„PLAY A VOLTA!"
Summary: Based rather on TV series.
Sorry, for now I had to erase some heroes which do not fit, for example Joffrey. Jon Arryn lives, Cersei and Jamie have a relationship, but rather toxic since Tommen and Mycella were born. Let's pretend, that these two kids are twins and twins "happens" in Lannister family. Jamie makes a decision and finds an unexpected help. Something suppose to be a revenge on Cersei becomes dangerous game with a naturalized bastard, Ramsey Bolton. I do not want to tell too much at the beginning. Generally, winter and war is coming, love and danger is in the air!
I do not own anything, fanfic is written for fun, blablabla.
I have a plan to write another Jamie-Sansa fanfic but it will take much more work. Please excuse me, if I won't be so intelligent and funny as our one and only Littlest Lord, whom I made one of narrators.
Constructive criticism is welcomed! Constructive!
What's in a name? That which we call a rose, by any other name would smell as sweet
"Romeo and Juliette"/
Dedication: For Catherina1996
Chapter I
Tyrions POV
Imagine, dear reader ... or not! Dear reader, have you ever visited Kings Landing, with all its beauty and stench, with splendor and temptation? The city has become a second home for my brother and me, but I have to admit - that rainy evening we wanted to be away from everything that we associate with the home, and close to everything that is devouring. For once it is not known which, convulsed by our father, Jamie for joining the White Guard, and I for the very fact of existence – we went to brothel.
Jamie did not visit the courtesans. First of all, as a knight of the White Guard, he was not supposed to do it officially, secondly, there were some rumors about him and our sister Cersei. Now, years later, I can write about it safer, but let me, dear listener, leave you with this intelligent understatement.
Jamie certainly could drink - whatever the vows White Guard and brothers from the Black Watch have made, both did not vow abstinence from liquors - and fortunately no one came up with that idea to this day! However, what Jamie could do officially, and how it affected his stomach, were completely different things. When Jamie, without knocking, opened the door to the room in which I was and, slightly tipsy, he called he's coming back to the castle, I only sighed with relief, responded, that I understood and advised him to take care of himself.
About half an hour later, or the fourth part of the time contracted with my companion, a tumult arose at the bottom of the shrine of bliss. At first we did not pay attention to it. After another half I heard something.
- Tyrion! Tyrioonnn! TYRION! -TY ...! Oh, here you are!
- I am, but will you, brother, ever learn to use the DOOR IN BROTHEL! - I said a bit annoyed this time. My companion did not bother to cover herself, but she sat down in a more modest pose.
- Tyrion, we're leaving! We're going tto… HEP! - Jamie Lannister, the best of the White Guard swordsmen, hiccuped. I was seriously worried, because I could not remember seeing him that drunk ever, neither before nor after. My golden-haired brother staggered for a moment, finally took up the thread. - What was I talkin' about? ... Oh, YES! – he smiled like a madman - We're going to pay respects to Lord and Lady Stark!
- And what's the occasion, brother? - I asked amused, not taking it seriously.
- Well ... you, my beloved brother, have to come up with an occasional excuse, but I'm going to ... hep! ... court Sansa Stark! B-but this is ... hep! Of course, the secret! - after which Jamie slammed the door and started down the stairs, loudly demanding wine.
If my father, Tywin Lannister, stood in front of me and confessed that he regrets all the offenses and loves me with a true fatherly love, I would not be more surprised. Actually, I would be angry, but that's not the point. If Jamie provokes a drunken scandal, and somehow it will reach Lord Stark's ears and North at all, I would not like to be in Jamie's skin, or even my own. A vision of the bloodthirsty Stark troops knock on the doors of Red Keep or Casterly Rock spoiled the rest of my mood. I sighed heavily.
- My dear, sweet Sue, I think I have to take care of my brother.
- I could send someone ... - the girl purred, she did not want to lose a wealthy and polite client.
- I am afraid, my sweet, that in this state he would be able to say such foolishness that the whole private father's chest will not be enough to close the mouths of the girls, servants and janitors, and the fault will fall partly on me. Meanwhile ... - I reached for the coat - ... take this and tell no one. Understand? - I added seriously. - If you put a word to anyone… - and any of that drunken gibberish turns out to be serious decision, I though, save us, gently Mother!
The young whore had judged the chances, if Littlefinger questions her and had summoned her life experience to imagine what Lord Lannister would do to her if a rumor arose - even so insignificant that drunken Jamie had announced that he wanted to marry, and to marry this particular maiden. She grabbed the cover.
- If so, we'd better hurry up. I will pretend to be dissatisfied, and you will just pay for the time you spend with me ... I hope you understand ... - she lowered her eyes slightly and hided a pouch.
- Sweet, it did not even occur to me to take back that tiny amount, and I'm going to settle everything that's needed with Littlefinger. Let's do as you say.
