No Turning Back


Aurielle Cousland heard footsteps behind her, but rather than rising to greet whoever it was that approached, as would have been proper, she remained seated on the log of wood she had chosen as an uncomfortable bench. She'd always been proper - not fastidious, mind, just appropriate - and where had it gotten her? Here, that was where.

The log jostled a bit as a new weight was added. In her peripheral vision, Aurielle could see a glimmer of metal and the close-cropped hair of Alistair, the Warden who'd been her guide around camp.

He let out a sigh. "I think they're waiting for you."

"Are they? Let them wait, then." She wished she had a stein of ale. Taking a big, hearty swig would have been a great way to punctuate that. A gesture as sullen as she felt. However, she didn't have a stein of ale. A scowl would have to suffice, and so she glared at the laces on her boots.

Alistair turned toward her. "My lady, Ser Duncan only did what he had to do."

That earned him her full attention, as well as the full force of that glare. "He butchered Ser Jory! And no, he didn't have to do that. If he'd just given me the cup next, and let Jory see that I survived, then maybe he wouldn't have drawn his sword. I tried to tell him, but he wouldn't listen!" She glared at Alistair even more fiercely. "Men never listen."

With another sigh, he looked away, unable to hold her gaze. "Maybe it has to go according to the order you agreed to Join," he said slowly. "I don't know. But what I do know is that Duncan is an honorable man - a good man. And he wouldn't cause harm where he could avoid it."

Aurielle looked at her boots again. "And what of Daveth?" She shook her head. "Granted, he was something of an ass, but that doesn't mean he deserved to die like that… those spasms… the way he gasped and choked…" A shudder ran through her. "No one deserves that. And you say it happens often?"

He nodded, though at first he didn't say anything. "There was only one who didn't make it in my cohort."

She could feel the tension in her jaw from the force of her anger. "And he said he'd told them that there was no turning back once they'd agreed to Join, but the thing is, I didn't exactly have a choice. And from what they said, Daveth and Jory were conscripted. How is that fair?"

Alistair tilted his head to the side, lifting his shoulders. "Is it so very different from being conscripted into the army, though? The manner of the death may be different, but in the end… the result is the same. But without someone to take that stand, the forces of darkness would overwhelm our land."

Lifting her head, Aurielle looked at him in scorn. "The forces of darkness? Have you been reading penny dreadfuls? Besides, it wasn't the forces of darkness that overran my father's manor and slaughtered everyone in it; it was the army of Arl Howe. So maybe we'd be safer without armies or militias or Grey Wardens."

"Maybe." His brows pulled together as he pondered that, before he looked at her again. "Do you believe that?"

She clenched her teeth even harder, wishing that she could truly believe what she'd claimed. But if she was honest… "No," she finally admitted under her breath. "Not after fighting those - things - in the forest. They were so unnatural. Not driven by purpose, like humans, nor by instinct, like animals. They just… they were just looking for something to kill."

The log wobbled as he stood. "It's those things, and things like them, that we fight against. It isn't easy being a Grey Warden, but what we do makes a difference. And for me… well, that makes it worth it." He paused, then added, "Maker watch over you, my lady."

The sound of his footsteps faded, and Aurielle let out a long, heavy sigh. She pushed herself upright, and headed toward the king's tent.


Author's Note: I know I'm coming in late to the fandom, but Aurielle really caught my interest. She's quite young, and she's still kind of awkward and gangly (I wish I could have had the option in character creation to adjust her body as much as I got to adjust her face). She's hopeful but practical rather than idealistic. She's kind and tries to do the right thing, but she's not remotely a crusader.

It was really frustrating to have to go through the Joining cutscene passively. It's hard to imagine Aurielle just letting it happen and saying nothing! And since then there's been no mention of Jory's wife or kids... seems kind of cold to just leave them hanging.

But I have loved the companion banter between Morrigan and Alistair!