Little known fact: Amy Santiago hated mornings.
When Amy Santiago always got to work early and was already running smoothly the moment she stepped into the bullpen everyone assumed it was because she loved mornings.
Amy Santiago always wakes up early. And she is so not a morning person.
It's after they start dating that Jake finds out this secret about her. After they start sleeping together and in turn waking up together is when he makes this discovery and finds out how wrong the assumption that his partner is a morning person was.
It was a couple weeks after they started dating that she completely gave up the charade since it didn't take long for them to get into the habit of spending every night together, and she just couldn't keep up the pretense that she was actually on good terms with mornings that long in.
She had long since given up trying to keep up appearances that she was cheery when the alarm clock went off in the morning.
Their work day started at 9:00 AM, and every day her alarm went off at 6:00 AM. She set her alarm early because of how much she hated mornings. She knew herself. She always stayed in bed an hour past her alarm going off, so she actually got out of bed at 7:00 every morning. But she knew if she set her alarm for 7:00 she wouldn't get out of bed until 8:00, so this routine was based on necessity. While Amy hated mornings, she would just about die if she was ever late. She had to be out of bed by 7:00 because even after two cups of coffee she was always a major grouch until she had been awake about an hour. Every morning her alarm went off at 6:00, she rolled out of bed at 7:00, and she was a villain with murder in her eyes and hate in her heart til 8:00. She always arrived at work at 8:45 with all her pep so everyone assumed that she loved mornings. She went through great lengths to keep up that persona. Her overwhelming desire to make a positive impression on anyone she might run into that day was her only motivation for the torture she put herself through on a daily basis, but Amy Santiago was nothing if not determined.
Before he found this out about her he would have assumed that she would end up being the one dragging him out of bed before work in the mornings, but that was so very wrong.
While Jake liked sleeping in and hated getting up any earlier than absolutely necessary, he was never in a bad mood. He was just tired. Jake wasn't a grumpy morning person, just a tired one. Amy on the other hand was such a grouch. A crotchety curmudgeon each and every morning. It was impossible for her to wake up in a good mood. But after a year of dating Jake had perfected his Santiago wake up techniques to get the least grumpy Amy he could – though it wasn't a perfect system. He tried his best, and that was really all anyone could ask of him.
"No!" She shouted, face buried in the pillow as she tried her best to put all of her body weight on the blanket she had wrapped around her that Jake was trying to tug off.
"Amy-get up," he gritted, planting his feet on the floor and using his body weight as leverage and tightened his grip on the covers. "You're an adult. We have to go to work. Adult responsibilities. Crime never sleeps," he tried to appeal to her sensibilities since his relentless tugging was doing absolutely nothing.
"No. Lemme sleep. I need it. No more, Jake. Don't do this to me. Gimme back my blanket!" She turned over and yanked it from his grip before pulling it over her eyes.
She wasn't usually this bad. She's usually super grumpy, but he doesn't usually have to try this hard to get her out of bed, especially not on a work day.
For whatever reason last night she just couldn't fall asleep and was tossing and turning for hours. He wasn't sure how much sleep she ended up getting, but guessing by the amount of times he woke up because she was flopping so much trying to find a comfortable position it wasn't a lot.
It was 7:00 by the time they started this tug of war, but the lack of sleep and all around miserable night she had before made her even more reluctant to get up than usual. More confrontational too.
He already tried the sweet wake up that morning. The one where he kissed all over her face. Most mornings that worked and she'd drift awake with a smile until her grumpiness set in when her brain actually started booting up. Safe to say blanket tugging didn't work either.
Desperate times called for desperate measures.
Amy could hear his foot steps leaving their room so she relaxed back into the pillow, wrapping the covers around her and burrowing back into the bed to find a comfy sleep position.
All too soon she heard him padding back into their room and she groaned.
Why couldn't he just leave her be? She hadn't even been absent from class all year. Absent from work. Perfect attendance. All she wanted was a little sleep. She could be tardy just once, couldn't she? She had earned that by now.
"Alright Santiago, this is your last chance," Jake warned, and she just scrunched her eyes closed tighter like it would help block out his voice.
