The Dream

He stood across from me, face hard and unloving. The fire that usually blazed in his golden eyes whenever he was with me had somehow frozen solid.

"Bella, I don't want you to come with me."

My body froze, trying to reject the pain while I absorbed his words. His cold, hard face showed no sign of indecision or regret, making the blow of his sentence hit painfully harder. My subconscious collected the quick twinge of torture that flashed in his eyes for about a millisecond before disappearing back into the frozen topaz, but the greater part of my brain was trying to understand where he was coming from.

Confused, I tried out the first answer that seemed logical, but burned in my throat on the way out: "You…don't…want me?"

"No."

His eyes were unapologetic. I couldn't find a trace of pain or warmth for me as I searched them desperately.

Tears stung sharply in my eyes. What he was saying couldn't be true, no…no, it couldn't be! After all we've been through, every kiss we've shared, every night we'd spent together—where was this coming from? What happened with Jasper really was nothing! Why couldn't he see that?

Somewhere during my fretting, I realized I was gasping for air. My chest felt like a huge hole, a gash, punctured it.

Edward's eyebrows pulled together. His expression was unreadable, and it made the gash in my heart rip itself wider.

He carefully composed his features. He slowly reached his hand, grasping it gently, behind my neck. Edward pressed his icy, hard lips to my forehead. I shivered as I always did at his touch, but for a different reason this time—I realized that these were the touches of denial, surrender, and goodbyes. I leaned in slightly, trying to absorb as much as I could of his last touches.

"Goodbye, Bella," Edward whispered. It looked as if he'd have tears in his eyes, too, if such a thing were possible for a vampire.

"Wait!" My voice came out in a choked whisper.

Edward's did, too. "Take care of yourself."

And then he was gone.

That was when reality hit me—hard. The force of the impact of it was so great it sent the sobs locked up inside me free and my body crumpled to the ground. The endless sobs shook me roughly, the hole in my chest parting my heart in two, and howls of anguish, loss, and despair screamed from my lips.

He was gone, Edward was really gone, and every nerve of my body knew it and screamed it at me. I just wanted the harmless ground to swallow me whole, to take me into some dark abyss, never to be found again by the harsh truth of reality where I always knew someone as perfect a love as Edward could never want as plain and ordinary as me. I found myself wincing at his name, where yesterday it would have brought butterflies to my stomach and warmed my very being.

My mind drifted back to earlier, simpler times with Edward. Our first meeting, our first conversation…the first night I dreamt of him. I wandered back to that reoccurring dream.

In my dream it was very dark, and what dim light there was seemed to be radiating from Edward's skin. I couldn't see his face, just his back as he walked away from me, leaving me in the blackness. No matter how fast I ran, I couldn't catch up to him; no matter how loud I called, he never turned.

I was abruptly frightened that it was not a dream at all—more of a signal, a vision of what was to come. The discovery brought on another round of hysteria that shook my tired, nerve-frayed body even harder than the sobs did, which were still coming full-force.

I subconsciously noticed that it was getting dark. My body and mind started to numb—it finally ran out of things to feed the waterfall of tears. I think my brain finally established that I was unwanted and unwantable. As I weakened from the tiredness that suddenly overwhelmed me, I faintly heard a male voice calling my name.

I shot straight up, my heart pounding erratically. Edward was back! Edward was back! A smily broke out on my lips as I waited for him to show.

My heart sunk 50 feet in my chest, the gash tearing itself impossibly bigger, as a propane lantern and an unfamiliar figure stepped in front of me.