Sex with a Trickster is…interesting.
Sex with an archangel is…really, really hot (and also maybe a little sacrilegious, but Sam hasn't been smited yet, so why stop a good thing?)
Sex with Gabe, though…sex with Gabe is weird, and kinky, and mindblowing, and just so perfectly good.
(Most of the time, it's good enough that Sam forgets just how weird and kinky Gabe tends to be.)
Sometimes, though, Gabriel kind of…pushes the envelope.
"You want to what?" Sam is staring at his archangel lover, pretty sure he's lost a damn good bit of his mind.
"I want. To fuck you. In Dean's precious baby." Gabriel speaks slowly, enunciating his words, and that just reassures Sam that he actually had heard him right.
"Are you insane?" Sam hisses, furtively looking around to make sure Dean's not anywhere where he could have overheard Gabe's blasphemy. "If Dean catches us-"
Gabriel rolls his eyes. "What, you're afraid I'm going to make you scream, Samlami? I'd like to think that I have the power to make sure Big Brother Mook doesn't catch us doing the dirty."
Sam's still a little hesitant to accept the idea (the Impala is like most of his childhood, what he thinks of when he thinks 'home' and he thinks that maybe there's something a little wrong with Gabe fucking him in it.).
Gabriel catches his apprehension, and sighs.
"Of course, I could always turn you into the Impala." he muses, looking over Sam appreciatively.
Sam splutters, because that had not been fun the last time, in fact, it had been pretty damn confusing, even if it had been better than the Tuesdays. "Wha-Why?"
The smile Gabe shoots him is pure Trickster mischief. "So I can ride you. All night long."
Dean's not sure what to think, when he opens the trunk of his baby, to find-not the weapons he'd been expecting-a collection of very interesting sex toys and candy. Everywhere.
He's not sure what to think, but he knows exactly who to blame.
"SAMMY. GET YOUR ANGEL BUTT-BUDDY OVER HERE RIGHT THE FUCK NOW."
(Dean will forever deny that he shrieked like a girl when Sam's voice emanates from the car.)
"He's passed out in the front seat."
Dean looks around wildly.
"Sammy? Where are you?"
There's a long pause and then-
"I'm the Impala, Dean. Again."
(It's not often you get to hear a car sound exasperated, but Dean's freaking out a little to much to appreciate how lucky he is.)
Sam's just happy that he is a car right now, so it is so not his issue to stop Dean from getting the Colt and chasing Gabe down, threatening to castrate him if he ever defiles his baby again.
(Later, he'll think that maybe he should be upset that Dean got angrier over this than when he found out the archangel had deflowered his little brother.)
