Duty and Destruction

by the Trojanhorse

An under-300-word drabble built on a moment when the narrative could feasibly have turned into Aziraphale/Crowley slash. Writing in italics is directly taken from the book.

This is for my beta Bridget, who for once didn't get nitpicky about commas. I must be improving. Happy belated birthday.

Disclaimer; Aziraphale and Crowley and all writing in italics is property of Terry Pratchett and Neil Gaiman and as such I make no claim on it.

Why did I do this? Ineffabilis Deus. Hey, if it works for the Pope it works for me.

xxx

'There you are, then,' said Crowley, sitting back. 'Whole sea bubbling, poor old dolphins so much seafood gumbo, no-one giving a damn. Same with gorillas. Whoops, they say, sky gone all red, stars crashing to ground, what they putting in the bananas these days? And then –'

'They make nests, you know, gorillas,' said the angel, pouring another drink and managing to hit the glass on the third go.

'Nah.'

'God's truth. Saw a film. Nests.'

'That's birds,' said Crowley.

'Nests,' insisted Aziraphale.

Crowley decided not to argue the point.

'There you are then,' he said. 'All creatures great and smoke. I mean small. Great and small. Lot of them with brains. And then, bazamm.'

'But you're part of it,' said Aziraphale. 'You tempt people. You're good at it.'

Crowley thumped his glass on the table. 'That's different. They don't have to say yes. That's the ineffable bit, right? Your side made it up. You've got to keep testing people. But not to destruction.'

'What if they don't want to say no?' said Aziraphale quietly, after they'd both paused to contemplate. 'I mean, humans, suicidal, the lot of them. They kill each other, which is patently insane. Armageddon. They think s'great. Made a film about it.'

'Can't want it, really want it, though, can they?'

'Maybe God built it in. Ineffable, 'm I right?'

'I thought was evil that contained seeds of its own destruction. Not good. Not like, your actual good.'

'Everything has to have the seed thingies built in, right? Otherwise, how could the dest- dist- dester- bugger this, the ruin happen?'

'So, like, temptation is good?'

They eyed each other for a minute. It occurred to Aziraphale that God's handiwork on, for example, ethereal beings, had been exquisite, and that it really should be admired from closer up. Purely from an aesthetic desire to appreciate beauty, naturally.

'Could be,' said Aziraphale slowly. 'Could very well be. Opportunity to, you know, display very . . . brotherly love and things . . . like . . . that.'

'Sounds appealing . . . ' said Crowley, edging closer.

'Uh-uh, don't you try to tempt me, you old snake,' said Aziraphale, wagging a finger, but leaning closer anyway. 'S'my duty as a . . . Force of Good to . . . resist you at . . . every . . . turn,' he finished, as their mutual forwards momentum finally brought them together.