"Shut up. Go away. 'm sleeping now. G'bother someone who deserves it. Lemme alone. I'm asleep," she grumbled.
"Just know this is because I love you," he said before dumping a glass of cold water on her head.
Amy shot up with a scream when it hit her. It wasn't just cold water. He put freaking ice cubes in it! He dumped cold water on her head with ice that wasn't even crushed! Whole ice cubes!
Jake had already taken a few preemptive steps back when she shot up with wet hair and the top of her shirt soaked in freezing water. From her snarl and murder eyes it was already clear this wasn't gonna end well for him.
"I'm gonna kill you!"
"Looks like you'll have to get out of bed to try that then," he shrugged with a grin
Amy lunged for him, but he dodged and ran out of their room rabbit quick on his feet while her limbs were still heavy with sleep. They had a bit of cat and mouse after she chased him into the kitchen and he hid on the other side of the island, but he was already too energetic and Amy was too tired and pissed off to play games with him so she let him go with a snarl. She had breakfast and got ready for work, glaring and growling at him if he got too close.
"What do you have to say?" He asked sing song on the drive to work, the complete and annoying opposite of subtle as he hinted at a thank you.
"You're the worst. I hate you so much right now."
"Aw, I love you too, babe!" Jake smiled all cheery and she just wanted to punch the self satisfied smile off his face. Of course she never would, but that didn't stop her from wanting to.
It was two hours into their work day that she was up to normal Amy Santiago speed and pep-ness. They tried not to be all PDA-y at work, but some things still slipped through the cracks. They had lapses from time to time, but they tried to keep them down till they were at least semi-alone.
Jake filling up his coffee mug in the break room fit the bill for semi-alone, so when she walked up behind him she didn't hesitate wrapping her arms around his waist and kissing the back of his neck.
"Sorry about the death threats this morning."
She reached beside him to grab her own mug out of the cupboard before moving to the fridge for creamer, passing it off to him as they traded places so she could fill up her empty mug with life saving caffeine. She poured what was left in the pot into her mug and brought it up to her nose to just take in the heavenly coffee smell.
"Why do I have the feeling this isn't anywhere close to the last time I hear this apology from you?" He laughed.
"Probably cause you're smarter than you look," she teased as she grabbed the creamer and poured just the right amount to take her coffee from the bold dark brown to the deep caramel shade that meant it was just to her liking.
Jake took a quick look around to make sure no one was walking by the break room door before stepping closer and giving her a sweet and altogether too short kiss. They were at work after all.
After work Amy got exceptionally kissy faced all over him, clearly still feeling bad about how her not-a-morning-person was taking to a whole new level that day. Jake tried to tell her that she didn't have to keep apologizing to him for being the best boyfriend in the world, but it wasn't like he was gonna turn down his face getting super kissed by Amy Santiago for any reason.
"What would I do without you?" She asked, a smirk tugging at the corner of her mouth before she kissed his forehead. She pushed him down to a seated position on the couch almost first thing when they got home, followed by her essentially getting on his lap, knees on either side of his legs to bracket him in and keep him trapped. She did this pretty much every time she wanted to kiss all up over his face since their height difference always had her at a disadvantage in kissy face scenarios. He'd have to seriously crane his neck down for her to have a chance of kissing his forehead when they were standing. So when Amy wanted to do the sweet and funny kissing all over him except his lips until they were both laughing, this is what she did.
"You'd be late, that's what," Jake chuckled with a tap to her nose. And because he couldn't resist getting in a little bit of his own kissy face in the mix he wrapped his hand around the back of her neck with a soft pull of encouragement as he leaned in closer to kiss her nose. Then he kissed her chin. Then her forehead. Back to her nose. Lastly he placed a soft kiss to her lips, unable to keep the smile off his face when he pulled back. He could tell Amy was trying to hamper down a smile of her own like she always did when he did something saptastic she and didn't want to admit defeat that she thought he was overwhelmingly cute by smiling as wide as she wanted to. But it never worked. It wasn't working now. She shook her head with a lighthearted exasperation at his ridiculousness and a very wide smile.