We came downstairs. At the bottom of my mind I thanked the Stranger - Jamie was vomiting like a cat, unable to extract any articulated sound, and the janitors were looking at him rather helplessly. Petyr Baelish, called Littlefinger, came to the hall. A glance was enough to assess the situation.
- So what are you looking at, bring the second bucket! And call someone to clean up.
- Do what Lord Lannister tells you! Get moving. - Littlefinger was calm, he did not allow himself a plebeian outburst of anger. - Ser Tyrion, forgive my people, they do not get used to taking care of an unwell nobleman of this rank.
I laughed.
- Firstly, at least they called you, secondly it happens that my brother is ... indisposed, I cannot remember him in this state, so thank you for being tactful. I wonder what led him to this state.
- I do not know either, he burst in ... I mean, ser Jamie's came into my quarters when I hosted ser Tyrion and mumbled things without connection, the whole mood was gone, and everything would be on me. Excuse me, ser Petyr, but the fault is always on the side of the girl ...
- Do not worry, my sweet, for such matters, I'll arrange everything with ... – I started to talk.
- Tsss ... Tyrion ... - whatever Jamie wanted to say, drowned in the last torsion.
- He will live! - I said with irony - Ser Petyr, would you be so kind and make somebody to bring a bill and ... make someone call a litter.
- No! - Jamie covered his mouth with his hand. - Just not a horse or a litter! I can handle it!
Of course, he could not do it, so the invaluable Littlefinger conjured a henchman, a big like an ox and just as stupid as a big one. He alternately held up and carried Jamie. Before this man came, it was clear that the very agitated Jamie had come to the brothel in a gallop and demanded two flasks of strong booze. He drank it quickly, and when the servant maid expressed concern for his health, he blamed her so insultingly and aggressively that, even considering the shrine we were in, the girl felt offended. I rewarded her tears with a good word and a silver dragon, honest, not cut off. Lannisters always pay their debts. Always. Our father can be a tyran for his family, but I hardly remember a situation, when he insulted a servant or didn't pay somebody, even when he release servants from service. This is one of a very few advantages of Old Lions character.
Two hours and four puke stops later we stood at the gates of the Keep - although maybe "stood" was too strong word in the case of Jamie, who hung on our accidental helper. A gave this boy a coin, wave off his bows and thanks and waited till he disappeared in the darkness.
- Jamie, is that a good idea to show yourself ...
- I asked for release from service today.
He did WHAT?! Dear reader, can you imagine, my dismay? My brother, after all these fights and quarrels with father, left the Kingsguard?!
- What have you done? Are you really THAT drunk?
- I asked to be released from service. Take me to the room.
It was dawn when ice water was poured into a bath and a special flask was brought from my room and the cook was awakened to brew a light broth, and the servants went to their usual occupations.
Jamie spoke first, leaning at my secret hangover cordial with distaste. He spoke like a man who no longer cares for own fate.
- Tyrion, do not pretend you do not know about Cersei and me. Everybody knows, or in any case, everyone in Kings Landing suspects, except for my father and Arryn, though he also starts to look strange at children and avoids me. And besides ... – he Anyway, today I found her in bed with another man.
I was silent for a long moment and evened my breath. Not only a malicious schemer, but to the detriment of ill beauty and stupid. And the worst is that it is beautiful. Our sister. There was no point in denying it. I did not want to ask who it was. I will find out sooner or later. Besides, necessity to answer, to articulate the name, would hurt Jamie. One question, however, I had to ask.
- Has His Majesty consented?
Jamie winced.
- Very willingly. Father will be delighted. For once.
- Jamie, you're still drunk.
- I was not when I was talking to the king. And believe me, I got sick quickly, when ... - he almost sobbed - I wanted to kill him. And then I realized that I should kill her ... then I thought about the children and ... Somehow in an angry amok I found our noble and understanding monarch and I said that I could no longer remain in the royal guard. He wants so much to please our father that he did not even ask why. He just told me to leave somewhere for some time and think it over well, but whatever I decide, I have his consent.
- Maybe it's some misunderstanding?
- And you still defend her?! You're a good brother, but thank you. I have been drinking like an animal, and it did not help. I have to go to sleep. Be so kind and send to your father a word that I want to see him around noon. Will you come with me, huh? - he suddenly asked in the tone of a little boy who was once afraid of being spanked.
- If I refuse, it will get you away from the idea ...
- No. – Jamie pulled through his teeth.
- And you promise me that although you will consider other candidates?
- I will consider. Reluctantly. Father will not agree to anybody, and I want my wife living as far away of Kings Landing as possible.
Then I realized that my wonderful, golden-haired brother finally begins to think. Well, I'd prefere him to take a whore rather than a wife, especially a naïve Northern maid. I felt chills at the thought of the fate that poor, young Sansa Stark might face, not because of Jamie, but Cersei.
- I will help you in everything, as always. – and I make sure you won't take a wife only to make Cersei angry…
- Thank you brother.
Before I left, he felt asleep.
