musicals on DVD learning them by heart, taking three dance classes a week in Port Angeles and drama at school.

Within a month after that workshop I was a whole new person, I was no longer the shy little Bella who could hardly look anyone in the eye let alone walk in a straight line. I was confident, had a good self-esteem, looked healthy and even acquired a bit of an attitude.

When it was time to send away our college applications I found myself being up for multiple Performing Arts scholarships to become a dance/ drama teacher.

Charlie was proud. I have never seen him so happy in my entire life. When I told him that I was accepted to Roosevelt University in Chicago for performing arts his reaction was a smile that would remain in my memory for the rest of my life, followed by telling me how proud he was.

After graduation I flew to Jacksonville to spend some time with mom before I headed off to college in the fall. That was the first and only time I had seen any of the Cullen's since they left. Charlie was saying goodbye to me at Seattle airport when I saw Rosalie. I was just about to board when I saw her. She was still gorgeous as ever and looking impatient, most likely waiting on Emmett. She noticed me almost as soon as I saw her. I smiled in acknowledgement and gave a small nod; I was stunned to say the least to receive a small smile in return. That encounter made me work harder than before once I returned from Jacksonville and before I knew it, it was time for college.

Norah was my roommate in freshman year. We became very close friends within that time before we decided to get a place together at the start of our sophomore year. Mel came into the picture when we started taking Pole Dancing and acrobatic classes. She's a year older than us but started college at the same time and was working at the studio after lectures to get some extra cash. Mel was the one that introduced us to Tilly who is in her late thirties and owns a night club, which we all work at. But back to that later and back to what is happening now.

It's only mid-January, so of course its winter and the trees are completely bare, it's snowing, and I returned two days ago to the city after spending Christmas and the New Year in Forks with Charlie, Jacob, Billy and the Clearwater's.

Its 3.45pm and I'm on my way to work. A gust of wind made me shiver and wrap my thick black coat a little tighter around my body as I walked along the side walk amongst the mass of people beginning their weekend binge.

Tilly's is a club that is specially designed for Performing Arts students from the university and what I mean by that is the students dance, sing etc. all for the enjoyment of the clubs patrons and just for the fun of it and yes part of my job as is being one of these dancers along with Norah and Mel. We take care of the bar tending and speciality acts. We're not strippers either we promote the artistic and fitness side of what we do.

I adjusted my leather gloves and fixed the white scarf that was wrapped around my neck to keep me warm from the harsh wind as I waited for the lights to change. As I was doing so I could feel the burning stare of some one's eyes coming from beside me, I looked slightly to my right and there was a business man in his late forties checking out my goods. Disgusted I glared and swiftly let his foot meet the heel of my stiletto and continued on my way.

Only a couple of hundred yards left, to where warmth and hard liquor await me. Swiftly rounding the corner into the street where Tilly's is located. I stopped dead when I saw someone I thought I would never live to see again. The cause of my broken heart with his fingers entwined with others belonging to a girl who looked to be around my age, maybe younger, walking towards me. As if he saw me and wanted to make me feel worse than I already do, he leaned down and pressed his marble lips to hers. My heart broke into even smaller pieces if possible at the site. I felt instantly sick and I have never wanted a strong alcoholic drink so much in my life.

I kept walking, I was downwind from him and his 'distraction' so he hasn't picked up my scent, yet that is. He still didn't notice me as I got closer; my now plum coloured hair possibly made me a little unrecognisable; he kept paying attention to her. That hurt, it was the same look he used to give me but seemed more intense. The closer he got the more my heart pounded against my chest. Please don't notice me. Please don't notice me. Was the only thing running through my mind, and if luck is on my side he won't, but yet deep down inside all I want to do is yell and scream at him for all the hurt he has caused but I didn't, and of course just as we get within feet of each other, my bad luck just had to make its presence known because the wind changed direction. Fuuuuck! His head snapped up and I put my head down more, walked a little faster and tried to bury it more into my scarf and beanie. His cold fingers brushed against my gloved ones and I could feel his gaze on me as I walked passed. There weren't many people on this side walk so I couldn't lose myself from his sight in the crowd.

I kept walking, just as I was directly across from Tilly's I decided to cross. I could still feel his eyes on me. As I waited to cross I glanced in his direction, our eyes locked and I knew that no matter how hard I tried I wouldn't be able to hide the anger and hurt that was visible in my eyes from seeing him with someone else. His butterscotch eyes held confusion and something else that I couldn't make out. I felt a traitor tear quietly slide down my cheek but I quickly wiped it away.

"Bella?!" I looked over at the entry to the club and Miss Tilly McGregor herself was leaning against the door having a cigarette. "Come on sweet pea, there is a vodka, lime and soda inside and it has your name written all over it!" she hollered from across the street. I laughed, and ran across the street. Tilly gave me a quick hello hug and a drag of her smoke before we made our way inside. No I'm not a smoker but I do enjoy the odd cigarette on occasion.

I glanced back to where Edward was standing before we walked through the door but I could only see his back as he retreated around the corner.

Norah was already here and was sitting at the bar talking to Jim our bouncer, Matt resident bar tender and Tilly's husband, Will our DJ and of course Mel, they turned their heads towards us when they heard our shoes clacking against the hardwood floors.

"It's about time Bells!" Matt called

"Bella!" Norah and Mel called in unison and then burst into a fit of giggles.

"Gees I leave you alone with Mel for an hour and you're half cut already." I laughed.

"Bella baby, you know I'm not drunk because I don't drink... That's beside the point but anyway on to more important subjects. Tell me what's got your panties in a twist?" She said seriously.

"Nothing. Why?" I lied.

"I call bullshit." Mel chimmed.

"Seriously it was nothing!." I said confidently.

"I don't believe you" Damn she was good.

"Fine. I saw…him" My blood started boiling a little thinking about what I saw in the street.

"Oh honey. Did he see you?" Mel asked as she gave me a comforting hug handing me a drink while she was at it. I nodded, wiped the traitor tears away and sculled my drink. The warmth of the vodka sliding down my throat instantly made me feel better.

"That's the spirit. Now let's get half trashed before we open" Mel said enthusiastically.

The rest of the afternoon passed in a blur and before I knew it, the club was packed and everything was well under way.

It was almost eleven and I was having a good night and the events of this afternoon were almost completely out of my mind.

I was cleaning the top of the bar down before heading out to the change rooms to get ready for my nightly performance when I saw them. The entire god damn family descending the stairs that leads into the club. Carlisle and Esme were even with them. But the thing that caught my attention the most was how his arm was wrapped tightly around her waist. I was ropeable, and I could feel Mel put a comforting hand on my shoulder as we watched them find a table.

"Bells? You okay?" She asked

"Yeah" I muttered as I continued looking in the direction of the Cullen's, gritting my teeth while I was at it.

"Good, because it's time to get ready." I nodded and smiled at her as I was kind of excited to show the Cullen's how much little Bella Swan has grown up.