"And my mornings would be so much worse without you kissing me awake. You're my saving morning grace. Even when I might be making threats against my saving grace's life after he dumps cold water on my head," Amy laughed and flopped down beside him. She was giving him that affectionate look that always made his lungs feel all warm and fuzzy as she mindlessly stroked his hair and continued her sentiment. "My mornings are always better with you in them. Whole higher level of mood than all the times I've woken up in my life without you."
"I find it hard to believe you could be worse than you are now in the mornings."
He was pretty sure she was exaggerating cause she still felt bad about the threats from that morning and was trying to make up for it. He was 99% sure this was her going for flattery and sweet talking and he actually didn't make as much of a difference as she made it sound, because he really couldn't believe that all the cranky Santiago mornings he's beared witness to were actually an improvement from the past.
"Jake, you know nothing of how awful I used to be in the morning before you," Amy patted him on the knee in a weirdly patronizing manner and an uncalled for condescension in her tone, like she thought he was just adorable for being so naive as to doubt she could be any worse. "You have no idea. Whether I was single or dating someone, I was always a verifiable monster. Now I'm more of Oscar the Grouch Sesame Street monster, but I used to be Nightmare on Elm Street monster when I woke up every single morning. Even if I was dating someone at the time who tried to wake me up nicely with kisses I still was a murder monster every morning. So it's not just a nice wake up with sweet kisses that does it cause that's never made a difference before I woke up next to you every morning. There's something special about Jake Peralta's kisses. I think you might have a super power. My saving morning grace right here."
"Is it weird that I found that super romantic?" Jake asked, completely serious. "In like the really cheesy way? Not just the kissing part, but the whole thing. I think your Sesame Street horror movie monster metaphor that I stop you from hulking out into might be the sweetest thing you've ever said to me."
"You ever wonder why I have three alarm clocks, Jake? If I was worried about the power going out all I would need would be one with battery back up. So do you know why I have three battery back up alarm clocks set to go off every morning?"
Jake just shrugged cause he didn't have an answer. He never really thought about it before. He more or less just wrote it off as Amy being overkill as usual. But clearly from her line of questioning she actually did have a reason for it.
"It was a while before we met, before I made detective. Still a beat cop at my first precinct, so a good two years before I got partnered up with this adorable face," Amy pinched his cheek with some doting grandma level of super strength cheek pinching and Jake swiped her hand away as quick as he could.
"You're so gross."
Amy just shrugged with a smirk, and thank goodness gave up on trying to tease him with disgustingly lame gestures and gag worthy pinch cheeking just to embarrass him.
"Anyway," she started again after his interruption that was caused by her. "The three alarm clocks are the result of the only day of work I've ever missed without giving advance notice or at least calling in sick the morning of. I only had one alarm clock. It was still a battery back up kind, but just one instead of the three I have now. I don't remember what happened the night before to make it so much harder than it usually is to get up, but safe to say it was pretty bad based on what I did the next morning. My alarm went of at 6:00 and saying I was pissed off is way more accurate than saying I was grumpy when it started blaring and woke me up. I pressed snooze twice, and the third time I tried to press it the button did nothing and it kept blaring. I keep hitting the snooze button as hard as possible but it just keep on going."
"So what? Did you just turn it off? You have three alarms cause one day you hit the off button and were late for work? I am going to be so disappointed if that's how it ends. That's so mean, Amy. I thought you actually had a good story."
That seemed like the only logical way the story could end, even though she built it up way too high for that. It would be the biggest let down in history regarding a conversation about alarm clocks with all the suspense she jam packed in there.
"No, I didn't turn it off," she rolled her eyes. "Just be patient and let me finish. So the snooze button wasn't working and it just wouldn't shut up. The off switch was small and on the back so people like me wouldn't just press a big ol' button with our eyes closed and regret it hours later. You really had to dig your fingernail in to move the tiny switch to off, and it was almost impossible to do when you were still half asleep. So snooze wasn't working, I didn't have a chance of turning it off even if I tried, and unplugging it would do nothing since it had the battery back up. So I… I threw it at the wall."
