Inspired by Facebook, small headcanon, and many stories, this came. It's just a small drabble that I had the sudden inspiration to do.
Disclaimer: What's this? My dad got me Hetalia as a late Christmas present? No? Ok, I guess I don't own Hetalia.
For some reason, America woke up feeling very accomplished. As he walked into the conference room with all the nations, he couldn't help but feel a little bit like both a player and a whore. Most people think that America's ego is too big to let him be on the bottom. Oh how wrong those people are.
As he walks to his seat, he sees his favorite person, England. The times he's shared with him! He was the most frequent fuck buddy. It's true that they take turns, but America has to say that his most memorable times with England were when America was getting rammed into or tied up or even dressing up. Luckily he was the only one who knew about England's suit kink, just as England was the only one to know about America's love of kilts.
The next person America sees as he waits for the meeting to start is France, who is of course instigating another argument with England. Whenever America wanted some heartfelt lovin' and England wasn't available, France was always ready and willing. Sure the long foreplay was torture, but the Frenchman always knew what he was doing. The first time America was with France, he was surprised by two things. One, that France was almost a chubby-chaser. Two, how big his dick was (1). He had never seen one that big, not even in his own country.
Somehow, America is able to see a small shadow next to the fight between England and France. No wait, that's just his older brother, Canada. Most people would believe that because of his timid and shy nature, Canada would never muster up the courage to top. But these people forget that Canada puts his French genes to good use. When America actually does remember the nation, he is instantly reminded of the times when geography proves true (2).
Beside the Canadian is America's so called arch-nemesis, Russia. Russia was always rough with him, which America loved. He could only think of a few times when he was actually on top, one being when Russia had somehow shrunk back into a teenager. Honestly when it came to Russia, he could only think of two clichés: "Hate sex is great sex" and "The Cold War was anything but".
Oh wow, the meeting started. Of course the person starting the meeting is Germany. America thinks back to the one time when Germany lost all control, which conveniently was the same time that America was a POW.
As Germany drones on, America sees Prussia sneaking into the meeting. His best friend and drinking buddy, Prussia. Those drunken nights that he barely had memory of and could sometimes only remember them by the videos they took were, as the ex-nation would say himself, awesome.
The meeting continued on, but America couldn't focus as he was lost in the memories of his sexual adventures.
Austria and his baton.
Spain, who proved to be the best lover (3).
Denmark the Viking.
Hungary and Belarus, who showed him that women were capable of topping men.
North and South Italy, who weren't as innocent as everyone believed.
Even Japan, who had many kinks that America was never too afraid to experiment with.
As the meeting came to an end, America realizes that he hadn't paid attention at all. He was too caught up in memories of awesome sex, which actually kind of made him a little horny. He sees Lithuania walking out the door. Maybe if he catches up, he'd be able to spend some time with him. Just to get notes, of course…
1. France has the second largest dick size in Europe, the first being Hungary.
2. Geographically, Canada is on top of America(I'm not sure whether I needed to clarify this or not...)
3. Based on a survey, Spain is considered the best lover.
