Sometimes I lay in bed at night and wonder why I love him so much. Sure, he can light up a room just by walking in, without even saying Lumos, but he never seems to see me as anyone besides Ron's stupid, dumb little sister, Ginny. But I'm so much more. Why can't he see what he's doing to me? And how can I even love someone this way, when he feels nothing of the sort when he sees me?
Of course, I know why I get so weak when I see him. It's the little things like the way his hair falls in his eyes. Of course, the big things like everything he's been capable of, how strong he is, adds to the way I feel.
I need fresh air. We don't get outside much here in Hogwarts unless you play Quidditch, and it even makes me miss the chickens we have at home, and I never liked them. They pecked my fingers too much when I fed them, and kept ruining my shoes. However, they listened when I had something to say, unlike everyone here.
When I walk outside during lunch, seeking the sweet smell of the outdoors, I stand in the doorway and instantaneously notice that familiar black pom-pom hair and the guitar combination. Harry Potter. My heart stops and I stand still. Should I go out there? My heart tugs me further outside, my feet fight to push me inside, and my brain seems to have two conflicting sides. Finally, I decide my heart is to prevail. Act natural, I think. What is natural for me? Panicking, I pull out a pencil and begin to wiggle it up and down as I wander toward Harry.
"Hey, Ginny!" He calls, beckoning me over. "Come here, I wanna show you something."
Trying not to explode with happiness, I walk over. "Hey, Harry Potter," I beam at him.
"Listen, I wanna play you this song I've been working on," He says to me. "I met this girl that I really, really like and I wanna let her know that she's really special." I try to shove thoughts out of my mind. He can't mean me. Why would he?
"Well," He continues. "I just wanna know what you think. Just for the purposes of now, 'cause I'm still working out the lyrics, I'll put your name where her name should be - but I don't think it's really gonna work out. Well, let me give it a shot," He says, placing his hands in position on his guitar.
My hopes rise up like a broomstick. He's playing me a song for a girl he likes, and he's putting my name in it. He might mean me!
"You're tall fun and pretty, you're really, really skinny - Ginny," He sings, hesitating on my name.
"I'm the Mickey to your Minnie, you're the Tigger to my Winnie - Ginny!" He must just be nervous about this, and that must be why he hesitates.
"Wanna take you to the city, gonna take you out to dinny - Ginny," HE LOVES ME! WE'RE GONNA LOVE EACH OTHER FOREVER AND EVER UNTIL WE DIE!
"You're cuter than a guinea pig, wanna take you up to Winnipeg - That's in Canada! Ginny, Ginny, Ginny-" He stops singing suddenly. "You know what, it doesn't work with your name at all. Well, I dunno, how does that make you feel, emotionally?" He leans in to hear my answer.
I realize that I am completely dumbstruck, so I say the same, well, dumb thing I always say. "Wow! Wow-ee, Harry Potter!" I gush, giggling like an idiot.
"Don't you think it could, uh, I dunno, make a girl fall in love with me?" He asks hopefully, looking just a tad nervous. Boys. He doesn't realize I'm totally onto his schtick.
"I think it already has," I reply, trying at flirtiness and probably failing miserably. But who cares? He feels about me the way I feel about him!
He smiles. "Awesome! 'Cause it's for Cho Chang!" He exclaims, turning back to his guitar.
You know how, in Lord of the Rings, Gollum dies by jumping into lava after the ring? I feel like that now. I've practically gone crazy over something - someone - amazing, and now I feel like I've just died a horrible death. My stomach seems to writhe in agony, and I struggle to keep a straight, tearless face.
"Oh...yeah, she is beautiful," I agree, trying to hide the pain from my voice. It's true - she is. I just wish she weren't.
"What are ya, nuts? Beautiful? More like super-mega-foxy-awesome-hot!" He says. "She's the hottest girl I've ever met! She's far more attractive, far more appealing, far more interesting than any girl I know, in my immediate group of friends!" He rambles. I can't take it. I begin to fiddle about with my hair a bit, trying to disguise the tears appearing in my eyes.
I know I shouldn't like him so much, it just gives me the hurt of unrequited love. But he's just so...so...perfect. Even when he's just standing there, he takes away my breath. Harry, why can't you see what you're doing to me?
