Vegeta Goes Shopping
By Syvella


---Disclaimer--
I am obligated to remind you that I do not own the rights to Dragonball Z and that Dragonball Z belong to Akira Toriyama.
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Goku was out flying one day after deciding to make a game out of following a gold finch to wherever it may lead him. It would just so happen that this innocent little gold finch would lead Goku straight through one of the windows of the Capsule Corps building. By pure coincidence, that particular window happened to be that of the very room that contained Vegeta.

"Kakarot! How dare you defile my home in such an infantile manner!" shouted Vegeta, his forehead vein throbbing with anger. "Do you know the penalty for desecrating the dwelling of the Prince of the Saiyans?"

"What can I tell you, Vegeta?" responded Goku. "I just really love birds." Goku added a small nervous laugh and flew off.

"YOU'LL PAY FOR THIS, KAKAROT!" screamed Vegeta as Goku disappeared from view. With that, Vegeta let out a sigh and mumbled something about having to buy a new window.

Vegeta grabbed his wallet and headed out to the nearest Wal-Mart store. It was a rather nice day so Vegeta felt that maybe he should try walking for once. He quickly bored of this mundane human activity and recommenced flying. He reached the store in what seemed no time at all. He had completed the first part of his epic quest for a new window. His next challenge wouldn't be quite so easy.

When he entered the store, Vegeta found himself face to face with an old man wearing a Wal-Mart vest. His name tag said "Burt: Greeter." Vegeta eyed the lowly commoner with contempt. In a troll like voice the greeter blurted out "Hey I'm Burt!"

"I don't care!" Vegeta said with a sneer as he tried to find a path around the old fool.

"Can I have a hug?" asked Burt in his strange, troll-like voice.

"No." said Vegeta. "I am the prince of all Saiyans. I do not have to waste my time speaking to such social vermin as yourself."

"Okay! Bye-bye!"

Vegeta began to show himself around the store. He saw neither hind nor tail of windows. All he saw were cheap poorly made clothes and various foods high in fat and cholesterol. Where do I go? He thought. Bulma normally does all the shopping. Vegeta continued wandering around the store until he came across one of Wal-Mart's best kept secrets: The Clearance Aisle. Vegeta could not believe the wonders he saw before his eyes. He saw snow mobiles, digital Bibles, parachutes, puppies, and he even saw a window.

The window in question was quite bizarre. It was a stained glass affair that wielded an image of what appeared to be a duckling dressed up as Jesus Christ. Vegeta smiled. He liked the window and was pleased to see that it was the proper shape and size to replace the window that Goku had destroyed earlier. He could visualize colorful light filling his home. Vegeta decided without hesitation to buy the window. He proceeded to the check out counter.

The cashier working was a particularly greasy teenager of ambiguous gender. Vegeta tried to figure out this kid's gender based on its name. The cashier's nametag simply read "Drew." This genderless name did nothing to solve the mystery. Maybe Drew's voice would give a clue.

"Good day sir. That window will cost you two dollars" said Drew. Much to Vegeta's dismay Drew's voice was just as ambiguous as Drew's appearance and name.

"I'm not paying" said Vegeta flatly.

"Then why did you bother coming to the register, sir?" asked Drew, who's gender was becoming even more of a mystery with every passing second.

"Because I hate you" answered Vegeta. "I hate you and all the other teenagers who are oily and ambiguous of gender who plague this planet."

"Okay sir. Will that be cash or check?"

"You just don't get it do you?"

"No sir, I don't."

Vegeta rolled his eyes and schlepped his beautiful window home. He propped it up against a wall. He took a step back and admired his purchase as he made plans to install it after his dinner. Bulma should be home to cook it for him any minute now. As he remembered Bulma he couldn't help but ask himself if she would like the Jesus Duck window as much as he did. Probably, he thought, but he'd have to wait until she got home to know for sure.