Disclaimers: Don't see a big need for this, this round, but as always I don't own any characters from Gundam Wing.

Warnings: Extreme Angst!!!! We're talking wanna die gonna do it, level here. Granted, you don't see the phrase 'death fic' because it isn't, but damn near close. AU

Author's Notes: K, this is written in Sally's POV. Even the strongest fall sometimes. I'm sure you can figure out whom I intend as her 'savior' in this. Let's just say, her love has been missing for a long, long time. Past the point where everyone else would have given up hope long ago.

Comments: More than welcome.

Archived: Nowhere yet, but like all my fics: my site and if ya want it, just ask.

For Him

By Selena Barton

I carefully place the tip of the sword against my chest between my breasts. I let my eyes run over the smooth metal of the katana. My fingers run over the dragons engraved on the hilt. They look back at me mockingly, devouring the last of my strength.

The cool metal pressed against the skin begging to be buried in the warmth of my body.

I feel cold and numb. The dull ache was better than the harsh pain I've felt up to now.

This image I see in the mirror seems surreal.

I see me knelt there on the velvet navy pillow. My eyes are empty, cold. They're puffy, swollen, but the tears are gone now. I've cried all the tears I have. I'll never have to worry about that. I won't live long enough to need them again.

I see the reflection of the katana. It welcomes me to a state of ease. It offers to end the pain. Beacons me to surrender.

I tighten my grip on the hilt. I feel the dragons beneath my fingers. The beaconing and begging is louder.

I close my eyes. All I feel is the cool metal tip of the blade pressing into my bare chest.

I open my eyes again seeing my reflection staring back at me. Blood slowly runs down my front. The tip of the sword piercing my skin, but I don't feel any pain.

I can see I am alone, but I can feel his warmth behind me, his arms around me and holding my hands steady. I take a deep breath and slowly let it out. I take another deep breath and ready myself to answer the beaconing call. I close my eyes and tighten my grip.

I begin slowly releasing the deep breath. I feel 'his' hands tighten around mine. His warmth seems so much more. I begin trying to pull the sword closer. My arms can't move, and I open my eyes.

I can see him in the mirror this time.

"You can't," I hear him whisper softly.

I feel the katana being pried from my grip.

It clatters to the floor.

I feel his arms wrap around me tightly, and I feel tears begin to run down my cheeks.

I bury my face in the crook of his neck. Weakly, I try to wrap my arms around him. I feel a tender kiss placed upon my cheek. Deep obsidian eyes watch me and tell me not to give up hope. I feel his lips pressed to mine. I close my eyes and drown in the kiss.

I open my eyes to see myself in the mirror, the katana still against my chest, blood slowly running down my chest. I don't know how long I've been sitting like this. I feel the tingling in my legs where they have gone to sleep without my knowledge.

In my mind, I still see those obsidian eyes filling me with hope. I look down to the katana's hilt covered with dragons. They beacon me again.

"You can't," I hear his voice whisper again.

I look at the rest of the room in the mirror. I am still alone, physically. But now I know. I know he still lives. He still cares. I am why he lives. I can't die, for him.

The katana clatters to the floor.

I throw myself down on the floor away from the beaconing death and begin to sob uncontrollably. I know he lives, he loves, and somewhere, he cries for me. And for him, I will do the same.