I've been too serious, and now I need a bit of fun. I don't write slash, and this is not actually slash, but I wanted to use MW's comment about their being sexual tension between DiNozzo and Gibbs, and his joke about how, instead of Tiva, they should make Gibbs bi-curious.

Rated M for 1 particularly lurid line!

A Man Knows

The latest victim told them that the attacker was a white man of around 25 who smelled of sweat, liniment and horses. She had been raped in the early evening not far from the equestrian fields near the naval base. Two navy teams had competed in a polo game shortly before the attack and Gibbs' gut told him that their perp had been involved in the game. Rather than showing their hand by bringing both teams in for questioning, they decided to run an undercover op.

Within a few days DiNozzo had himself taken on as a rookie player. Soon he was training during the day and swapping stories over beers with the guys in the evenings. Slowly the list of suspects narrowed.

One afternoon DiNozzo came into the office after a training session, his face flushed, shirt sweat-marked, jodhpurs and boots covered in mud. He dropped his bag behind his desk and collapsed into the chair with a groan. Ziva looked at him, her eyebrows raised.

"Well?" she asked.

"Well what?" he retorted wearily.

"Did you find out anything new today?" Ziva asked in exasperation.

"Yeah," he confessed, running a hand through his hair. "I hate horses."

She looked at him again. "What else?" she demanded.

"Channing is off the list," he said shortly.

"Why?"

"Because he is."

"Why?" she insisted.

He stood, and lifted his bag onto the desk and began rummaging in it.

Now McGee stopped typing and looked at him as well.

"Tony?" he asked.

"Channing is gay," he responded without looking up.

Ziva and McGee exchanged a look.

"Why do you say that?" Ziva asked.

Tony kept rummaging.

"Tony?" she pressed.

Finally he raised his head. "Because he hit on me," he admitted finally.

She snorted. "You think everyone is hitting on you."

His glared at her and then turned and caught the smirk on McGee's face. "Face it, Tony," the probie confirmed, "you do."

"I am a trained investigator," DiNozzo protested, extracting his work shoes from his bag and slamming them onto his desk. "I know when I am being hit on."

"Sure Tony," McGee snickered.

Gibbs walked in to the bullpen, coffee in hand.

"DiNozzo, report," he ordered.

DiNozzo looked at the other two agents. "I haven't been able to alibi Wyman and French yet," he stated. "But Channing is off the list."

"Why?"

DiNozzo sighed. "Because he's gay."

Gibbs leaned back against the edge of his desk. He saw Ziva and McGee exchange amused looks and his brow furrowed.

"Tony thinks Channing hit on him," Ziva reported smugly.

Gibbs looked back at DiNozzo, eyebrows raised. He knew his senior agent was tired. He had been leading a double life for weeks now, maintaining a false identity and trying to work a caseload at the same time.

"You sure about that?" Gibbs asked quietly, sipping his coffee.

"Yeah Boss, I am," the agent replied wearily.

"Ziva and McGee don't agree." Gibbs was testing, not teasing.

"No kidding, Boss," DiNozzo threw the bag back on the floor. "Maybe they're right. Maybe I am imagining it. I mean he didn't come out and say "I'm gay", but using my superior investigative skills, I deduced it from his actions".

"You couldn't be wrong, DiNozzo?"

Tony turned and looked at Gibbs. After a second's thought, his posture changed. His eyelids dropped a little, his head tilted slightly to the side and he ran his tongue slowly across is bottom lip. Then he walked slowly across the bullpen, stopping inches from Gibbs. The team leader straightened up from his desk and the two men stood, their faces almost touching.

DiNozzo hooked a thumb into his waistband of his skin tight, off white jodhpurs. Shifting his weight and cocking his hip, he tugged the waistband down slightly, exposing an elongated triangle of skin around his middle.

"Well, Boss," DiNozzo breathed, his gaze locked with his Gibbs', "I think the big clue was when he pushed me up against the wall, stuck his hand down my pants and offered to suck my cock till my nose bled."

All the air was drawn out of the room. Ziva and McGee were motionless, their eyes wide and fixed on their lead and senior agents. Gibbs met DiNozzo's gaze and one corner of his mouth gave an almost imperceptible twitch.

"You take him up on the offer, Tony?" he asked quietly.

Tony paused, and tilted his head. "I thought about it, Boss," he murmured, dragging his eyes like fingers up and down the other man's body. "After all," he leaned slightly closer, "you know what they say."

"What do they say, DiNozzo?" Gibbs' voice was a velvet growl.

"They say men give the best blow jobs."

"They say that, do they DiNozzo?" Now Gibbs seemed to be leaning towards his senior field agent. "Why is that, do you think?"

"Well Boss," Tony leaned even closer, as if whispering a secret, "a man knows what a man likes."

The air seemed to coalesce around them. Ziva and McGee were barely there, circling in some distant orbit.

Finally Tony leaned back a little and smiled. "But no, Boss, I didn't take him up on it." He sounded almost regretful. "I'm a professional and I had work to do."

Gibbs sat back down against his desk and raised the coffee to his lips.

DiNozzo turned and walked - his ordinary, loose limbed walk - back to his desk. McGee and Ziva both let out breaths they had not known they were holding and flicked glances between the two men. Gibbs' eyes never left DiNozzo's back.

As he reached his desk DiNozzo bent from the waist to pick up his bag. His jodhpurs tightened over his buttocks and he seemed to linger a moment longer than necessary. Gibbs looked at him over the rim and took another slow sip. He lowered the cup and licked the foam from his lips.

DiNozzo picked up his bag threw it over his shoulder. He turned to head for the shower, but then paused. Glancing back over his shoulder he gave a slow, lingering smile at his team leader and batted his eyes. "And anyway" he purred, "he wasn't my type."