Hi, I hope you enjoy this story I've created in my head! Please feel free to privately message me or leave a review!
Also, I would recommend listening to the song ""iRobot" by Jon Bellion" while reading. It really sets the tone of this chapter.
Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha or any other characters. All characters are owned by the talented Rumiko Takahashi.
I stand looking in the mirror, mentally dreading going into work for another ridiculous day at my dad's office. Golden eyes stare back at me, judging me for acting so pathetic. A too tired face haunts me, a once attractive man turned bitter at the age of twenty eight. My, always, silver hair and demon ears mock me as it turns my tired look into something much worse. My father and half-brother, both with silver hair, must cringe as they walk around as charming youthful beings while I make it look abnormal.
I turn to the door, adjust my suit quickly, and stride forward out of my large home to the outdoors. A large property and expensive car hide behind a gated-in estate. I was very lucky to have grown up rich, earning this beautiful million dollar property through working at my dad's law firm. Though, I didn't have much choice in it. My half-brother and I were always supposed to take over the firm as partners, thus having to follow the career my father had always planned for us. I did take pride in the fact that I had bought my own home by earning it through winning cases and getting clients in only two years of practice.
I got into my car and drove the, all too familiar, route to the office in the city. Though the job wasn't what I wanted now, it once was. I was actually quite good at what I did, if I was being honest with myself. I had built a large client base thanks to my father's influence and competent, and trusted law firm. I had always wanted my father to be proud of me, hoping one day he could look at me as I am and not as he wished I had been.
That's where things kind of got messy. He would never look at me as I am because there was so much to be disappointed in. I was a half demon, a disgrace to the demon race and a reject to the human race, according to all the bullies I had faced through my years alive. You see, by the age of twelve, my mother had to home school me due to all the bullying I had endured. The teachers had insisted it was best for my health and well-being to be withdrawn from my verbal and physical abusers. I could hide and do well in school, but they would always find me, always.
I was quite talented in school, earning top marks, and entering university at the finest institution. I had once thought of joining another law firm to show my father how valuable I was but that was before the dread I felt inside.
I exited my car in the underground parking lot and walked to the elevator. Once the doors opened, I pressed the floor twenty button, and patiently waited as the elevator rose. I looked at the ground, avoiding the golden eyes disapproving gaze in the reflection of the elevator doors. The elevator doors opened and I stepped foot into an open area with a receptionist sitting behind a desk in the center of the room facing me. Plenty of seating was before her, to her left and right, with a small coffee table stocked with the latest magazines. Behind her, a hallway that turned right led to office doors, my office doors.
"Hello, Mr. Takahashi." I could feel her eyes watch me as I rounded her desk and went straight for my office door.
"Hi, Rin." I didn't look at her, I was too insulted by her constant staring.
I quickly closed the door behind me and sighed with relief. Was I always like this? The answer, simply put, is no. Despite my bullies, I was once filled with passion and desire to learn, to love, and to live, though I would admit it to no one. Growing up I had always believed that one day I would belong, that the world would grow to respect and love me, the way my mother had always shown me. This hope drove me to better myself and live with intention and purpose. Sure, I was always cautious with who I surrounded myself with but I thought I had control.
By my college years, I had become attractive, for a half-demon. Maybe women wanted to be with a half-breed, maybe they were generally interested, or maybe it was curiosity, but I had many opportunities to feel loved, or so I thought until I later learnt was to be used, but I only desired one person's love.
I had met her the day of my first scheduled class. I was walking to my class when I accidentally ran into her. We both fell to the ground. I remember looking at her, waiting for a repulsed reaction but nothing happened. Curious eyes looked into mine and I was absolutely hooked. Dark beautiful hair fell around her face, and warm dark brown eyes looked to mine as we lifted ourselves off the ground.
The place in which my heart rests felt cold as I thought about her again, Kikyo. You see, I once loved her dearly but I no longer feel love, or passion anymore, everything has turned grey. My heart stopped the day she abandoned our life together, and our love. Life felt dull now, I felt no emotion anymore, numb to pain and happiness, alike. I guess you could say I was basically a robot, just going through the days, expecting nothing but the emptiness that followed me.
How did I end up this way? I turned my chair to face the large window behind me, staring into the grey sky. The vision of our romance and tragedy unfold like a movie in the clouds.
The first four years were amazing with her. We had slowly gotten to know each other, she was hard to know. She was mysterious, something for me to figure out and I just happened to love a good mystery. She didn't like our love to be displayed but alone we connected, as connected as I had ever been with a woman. She was a tough girl, I think she didn't want to appear like a lovesick fool. She was always so impacted by others that it would have mentally wasted her knowing others would see her sensitive side. I loved her tough side, as well as the soft side behind closed door, she would only show me.
Once we graduated from that university, I had been accepted for another four year program to become a lawyer. We had decided to move in together in this new city, as we didn't want the distance to hurt our relationship. We had started to fight that first year I was at this new university, I always had thought it was because of the stress of moving and her taking a new job. After that first year at my new school, we had decided to go for counselling. She had thought that, if we really wanted it to work, we should fight for it. The biggest mistake I had ever made.
Images of the therapist filled my mind. His name was Naraku, with dark eyes and dark hair pulled back into a ponytail. He quickly became a problem, as opposed to a solution. I had eventually stopped going to see the therapist as my work load had quickly increased from school but Kikyo had insisted it was best for her to see him. Quickly, her attitude had changed from, what I had always known her to be, to a much darker soul.
She no longer was warm with me, like a sudden darkness had taken hold of her soul. Sex had become vengeful and forced. Often we would get into fights over something she had conjured up at the therapists meeting and attacked my being. I went from lover to enemy in a matter of weeks. She would often attack my weak spot, my half-breed blood. She would force me into having sex with her after these fights. She believe angry sex was the best sex. I couldn't look at her without feeling like being sick as I knew there wasn't any love left, just darkness and control over me.
I stayed with her for another two years after this. It was stupid but I wanted to believe she would revert to her former self, that this was all just stress. I had walked out a few times, only to be brought back with sweet promises of love and admiration. It was a sick game that I feared I would never be able to escape. The last year together she had started to become intimate with the therapist. I could smell him all over her, the scent used to make me lose my appetite. I had never addressed it with her, in fear that she would find a new angle to attack about my half-breed blood. She had quickly become my worst bully. The final wake up call, or rather the last time I allowed myself to feel, was the announcement that she had aborted our baby. Whether it was mine or the therapists was irrelevant, it was a life I had come to hope for. In all of the bad, a beautiful creature had been growing in her. She had announced her pregnancy at my parents' house, news to me at the time, in hopes that they would grow to like her again. They didn't know what I had been through but they did notice the change in who I was. It was night and day.
I had welcomed the news, even though I was in school, I would cherish this new gleam of hope and love. I was foolish thinking this child would bring us back to a place of love. Perhaps the baby would make us into the family I had always imagined for us. Unfortunately, one night we had begun another fight, thanks to the great therapist, about what our child would look like. How could a half-breed and human make a "beautiful" child? It would be ugly and unloved, something she would never accept. Her hateful words, words from a woman I had felt so much love for at one time, proved to me that the world would never accept me, a monster. She left that night and came home a week later announcing the termination of our child.
I had left, my heart was ripped from my chest. Had she ever loved me? I don't know. Was the child even mine? I don't know. What I do know, I will never be fooled again. Ever.
Next chapter we meet Kagome!
Thank you for reading! (:
xoxo E.
