Okay guys, this is mildly AU, I like to thin its Spirk (Kirk/Spock)
This was a competition, a 1000 work oneshot with the prompt: _ and _ walk into a bar.
Bit OOC for both Spock and Kirk.
So guys, enjoy.
James Kirk pushed his way through the swinging doors of the local bar alone, almost groaning when he noticed several people in Starfleet uniforms hanging around the bar, dancefloor and tables.
He wanted to bang his head against the bar, or just leave. But he kind of wanted booze.
He made his way to the bar, electing to ignore the leggy blonde next to him who sent him an interested look. He wanted to get drunk, he was so over being sober; he was going to drink himself to death he decided.
"Hi." Someone said beside him, he startled so hard he almost fell off his chair, was she talking to him? He thought as he looked at the woman beside, Starfleet uniform, he hoped she wasn't, "I'd like a Klabnian Fire Tea, two Cardassian Sunrises and three Earth beers, no slim-shots, anything on draft."
"That's a lot of drinks for one woman. Wearing those boots." He muttered to himself, the brunette beside him sent him a look,
Shit. He had a habit of saying his own private comments too loud, oh god why wouldn't she just look away?
"Sorry." He muttered again, this time purposefully for her to hear.
"And a shot of Jack, straight up." She said again to the bartender.
She didn't really accept his apology, seeming unamused by it, should he show he meant it?
"Her shot's on me." He said. Yes; that should do it.
"Her shot's on her. Thanks but no thanks." She said to him with an unamused smirk, maybe not then.
He was about to apologise again when a burly cadet appeared behind them, Ah, James thought, a friendly cadet acquaintance of Miss Boots, both got red on, Security?
"This guy bothering you?"
Miss Boots took merely a second to hesitate an answer (was he bothering her, he wasn't exactly hitting on her) but that was all burley Cupcake needed to take that as a yes, he grabbed James' shoulder to whirl him around to face him, some of Cupcake's friends came over to help,
"Hey. Hendrorff: enough." Miss Boots said to cupcake-Hendorff- in an attempt to break up a fight that had nothing to do with James.
"Ease up Cupcake." James muttered miserably, he didn't want a fight, he was just here to get drunk.
"What was that?" Cupcake asked,
"Nothing." James sighed, turning around sadly to his drink, ignoring the look on Miss Boots' face. The answer though, did not please a mildly intoxicated Cupcake. Cupcake swung Jim around again and swung his fist at his head.
James kirk did not want to start a fight, but there was no way in hell he wasn't going to fight back.
Cupcake swings his fist but Kirk headbutts his hand, breaking it, another cadet punches him then throws him into a table. When another cadet pulls him from the ground he slams five fast punches that sent the cadet back.
The last cadet hold him and punches him three-then four times.
"Enough!" Miss Boots screeches desperately, "STOP!"
The cadet holding him another couple of times as the others as the other three begin to get up, and for Kirk, enough was enough. He drove his knee up to hit cadet number 4 in the groin, grabbing his skull and bring it down on his upward knee.
The next three didn't get the chance to get taken down by Kirk when they were interrupted by presumably an officer of higher rank.
"Enough." The man in the blue Starfleet shirt said flatly. He didn't even need to raise his voice to get all the cadets' attention, even James stopped moving. James inspected the stranger, pointed ears, pale skin, sharp eyebrows. Vulcan, Jim decided. Definitely Vulcan.
"Outside, all cadets, now." He said, without removing his arms from behind his back. The cadets filed out from around James and he was left alone with a circle of regular patrons around him who had been happy to watch the fight.
The Vulcan in front of James inspected him, bloody nostrils but still relatively okay.
"Come with me." The Vulcan said, James didn't hesitate to follow.
They sat at a table for two, Kirk grabbing a handful of tissues and shoving them up his nose when he sat down. They sat stiffly for several long seconds before the Vulcan spoke,
"My name is Spock, may I enquire who you are?"
"Kirk. James Kirk." He said, sticking his hand out to shake hands, then remembering all he had read about Vulcans and brought his hand back to his side of the table.
Spock raised his eyebrows and fought the urge to say 'fascinating', James Kirk; The Kelvin Baby is what people called him, his father being the only one lost on the Kelvin, one generation dying as another was born. The press had a field day from what he remembered from his later readings of newspaper articles.
"Is there a reason you want to talk to me?" Kirk asked hesitantly.
Spock waited several seconds to answer as he took out his PADD and started to search something up, he then spoke as he was still typing,
"Those four cadets you fought, they will make competent officers. I must enquire, what martial arts and combat areas you have previously trained in, for those four cadets have been going through state of the art training to become sufficient Starfleet security officers, you were in the process of overpowering them."
James just shrugged his shoulders, becoming curious when Mr Spock apparently found what he wanted,
"Mr Kirk, your aptitude tests are at the highest score the test can go." Kirk narrowed his eye at Mr Spock's words,
"Your point?"
"Mr Kirk." Spock said, moving his hands to the table top and lacing them together, "Enlist in Starfleet." He said bluntly.
James couldn't believe this, he let out a disbelieving huff,
"Enlist. You must be down on your quota for the month-"
"Mr Kirk." Spock uncharacteristically cut off, "You have the highest aptitude of anyone at the academy I am aware of. I suggest you think this through."
And James did.
He hated Starfleet, they were the reason his father died, why his mother became unattached, why his brother ran away from their horrid stepfather and why James was miserable. Starfleet was the catalyst that was ruining the rest of his life.
But would it be so back, there would be a proper bedroom, even if it was with a roommate, food, education and the good looking Vulcan in front of him would be there.
"It would be merely four years of your time." Spock added.
James smiled slightly and with a soft voice says,
"Four years? I'm gonna do it in three"
