Hello P&P fandom! It's so good to see you!
I haven't had anything posted into P&P before so this is an exciting new venture for me! :)
Also, I really wish I had posted this before the last episode. But oh well! BRING ON MONDAY!
Remember to let me know what you think. Thanks :)
Lizzie's recycling bin had nearly seen some very interesting moments in their time. But there was one shot, one near video, that Lizzie never expected to speak, let alone send to the recycling bin.
-/-
Hi, everybody. Well, it's about half eleven here and… this isn't exactly what I had planned on doing, or saying, or… anything really. It's just… Jane is off in New York with Bing and Lydia seems to be doing well with counselling and I have been trying so hard to drown myself in work with my project so I don't have to think about this but…
My name is Lizzie Bennet and… I miss Darcy.
There. I've said it. I… It's just that…
Okay, so a few moments ago I was working on my grad paper. And it was going great. I had my laptop out, was listening to music… and then I changed the song. I don't even know why I put that stupid song on. I don't even like Dido. But before I knew it stupid Sand In My Shoes was playing and… I just… I broke down.
Sigh.
I- I miss Pemberly. I miss Gigi and Fitz and… Darcy. That song just really hit home for me. I feel like there is so much unfinished business. Things that I need to… get closure on. It's like... everything from Pemberly was a story and I've just dropped the book halfway through. I… I know that there's nothing left waiting for me at Pemberly. I mean, no-one has even tried to talk to me.
Not that I blame them.
Gigi, I mean, what happened with her… and my sister… I understand. And Darcy… Well, you know what he's like. He just… just… I don't know, okay? I, I don't know why he would do this for Lydia.
Well no, that's not true. I mean, he will feel guilty, of course he will, that's what he's like. He… knowing Darcy he just feels like he should have spoken out about Wickham sooner and so he's trying to make amends. I've been watching my videos, I saw what he looked like when I asked whose fault it was that this- it- all happened.
But a part of me… maybe..? hopes… No. I don't… I can't…
It's not like he feels the same as he did in October. He can't feel the same. I know what Lydia thinks, I know what you guys are saying- that he did it for me. But… I crushed this guy last October. Do you guys remember that? I can't expect him to just… Honestly, I… I'm not so vain as to think that he may still…
And I know, you will all just tell me to call him. I'll tell you like I told Charlotte. I can't do that. Can I? I mean… he saved my baby sister, so I should… right? But if he wanted me to know… He would have told me. All he had to be was be like 'Hey, Lizzie. I feel responsible for Lydia's current predicament and want to make amends by fixing the situation so I'm going to buy and entire company so that your sister isn't more emotionally hurt by a man she loves than she already is.'
Sigh.
Yeah- okay, I get it. He would never say that. He wouldn't want our thanks. He would feel it is his duty. I just… If he doesn't want me to know… what does this mean? Do I just expect to never hear from him again? Just live in his debt for the rest of my life? Or… I don't know what to expect.
I… I want to.
I want to see him. I guess.
To say... thank you.
At least…
Somthing like that.