At first Jake didn't react, when Amy expected him to laugh or say some sort of joke or sarcastic comment. But slowly his eyes lit up as the whole scene played out in his head.
He had to admit this was a more than satisfying ending to all her build up. It was a hilarious ending to all her build up.
Amy Santiago missed work because she wanted to sleep in so she threw her alarm clock at the wall. He knew it wasn't the greatest thing he's ever heard, but it was pretty damn high up there. She threw it at the wall. Ms. Perfect attendance who still brought back doctor's notes to the Captain after sick days even though she's an adult and sick days still count as sick days with or without a note was the same Amy Santiago who missed a whole day of work cause she was tired and broke her alarm clock with a wall. With a wall.
He tried to hold in his laughter as long as possible, but it was only a few moments before the first giggle broke out. Then the next. Then the next. The giggles turned into laughter which turned into straight up guffawing in less than 30 seconds.
That was the best damn alarm clock story he'd ever heard. Even though it might have been the only one he'd ever heard, really. He tried to hold back his laughter a little bit for her sake and for his future sake if she got offended by how hard he was laughing, but he couldn't help it. He was laughing so hard his eyes were starting to water and he couldn't even see if she was getting offended cause of the whole teary eye bit.
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm not trying to laugh, I swear," Jake apologized, still laughing. "That's just the most hilarious thing I've ever heard."
He tried covering his mouth with his hand to hide and muffle the wheezy chuckles he still couldn't rein in, but it was no good.
"It was pretty bad," she conceded with a smile of her own. "I woke up at 3 PM with broken clock pieces scattered on the floor by the wall. It wasn't a clean break. I had to sweep it all up because the display screen completely shattered into tiny shards, and even the hard plastic part you'd expect to be able to survive a wall ended up as jagged pieces of plastic on the floor," Amy shook her head at the bad memory. She was starting to feel stressed just thinking about that awful incident.
Jake swiped at the hair falling on the side of her face and kissed her temple and she remembered all the reasons she never had to worry about that nightmare happening again. Yes, now she had three alarm clocks (that she's technically had for years since she bought them immediately after the incident). But she also had Jake who helped her not worry about much more than alarm clock failures. He helped her stay calm when she was feeling anxious, and when she couldn't stop worrying about something he was always right there next to her easing the tightness in her chest just from his presence. When she absolutely couldn't stop worrying about something, he at least made her feel better while she was worrying instead of her worrying so much she felt like she was going to have a heart attack.
There were some things that were impossible for her to not worry about. Like performance reviews or family reunions that meant she would soon be seeing her incredibly critical distant relatives that she was never able to please. She would worry about those things regardless. And during those times Jake would be holding her and stroking her hair, telling her that he was there for her and that he loved her.
She still worried those times, but he made worrying almost pleasant. Instead of her worry being anxious and panicked, her worry was spent with coming up with solutions to at least lighten the load. It wasn't just that he made her worry bearable instead of her going into shut down. He made her worry productive. She could plan while worried when she knew she was safe and loved in his arms. He never let her forget that.
"Yup, that's the reason I have three. In case I decide to get all throw-y again when I'm too tired and too angry to think of the consequences of broken alarm clocks. And it's a million times easier to not get throw-y when I have your sweet face kissing me awake in the morning."
"I'm just glad miss grumpy face doesn't get all shooty in the morning," Jake elbowed her in the arm
"You better not pull that ice cube move again, though," Amy warned him with a sudden and deadly seriousness.
"I'll try my best not to. But just remember: desperate times call for desperate measures. And I'm not afraid to get desperate if you give me the time. Ice cubes are a desperate measure, Ames. I hope I never have to use them again," Jake grinned, enjoying the whole thing far too much. "I do what I do because I care. And cause I love you no matter how grouchy you get in the mornings."
She was tempted to roll her eyes when he ruffled her hair like a little kid, but she didn't. She did something other than rolling her eyes at her lovable and occasionally annoying but mostly amazing saving morning grace.
"I love you too."
AN: Thank you for patience regarding my updates due to life being hectic at the moment. I very much appreciate it.
Hope you all have a great day!
